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@xhelenaxleblancx

“I...” Question caught Seraphina off-guard. That was UNEXPECTED to say the very LEAST. And yet the WEIGHT OF IT was not lost on the girl with gold-streaks in mahogany hair. Chestnut eyes held a sense of CONFLICT and her tongue slipped across dry lips. “I, umm...” She glanced down. BLEEDING NERVES. Before reaching for her pocket. “Sometimes I...” When Artie was around. He was the ONLY ONE that intruded upon her phone. “But...” She dug out her phone and handed it over. Hoping the PRESENTLY WALLPAPERED pic of Helena in black and white -- with GOLD TINTING on her hair, eyes, cigarette and vodka -- would hold MEANING ENOUGH to counterbalance the fact that -- NO. She wasn’t ALWAYS her lockscreen. Anxiety had her shuffling. Breath TRAPPED in her neck as she SWALLOWED HARD. Praying for Helena to UNDERSTAND.

#/.LMX;MM;V;B;LMBV;LMVB;LMB;VCBMV;LMVB;LKM F;MNK #BVB9 VPO BLIOGKHCBC #KBBKLL CKBIPVBVC][BVC #[#BVLCP'CBV'MBVCCBV;BCNV;VNB;CBV #YEAH BUT LIKEEEE #LIKEEEE #FUCJK #SFDNO NDODSF OFDSN SD DSF #I LOVE THIS MEE #THIS REPLY #AND I'M VERY CURIOUS OF HELENA'S REACTION #LIKE FUCK #FD SJPSDFN PDFS PKDF FDKDIOHFDSHIOSFDSUK #HELENA [THE SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON]#SERAPHINA [SOMETHING MORE THAN ALL SHE EVER WAS]#SHIP [INDUSTRIAL REACTION]#XHELENAXLEBLANCX

❛ DON’T. ❜ emma’s voice is one hundred thousand things –––– immediate, hushed, & despite its demand, pleading, even. her limbs possess the idleness of betrayal. emma had sat in that hospital room for hours, images flickering one to the next, always in the same order: audrey BLEEDING OUT in her arms, the blood making audrey hard & harder to hold. emma saying baby don’t go. emma saying i’m right here, baby, i’m here, can you hear me sweetheart, i’m here! emma crying out for help. screaming. audrey holding her hand so tight she nearly BROKE it. audrey pulling emma down. ear to audrey’s lips. lips saying truths and saying emma, listen. emma saying i love you till her throat went raw, till she could tune audrey’s voice out, till she could only hear phrases. ( i brought her to lakewood. i helped. it’s my fault, em. ) beside audrey in the ambulance, holding onto her any way they’d let her.

emma had been IMMOBILE these last few hours, sitting stiff in the hospital room chair, straight-backed and nauseous, a statue. a nurse had come into the room to check on audrey. another had come in to check on emma, & she had repeated herself three times before emma had understood her. ❛ can i get you anything ? ❜ emma just shook her head. the nurse was halfway out the door when emma grabbed the words, mid-air, and tossed them back out again. ❛ will she be alright ? ❜

the nurse had offered the smile of a mother to a child and the words: ❛ we’ll know soon. ❜

emma felt as though on a carousel, passing by blurry images of the truths of her life. but despite the cut emma felt opening between her ribs –––– it certainly was there, and to deny it was to only let it fester –––– it was AUDREY in that bed. it had been AUDREY in her arms. it had been to AUDREY she had whispered the only miracle emma had known: i love you i love you i love you.

emma stands, shakily, and moves to sit at the foot of the hospital bed, and her hand itches to hold audrey’s, but now isn’t the time. ❛ REST. you need rest. ❜ despite herself, emma leans over, her lips brushing audrey’s forehead, feather-light. ❛ we’ve always been a little happy and always a little sad, don’t you think ? ❜ she smiles, kisses audrey’s nose, puts a hand to audrey’s cheek, forgets, for a moment, the HORROR. ❛ rest now. ❜

THE TRUTH was finally lifted from her chest, freed like a long-kept burden, but now it settled deeply in the pit of her stomach. it brought on nausea joined by a strong mix of heavy pain medication & god knew how many stitches. it all comes back to her in flashes the longer she’s been conscious, with nurses pricking at her tired veins and checking vitals like clockwork and all she wants is to be at home / with emma / in their bed so that she can fully explain. ( would emma even want her in the house after all was said and done? ) it wasn't like she could blame her if she didn't.

i brought piper to lakewood. I HELPED HER. it’s my fault. the words play like a numbing mantra in her head, words that she had choked out admist blood loss and hands pressing desperately to wounds in order to stop the flow of blood and she remembers emma’s voice pleading her to stay awake, promising her that she’d be okay --- and maybe she was right. maybe the physical wounds would heal and life would move on, but nothing would change that she had betrayed emma in the worst possible way.

' EMMA, WAIT --- ' her tone is strained, tired but desperate, reaching a weak hand to barely grasp the girl’s wrist so she wouldn’t leave. not yet. not when there were still things to say that she needed her to hear. ' i need you to know -- before you leave -- how sorry i am. for everything. ' her words have started to slur together, a mix of medicine and her thoughts threatening to slip back into unconsciousness. ‘ this is my fault, all of it --- and i should have told you a long time ago. ‘ there's a heavy breath and she wheezes out with it just slightly. ' i deserve whatever happens. ' // for @emdval !

#future verse is literally gonna be the death of me also im sorry #this reply #is so ///??terrible #i. ––– ❛ V. YOU SURVIVED. NOW LIVE WITH THE TRAUMA ᵎ ⁽ ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ ᵗʰʳᵉᵉ ⁾#i. ––– ❛ WRITTEN ᵎ ⁽ ᵐᵘˡᵗᶤ ⁾#i. ––– ❛ INT. 006 ᵎ ⁽ ᵉᵐᵈᵛᵃˡ ⁾#emdval

“Do you see?” His voice had become ethereally unpleasant, as if a symphony had been composed with nails on a chalkboard. “Do you see what I am? Clearly? Do you see why we spoke “do not be afraid” when we visited mortals in the days of old? I am wrath incarnate, Lord Bentley, I am the form that God’s divine punishment takes.” He took a step towards the man, stretching an arm out as sizzling drops of black acid fell from his hand. “I am forever cursed, I am not made for worship, I am not made for weakness, and I am not made for pleasure. I am forged in pain and suffering, made by cruelty, imbued with doubt. I am flawed perfection, the first and last weapon in Gods’ arsenal, too powerful to know weakness, too weak to hold real power.”

@hellspains