#thingsthehusbandsays

[lovetocake]

Don't feel screwed over, there's mainly socks and underwear in the wash - sorry I'll help you dry them!

Husband 

[askthem-tellthem-makethem]

Me: “You’re asleep, put your tablet down.”

Husband: *half asleep* “You are the suppressor of inanimate objects. The spoons and forks you put away will testify against you, that you segregate them. You’ll only have yourself to blame. This tablet has earned its spot on me.”

Me: O.o da fuck???

[askthem-tellthem-makethem]

Watching Harry Potter with the husband.

Harry - "I'll tell you one thing Voldemort doesn't have..." *leading into "Friends".

Husband - "A nose. He better hope he never needs glasses."

[unfuckyourhabitat]

Dingy white cotton shirts, and adding bleach to laundry detergent doesn't seem to quite make the hoped-for difference. Any miracle whitening suggestions?

Not bleach! Bleach is way more likely to turn stains yellow than to whiten your whites (bleach turns protein stains yellow rather than removing them). Try something like OxiClean instead.

[unfuckyourhabitat]

Not a question, but also not a thing the husband says, so: The husband and I recently moved and, on the last night in our apartment, I sent the husband to bed because he was driving the next day, and then I realized the ENTIRE FUCKING KITCHEN needed to be cleaned. But instead of getting overwhelmed, I thought, "How many 20/10s will this take?" When I realized the answer was, "Less than four," it felt manageable! Before UfYH, I would've dissolved in tears. Instead, I OWNED the kitchen wipe-down!

[unfuckyourhabitat]

Two questions: (1) When you say to pour cleaner in the toilet bowl each night, what sort of cleaner should I use? Especially if I hypothetically have a really fucked up toilet? (2) I have a horrible shower/bathtub and I need unfucking help: First, the drain doesn't work, so I can't fill it up with water. Second, it's one of those old bathtubs that's sort of texturized, so when I tried to use a magic eraser, the eraser fell apart and the tub remained filthy. Any suggestions?

(1) Whatever's handy. All-purpose cleaner OR bleach OR vinegar OR fucking dish soap if you want. (Just one, though. Don't mix.) Leave it overnight and give it a scrub and a flush in the a.m.

(2) Get your drain fixed. Until then, you need a bucket with hot water and soap, and a stiff scrub brush. Then have at it, Cinderella-style.