#this stuff again

[tauntingcrow]

Doing some #artvsartist2019 this year around as well. Slowly introducing more variations in style, ey!

[sugirandom]

contemplating logging out for now, my mood dropped and I feel like I will probably get into emotional ranting mode so I should probably sign off before I do too much damage. I am just in an emotional place right now I guess... I wish I could be more satisfied with how things are now but I'm not... I'm lonely for something I can't have.

At least I was productive enough to exercise and wash some dishes and I was happy for a bit but then my own loneliness started to sink in I couldn't take it. When the distractions slow down and it's jut me and my thoughts...that's when it's the hardest for me.

I try but I can't be comforted when I get like this, I just have to distract myself again or otherwise I am in tears and I am sorry for those of you who have put up with it. I am looking forward to Otakon, I really am but for not I am just a little upset, just a little tired and a little lonely.

I will be better in time for Otakon, so long as I try not to think too hard about things and let my perfectionist/ low self-esteem get tendencies get the best of me. I will have fun this weekend cosplaying with a friend and seeing guests I want to see so by then it will be a little better.

[gyodragon]

MAKIN' DA MOVIE

[netlexia]

as per usual, i should be asleep. alas, i must write down one more thing because it's kind of funny and dumb

today started out really blegh. i ended up setting my alarm but forgot to actually turn it on, and ended up waking about an hour and a half later than i should have. miraculously, i got ready in the last 20-30 mins that i had before i have to get out of the house.

note that on tues and thurs i have an 8am class, and wake up at a little past 5 am to get ready in the morning. i spend nearly two hours to get ready, including breakfast, and allot the last hour to commute to school.

second miracle is that i make it to campus 15 mins before class starts

but end up being late to my next class [luckily it's on the same building and floor] by like 10 mins. nothing exciting happens in my last class.

third awesome thing that happened is that mum got out of work ludicrously early and picked me up from the trolley, and we were able to get lunch and teaaaa

a few hours later i almost confess to her that i think i have a crush on one of my lady classmates. having a crush feels weird this hasn't happened before how do people deal with this *stilted laughter*

okay i'm going to sleep it's 2am and i'm going to try waking up at 8 or 9am so i can meet my friend at school to buy textbooks and have maybe pho for lunch