#actually afamilial

[our-afamspec-experience]

I hate hate hate people who try to adopt you like internet parents or family without your consent. No you are not my mom now just because I said my parents were shitty. No you are not my older sibling just because you're older and like to tease me. No you are not a younger sibling just because you look up to me. No we are not twins. Stop it.

[the-basil-plot]

Hello aplatonic and/or afamilial person!! Are you perhaps looking for a word you can use in place of friend and/or sibling that isn't as hard to spell and generally inconvenient as "acquaintance"?? May I suggest to you,

✨️Accomplice✨️??

[Pt: Accomplice /end pt]

[this-is-afamphobia]

when society expects you to "love" your family because "they're still your family" and shame you if you express any kind of distaste for them (especially in certain cultures that are family-centric like mine, wherein most children are expected to support their parents even if they've been shitty)

this is afamphobia.

[this-is-amato-heteronormativity]

i am afamilial and aroace. the thought of having a child or a family *disgusts* and repulses me, literally, i cant even think about it without wanting to vom-t, it's so tiring when people say "everyone will eventually want a family!" or "i also didnt want a bf back then" or "thats selfish!" :((

cant i just not want to date/marry/have kids with anyone :(

[PT: Vomit.]

This is familial-normativity.

[privygrid]

There's a moment from when I was in tenth grade that I remember so clearly.

It was P.E. class, and I was sitting somewhere near the basketball court, a place I liked sitting at because it was quiet and covered in the shadows of the trees around.

I was thinking, as we all do sometimes, and had this one specific sentence cross my mind.

"Am I supposed to feel something when I tell my mom I love her?"

It made me pause.

I wasn't sure how to answer it.

I wasn't sure how to even approach it.

For a few years after that moment, I always refused to think too much about it. I told myself I was mistaken. Because of course I loved her. She was family. I had to love my family, right?

Then I learned the term afamilial.

It wasn't an immediate "That's me!" kind of feeling.

More of a... "Oh, this exists. Nice."

It took me some time to realize I related to it. Took me even longer to accept it.

But I did, and here I am a few months later.

I'm demifamilial.

It feels right to say that.

It feels good to have a name for my experience.

It feels comforting to know there's more people like me out there.

Even if I can never come out to most people. Even if many would think I'm some kind of horrible person for it.

It still feels nice. Because I'm not lying to myself about this anymore.

So... to any afamilials reading this, and to anyone who may have resonated with this post, afamilial or not.

I just want you to know that you're not alone.

We're together in this. We always will be.

Happy Pride Month.

[jacaelyx]

give a struggling afamilial $400 every holidays. maybe you could pay me to act like i love my family

[raccoon-go-bweh]

mothers day and being afamilial is not fun.

I stalled so much writing a card, like no... I don't love you. I don't want to face the punishment of sounding like a "robot" either. I see that my mom puts effort into parenting... that's true. I want her less overworked, but to the same degree I want a random teacher of mine less overworked. I want you to rest because this is an arbitrary holiday and everyone is overworked in this collapsing, exploitative society and this gives you a chance to rest.

But I don't love you. I honestly want you out of my life as soon as I can. And it's you who's made me feel broken for that as you've denied it and treated it as a failing since I was fucking 6 years old. I've repeatedly admitted I don't love any of them and they don't accept it.

I don't love you. Leave me alone.

Also no, I don't want to be crammed to the car's max capacity with siblings who every time they touch me I get violent intrusive thoughts, just to babble and wander around.

I don't owe you affection for genetic relation, I owe not getting in the way of your rest, and the same things I owe any other human.

[thedaygoesupinflames]

i am once again here to give a big ol' shoutout to afamilials that are alloplatonic, afamilial's that are allosexual, afamilial's that are alloromantic, and afamilial's that are otherwise allo where one would expect you to be aspec