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remained knitted. Eyes remained SKEPTICAL. She knew what she wanted to ask. She wanted to ask if Helena believed her. Knowing Delilah. But that just made her fear if Helena herself WANTED to believe Delilah. Or if she WANTED it to be another one of her PSYCHOPATHIC PLOYS. And just like that Seraphina had full ascended to the pinnacle of her paranoia and was facing down that helter-skelter spiral into ROCK BOTTOM. Movements became shiftier. More restless. Breathing more erratic. Gum being chewed at, knee bobbing anxiously. âRight⌠RIGHTâŚâ Hand rubbed at her lips and jaws before she spoke. âThank you for thatâŚâ She needed to at least get THAT out first. Before she forgot. âI⌠I donât know what to say, though. I donât trust herâŚâ Which, between the lines, could only read as: I donât trust YOU. Since it otherwise wouldnât have MATTERED if Delilah had ulterior motives. âI donât know if could handle that. Shit Iâd be here in Vegas all alone, tooâŚâ Not that she wasnât USED to spending Christmas alone. The Washingtons always made time for Thanksgiving, despite never having ANYTHING to be thankful FOR. But never Christmas. Unless HOITY-TOITY Christmas Galas counted. In which the family spent more time NETWORKING than anything else. âHow do YOU feel about it all?â Perhaps she shouldâve asked that question FIRST.
     âYeah, uh. Jusâ didnât seem right ta not talk ta ya first. Yâknow?â Helena LeBlanc mightâve dropped outta high school, but she wasnât STUPID â There was a reason sheâd decided to speak with Seraphina about this before ditching town. Nagging voice inside her head was screaming that she LOVED HER. Sociopath preferred the term, LOYALTY. Her & her plaything had been through Hell & back together â Theyâd ran away from home, forsaken their families, & made a PACT to get her daughter back. Much as it stung to think about, Delilah hadnât been there for her in the ways Sera had. To just leave the poor thing here, ALONE, over the Holidays, didnât sit right with her. In fact, when the other said the words, her stomach LURCHED. Pitiful nod, âI donât want yâhere alone neither.â Christmas didnât really mean jack-diddly-squat to her â This time of the year was RIDDLED WITH PTSD. Memories of the Bible closet, beatings, praising Jesus, & daddy sneaking into her room to FIX HER in the name of the Lord. But for her sissy & mama, the birth of their savior meant everything â âIââ How did she feel? Brows knit together in contemplation, âGuess I jusâ want what I always wanted. Yâall ta get along. Donât want yâta be alone here, anâ I donât want her ta be alone there.âÂ
âWell thank you for that...â Words spoken from the BOTTOM of Seraphinaâs selfish little heart. It meant more than sheâd ever truly be able to admit. Not that it helped her PARANOIA-DICTATED EGO. But Sera and Helena had done exactly that in times past. Twice. TWICE. Theyâd disappeared halfway across the country to Florida and -- TO THIS DAY -- neither Alex nor Lilah knew. And the fact Helena felt compelled to be this frank and honest with her spoke volumes for that four letter VOLDEMORT word. âYeah...â Coiled and turmoiled emotions were bleeding through in the lack of RESOLVE in Seraphinaâs answers. This was all hurting her. SCARING HER. But she was trying to be strong for Helenaâs sake. âI wouldnât know what to do with myself.â A FAIR CONFESSION. If Helena was going to be honest with her. Seraphina was going to be honest with Hel. Not that sheâd imagined HERSELF & HELENA trading gifts by the fire under the Christmas tree wearing santa hats and christmas sweaters. If TRAUMA had warped Helenaâs perception of Christmas. Then BUSINESS had warped Seraâs. Neither girl would ever be able to see the emotional intimacy of the holiday outside of Grace REKINDLING fires long lost like some kind of overdue Christmas Miracle. âYeah, I know...â Sad truth of the matter was. Helena was never going to get that. Grace -- YES. Delilahâs forgiveness -- YES. Seraphinaâs heart -- YES. Every girl in the world -- ALREADY HAD. Sheâd even bet on that CHRISTMAS MIRACLE. But that four letter word was a cruel little cunt. And the very reason Helena LOVED & ADORED herself and Delilah so much -- That selfish obsession with Helena LeBlanc. Just so happened to live a double life of the DEATHNAIL in Helenaâs dream future. âAnd do you think that can happen this Christmas?â Heart was beginning to BATTER ITSELF against her chest. âSeems like she took the Thanksgiving fight a little too LITERALLY. If you donât want Dylan in her life. She doesnât want me in yours.â Which... Why DIDNâT Helena want Dylan in Delilahâs life? Was the problem DYLAN or was the problem DELILAH MOVING ON? (Not that Delilah even was...) âI wish I knew what to say...â The truth was, Helena had to make a DECISION. âI could come down with you. See what she says. Or just...â Hide me away? âI donât know... Stay with me.â SELFISH EGO finally won out. âInvite her. Invite your mom. Invite your aunt Crissy. Tell her to leave Dylan at home. And make sure she DOESNâT find us fucking this time.â












