#thingsiheard

[ijustliketoscream]

one time i was at chilli’s and the person at the table behind me said

“do you think jacob’s gay?”

i almost choked on my lemonade

[lunchconversations]

Overheard

E:my boobs are out and OH MY GOD THERE IS WIND IN MY TITS. 

E:...

E: It’s cold.

[lunchconversations]

Overheard

A: can you strangle a person without killing them?

B: You shouldn’t hurt people at all. whether they die or not it is still wrong.

C-at the same time:Kinky.

[lunchconversations]

Overheard

E:i’m understand your squirrel.

T:Explain. 

E:You know those dogs from the movie Up? Like when they all see a squirrel? We both see the same squirrel that distracts us from whatever we are talking about, so when you randomly say something without any context or point something out without any actual indication as to what it is i still know what you are talking about because i understand your squirrel. SQUIRREL THEORY.

[lunchconversations]

Overheard

A: I would like an extra, extra, extra small fry, like take a small fry and just throw most of the fries away. And... Are your cheeseburgers vegan? I want a vegan cheeseburger and uh... can i get an extra large diet caffeine free uncarbonated sprite? And i want a 21 piece chicken nugget but can you just take some of all of the sauces and drizzle it over them? I would really appreciate it. And i need two straws, six forks, three knives, and a spoon. 

Alright, if this chick wasn’t just joking around with her friend and we had actually been at an arbys i would have slapped her for the poor lady taking her order.

[lunchconversations]

Overheard

T:I hate to break it to ya sweatheart, but... uh, you sound kinda like a serial killer.

M:Sometimes you gotta be like that for money.

[lunchconversations]

Overheard

A:I had shit to do this weeked!

B:Yeah! ME!

...

C:Odd flex but okay.

[lunchconversations]

Overheard

T:I can’t tell if she fell or if that was just another dramatic flop but i am scared.