So, as I've taken this past week to process through the ups and downs of the past month, I came across this verse: “We are merely moving shadows, and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it.” - Psalms 39:6 (NLT) I came to the realization that walking out of the internship I craved the business I had while in it. The problem comes in that I traded structured business with built in times to rest for chaotic business that consumed all my time. I told myself I'd stick it out until November. I told myself I'd be social again in November. I'd join a small group in November. I'd do this and that, but only in November. I even, unintentionally, was beginning to put God on hold until November, trying to convince myself I had it all under control and could do it all on my own. I had my plan and I'd prayed about it, but I didn't listen for the answer and it wasn't in God's will. It took me literally crashing into another person to realize my life was crashing down around me. My priorities were on the back burner and so was God. Last week shook me up, but left me realizing that my God is bigger than anything and more important than anything else in my life. The Bible says He'll provide for me, and He has so many times, but I was working like He never had before. So, part of me is glad it happened, because it was a wake up call to fix my eyes back on Jesus and to focus on getting to the place He has called me to. Long story short, through it all, God is good. God is in control and He will provide financially, relationally, spiritually, and emotionally if I'll only trust in Him and let Him do His thing and not try to do it all on my own.
