Who am I Responsible for? (And who is Responsible for Me?)
For my sister, who has been on a long healing journey from trauma, and who is now learning to live in the light. I am so very proud of you. ❤️
Learning to Live In the Light.
Wounds change us. They make us selfish. And when our wounds are being healed, we often seek to undo the damage these wounds have created and try to be a blessing to people who have been where we are coming out of. But when we lack the necessary perspective and wisdom, this ‘wanting to be a blessing’ can become a stumbling block to our own healing journey.
And when we have begun to make necessary stands, putting boundaries in place with the people who were allowed into our lives through the open doors created by our insecurities, the strongholds controlling those people can turn on us, creating havoc in our lives. This is simply because, in our immaturity, we lack experience to truly understand what it really costs to be free.
Freedom doesn’t come free. First and foremost, Jesus has paid the price for our freedom from sin and death on the cross of Calvary, but we are responsible for our decisions, including the single-most important decision of receiving his gift of salvation. Once we receive his gift of salvation, a second gift is added as the Holy Spirit takes up residence in our life.
Additionally, we must be prepared to shoulder responsibility for the consequences our decisions have produced. Very often, we consider the condition we find ourselves in, and are tempted to shift blame to others for their role in our predicament, rather than owning our decisions. This is a major factor in our ability to grow and mature. A person who can’t or won’t take responsibility for their lives cannot be built upon. Taking ownership and responsibility for our decisions is the necessary building block to our success and freedom; without it, we would never grow nor mature. Babies are only bottle fed until they are able to eat solid food, and they are only carried until they can walk. So it is with people coming out of wounds. We must learn to live free, but within the boundaries of what is safe for us as we mature, and that is never automatic.
An eagle, brought up with chickens, has no idea it can fly, simply because it has never flown. Yet it is created for flight, and once it is taught to fly, the sky's the limit.
God never expects us to journey alone. Once we have received Jesus’ gift of salvation and the Holy Spirit, also called the Helper, has come to live in us, we are never alone. He doesn’t expect us to face difficult decisions alone, always guiding us in all wisdom. But sometimes, we are so set on living our way, that we either forget to seek him for wisdom and direction, or we expect him to follow along, and only seek him when we fall in a pit. The amazing thing about our God is that he already knows what we are like, always going astray, and yet he is ever faithful to bring us back and dust us off, encouraging us to try again.
Those that are further along their journey often get in a rut, forgetting the fundamentals of cause and effect. Sometimes, it's time to return to basics and make the necessary decisions to get the desired outcomes.
Let’s face it. Terrible things happen to good people who never did anything to deserve what befell them. But, on the other hand, too many of us careen through life, completely oblivious to the consequences that await the poor decisions we are making, simply because we assume that that our feelings are a good guide for our lives. If it feels good, engage your brain, ask the Helper for wisdom, and start considering consequences before you do it, and you will have a much better chance of succeeding in your life.