#theyearofgrowth

[awewakemysoul]

“princesa, quiero decirte algo. y te lo voy a decir en las palabras de mario benedetti... puedes contar conmigo.”

this could be the reel to a last breath | vi

[awewakemysoul]

give, give, give. fight, fight, fight if i say it in 3’s my brain retains. the hussle is strong, and then: we just become a memory... if we are lucky. - “this is an awesome song: i couldn’t think of anyone else that would appreciate it. i think you would:” you are not wrong. i hope i can be a part of the smiles in your future. and when you hear this song again, will you always think of me? - “passion, resilience.. your hands are so soft” there were too many years when i felt so alone, in the shadows. they changed me, i think. took my wholesomeness, my voice. “the past can be a beast, i can hear you” - what is a soul? c'mon, give me your medical definition. “do i need a drink for this conversation? you don't want that definition” just tell me. “........” fuck that. do you really believe that? - “you are an unconcious empath” i am many things i dont understand. - plant shadows are like paintings, i’m sure someone discovered that already. “your language is beautiful” - how about the spirit? what is a spirit? - this could be the reel to a last breath | ii

[awewakemysoul]

that day, last june, before you were leaving the house, you hugged me tight. and as you pulled me closer, when you said “well, i will not see you again”

i quickly unwrapped myself from your embrace, to look into your eyes.

i fell silent.

you saw my reaction and quickly picked up your purse as if it was your cross to carry.

but you see, i have always been keen to energy, to words, and i think you knew this.

you told me “te quiero mucho, mucho” and “those plants grow out of tree trunks in azua”

(is your time coming up or mine? i wondered.)

now we know.

[awewakemysoul]

“sometimes i think you are this way and this melancholia that overtakes you is because when you were in my womb: i was going through a depression...”

i am stunned. not sure i could ever look at him the same. let me wipe your tears and know that none of it is your fault. that some of us are just not of this world.

do you think someday i will have a similar conversation with my plants when they begin to wilt?

this could be the reel to a last breath | iii

[awewakemysoul]

mumford and my hand.

his leaf: has a hole, and don’t we all? this body: the vessel of our souls in this world. i find myself having way too many reflections on how momentary life is, and too many instances throughout the days feel like, like- they could be the last. i am not certain this is normal, i am not certain what this is.

[awewakemysoul]

detalles. i think you need spring, i think we need spring. maybe it holds the answer.

[awewakemysoul]

4am run insomnia continues to romance me. not a second of sleep, not one second. though being in warmer weather has not cured the whatever is going on in the seas of the soul, it certainly helps to have the option to shock the senses. got out and ran to greet the pacific in all its mysterious glory, salt on my lips and that smell, that smell, that smell of the ocean that renews me as the night became morning. • • 🎧 “Yo tengo el aire que respiro y el mar todito para mi amores viejos y suspiros y si alguien dice no, yo si” Ricardo Arjona - lo poco que tengo • the day thus far is mostly made up of coffee. • • #ithealsme #forgottostretch #theyearofgrowth #california (at Monterey, California)