#sydcarmy meta

[falllpoutboy]

I finally cracked the complex puzzle known as what sydcarmy ACTUALLY is within the canon and context of the show

The relationship between Sydney and Carmy has been talked about, examined and widely interpreted in different ways by almost all fans of the show. This meta isn’t to discourage anyone in how they see sydcarmy but Season five of The Bear has been out for two weeks and having finished it and thought very long and hard on the relationship between Sydney and Carmy throughout all 5 seasons, and what the finale season conveyed and portrayed in regards to it, I have come up with a conclusion that best fits how to define sydcarmy: an implicit romance.

Before I go into the details of this relationship, ask yourself this question, when you think of romantic relationships when you watch movies and TV, what do you picture? Like me, you’ll automatically think of two people expressing grand romantic gestures (giving gifts, going on dates, verbally committing to a relationship), enacting physically intimate scenes (kissing on the lips, sexual relations) and some big emotional confrontation between characters that is verbally expressed. What that is, what we are used to seeing onscreen, are explicit romantic relationships. Think about ross and rachel in friends, carrie and big in sex and the city, harry and sally in when harry met sally and any other movie or tv show with a romantic relationship within it. In the context of The Bear and romance, I think of Tina and David Marrero and Natalie and Pete Katinsky.

Now ask yourself again, when you think of a friendship between characters within a movie or a show, what do you picture? Characters who are friends are consistently there for each other through the good times and the bad, friends talk about both easy and difficult things without much barriers between them and friends always have a clear platonic divide that doesn’t impede on their romantic relationships. Think about any of the core four characters in sex and the city, molly and issa in insecure, jon and sam in game of thrones. In the context of The Bear and friendship, I think of Tina and Ebra, Sydney and Marcus and Marcus and Chester.

In our fandom, I think everyone can agree that Sydney and Carmy’s textual relationship existed outside of the realms of both platonic and explicit romance, never quite veering into either area throughout any and all five seasons of the show. Before season 5, I would’ve defined sydcarmy’s canonical relationship as nebulous and undefinable. In 4x10 Goodbye, we all saw that argument scene and at its peak she tearfully claimed that he’s her (business) partner and he angrily rebutted that he’s her friend. Both assertions fall into the realm of platonic. But both assertions are not true, as Sydney had yet to sign the partnership agreement, which would’ve made them official partners (the show even ends without us even seeing Sydney inking her name on the renegotiated agreement, an argument for another day lol). And his claim on friendship is also false, seeing as they never hung out outside of work, as we saw Sydney and Marcus doing (in s1 at Emmanuel’s apartment after they both quit and in s3 making a dead mom’s pact), fully working out their differences after a brief falling out like Tina and Ebra did (s2 when he came back to The Bear) or being there for each other after a difficult time like Marcus and Chester (s4 the latter took care of the sale of his mother’s house). The show consistently went out of its way to pull out all stops in showing Sydney and Carmy not having a platonic friendship. In season 2, when he makes plans to meet her at a restaurant where they would’ve hung out outside of work, he bails. In season 3, he doesn’t join everyone else they work with at a get-together at Sydney’s apartment. In season 4, he doesn’t join her at her father’s bedside in the hospital and she refuses his request to go with her and be with her. They are not friends and only Sydney is aware of that.

So if the show refused to make Sydney and Carmy’s relationship strictly professional and also refused to make their relationship a platonic friendship, I can only make the well informed hypothesis (based on prior knowledge, the observable evidence provided in The Bear, and relevant comments from the cast and crew) that their relationship is a highly intense, uniquely intimate, implied and implicit romance.

Tvtropes defines an implied love interest as “when one character fills the role of a Love Interest to another character in the narrative, or otherwise has a lot of tropes related to being a Love Interest surrounding them, but nothing explicit in the narrative or from the creators is ever stated on the matter.” Sydney and Carmy are each other’s implied love interest as evidenced by the romantic tropes, textual and subtextual content between them. The actors have chemistry, that’s undeniable, but the way they both acted around each other is unique in that their interactions cannot be replicated with any other character. Here’s some reminders if you need to jog your memory (A, B, C, D, X, Y, Z). That’s the text of the show, that can’t be changed or misinterpreted by anyone.

Subtextually, many of instances where we see romance implied is where interpretations will vary by how someone sees the show. The infamous s2 panic attack scene, where Carmy breaks out of it by picturing pivotal moments of Sydney in his life. The repeated and indisputable fact that Carmy made the best meal of Sydney’s life (reinforced by actually showing us this moment in s3’s premiere episode). The once thought abandoned plot of the cola braised short ribs being reintroduced in s5 to highlight that Sydney made the best meal of Carmy’s life. The original under the table scene, framed and shot like a sex scene. The scene where they met, the plot of season 1 only occurring because they meet. The repeated instanced of Carmy recreating Sydney’s attire on a plate of lamb. The star reveal and subsequent hug scene. These were all pivotal moments that showed us their love for each other, a love that no other character had with anyone else onscreen for the entirety of the show.

Both the critics and viewers have highlighted since the show's inception the uniqueness between Sydney and Carmy. After season one, when asked about their relationship, main writer Joanna Calo replied that a hook up between them was floated but ultimately shot down and the show's creator, Chris Storer replied that their relationship was a “partnership”. TVTropes goes on to further say that “One reason for this trope is in a serial work, it allows the author to gently cover their bums when it comes to either Ship Sinking ("Hey, the ship never set sail in the first place") or Cleaning Up Romantic Loose Ends ("The potential was there from the start"). The writer may state that they Hooked Up Afterwards, or leave it to the reader's imagination. Expect there to be at least some fans who pair the couple up regardless.” Sound familiar?

I want to especially clarify that when sydcarmy became so popular and synonymous with the show (somewhere between s2 and 3), that I think some fans (me included) wanted a clear explicit relationship between them. I would go so far as to say that our wants of explicit romance were known by both cast and crew and were shut down routinely because of the way most romances are portrayed and seen, and they knew that Carmy and Sydney will not kiss, date or be physically intimate onscreen that expresses sexual relations. It is a creative decision that was supported substantially textually and subtextually in the latter three seasons of the show that, for better or worse, solidified the fact that an explicit romance between them was not going to happen.

To conclude, now that season 5 is out and Jeremy himself confirmed there is love between Sydney and Carmy but it is not a romantic partnership, I can only define what they have between them as implied romance and that was the intent from the beginning. It didn’t need to be verbalized and physically expressed onscreen like his relationship with C*****, and it can’t simply be relegated to professional, platonic or familial the way these characters had with others. Sydney loves Carmy. Carmy loves Sydney. That very real but ultimately implicit love exists and is the reason we were invested since the beginning. Their love was written in the margins, indeed.

[endlesslyhyperfixating]

Body language and expression analysis in Sydcarmy phone call

This is just a small clip of the scene itself, but this was when their vocal, facial, and body language and reactions were most telling to me in my opinion. I had to make this.

- they both (mostly Syd) start off really dismissive and not open to vulnerability

- it take says hearing that carm is thinking about HER after she put cl*ires name out there to have let her feel safe enough to be honest in that she loves appreciates him.

- but their FACES y'all it reads CRAZY they are really holding themselves back here. So much is they are WANTING to be said, but they both feel like nothing more is needed to be said in this particular moment.

In short, they both want that cookie real bad

[yannadoesart]

It never fails to amaze me the way Carmy pleads, no, begs Sydney: "stop, stop that" when she is just listing the things that she is sorry that he had to go through.

Something about how Carmy and Claire's relationship seemed so superficial, how she laughs even at the moments he is more vulnerable, like when he talked about his hand injury or when she mocked him in their phone conversation about his anxiety. How much she said she wanted to understand it all, and yet fails to be compassionate or even considerate.

And here is Sydney after all of that, and after all he has put her through, just listing the things she says she doesn't understand, but knows that are awful. She is considerate first and foremost, and even Carmen recognizes it later in the conversation.

But yet, he can't take it; he simply cannot take Sydney seeing all of his suffering and expressing concern and care for him. The man who begged his abuser for a crum of acknowledgment, the man who cried after a whole life of abuse by his mother, the only time she offered some type of accountability. Sydney has not done a single bad thing to him; he calls her his friend, but he cannot take her genuine caring.

[adamuschef]

Sometimes I think Carmy doesn't realise Syd is a real human.

What I mean by this is that I don't think he realises Sydney is a woman that screws up and has desires. That fucks up and fucks people.

Like I'm pretty sure he thinks she is kind of above mortal men or something

One day she is going to walk in with a man who is kind of a basic jerk and Carmy will be like: 'I didn't know that is something you would do' before falling into utter despair

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

Bear hug

That hug told their whole love story.

It contained all those words.

It spoke volumes.

Because THEY ARE THE BEAR.

[soursopsista]

Sydney and Carmy would have so many inside jokes. I just know it

[ambeauty]

thoughts on Sydney’s desire for a soft life

What I love about Sydney is how at her core she is an extremely soft and tender woman. Like yeah she can smoke some world class chefs in the kitchen but she’s deeply caring and all she really wants from others is for them to care for her in the same way she cares for them. But she’s guarded. That care doesn’t come out physically it comes out in her desire to see others reach their full potential. To not want people to harm or disparage Carmy in front of her. To only speak positively even when she could very well say some negative things too.

Her caretaker mentality manifest in a desire to control everything but her desires is that she doesn’t want to have to be in sole control of everything. She wants a partner and she wants connection and she wants to be taken care of. That’s the sole reason why she wants Carmy at the restaurant. She hasn’t been able to fully verbalize this but her actions show us otherwise. She’s often asking him to help her do things that she could easily do herself but she wants to share her life with somebody. She knows that relying on her dad is something that is becoming less and less of an option as he ages has to begin to rely on her. And Carmy wants to be that partner so badly for her but both of them are so afraid that they aren’t worthy of that kind of bond.

Sydney thinks it’s weakness to depend on another person because she’s been alone and her dad has been alone for most of her life. Carmy thinks he’s unable to be dependable because he’s so filled with negative voices and trauma. The soft glimpses we do get to see of her mean so much to me. A character that has literally been through hell and back, mostly at the cause of one misguided individual, still finds even a sliver of hope and trust that this is her person and she might be able to possibly open herself up to the possibility of relying on him to take care of her. And the heartbreak lies in the fact that this is what he thinks he is doing by leaving her. This retirement is going to be a hard “betrayal” to come back from but it will force them to decide if that connection is more than just the shared goal of keeping the bear alive.

[sonoranbumblebee]

SydCarmy physical contact: Are they testing each other? Are they both in on it?

I wonder if they're both playing dumb a little bit, and very much on purpose. They're both jumpy as rabbits around each other, and they both know each other very well, sometimes almost telepathically. So they're checking in with each other. It's an ancient dance or game or ritual. How far can I go before you jump out of your skin and disappear?

So when the one reaches for the other, the trick is to remain as non-reactive as possible (for now). Yes you can be there. Yes you can get that much closer. You want to reach there? Help yourself. I'm going to pretend I don't even notice anything is happening so you don't overcompensate trying to make me comfortable and freak yourself out.

The thing with them is that they're not asking explicitly, which is slightly verboten in this day and age, but they're also telepathic with each other. (It's a TV show let me have this.) They've agreed to at least do this, uh, exploratory work, and see how far they get. They trade off. Maybe they're not even sure that they won't be the one to startle, so it's all as slow as can be, but they are reaching for each other. They're checking to see how long they (and the other one) can stand to be in proximity before their nervous systems panic.

So far it's going well. By the last day of service Carmy dares "inadvertently" grazing Sydney's upper arm with his. She doesn't miss a beat and just keeps chattering along with inconsequential but positive patter about Sweeps, which is how she tells him she's just ducky and he can keep going.

Just for comparison, here they are with some other people they love or trust:

Sweeps and Syd: This is very Carmy body language from Gary with the dropped shoulder and him closest to the door. But there's still like a foot or more between them.

Tina and Carmy: Arm touch and verbal reassurance and eye contact for his beloved Tina, but still like a foot away and she's a stop in between 12 other boss jobs.

Syd and Richie: Embrace over the shoulder, and very close, and praise from bestie Richard, but also she's startled and a little bit recoiling because it's big drive-by physical affection she wasn't expecting. Carmy would never come at her like this, but if he did and she reacted stiffly and wide-eyed like that, there would probably be like a 12-day moratorium on touching before anyone tried anything again.

So the point is, I think maybe Carmy and Sydney have mutually, silently agreed to try to try. Both scared to death inside but they're being as gentle and slow as they can and I'm pretty sure that them being with each other is actually a virtuous cycle that makes them less anxious and sensitive. The trying to try appears to be going pretty well actually.