Making each other better at this comes with a price
Why is everyone operating under the assumption that Carmy "escapes", "runs away", etc, outta fear of facing his own actions, and Syd is not operating from fear? They always mirror each other, and they have the same traits, only expressed differently because of their different backgrounds and psychological makeups, that´s all.
Syd is definitely coming from a place of fear and insecurity and lack of self confidence and she even said it herself at some point too. They both admitted their shortcomings and both vowed to work on them, remember? The only difference is that now they won´t be working on them together (that´s yet to be seen) because Carmy feels he has to walk this part of his healing journey alone and, truth be told, he has the right to- That being said, he 100% should have told her that before changing the agreement and for that only he deserves to be sooo punished lolol! I can´t believe she went so lightly on him, she clearly adores the guy. But other than that lack of honesty (which is COMPLETELY unacceptable BUT totally understandable because he didn´t tell anyone so no one could try to change his mind, especially Syd who he knows is the ONLY ONE WHO COULD) what he chose is valid and should be respected as any valid choice a person makes to get better or at least to not make things even worse, as damage control. But my point is: Why do you think Syd is not operating under the fear of not being good enough to manage The Bear? And that is not exactly the whole point of the drama, not Carmy, but Syd and how this can benefit her primarily (even when she doesn´t see it that way) and Carmy secondarily with his workaholism. Which is to say: mutually but in this very fucked up way. Thanks, sadist.
Why are only Carmy´s shadow aspects the ones that most ppl see? Why the love for Syd has to blindfold ppl and not let them see her by who she truly is, with her fears and shortcomings included, and love her anyway, unconditionally?
Emotions can co-exist and often do. Humans are THAT complex, and the more complex the characters are, the more human and interesting they look. So I embrace it, not just because I love realistic takes but also for entertainment purposes and because that kind of art or media are the only kinds I love to consume.
Like I said, Syd is coming from a place of fear too (also disappointment, ofc) when she says: "You are supposed to fucking be here". Yes, she´s saying she doesn´t wanna do it alone, she wants to do it with him, which is what we know since S2 (under the table moment of truth), sure. Yes, she feels hurt by perceiving him bailing on her, yet again, absolutely, and none of that means she´s not also operating on her own impostor syndrome level of "I fuck things up" (under the table moment of truth). She doesn´t think herself capable of not fucking up unless she he´s there with her because, and I quote: "he´s the best in the world, the fact that he wants to work with me is low-key an honor". And I will die on the hill that when Syd was describing the "energitically musty house" to TJ, she was also talking about the Big Brother of that house, not just the restaurant. So all those beautiful things she said about how that house on a good day gives her "the best feeling in the world", were also about how Carmy makes her feel sometimes, on good days. Carmy wants to have more of those and doesn´t know how. He´s basically trying whatever he can think of to get more good days and get that good feeling himself, and he thinks he won´t get any of that at a restaurant. He´s allowed to change his mind, and Syd is too; they are both scared, and they are both doing things for the right reasons.
BTW, those things I mentioned come from an episode Ayo Edibiri wrote herself, and I´m positive she knows her character better than I, TYVM.
Carmy is fucking up trying to do good, as usual, and Syd gets hurt by his fuck ups because she´s the closest person to him. They are intertwined. And that´s part of the risk of being in a relationship and letting ppl in, that closeness, that intimacy, makes you vulnerable and you might get hurt by the other person, even if they don´t mean to hurt you, and vice versa. That´s why emotional avoidance is a self-defense mechanism a lot of ppl resort to. Syd does too to self-protect, which means out of fear. But she loves Carmy so much that she can´t fence him out enough. He always gets to her, no matter how hard she tries to keep him emotionally at arm's length. You can´t choose who you love or how much you love them; it either happens or it doesn't. And the intensity at which it happens when it does is not customizable either. And it comes with risks, bad days, good days, awful days, and yes, sometimes it ends. And that is it. Now, I don´t think it ended in their case, actually. I think it´s just getting started TBH.
Back to her fear: With Carmy gone, she will have to tap into her fear of "fucking up again", like she fucked up with Sheridan (I don´t think she did but she experienced it as her own personal failure) and by doing that she will overcome her fear, her insecurities, she will heal her impostor syndrome because she can´t do that with Carmy there, she has to do it on her own, it´s a part of the path she has to walk alone too, just like him. I´m not saying that she can´t be part of a team, but her fear of not being good enough, that is rooted deep inside her, will be gone once she proves she can indeed do it without Carmy, even if that´s not what she wants. And I´m pretty sure she will win a star in the process.
There´s always the chance that Syd will open up and say the words she knows she chose not to say during the fight and that IMO could be a game changer for Carmy, so he will stay and they will win the star together and she will have to work on her impostor syndrome in a different way, maybe even going to therapy, which is also something Ayo mentioned she would like her character to start doing because she thinks Syd needs it.
My point is that fear is not foreign for either, Carmy and her are scared shitless and affecting the other with their fears.
And they both have to overcome them, and in the process, they might hurt each other and themselves. Growing pains are real, and when you function as a system, even a dysfunctional one, nothing you go through or do, or don´t do, won´t affect the rest of the system.
Sydcarmy is a system (the primary one), the family they raised at that restaurant is a system, and their respective blood ties are a system. The whole show is about overcoming trauma and evolving as a part of a system and how all components of it affect each other, but not always in a good or healthy way and how we can find beauty and healing in that part of the process too, and how we should, because it´s inevitable and ultimately that "ugly" part of the process is what ends up making us better TOO.
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