What do you do?
I am often asked the question that everyone who knows exactly where they need to be in their lives love to answer and the question that everyone who has no idea where or what they need to be in their lives makes them want to slit their wrists with their teeth.
It always goes a lil' somethin' like this here...
"Hey T...what do you do"?
Which is the exact moment that I wince, die a bit inside, and get the look of "oh shit, I've been caught" on my face. There's usually a bit of weird silence before I muster up the best answer I can come up with and spew it out of my mouth with the only conviction....
"Everything"
If I'm lucky that answer will suffice said questionaire's need to know how amazing, horrible, or threatening I am, and it can end there. Unfortunately, that's not typically how it works. Matter of fact, it's the worst answer one can give if they want this type of questioning to go away quickly and quietly out the same weird cat door it squeezed it's fat ass through on the way in. I set myself up for this failure every single time. I never learn...and I always end up doing the homer simpson "doh!" slap on the forehead as soon as my answer is spoken aloud. I'm never surprised and I always walk away from these conversations telling myself that I really need to come up with something better and less mysterious. I never can. I never will. Because, at the end of it all, it's the stupid truth.
I. Do. Everything.
and nothing all at the same time.
I can master any task that is given to me...except freakin' math and lying. I enjoy the truth entirely too much to even attempt to learn how to do the opposite and math and I have never and will never have an understanding of each other. I'm ok with that.
I have done entirely too many things in my life that I still thoroughly enjoy doing but haven't followed through on and have accomplished even less of the things that I feel I should be dabbling in.
A successful fail? Or a failed attempt at success?
Lord knows I can't figure that one out.
I moved to NYC to sing. I sang. Alot. I stopped.
I wrote half of my novel and decided I didn't want to cover that subject matter anymore. There goes the publisher.
I write tons of spoken word and get great critiques but haven't done an open mic yet.
I still dance...just not so professionally, as it's usually in my bedroom when I'm rocking out to Pandora.
My marketing skills are still pretty damn amazing....can't say I've put that on the back burner yet. Ha, there's one!
My reality show stint just made me want my own show where I can say whatever I want and cover insane content. Need to figure out how to get that one in my reach.
I'm still half way through becoming a licensed vet tech but I can't fathom sitting here pushing chemotherapy all day long when I could be out in the field pulling injured animals out of natural disasters.
I really like to write. I do. A lot. I still sing a lot. I should probably go back to getting paid for it. It was better that way.
I ride horses, I pet sit, I can tend bar, and organize the messiest person's surroundings. I was an A & R for a record company for awhile and I'd be an amazing obstacle race runner. I'm an amazing advocate for chronic pain and I loveeeeeeeeee love love to talk in front of a gazillion people. It makes me uber happy.
So...
None of these things are a problem...the problem is figuring out what the hell I should focus on because dabbling is all of them at once doesn't get you far in anything.
I suppose that giving the honest answer of "Everything" when asked the dreaded question is much better than saying "Nothing" because at least I have options.
Right?
Yea..
That's what I think too.
I'll figure it out...eventually...or maybe I won't. Regardless, I'm a jack of all trades and I should be totally set when the zombie apocalypse hits. I forgot to mention how good I am with weaponry and common sense...and writing horror movies.
and ranting. I'm extra good at ranting.
Ok, That's it.
Maybe I'll figure it out by the end of the day.
Maybe I won't.
Maybe I'll start a new enterprise where all of those things get done at once by yours truly.
Maybe I won't.
I think I like this "everything" thing...at least I'll never be boring.
Oh, By the way....What do you do?