BODYACHE
HOW DOES IT FEEL TO DIE? it is a thought that has undoubtedly crossed every willing teenager’s mind. youth often strives for a means to an end to their own misery while adults searches every corner of the world to preserve their dwindling youth, their short lives. eunha has long seen past superficial means of being young. what was the use? she will rot and the world will rot with her. why cling? why hold onto things that would serve to make her even more unhappy than she was now? why would she miss looking at herself in the mirror everyday and seeing her mother?
likely it doesn’t apply to the rest of her year, likely that eunha is a special case of fucking demented, likely that she is the only one that wonders about death.
death, the final release, the last chapter, the end of it all.
oh, it excites her just to think about it.
and yet she does not wish for pain, does not want to hurt ( she figures she’s done enough hurting for a lifetime ), does not want to feel anymore. because feeling is living and eunha very much so would rather be dead. six feet under without living conscious to care about tomorrow’s quiz or next week’s paper.
yes, eunha thinks to herself, hand digging into her side ( twitching and throbbing with sharp aches ) as she leans over, body struggling to take in air and dust on the school’s track field.
death would be welcomed with open arms right now.