post about savannah under the cut~
so as like most of you probably know because we are the loudest queers, savannah and i just got to see each other for about a week!! it was so nice to get to spend time together and to be able to show her around where I grew up. however, now she's more than a 1,000 miles away again and it hurts really really bad.
imagine somebody, like your best friend or your mom or your dad or your partner, someone you connect with so completely that it's sometimes really really really hard not to miss them even if they might be pretty close to you. then imagine that you don't get to see them but sometimes on holidays. and that they live so far away it would take take you, realistically, hundreds of dollars and days in the car or hours and hours on a plane to go see them. ever.
most days we're really good, like we're fantastic. we know we get to see each other soon (or maybe even not soon, but we know we'll see each other sometime) and we can get through it. we call each other on skype and talk and we can do it.
(i had something typed here and tumblr deleted it!!! whoo!!!! let's try again~~) sometimes, though, it feels like we're on opposite ends of an extremely taught string. sometimes it hurts really bad that we can't hold the other or hug them when they're sad. sometimes it hurts to even think about this stuff cause we're so far.
but then you think about all the wonderful, lovely, amazing things that the other has brought into your life and you can feel some kind of comfort or calm.
savannah makes me feel so so loved and so important. she's so caring and kind and adorable and she gets so so excited about little things and it makes me soooo happy and it makes everything worth it. me, as a person, am so so so happy right now. this past year was stress and anxiety and everything and I (believe) have only had one panic attack since i've been with savannah. this is, whereas, i used to get one or more daily. I'm not saying she's fixing anything, everything is still there, she just makes me feel very calm and happy and like there's just not as much to worry about.
and that's why it's important to say stuff like this to remind yourself that you can do it. you are so loved and you can do it.
