planes aren't falling out of the sky & the sun still goes DOWN ( down, down, down ) when it can't handle being the LIGHT for everybody another second longer --- she knows this, knows it like she knows her own name, or his name, but everyone’s an enemy and they might make her into her own worst nightmare, which leaves little comfort to be derived.
she is not the SUN and she is not a PLANE but her heart hurts so bad she thinks it might burst, and not in that good way it did when green eyes kept her AFLIGHT as efficiently as gravity and she can't stomach even the things she LOVES most in this world. ( not in that way. ) in that other way where all of the STARS are gone and the sun never RISES & the boy with the GREEN EYES doesn't s a v e her from crashing ninety miles an hour into the concrete even when she coaxes her body into giving into the darkness fully convinced that it'll be turned into something she can stand. ( in that way. ) in that very terrible way.
that terrible way that confirms what she already knows: the sun is still RISING & FALLING and she's MISSING IT, missing it missing it missing it. an onslaught of immediate thoughts: they are trying to make adrian's eyes less green and she might never see them again and her stomach has been twisted inside out and when she looks down at her arms she still expects to see the skin peeled back and bone, bone, bone --- her head’s DIZZY and everything’s wrong and their eyes are on her even when they can’t see her; but not on lydia. it’s that thought that pulls her back. “ they don’t look at you. not the way they do the rest of us. ” in a low voice, gaze straight forward.
@lydiaendures.