#things that kill

[eden-blake]

Fernweh

/ˈfɛʁnveː/ • German

(n.) a far sickness or longing for unseen places

[eden-blake]

— E.M. Blake, Things That Kill

[eden-blake]

Sehnsucht

/ˈzānˌzo͝oKHt/ • German

(n.) a feeling of longing for something unknown and indefinite

[eden-blake]

A Letter

“Sometimes we don’t catch what’s sitting right in front of us. Maybe it’s too good to be true for our skeptical minds. Maybe it’s too much for our hearts to take. Maybe it’s already been taken. We don’t take these risks because there is too much to lose if we take the leap. We might fall and die, or worse yet, live with the disappointment of not having reached the other side. So you live forever with the ‘what if.’ What if I’d taken the leap. What if I’d spoken. What if . . . .

But they say life’s too short to dwell on that. Too short to cry. Too short for anything but screaming and flying. There’s not enough time to do what we want. There isn’t enough courage to love.

So we go on, carrying all that we didn’t say on our backs like a great heavy pack. We fight our wars with it. We sleep with it. We die with it. It kills us before the bullets do. These are the things that kill. The ones we don’t say. The ones we don’t let fly.”

—E.M. Blake, Things That Kill

[eden-blake]

Faded Glory

I still hold onto things that are no more

The friendships, the crushes, the love

When will I learn that it’s futile.

They’re no more

Part of me still has hope

I can’t cope

I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders. Atlas, take away the pain.

When did you stop holding the world?

I still look at him and sigh.

This is stupid, I try to convince myself, and it is.

Life is too short.

Let go, let go.

Allow me to let go.

[eden-blake]

It feels like an insult to my identity to prefer one place over the other. But they all carry sentimental value. There are things I’ll never get used to and things I refuse to like. Of all the places I’ve been and all the people I’ve met and all the things I’ve done, I’m starting to forget and I’m afraid.

[eden-blake]

Then, I looked into your eyes and realized that we would always be some sort of sad.