#this is afamphobia

[this-is-afamphobia]

when society expects you to "love" your family because "they're still your family" and shame you if you express any kind of distaste for them (especially in certain cultures that are family-centric like mine, wherein most children are expected to support their parents even if they've been shitty)

this is afamphobia.

[this-is-afamphobia]

the way people like to say “they’re not just friends, they’re family!!” to stress the importance of their relationship, and make every platonic relationship into ‘found family’. it feels exactly the same as when arophobes go “they’re not just friends, they’re romantic partners!!”

as if being friends isn’t enough?? as if platonic bonds aren’t good enough or strong enough, we need to make it MORE important?? no, they don’t need to be family to be important and loved!

this is afamphobia.

[this-is-afamphobia]

the heeeaaavy societal expectation that to be successful or fulfilled in life one needs to get married and have kids, aka start a family. ESPECIALLY for women who are expected to be baby making machines as soon as they’re old enough. it’s a super duper fun mix of afamphobia and misogyny. not everyone wants a family! i can have a completely fulfilled and happy life with 0 family!

this is afamphobia and misogyny.

[this-is-afamphobia]

not feeling safe to tell many folk im afamilial, because i dont want to be demonized and shamed as if my lack of familial attraction is a failing that theyre entitled to 'fixing' :(

this is afamphobia.

[this-is-afamphobia]

My mom who insists I'm being rude to her for not seeing her as "family" due to trauma, like 0 actual platonic bonding, and being demifamilial

let it be known i have never even said this out loud, i have just said things like "i dont really like living with family" and "being family does not automatically mean i love/like them" and more stuff like that.

this is afamphobia.

[this-is-afamphobia]

My Nana getting mad at me bc I wasn't sad over some distant cousin dying. I was completely indifferent and she was like, "SHOW SOME RESPECT! SHE'S FAMILY!" Like I'm sorry for you Nana but idek who tf that person even is. Why should I care?

this is afamphobia.

[this-is-afamphobia]

I learned what this term was because of this blog, thank you.

I come from an abusive family, and I've been away from them for almost a decade now. It's really difficult, because my mother tried to contact me against my wishes not long ago. I tried to humor her for a little bit, but I realized that when she told me 'I love you' I said it back only as a trigger response. There had never been a point in my life where I meant it, and she expected it from me.

I tried to talk to my friends about this, but they loved their parents, and I think it alienated me from them. My partner's parents don't talk to me, because they think I did something wrong to not have family.

Anyways, thank you again. This is the first time I've seen this treated kindly.

this is afamphobia.

I got emotional while reading this, anon. I'm genuinely so happy that you found this blog helpful, and I hope you experience many other instances where being afamilial is accepted and treated kindly. I wish you all the best in the future.

[this-is-afamphobia]

Afamilial culture is why the fuck adults reinforce in literal children mentality that they should have family and / or kids when they get older? My family tries to dump into my 7 y.o. sibling's mind that they will have kids like "average people." Bro, they are 7 YEARS OLD! I hate familiarity (if it's the word).

This is afamphobia.

The word could be allofamilialism but I'm not sure either.