#this is very overdramatic

[formula1direction]

if we don't get a mclaren podium in the next 6 races where lando actually acknowledges oscars existence i may give up

[i-regret-a-lot]

listening to kuumaa and suddenly life has meaning again 🤩

[youphoriaot7]

Of course Pac is losing it. It hasn't even been a week since Mike disappeared—it's barely been five days. Richas was the only reason Pac was able to hold it together, and he's barely seen him since.

Now, Richas is gone, too.

"My life is pointless right now. My life is just pointless."

He's lost the two ties closest to him, in the span of less than a week. He was already a bit on edge thanks to his own kidnapping (literally just over a week ago), and now both Mike and Richas have vanished. Neither have any clues. Any notes. Any leads. Any messages. Anywhere to start looking.

There's just nothing. The world is falling apart, and Pac has nothing.

[thetravellingcheese]

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[andsoispeak-blog]

AN OPEN LETTER TO JACQUELINE WILSON

Dear Jackie, 

Remember me? I wrote to you when I was eleven, and you wrote back to me, telling me I was a "lovely, intelligent, sweet, strong little girl." Did you mean that? Was it just something you told everyone? You told me I was special, so that must mean something. 

You know what? You're special to me. If I had to divide my life into significant bad and good times, your books got me through the worst. I'm going through another very rough patch right now, but I've finished reading all your books now. I have other, more reliable support systems - the most incredible girlfriend, a counsellor, anti-depressants, anxiety medication, sleeping pills, some really, really good friends, and a stuffed monkey to cuddle with. 

I flipped through Bad Girls after a long time today, and I felt the same comfort I felt when I was ten years old, hiding in the closet (literally) in a hotel room in Singapore. I felt that crazy connection to Mandy and Tanya again. I had to resist the urge to pretend I was living in Pat's Home. But you know what, Jackie - I've disconnected from the fictional world now.

I am no longer Jane Rizzoli or Stef Foster. I am no longer a member of the Baby Sitter's Club. April is not my best friend, and neither is Ellie. I am not Richard Castle (thank GOD!), and I am very grateful that I don't want to be Boots any more. I am Payal. I've come to realize that it's okay to be me.

I may hate myself, and I may feel some horrible things that I don't have control over, but I have to believe that it will pass. I have so much hope for my future, and my dreams are slowly coming true. Even though I'm not happy now, I think I might be one day. And to be eventually find happiness, I have to be Payal.

I am already on that path. Things are already falling into place. I may be hurting and tired from fighting, but at least I'm not escaping. 

Thank you, Jackie, for letting me escape. But I'm done with that now. I have Amy now. I have amazing friends. I have my Drexel scholarship. I have a new, healthier form of escapism - I can dream about my future.

You said you hoped I would find strength from adversity, and I'm on my way.

Love, 

Payal Nagpal.