Saw somewhere on here about Remmick being ur ex and like.. ugh imagine?? UGHHHH 1000% need that. But he would be sooooo annoying dude cause 1) he can’t fucking die.. so u could be 80 and he would still harass you years later and 2) he’s actually a d1 rage baiter.. AND pussy talker dude like he’s not out here to play about some munching.
1000000000% would be the kind of ex that randomly hits you up at night.. like those raunchy texts men send like “I miss you baby.. and that fine ass you got lemme come on over and pound that thing straight.”
Like shit like that. But guys this is the 1930’s so they didn’t speak like that.. lolz just kidding they probably did LMAOOO.
Remmick.. being the freak he is would probs show up every night, cocky smile in place like he knows something you don’t.. and he probably does. He would be POSED the FUCK UP outside of your door, leaned just outside the threshold, unable to get inside. Since you guys broke up (kinda.. honestly the whole thing was messy so you can’t even say you broke up if u weren’t even in a relationship to begin with) you completely revoked his ability to come back inside. Told him “FUCK YOU, YOU’RE NOT WELCOMED INSIDE” and kicked him out.. soooo he’s been sorta just lingering outside your door. Like a literal bum.
He may not be allowed inside but that doesn’t mean he can’t fuck with you. He’ll say filthy shit ALL the time, I promise dude. Outside that door? The things he says would make the devil blush, like, “Why don’t ya’ lemme’ on in.. can fix this whole mess up between us. Fuck it out like rabbits, what ya’ say?” “Darlin’ I can smell ya from ere’, bet she misses me. How bout you lift that skirt.. and let me greet er’?” “I won’t bite, I promise. Hell.. I’ll stick my tongue in, get ya’ real nice and wet. Do that thing ya’ like.. where I trace my name? Yeah..”
And like he’s ur ex so u SHOULD be disgusted by this.. buttttt we all know ur ass is one more comment away from running outside, straight to him. BUT BE STRONG. BE STRONG.
Please omg be strong dude. Which.. is hard cause GOD FORBID you try to move on. One night, you bring home someone, all giggly and happy, kissing and stripping each other’s clothes off. You fuck quick and rough, something to get the tension and weight of Remmick out of ur system. Something to forget him. By morning, when the sun is jussssstttt about to come up, in like an hour or so, the person u brought home decides to leave. Right at dusk. And ofc you either forget or don’t think Remmick would have known about this.
I want to make it known that you WOULD 100% believe he would DO something about it.. you know he’s right on his words and promises. And he did say something along the lines of “If you bring someone home.. I promise, their time on earth would be no longer from that point on” some ominous shit. But because he isn’t around tonight, you think he doesn’t know. But he does, ohhhhh and he’s fucking pissed. Cause you let in this fucking rando??? But NOT HIM??? The MINUTE they leave, he’s snatching them right fucking up. Flies high in the sky and rips their throat out, doesn’t even turn them. Doesn’t want to. Just straight up kills them.
He doesn’t have time then to go ur door but he does have time in the evening. So he shows up, no longer bloody cause that would be a little fucked and he wants to be presented nice. But he’s upset, obviously. Shows up with an attitude, “Didn’t know ya’ were inviting folks in”
“I’m not.”
“Right.. and that person earlier was just-“
He pauses upon seeing you halt, sees the blood drain from your face. He smiles then, “Yeah.. didn’t think I knew about that now did you?”
And he would be mean and weird about it cause he’s been here for forever and I highly doubt he cares about filters anymore.. especially when it comes to you. Cause like.. you’ve seen each naked, spoke softly to each other before, traced each other’s flesh with your fingers, made promises in the dark. Promises about loving each other, pushing aside differences. Sweet nothings and small coos. You’ve seen each other. Know each other.
Also you’ve licked his balls so like wtf should he be hiding.
“I could smell ya’ on him. Slathered all over.. you think-“ he gives a scoffed laugh, “think I’m just gonna leave this? Leave you? No darlin.. no that ain’t what’s happening here. Even when you hurt me I still come crawling’ back.. what’s that say, huh?”
“That you lack dignity-“
“No. No. That I love you. Really love you.”
You stop trying to move on.. not because you really don’t want to (you don’t want to but you can’t admit that to urself, coward) but because he won’t stop killing them. Won’t stop ripping their throat out and leaving dead bodies not even buried. Just ripped. Open wounds, laid on the floor. This is him rage baiting btw.. which works because you get fucking pissed off at his lack of remorse. Lack of mercy, and he’s happy to get you outside.. even tho u immediately run back inside upon seeing him.
He’s still really scary okay?
There are like four stages.. actually idk but there are stages to a break up AND stages to Remmick getting you back. Before this, before him showing up to your door and stuff.. he started with leaving things behind. Small ‘sorry’ gifts. Flowers, jam (like strawberry jam.. why? Cause ur sweet like it AWWW) , fucking gold coins. Literally anything. Now.. what is he sorry for? Whyyy did u leave him? Kinda? Because he left first. Randomly got up one night, said nothing and just left, for three weeks. And that fucking hurt.. really really hurt. And when he came back all he said was that he was trying to hunt. But for THREE WEEKS? You’re convinced he’s doing something else.. maybe someone else? But like how tf would u know he’s a literal ancient monster born from the grave so.
Anyway.. now ur on the final stages. Where he’s basically pleading you every night to take him back. That he fucked up, next time he’ll just take you along on a hunt. Cause he wants you there, even tho ur not a vampire he still wants u around him. Also cause he’s gonna change you eventually
He tells you he loves you, that he always has and forever will. Even if you don’t take him back.. well he’ll love you still then. And if you get married, have a family, he’ll still stalk you. Still haunt you. Like a god damn ghost and he WONT leave.
Because he really does love you.
Ya know those corny videos of people outside of home’s with those sound boxes or wtv.. holding it up in the rain. That’s him LMAOOO. But not with a sound boxes just his own fucking voice. He’ll sing the songs you remember from childhood, sing the lullabies your mother cooed at you whenever you felt antsy. Scared. He’ll sing you Irish folk songs. Literally anything, just outside. Soft spoken and gentle. Not even loud so you can’t really complain about the noise.
But he’ll keep doing that.
And when you take him back.. yes WHEN. I know you guys.. ur gonna take that man back, I’m not STUPIDDDDD, he’ll be an actual parasite.
He’ll not only fuck you like he’s going to die tomorrow.. but he’ll never leave the fucking house. For a good while.. until he gets hungry but even then he’s hesitant. He gets the urge to chomp down on some flesh mid way through giving you back shots.
The room smells like actual sex, tangy, sweaty. He’s soaked to the bone with sweat, so are you. His dick is quite literally allllll the way in, hitting that special place that makes you spasm and force your hand back to try and push him away. He’s whispering how he’s never gonna leave, that this is it. He’s done roaming the earth looking for something more.. cause YOU are the more (that made no grammatical sense but pretend it does).
He’s fucking in deep, pace erratic and all over the place, hips twitching occasionally and jerky. Neither of you can actually set still on a pace so you just keep clumsily humping each other, fast, slow. It doesn’t matter.
But he’s hungry now.. and well ur here. And he’s like ‘yeah it’s time’ and fucking chomps down on ur neck.
AND TURNS U TA DAAAAAA!!! Now you’ll never be apart!! And you’ll never leave him, and y’all got built in Bluetooth because of the connected hive mind so.. now you’ll know where he’s going and what he’s thinking. No more reason for a break up.
.. yeah I told you to be strong, now ur crazy ex is fucking ur shit up for eternity. Womp womp. 
