Okay so I've had this idea for a really long time but like NRH AU in which Albus,Theseus, Percival, and Gellert are all leaders of their own dance troupe and are rivals that is until one day Newt shows up and dances in front of them and their all just SHOOK at the sight of this redhead beauty dancing in heels and let's just say the four are left a little... Uncomfortable after that performance. This is in reference of that Yanis Marshall ask u received sometime ago. Pls write pretty please.
Percival, Theseus, Albus and Gellert need new people in their respective companies so they decide to open auditions at the same time and in the same place. Even though they don't like each other (the only ones working together are Albus and Gellert) they think if they make the call at the same time it could help bring more talented people.
Also, they know really well they're looking for different characteristics in young dancers so it's not like they're going to have to fight over one of them in particular.
Or so they thought.
Because after a long day (and a few disappointing performances) a beautiful redhead walks in with heels, shorts and a cute turtleneck sweater that makes him look adorable.
"I'm sorry... What was your name again?" Albus asks, cheeks turning slightly red. None of the others make fun of him for not paying attention, because they were also too busy looking at the young dancer's beauty and didn't hear the name.
"Newt," the smile is wide and sincere and the four men feel their hearts beat crazily inside their chests.
Even with a sweater, the four men can appreciate Newt's grace and controlled movements when he dances in front of them without losing balance as he spins over those high heels of his.
It's almost mesmerizing... And it's really distracting considering the fact that Newt has long legs covered in freckles that look even longer with the heels.
The problem starts when Newt begins to move his hips and Percival almost throws the glass of water he has in front of him and Theseus chokes on his coffee.
Gellert takes Albus hand and the other man completely understands what he's feeling when Newt spreads his legs a little bit further.
When the song ends, Newt's cheeks are pink and his eyes are glimmering with excitement.
They're also excited, but in a very different kind of way. In fact, they're so excited their trousers have started to feel quite uncomfortable they won't be able to rise from their seats if they don't want anyone else to notice how happy Newt's dance made them.
"I want you–" Percival is cut off by an irritated Theseus who claims that Newt will be better in his dance company.
Gellert considers for a moment to argue with those two as well, but Albus stops him before he has the chance.
Newt grimaces at the sight of people discussing and it's clear he doesn't like it so he probably wouldn't like to have to choose one of them.
"I think... All of us can help you," Gellert mumbles, surprising the other two. "We're experienced and we could help you reach your full potential, Liebling."
Percival glares at Grindelwald suspiciously, but quickly realizes is the best option if they don't want to scare Newt off.
Also, probably the four of them know by then that neither want to have only a professional relationship with that beautiful redhead.
So they need to spend time with him in order to woo him properly.
"I'd like that," Newt finally mumbles and the four men in front of him smile back triumphantly.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING POST CONTAINS MAJOR SPOILERS FOR FANTASTIC BEASTS: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD. READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION.
THIS ISN’T A FULL REVIEW, JUST MY IMMEDIATE THOUGHTS AND REACTIONS UPON SEEING THE FILM
THE GOOD
almost every performance in this film is well done. i felt there were a few small characters that were not the greatest, like the auror who gets the job offered to newt, the circus guy. but the main cast delivered.
this film looks beautiful. colleen atwood’s costumes look beautiful. special notes to everything worn by leta lestrange, the woman who follows grindelwald & brings queenie to meet him ( did she get a name? i swear they never named her... but there are so many characters in this movie... it’s impossible to keep them straight ). i love tina’s Parisian haircut. it suited her really well and served as a good reminder of passing time between this and the first.
i do like seeing other wizarding cultures, even if they didn’t really show us french wizard culture as much as i would have liked. especially since fleur delacour, beauxbatons are already areas people are interested in... it would have been nice to see more but i liked what i did see.
i liked that leta lestrange wasn’t the dark bellatrix type figure / temptress people were fanoning her out to be after being mentioned in the first film. i actually liked her character so i’m really mad that she was killed. i liked she had complexity, even if some parts of her will be brought up in other sections.
i forget it’s name, but i really like that giant cat creature. it’s cute. i love it. i want 5 for myself.
i liked seeing queenie get overwhelmed on the streets, because she’s a legilimens and all those thoughts would be overstimulating to her. i just thought it was a nice touch.
bunty telling newt to take off his shirt to go swimming was a mood.
i liked how jude law incorporated the manipulative parts of dumbledore, but it wasn’t in a obvious way. it was so well done, i really love it. it showed the morally flawed nature of the man really well. basically everything jude law did was perfect. including how he was the only one that seemed to subtly implicate that gellert and albus were gay. it’s not perfect, but i think he actually read the books before hand and knew whom he was playing really well.
i know we don’t like him, but i do like how gellert addressed the rally. how he talks to people. reasons with them. how he rarely does the horrific acts himself, its always his followers. it’s chilling and really clever. it brings to mind cults, extreme right groups, dictators trying to induct and enforce their beliefs on the mass.
THE BAD
what the fuck was with queenie? don’t get me wrong, i’m not against queenie turning to gellert’s side or her heart being what gets used against her... because that has the making of good conflict. what i’m against is how it was done. queenie is in a total of five-six scenes in the film. one is a plot dump for what we have missed off screen, one-two are her looking for tina but they are the same narrative thread they basically count as one scene just spliced within other scenes, she meets the french lady whom i swear never had her name said... then grindelwald then she’s at the rally where the ending of the film happens. she turns so fast. the film covers maybe a couple days? and you don’t even see the full conversation with grindelwald. so not only does she do nothing in this film, she turns to the bad side on a dime for what feels like cheap and unearned dramatics at the end of the film, but they are overshadowed and never even really acknowledged by the other characters because leta has her sacrifice right after, and credence has his conversion and that one is more plot driven then queenie’s which just feels like an afterthought. honestly all of queenie felt like it was added in last minute. she just doesn’t fit the rest of the film. she looks for tina, never finds her, tina never even asks or wonders about her. we dont even see her REACT to her own sister JOINING GRINDELWALD. newt forgets about her, jacob talks about her a bit, but other than being funny to watch, jacob also really doesn’t have anything to do in this movie. ironically, jacob feels more validated as a component because at least he’s helping newt as he looks for queenie, over queenie the reason jacob is there in the first place...and who is meant to have this big shocking “plot” if you told me that this was all added in a final draft, after seeing queenie and jacob be so popular, i wouldn’t be surprised at all. so really, queenie’s betrayal not only made sense, but it literally didn’t even matter to the plot of the film or any of the character arcs.
i also didn’t like how she just essentually drugged jacob with love potion which has literally been likened to date rape drugs and everything in earlier canon and analysis but here it gets hardly any response outside of “oh that queenie.... drugging jacob again to make him marry her”. i felt at least newt should have had a stronger reaction to it. especially when a big plot point later is someone having magic used on them to essentially do the same thing and cause all this family drama for the lestrange family. i think it’s suppose to be foreshadowing, but it’s not really handled well.
this one is kind of unimportant, but i also felt like queenie’s hair colour really looked off this time. i don’t know if it was a different wig or dye or if the colouring just didn’t flatter it... but it really made alison sudol look washed out in scenes and looked the wrong shade in others. i really don’t know but it bugged me a bit.
i’m really mad that they killed off leta lestrange, she had so much build up... and she was actually more interesting than other character plots... but then they just... killed her off. and she really didn’t need to die... like its framed like a moment for newt to finally join the war properly and he sorta starts to connect with his brother again after, but i feel the entirety of the movie was enough to get him involved. so really, we just killed off a really interesting female character ( a woc character too ) just... for the sake of a male’s plot. wonderful.
on the subject of leta lestrange, i felt that whole scene with her, her brother, credence, tina and newt to be weirdly paced and shot. like so much information dump happened and people kept revealing things and it was hard to keep straight.
there are so many plots. too many plots. so many micro-plots, not subplots. but smaller. the whole movie is micro-plots that result in everyone at the same place for the climax of the film, which would be cool except many of these characters, places, etc get little to no explanation or build up. just “i’m here now’. and there is no resolution.
on that note, THERE IS NO RESOLUTION. THE MOVIE JUST STOPS. it feels like this movie either was meant to have an extended ending that got cut.. or they filmed and wrote it like it was the first part in a two parter, except it’s not. its a film in a series but its only one part. so it’s just a movie that ends abruptly and awkwardly with no kind of wrap up of anything. like yeah you want plot threads to fuel the next film, but literally nothing gets any kind of ending or closure. unless you count newt and thesus hugging? but that is all relied upon throwaway lines and its really ( again ) unimportant in the long run.. so it doesn’t count.
so in the end, credence gets a wand and grindelwald tells him he’s actually a long lost dumbledore because in 2018 joanne rowling doesn’t even know her own canon and the fact he only has two siblings. and i mean, i get its meant to be a secret surprise brother, but when so much of the deathly hallows FOCUSES on his backstory with gellert and how it intertwines with his siblings, it feels really poorly thought out. the dumbledores and grindelwald’s backstory is pretty set in stone from the deathly hallows as told by both rita skeeter’s book, aberforth and even dead dumbledore himself. how it destroyed their family, and all of that is the set up for their conflict now.. so throwing in a surprise brother after all of that feels kind of cheap and lazy at this point. and again, no build up. no set up. just... “here’s a wand. i made this bird a phoenix. you're a dumbledore. end movie’. nothing foreshadows it. just “you're a dumbledore, credence.” he’s like the worst version of the hagrid meme.
THE MISGUIDED
lets talk about nagini, i’m not the high most authority on the subject as a white female, but from my understanding of the controversy from people much more informed than i am, the fact that nagini turned out to be basically a nothing almost feels worse than when she was framed like this big controversial focal point for the film. okay so, nagini literally didn’t need to be nagini. at all. she’s a snake once, and it’s in such an obvious “look its nagini from harry potter”. moreover, she literally didn’t even need to be a snake. its such a irrelevant part of the story. which just shows how much this nagini thing was just slapped on the character to create controversy to sell tickets and get people talking about the movie. WHICH JUST MAKES IT EVEN MORE WORSE, when you factor in that nagini is a nothing character on top of this. she is essentially scenery. she does nothing contribution wise except be there with credence until he goes to grindelwald and then stands with the heroes at hogwarts at the end for some reason, she just tagged along i guess. AND ALL OF THIS MAKES THE CONTROVERSY FEEL SO MUCH WORSE, because it’s literally an insensitive & thoughtless character created for the purpose of nothing. there isn’t even a big plot reason, nothing is contingent on her. you could remove her from the film and it changes nothing. which makes this the second woc character to get the shaft.
okay so the first film set up that there was a love plot of some kind involving newt and leta that would be explored in future films. and it’s not that it wasn’t there. you saw that with leta and newt; but what isn’t explained is how 1) she ended up with his brother, 2) how she got him expelled, 3) how that affected things between them, and 4) where is his brother in all of this? and they killed leta... so are we just done with that now? because it was set up that this would matter and it really didn’t. not that i didn’t like that her whole character wasn’t around a love plot... but i also kind of want answers? but also don’t think i didn’t notice how her whole plot was related to men in her life. i liked her, but she wasn’t perfectly written. truthfully this film is held together by amazing design and actors. zoe kravitz brought this to life.
i didn’t mind the flashbacks... but it was weird how they didn’t really do any camera or editing tricks to differentiate between present day and flashback. more for the hogwarts one, its edited so it looks like the movie just changes to another movie for like fifteen minutes ( its a long flashback you guys ) and then cuts back. it was just really weirdly edited.
so, when did we stop calling MACUSA... MACUSA? it was just called american ministry of magic this time and since it had a name that was a huge part of marketing for the first film and was used a lot in the film as well. it just felt weird that they dropped it. also, they dropped the no-maj thing except for once when grindelwald uses a bunch of terms to describe muggles in his speech. i mean, i know we all mocked it.. but once you establish a universe, its jarring when the rules of it suddenly are changed because of focus group testing not liking it.
i briefly touched upon this with queenie’s note, but jacob really felt like he was added just because he was popular in the first one. like in the first one, he’s essential to the plot and the character arcs of the main characters as well as a good character on his own. but... he felt shoehorned into the film. like he had a good ending, and the implication that he found queenie in the end felt like a good solid ending to his story. but this time, he’s just there. he helps newt a bit, has funny lines... but again, if you cut him out... you lost nothing. actually, you could cut queenie out and the film would progress as normal. they were entirely subplot and background noise.
i know we wanted to build up tina and newt, but its been 9 months. they havent seen each other since new york... this whole bit felt forced and was essentially the “misunderstanding trope”. and again... there was hardly any reward or pay off for that time. the whole thing is dropped by the third act and become irrelevant again. because the movie just... ends.
THE BIZARRE
there were a lot of dead babies for a wizarding world film. like two babies are killed/murdered in the plot of this film and that felt.. kind of dark for this series. its like they want to be edgy but can’t commit to it so they do it in small bursts but then the rest f the movie is madcap adventure. so it really stands out.
the cast and crew went out of their way to state that the gay stuff wouldn’t be a thing in this movie. the bullshit reason being “everyone already knows so why bother”. and yeah, this is a clear case of insincere representation --- but then you have jude law over here giving lines deeper meaning with his acting... the blood pact having them entwine hands and fingers and framed intimately when shown on screen.... and i swear, while not heart shaped, the blood pin thing that newt steals from grindelwald invokes the idea of heart shaped jewelry... and even if its not.. its worn on his chest above his heart? so it invokes the idea that way. which makes me beg the question, if it was going to be subverted anyway... and EVERYONE HAS KNOWN FOR 11 YEARS.. why oh why was it being treated like a hush hush secret ‘ gay but not really gay’ thing. just fucking let them be gay. let them be shown to be former lovers / someone dumbledore used to love. even if they don’t say it to characters, there are ways to convey that visually. and the mirror scene isn’t enough. i’m sorry but its not. like calm down. its 2018. it’s not a secret.
in the beginning, grindelwald looks a bit like haymitch from the hunger games
thesus looked like percy weasley in a lot of scenes.
I’LL HAVE MORE COHESIVE THOUGHTS AND OPINIONS LATER ONCE I PROCESS IT ALL MORE. BUT THESE ARE MY INITIAL REACTIONS AND THOUGHTS UPON JUST SEEING THE FILM FOR THE FIRST TIME.
OVERALL, THIS FILM HAS WAY TOO MUCH GOING ON. DOESN’T FOCUS ENOUGH ON THE IMPORTANT PARTS, NEEDS TO FLESH IDEAS OUT MORE.. A LOT OF THINGS HAPPEN BUT ALSO, NOTHING MATTERS TO THE STORY. IT FELT LIKE A LOT OF SCENES WERE CUT OUT FOR TIME. THE MISMATCHED NATURE OF PLOTS FELT MORE LIKE TV EPISODES RATHER THAN A FILM. BUT THE ACTORS REALLY GIVE THE FILM SOME CREDIBILITY AND MAKE THE RIDE AT LEAST ENJOYABLE TO WATCH, BUT I’M NOT ITCHING TO SEE IT AGAIN. A LET DOWN AFTER THE FIRST FILM, BUT I HOPE FOR IMPROVEMENT. ALL IN ALL, JUST STOP LETTING JOANNE TALK / WRITE. SHE MAKES BEING A HP FAN IN 2018 SO HARD; AND GOD BLESS JUDE LAW.
