So, I know Momma's been a li'l morbid this week, kiddies--but this was so weird to not share.
Fagilyu Mukhametzyanov, from Russia, lay in her open coffin at her funeral, while her loved ones eulogized her... and she woke the hell up. For realzies, yo: her eyes opened, living and all, and the family--zoom--rushed her to the hospital.
Sadly, the apparent shock of waking up during her own funeral killed the poor lady.
So.
I mean . . . THANK GOD SHE WOKE UP BEFORE THE PUT HER IN THE GROUND. CAN YOU FLIPPIN IMAGIN, KIDS?
I mean I've been dead 84 years, but I was dead when they buried me, OK? Waking up in some stank coffin is not cool, unless a 1970s Christopher Lee or one of his Vampire brides is lying next to me ready to werq it out for a few millennia.
Which makes me think: that the old, common theory that the phrase "dead ringer" comes from an old tradition of burying a deader with a string attached to a bell isn't actually true--but maybe you should make that shit happen, kids. Yow. Just sayin'.
More and more reasons for me not to be reincarnated yet.
Damn.
And I was so hoping to do that.
No, not to make a "comeback." I hate that word...
It's a return.......