I was tagged by the darling thiefqueeen
I did the make 10 more and tag on the last one so I’ll skip that part.
1. Do you prefer rain or sunshine?
Rain, as long as its not too often. Rain can be so magical.
2. If you were stranded on an island, what would you take with you?
My snarky answer to this has always been a boat with a full tank of gas and a GPS system. But okay, let’s say a tent, all the Tolkien books, my DVD collection (is there electricity? if so then LAPTOP), campfire food, notebooks for writing.
3. What is your favorite hobby?
Cooking and baking, horseback riding (which I’ll probably never do for many many years if ever again), fashion and makeup, trying to write and failing.
4. Do you like to read? What is your favorite book?
I do! I love a good number of books but for this I’ll pick the first thing that popped into my head and that’s The Knife of Never Letting Go series.
5. If you could say one thing to your future self, what would you say?
Mostly I would be wanting to ask her questions. Are you safe? Are you happy? Does it ever get easier? Does it ever stop hurting this much to be me? Do I end up alone, and do I really want to know the answer to that? What do you regret that I can still change?
6. What shows did you like in the 90′s?
Oh man, childhood. I was really into Gargoyles, the original Power Rangers, Star Trek Voyager, Friends. I’m sure there were others, I just can’t remember them well.
7. Who is your favorite person and why? (celebrity)
Favorite celebrity is between Lana Parrilla and Mira Furlan. Lana because she is so bubbly, has such an infectious personality, and truly seems to care about the fans. We matter to her. She goes the extra mile and its evident. She has this beautiful authenticity about her. I think she’s a source of encouragement and inspiration. I just can’t help but smile with her. She’s just the type of person who I want to be best friends with.
And Mira because of her entire life story. I was completely floored when I found out and heard her talk about it in interviews. I just can’t imagine going through what she did, making the choices she made and standing up for her principles when she was under such tremendous pressure to back down, she never did. She took a stand against hatred and war even though it made her a refugee from her own country. I can’t imagine being as brave as she was. Her wisdom and her soft-spoken manner is really powerful. I admire her so much. She has a remarkably beautiful soul. And today’s her birthday!
8. Favorite song and what it means to you?
Ooooh, that’s a toughie. I don’t know if I have a singular favorite song ever. But let’s go with one that’s really meaningful to me: “Tears and Laughter” by Tall Tree 6ft Man (off the Bones soundtrack). For me it’s about what is left of you when everything is gone: your security, your home, your happier times. Especially the last one. It’s the feeling of being so separate from everyone else in the world. It’s about giving you permission to feel all those things and hurt fully, but also the hope that even with all your hurt and brokenness someone will take you as you are and see you as worth caring about, as their everything [“After all the tears and all the laughter/Your happiness is a string of disasters/Oh, what more could someone ask for?]. It is honest and doesn’t give false promises about things getting better [“No one’s gonna come along and line your palms with gold/And if they did you would unfold/And if they did you’d be wrong to take it”] but what it does do - the turn at the end that really gets me every time - is that the good times don’t really leave us [“Still on all the walls we have reminders/Of the times we left behind us/Now all your words are silence”] and for some reason I find that incredibly comforting.
It’s about how joy and pain are tied and how they move one into the other and all together make you. You can just be. Hurt, happy, separate from the world, unraveling and having something or someone to unravel into. You don’t have to say anything, you can just be and remember and melt into that gorgeous, haunting piano melody.
9. Do you have any pets? What are their names?
No pets. I used to have a cat named Rita long ago.
10. Are you having a good day? Did you smile? :D
It’s been okay I guess. Mostly studying and working on side projects. I did run into a girl I met at orientation in the Starbucks which was really nice. But I’m still wrangling with difficult thoughts and feelings and all this bleakness in me. It’s not all bad. I am happy and I did smile. Nothing’s really wrong the way it was before, so I don’t know why I’m not shaking this.