#thewafflecat4

[scrawl-your-heart-out]

I just came to say I saw the word "arms dealer" in one of your prompts and pictured a person selling severed human arms okay bye

i,,, suppose,, that could work as a prompt too

[bmcheadcanons]

be more chill elementary school/childhood headcanons

>Jeremy was really into space as a kid and got his whole ceiling and part of his wall decked out with those plastic glow stars, and never took them down when he got older because he still thought they were cool >Though Michael was mostly ignored throughout school, he was actually pretty well known on the elementary school playground for being that mysterious kid that somehow had all the rare Pokemon cards, not just your standard holographic charizard, but ones that went out of print in the 90’s, ones that were never released outside of Japan, and even some of the special edition cards that there were only like 10 of in the world that sold for like thousands of dollars on the market. No one knew where he got them, but he definitely had a reputation as the mysterious pokemon card kid. He also had a reputation as the one kid that actually knew how to play the fucking game. >Michael also had tons of silly bands, glowsticks and slap bracelets and was the neighborhood silly band, glowstick and slap bracelet dealer >Rich had a Sailor Moon backpack for 4th through 6th grade >Michael gave Jeremy a pet hedgehog named Miles Hedgeworth for his 12th birthday, who is still a beloved pet to this day. Jeremy wanted to name him Sonic Daddy. Michael didn’t let him. >Jeremy went through a HUGE warrior cats phase in the beginning of middle school. he had like 50 OCs, had read all (and i mean ALL) the books, watched every shitty MAP, and wrote self insert fanfiction of him and Michael as cats. Michael always made fun of him for it, though he had read a couple of the books himself and found them pretty cool, even making an OC that he never used. >In 2nd grade Jake would shoplift buckets worth of toys from the dollar store and then sell them to kids on the playground for 5-10 bucks apiece and come home with a small profit, sometimes amounting to hundreds of dollars every day. eventually his parents found out and got mad at him and he cried a lot and vowed never to steal again. >Rich was ridiculed for being the kid that would always wet the mat during naptime in kindergarten >Rich and Jake were best friends from kindergarten through elementary school, but started to drift apart around middle school when Jake became a “popular kid.” Rich eventually became his friend again once he got his squip and tried to resume from where they left off but Jake acted like he never knew him. Jake now denies this ever happened or pretends to have forgotten because he feels really guilty about it inside >Rich wanted to be a firefighter as a kid (sorry not sorry) >Also Rich was kindergarten boyfriend to both Brooke and Christine, though he was once caught kissing Michael, both giggling, in the closet during nap time >Jeremy broke his arm rollerskating at Jake’s birthday party and cried so much that he never put on rollerskates again >Brooke would always be at the edge of the playground picking flowers and she would keep them proudly on her desk throughout the day, though they always looked like shit by the time she got home >Chloe had 11 different boyfriends during the 4th grade year sometimes multiple at a time, each one of the relationships ending in tears >Jenna was friends with EVERYONE. like she would always go around and talk to everyone at recess, make drawings of them, talk about turtles and gossip about Chloe’s boyfriends, etc. She knew the name of every kid in their grade and what they all liked and who they all liked and basically everything about them and would always invite them to every party >Christine was NOT allowed to have sugar because of one time at christmas she ate an entire bag of candy canes and was found crying at the top of the roof with a rope, a christmas hat, and her cat. >Christine and Jenna were best friends and would start clubs that everyone in their grade could join, make flower crowns for the other kids, braid the girls hair, paint people’s faces, and were just known as the nice girls that made things fun >Christine wrote positive messages and drew hearts and kittens in the bathroom stalls, something she still does to this day. >Brooke and Chloe actually had a great relationship in kindergarten and would openly give each other hugs and even kisses on the cheek I can probably think of more but thats all for now

[bmcheadcanons]

Doughy Love OwO

Ever since Jeremy was a young twink, he had an obsession with bread. Something about it just… aroused him. The fluffy texture of it, the delectable smell of a freshly baked loaf, and the fucking TASTe. It was just… exhilirating. His favorite kind of bread was light, fluffy bread. So light and so fluffy that he could lay down on it as a comfortable mattress, if he were 6 inches tall. He loved bread so much that he created a bread community on google plus, with only two other members: Michael, who joined out of pity, and some weirdo named Tad Strange. He was a bread boi. Bread was his favorite body pillow. He would lie in bed with the bread at night and stroke it, moaning softly at the naughty bread-related fantasies he had. One night, he decided to act upon these fantasies. He opened his asshole and shoved an entire slice of bread up his ass. Moaning filled the room. “B-BONE ME BREAD DADDY!~ YOU’RE MY BIG LOAF!” His husband Jared, who was watching vine compilations in the other room, didn’t hear him over the loud cronchy sound of his bathbomb snack. The next day, Jeremy went about life as usual. Have a heated discussion about memes with Jared, vore a bread sandwich, watch bread porn while rubbing his nipples and moaning with delight, and go on his morning jog to run away from the existential terror of the void. Of course, the running was pointless since the reign of the void was inevitable, but it was fun to do anyway. Halfway through his existentially worthless jog, he collapsed on the ground, suddenly feeling short of breath. He looked down and was surprised to see he was a lot fatter than normal, which was weird, since he had been on an all bread diet. He shrugged it off and went to sleep. SUDDENLY THE SWUIP APPERED IN HIS DREAM!!! “Squid!? What are you doing heere!? I don’t like you, nasty stinky stink computer smh!!!” Jeremy shouted. “Yo you’re pregnant.” The evil computer daddy said. Suddenly, Jeremy woke up. WHAT COULD IT MEAN!?!?!!? The next day, he approached Jared in the kitchen. “Jared, I have something to tell you.” “What, are you gay!?” Jared pretended to act shocked. “No- well, yes, but… Jared, I’m… pregananant.” Jared let out le gasp. “Is it mine?” Jeremy looked nervously at his feet. “Well… No. It’s actu-” Jared cut him off, tears in his eyes. “JEREMY I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU CHEATED ON ME!!! I’M BREAKING UP WITH YOU!!!” Jeremy was about to respond, but felt sudden pain and passed out. He woke up in a hospital. “Jeremy, I would like you to meet your son.” The doctor said, holding up a slice of bread. Jeremy looked at his son, tears in his eyes. It was white bread, as white and soft as he was. “He’s… beautiful. I’m gonna make him… Micha-” he was cut off by Jared. “No, fuvk you. You cheated on me, at the very least you could let me name the baby. His new name is Evantron. I was gonna make him Evan, but to be honest he looks more like a Megatron. Now, if you excuse me, I’m gonna leave with my son.” He picked up the slice of bread and left. And then he woke up to find Evan sleeping next to him. He sighed. “Am I really so unsatisfied with this marriage that I dreamed about marrying a man with a bread fetish? …eh. I’ve had worse boyfriends.”

(This is the single worst thing anyone has ever sent in.)