#this post is cursed

[bowandbrush]

There was no second page. They’re doomed. Whatever, go my blursed bootleg Donnie plushie

[chaosandstardust]

Ah, memories

[toxicanonymity]

what do you think would happen if sweet pea found out from carter that joel's birthday is coming up? <3

raider!Joel x f! reader. angst and fluff

A/N: He would tell her Joel doesn't like to celebrate. It being outbreak day, she doesn't wonder if there's more to it. She wants to honor him. She tries really hard to think of something, find something. Nothing seems special enough. She never gets anything, and she feels awful about it.

You wake up on Joel's birthday, empty-handed. You're sniffling in his arms, little spoon as usual, and soon a tear is running down your cheek and onto his bicep. "Mm," he grunts in his sleep. You keep sniffling. "Sweet pea," he mumbles and pulls you closer.

By the time he really wakes up, you're ugly crying into his arm. It turns him on. He touches your face, catches your tears and thumbs your lips, then slowly ruts into you. You wipe your face and get up to move. He turns over on his back to watch you. You straddle his knees, bend forward, and you're just about to suck him when he lays a hand on your head and asks, "you okay, baby?" You start crying again, harder. "C'mere." He pats his chest. You settle in with your head on his chest, tears in his chest hair.

Your voice is broken. "I know it's your birthday." His chest slowly expands under your cheek. "I didn't get you anything. I really wanted to. I couldn't think of anything good enough, I wanted to give you something really special." Your crying becomes more vocal. "And I don't have anything for you."

He pets your head and allows some silence, then answers, "that's cause I got everything I need." He kisses the crown of your head. After some time of soothing you and thinking, he starts, "you," and his voice is tighter. He clears his throat. You pull back to so look up at him. It's a face you're not sure you've ever seen on him. His brows are furrowed, and there's the slightest fogginess in his eyes. He swallows, looks away for a moment, takes a deep breath through his nose, then locks in on your eyes. His deep voice is barely above a whisper. "you've given me a lot, sweet pea."

[calculatedklown]

If the companions were thrown into present day. Who would understand current slang the quickest?

I think Astarion would understand what “serving cunt” is pretty quickly.

[cursed-sonic-opinions]

🦔‧₊˚✩彡

@cowsoup131

[chamxmxle]

Ornery professor getting a little belligerent with the bar lad at the student pub who gives recommendations with a winning smile. "that brew is pretty strong, so it's a great way to start the night, but maybe not to finish it, haha"

hey, kid, how about you let me be the judge of that, eh?

Drunk professor who manages to contrary himself to sloppy, to staggering. suddenly at the mercy of the very boy he's antagonized all night

[rock-lobbbster-blog]

I was researching bird facts the other night and discovered an interesting urban legend about the cedar waxwing. apparently, somewhere out there in the wild west of the internet, there exists a website whose entire purpose is to host one file: an animated music video featuring facts about the cedar waxwing, which includes remixed audio clips from a recording of a crowded room. it was created sometime in the mid- to late-1990's, and enjoyed a bit of memetic fame in its heyday!

anyway, the reason this novelty site is notable in the annals of internet history is because it allegedly contains an archive of certain code necessary to keep the internet as we know it alive and functioning. this keystone status has made it a source of annoyance over the years, as its url can never be reclaimed and its factual inaccuracies about the cedar waxwing can never be corrected. others have speculated about the source of the audio clips and proposed sinister origins.

supposedly, the real reason the website was created was a prank on the original creator's sister. the remixed audio comes from a recording of her saying "SORRY, I DIDN'T REALIZE I COULD TURN IT UP" very loudly into a microphone in the middle of a crowded airport.

but I prefer the mystery, don't you?

[amorous-jones-lover]

I suppose this is the right place to put this here-

This isn't exactly nsfw but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable on my main blog.

This is about some odd CC dreams I had a while back. I've been dying to get these out somewhere but I didn't know how- I'm sorry.

‼️ I'm serious, this is fucking wild. Listen to me, this is your last warning. ‼️

So.. a while ago, I dreamt of... Tony/ Jones Mpreg?

It appeared in my dreams twice.. Don't ask. I just remember seeing art of it here on Tumblr and that was that, that's how it played out in both dreams.

I'm actually partially disappointed it was a dream because I'm very curious to see how the fandom would've reacted. I can imagine some of the reactions already... 😀

It probably already exists somewhere. I don't know if I want to know or not- you just never know. 😭

(Lord forgive me.)