|| TheWorldHasntChanged || HydrasGhost || Open To Others Also!
Bucky struggled to comprehend the magnitude of what he’d done, not to mention found himself wishing he hadn’t been compromised - And that was extreme, even for him. He had so many questions, so many things he needed answering because all of a sudden it had became apparent that he’d lived two completely different lives. His memories were returning slow, painfully slow. He had no place to stay, no one to turn to. Hydra was gone as far as he knew, and the world was different to the one he’d previously known.
Hydra had kept him under control, and in a way he wished he’d stayed that way. He may have been completely used, abused and treated as anything but human; but with Hydra, he didn’t have to worry. All he had was the next mission, and that’s what kept him alive.
But now everything was different, and he struggled with even the ambient sounds of the city as he tried to get as many memories of New York back as he could, try to find who he was. But even the slam of a cab door, or the beeps of horns in the rush hour and the shouting voices of road raged drivers hit him. Normal sounds to some people made him breathless, unable to breath and having to run into the nearest back alley to take time out.
Flashes of memories - not an entire memory, but seconds, moments filled his mind and he couldn’t concentrate. He couldn’t assess situations, couldn’t analyse people. Bucky was no longer the man he used to be, nor was he currently anything like The Winter Soldier. He was on edge, paranoid, scared and confused. Even the fear of being recognised by someone played at the back of his mind. What would happen to him if he was caught?
He pulled himself over to lean against a building, taking in deep breaths as he cried to calm himself. “One… Two… Three… One… Two… Three…”
