In the past one and a half-ish weeks we've discussed at length just how good the last scene at the diner is and how Style drawing tears on Fadel at the rock concert was foreshadowing to Fadel ending the episode crying real tears. What I haven't seen discussed yet, however, is how that ending scene is actually a counterpart to Fadel and Style's conversation after the rock concert. And I think that makes the scene in the diner even more poignant. And it also makes the scene at the rock pub even more painful as well. Because they are basically the same scenes, just flipped. And I desperately need to talk about it or else I'll explode.
Part 1: "Tonight I am very happy"
In this scene Style knows something that Fadel doesn't: This will most likely be their last chance to be happy together like this. Tomorrow Fadel will go on his mission where the police will be waiting and then Fadel will be taken away from him.
But Style already loves Fadel, he is already worried about him and he really does not want to lose him. So he keeps trying to subtly talk Fadel into staying home from the mission and spilling the beans about the mission so he can explicitly ask Fadel not to go. But Fadel keeps his mouth shut. And as happy as Style is together with Fadel this evening, he is also very upset. He doesn't want their last shared night to end, but there's no way around it. For Style this is a goodbye.
And for Fadel? Fadel went from I'll tell her this will be your last job to Ruerat is the last jerk we have to kill. After that, we can live however we want. Even in this episode, right before he goes to the concert with Style, Fadel tells Bison "Once we're done with Ruerat, I'll talk to Mother again", when Bison says it's time for them to quit. Fadel is on the same page as Bison now. Ruerat is their last victim and after that Fadel wants out. For Fadel, this is the last night where he's still stuck in his hitman life, but once he is done with his mission the weight will be off his shoulders and he can finally truly be with Style. For Fadel this is the opposite of a goodbye.
In the words of my mother: For Style, when the night is over life will end. For Fadel, when the night is over life will begin. Style is ending something and Fadel wants to begin something.
And another thing my mom pointed out is how they're standing in front of a pink sky:
And at what time of the day is the sky pink? Either at dawn or at dusk. The beginning of the day or the end of the day. And for Fadel this scene is only the beginning of the day while for Style this scene is the end of the day.
Part 2: "I think I already love you"
In this scene Fadel knows something that Style doesn't: Style has played him, has made him lower his protective walls, has made him fall for him only to turn around and betray him.
Style told Fadel he hoped that Fadel wouldn't get any more scars and yet here Style is, stabbing Fadel right in the heart and jeopardizing his life. Here Style is, bursting Fadel's bubble that he's finally started daring to dream about, a dream of a future where he wasn't lonely, a future where he was happy and himself with someone, Style, by his side. But Style is a danger to him. Style can't stay. As happy as Fadel has been together with Style, he needs to let go of him. For Fadel this is a goodbye.
And for Style? He has just spent a full week worrying sick about Fadel after his mission went wrong and went completely MIA. Style has likely (definitely) spent a week checking the restaurant every single day for any sign of Fadel's return, not giving up hope of seeing him again. And then Fadel is back. Style is overjoyed. The heavy metal concert wasn't their last day together, Fadel is pulling through on his promise that they'll have many more nights like that with each other. The concert may have been the end of that day, but now against all odds a new day has come. For Style this is the opposite of a goodbye.
And so we're left with the exact opposite situation from what we had at the concert: Fadel is ending something and Style wants to begin something.
Conclusion
These two scenes go together, they're flipped parallels of each other.
At the concert, Style is internally saying goodbye to Fadel because he thinks their relationship will be over when Fadel gets arrested at the mission and the police take him away. At the diner, Fadel is internally saying goodbye to Style because he thinks their relationship is over now that he "knows" that none of it was real on Style's part since in reality he was working with said police.
At the concert Fadel is truly happy, because once his mission is over he'll talk to mother and when he's managed to convince her that he and Bison will be out, then Fadel can go and start a new life, a new future with Style. At the diner, Style is overjoyed because he thought he was about to lose Fadel, but Fadel has come back and now Style gets a second chance at a future with Fadel.
At the concert, Fadel is happy and he can tell something is kinda off about Style ("What's wrong? You act like we're not going to see each other again."), but he has absolutely no idea that Style is in the process of bidding him farewell. At the diner, Style is happy and he can tell something is kinda off about Fadel ("You were just calling me out for being affectionate. Now you wanna be romantic?"), but he has absolutely no idea that Fadel is in the process of bidding him farewell.
It's brilliant writing, really. And both scenes were flawlessly performed by both actors.
Inspired by @secriden's metas on Style here and to a certain extent also here and also from some comments about Style's apparently "swagless" and "rizzless" flirting, I went on a rewatch of the first two episodes (a rewatch which I thought was a GREAT idea to start at midnight and made me stay up till 4:30am even tho I had uni the next day lmao rip), a rewatch that served as a quest to find answers to some questions I was wondering about.
Mainly I was curious about two topics:
1) Style and his level of Being Annoying™
How annoying is Style right now?
Is he being annoying on purpose?
Why? Why not?
2) Style's flirting
Is he actively flirting right now?
Why? Why not?
I wanted to know what exactly Style was doing and why he was doing it. And I figured I might as well share my thoughts publicly as some people might be interested in reading about how I personally see Style's journey in these first two episodes that have aired as of me writing this.
So without further ado... let's get into it!
Episode 1
No. 1: Meet Cute Meet Angry
It's Style and Fadel's first meeting and they're already off to a very bad start. Style has just crashed into someone else's car, which is not exactly something you would generally wanna do just for fun, Style gets yelled at for it (valid), and then, when Style actively tries to fix his mistake, the person whose car he crashed into gets even more pissy about it and even actively denies Style his attempt of taking responsibility for his fuck-up.
And yes, Style is in fact annoying to Fadel here, because first of all, of course you'd be annoyed when someone crashes into your car, especially when that driver is potentially drunk and even admits to not paying attention to the road while driving and second of all, because in this particular case the accident comes with exceptionally bad timing for Fadel and the murder evidence in his trunk. But overall, I don't think Style is any more annoying here than your average idiot boy.
In fact, I would even argue that here Style isn't so much annoying as simply just very fucking stupid. He is stupid for getting behind the wheel when potentially drunk (he says he only had a single beer, but we can't confirm for sure as we didn't get to see it) and he's even more stupid for texting while driving. And he is stupid for not seeing either of these things as that big of a big deal. Your average idiot boy.
We know his heart is in the right place though, because Style instantly tries to take responsibility for his mistake (because despite his idiocy, Style is smart enough to realize that he did in fact make a mistake) and despite getting yelled at and scolded throughout the entire interaction, he isn't actively trying to piss Fadel off. Instead, he actually tries to calm Fadel down by fixing his mistake, in the metaphorical sense as well as in the quite literal sense of fixing Fadel's car. Style was just very unlucky that he got the wrong person at the wrong time who does NOT have time for Style's idiot boy stupidity.
Fadel, who was already grumpy to begin with, drives off in an even worse mood and Style is left behind, not in the best mood himself either.
Fun fact: throughout the entire scene Style and Fadel use the polite pronouns phom/khun for each other. However, when Style yells after Fadel, for just this one sentence he switches to the rude first person pronoun guu:
สอนกูเป็นพ่อเลยนะ
[sŏn - guu - bpen pôr - loiie - ná]
teach - I/me - as a dad - [particle for emphasis] - [particle]
(If you're not familiar with Thai pronouns, see here)
No. 2: Fadel Brings His Car
When Fadel shows up at Style's garage to drop off his car, Style is actually in a very good mood. He's having the time of his life jamming to the song and when Fadel shows up, Style greets him happily, despite their first interaction having been rather rough. Style doesn't hold a grudge for the way Fadel talked to him last time and he has no reason to piss Fadel off or to annoy him. I mean, why should he? After all it was Style's own mistake and Fadel's anger was pretty justified. For all Style knows, Fadel was just having a bad night that time and isn't usually this grumpy.
I don't think Style is really being annoying in this scene, nor is he flirting, even when he asks Fadel if Fadel thinks Style looked cool while dancing and immediately follows up with flexing his muscles. I think that's just part of his personality. Style is loud and eccentric and he is unabashedly being himself. Which, yes, this type of personality can be annoying for some people (Fadel), but I'd say it's a fairly normal, average level of being annoying for a person with this sort of personality. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Style greets Fadel happily and I think him asking Fadel on his opinion on Style's dancing as well as his muscles is actually an attempt to start an amiable conversation with Fadel. When Fadel doesn't take up Style's offer of friendly banter, Style lets it go ("Fine. I'm not messing with you anymore.") and gets down to car business, still in a good mood.
Style just tried to be friends with Fadel, and it's Fadel who comes in with an attack, questioning Style's skills as a mechanic ("I just hope you can fix it like you said you could."). Style assures him that he can and asks about Fadel's car insurance. Fadel doesn't have it. Style asks how he's supposed to fix Fadel's car in this case and if he's supposed to pay the repairs himself, which I think is a valid question for the position of car mechanic that Style is now at this point standing in front of Fadel as.
Fadel launches another verbal attack at Style ("You want me to pay for the whole repair? You were drunk and on the phone during the accident. It's your responsibility to pay for that. Good thing it was just a rear bumper. If it had been a man you hit, what would you do?") and this time the tone of his voice is also very angry and sharp. Style tries to calm Fadel down ("Relax.") and yields, agreeing to fix the car nonetheless. He asks for the vehicle registration, which is his job as a car mechanic, but Fadel doesn't have that either.
And when Style then accuses Fadel of potentially having stolen the car, I think he isn't really actively trying to piss Fadel off with this, nor is he trying to be annoying. I think this is a direct response to Fadel's attacks. Because Style has been nothing but amiable and friendly to Fadel, has done nothing but try to do his job as a mechanic properly. I think Style does find it shady that Fadel doesn't have any of the paperwork for the car and he does wanna avoid getting involved in any potential shady business (oh boy, just you wait...) but I think he also uses this moment to challenge Fadel back. I don't think Style is trying to start a real fight, because he is very quick to calm Fadel down and to yield again, agreeing to fix the car already, still in an attempt to be friendly with this strange, grumpy man.
Style doesn't hold a grudge, he tries to have an amiable conversation with Fadel, gets attacked multiple times again, does defend himself a little in a bit of a counterattack, but stays friendly with Fadel until the very end. When Fadel leaves the garage, Style's mood is more serious than it was in the beginning, but his good mood isn't completely ruined. I think part of him also kinda had fun challenging Fadel a little like that and talking back to him.
Pronoun situation: they consistently use phom/khun throughout the entire scene.
No. 3: Sensitive Nipples
I think this is the point where Style actively tries to be at least a little annoying. I think by now Style has figured out that Fadel is just naturally grumpy at all times. In both conversations that they've had so far Fadel has mostly just attacked Style with every sentence that has come out of his mouth. I think at this point Style is done with the constant attacks and with constantly being scolded and decides to mess with Fadel a little bit, because if he's already getting yelled at anyway no matter whether he makes an actual mistake (their first meeting) or whether he's trying to be friendly (their second meeting), he might as well have fun with it. Especially since part of him did have fun challenging Fadel last time. And this time he one-ups himself a little bit, even. Because this time he's not trying to be friendly and have an amiable conversation as if to make friends with Fadel. Why should he? As far as Style knows, this should be the last time he sees Fadel. Once Fadel has left with his car, they have no reason to meet again. He can afford to give Fadel a little bit of a "fuck you, see you never again" parting gift.
So Style teases Fadel, like when he pulls his hand away when Fadel makes a grab for the car keys, he challenges Fadel, and invites him to play along. You can see it in the look he throws Fadel after revealing the pin:
His facial expression kinda says: "Well? Whatcha gonna do about it? What is your next move?"
Style has now turned Fadel's constant stream of attacks into a game. And Fadel recognizes that actually:
The subtitles may put it as "I don't have time for this" but what Fadel says here in Thai is:
ผมไม่มีเวลาเล่นกับคุณนะ
[phŏm - mâi - mee - whe-laa - lên - gàp - khun - na]
I - not - have - time - play - with - you - [particle]
"I don't have the time to play with you." But Style doesn't care that Fadel isn't up for playing. He tries to get Fadel to play along anyway when he tells Fadel to get the pin off Style's shirt himself. It's a flirty move, but it's not meant to be actually flirty. It's another challenge in the game and this time Fadel agrees to play. And Style looks rather satisfied:
And then he goes even further when he tells Fadel to be careful with his "sensitive nipples". It's a flirty statement, but again, I don't think it's meant to be actually flirty in the traditional sense of "I want to get into your pants" but rather we're dealing with a question of power, and attempt to get the upper hand even more. However, Fadel gets the last laugh by hurting Style. But Style now knows that Fadel will play along if Style is persistent enough. And Style has FUN playing with Fadel, messing with him:
Of course, when he yells this, he's being sarcastic because this exclamation is motivated by anger about Fadel poking him and also at Fadel's grumpy behaviour in general, but I do think he's telling the truth when he says he's having fun with it. It's in the way he huffs in amusement afterwards and smiles a little.
Pronoun situation: they consistently use phom/khun throughout the entire scene.
No. 4: Secret Deals
Style hadn't been expecting to run into Fadel again and now his best friend asks him to hit on the very guy he's been having problems with and wasn't planning on facing again. Style is very unhappy about this turn of events and really does NOT want to do it at first. Because as much as he was enjoying messing with Fadel in their last meeting, I think all in all he has decided he doesn't like Fadel. I think he's holding a bit of a grudge that Fadel dared to hurt his oh so sensitive nipples and I think Style is also very done with continuously getting yelled at by Fadel. Because in every single time they've met so far, Fadel has hardly ever said ONE thing to Style that wasn't in the form of yelling or scolding. So I think when Kant shows up with "hey can you flirt with the guy who's been verbally attacking you non-stop pls" Style is like nah i'm outta here.
But in the end he does agree to Kant's proposition, because first of all, he sees it as an opportunity to finally get the car of his dreams and second of all, he was having fun riling Fadel up and playing games with him. And I do think Style is up for round 2 of that game. If only to get revenge for the constant yelling and the nipple pain.
No. 5: A Special Customer
And I think here is the first time where Style makes the decision to be annoying on purpose. Yes, he was already actively trying to be annoying in the "sensitive nipples" scene, but I think this scene is the first first time where he's not just trying to be a little annoying for his own amusement, but now there's a purpose to it, a goal.
Kant has asked Style to hit on Fadel, but Style doesn't walk into the diner with the goal of flirting with Fadel but rather Style walks into the diner with the purpose of annoying the shit out of Fadel. And it's 10000% revenge for the nipple. And also the constant stream of yelling. But mostly the nipple. And the fact that Fadel had the last laugh there. Joke's on Style, though, because Fadel will also win this one. But Style doesn't know that yet.
Style wants to get back at Fadel and so he really turns up his level of annoyingness. He invites himself into the diner when it has just closed, he makes Fadel serve him a whole bunch of beers and watch him get tipsy and he forces Fadel to stay at work way past opening hours.
Side note: They've been consistently using phom/khun with each other, except for that one sentence that Style yells at the end of their first meeting and that wasn't even to Fadel's face. Now, they start the scene with phom/khun, but Style calls Fadel nong a couple of times when he sits down and calls for more and more beers. He also calls Fadel nong, when he says "Won't you join me, handsome?" What the subtitles translate as "handsome" in Thai is:
When Fadel walks over and tells Style that he is drunk, Fadel uses khun to address Style and from that moment on Style is back to phom/khun as well.
Style was so done with Fadel that it's only when he's got a few beers in that he finally manages to do what he's actually supposed to be here for: to hit on Fadel for Kant.
He gets up, drops some flirty shit, then pulls Fadel closer. Fadel wants him gone. He pushes Style away and angrily tells him to go home. Style refuses. He came here on a mission and he'll go through with it, goddammit.
Fadel realizes that simply just yelling at Style won't work as a method of getting rid of Style and so Fadel changes his strategy. He starts playing along with Style's game. He leans down to Style, gets really close, pretends he's about to make out with him or whatever and Style thinks he's got him. Until Fadel drags him out of the diner by his feet. Fadel played Style's game and won. And Style is seriously angry now. We can tell not just from the way he rattles at the door and from the rage in his voice when he's screaming outside the diner, but also from his pronoun use in this specific sentence:
Because up until that point he was using phom/khun with Fadel in the scene, except for the beer ordering montage, where he called Fadel nong just to be extra annoying. Even when Fadel is dragging him out the door and when he is yelling outside the door, Style uses phom/khun. That is, until he says "I'm gonna take you out!" A more literal translation of what Style says here is something along the lines of "I'm making you my boyfriend!" and he is so angry, that he actually switches to the rude guu/mueng for this specific sentence:
กูจะเอามึงเป็นแฟนกูให้ได้
[guu - jà - ao - mueng - bpen - faen - guu - hâi dâi]
I - will - take - you - be - boyfriend - I/my - for sure
Where the last few times whenever Fadel has left him standing, Style was kinda irritated and maybe a little offended (the nipples), Style is seriously pissed now.
Episode 2
No. 6: A Shower at the Market
Yes, Kant may have hired Style to hit on Fadel, but when Style spots Fadel at the market, I don't think he goes after Fadel with the goal of flirting with him. No. Last time they interacted, Style was left absolutely, seriously pissed and definitely also a little bit humiliated with the way Fadel just dragged him out of the diner by his feet. So when Style spots Fadel, he decides to be a little shit again. He is once again annoying on purpose, and not for his flirty mission for Kant. Style's goal here is to get revenge for what happened at the diner.
As I said, Style felt a little humiliated at the diner. I think it's interesting how immediately after that, the next time he sees Fadel he messes with Fadel in a way that paints Fadel as "the bad guy". Style purposefully flings the vegetables at Fadel's feet (a little satisfaction for Style) and then he even gets the attention of the other people at the market to then loudly yell accusations about/to Fadel. This is Style's attempt at humiliating Fadel to get back at the way Fadel humiliated him in the diner incident. We know this, because he explicitly says so: "You humiliated me. Now it's my turn. We're even."
Style is the one scolding Fadel now. After having been yelled at non-stop by Fadel, I think Style is very much using the opportunity to finally have an excuse to yell at Fadel as well. And the way he loudly and dramatically shouts at Fadel and shouts across the entire market? Oh, he is very much enjoying that he now finally gets to yell at Fadel himself, that he finally gets to scold him back, even if he had to create this opportunity by framing Fadel for something he didn't actually do wrong. Everything Style is doing here, every action and every word is motivated by revenge. Unfortunately for him, Fadel once again leaves the scene as a winner.
Oh, and by the way: Style is back to the polite phom/khun for this entire scene. Fadel also continues to use phom/khun.
No. 7: Anything for the Car
Fadel has left Style standing dripping wet at the market place, humiliating him once again and this time in front of dozens of people, even. Style is absolutely done with Fadel now. He's got no interest in any kind of interaction with Fadel anymore, not even to mess with him or try to get revenge again. And I'm sure least of all he would want to flirt with him. He even tells Kant "Ain't no way I'm doing it."
Style is done, he doesn't want any part of this anymore. But Kant manages to convince Style. Style gives in and agrees to try once more because he does want to help his beloved bestie (who he believes to be head over heels in love for the first time) and because his beloved car is still waiting for him, too.
I think, though, that if Kant hadn't talked him into it again, Style would have actually left Fadel alone from now on. He hadn't really been getting anything out of his interactions with Fadel. All he was getting was getting yelled at, getting hurt, and getting humiliated on multiple occasions. I think at this point going after Fadel is a waste of time for Style that is just not worth it. But then Kant shows up, practically begs him to continue bothering Fadel, and Style is like ughhh fine okay and goes to try again under the condition that Kant helps him figure out what Fadel likes so that Style has at least something to connect with Fadel over.
No. 8: Good Morning Krub
The last time Style talked to Fadel, Fadel left him standing dripping wet and humiliated in a market full of people. You'd think that Style would be accordingly irritated the next time he comes face to face with him and that Style would turn up his level of annoyingness again in order to get back at Fadel for it. But no. This time when Style approaches Fadel, he's not actively trying to be annoying, he doesn't approach Fadel with the purpose of being annoying.
Yes, he bugs Fadel again and yes, he is a little annoying about it, but I think this time it comes as a byproduct of the fact that Style is talking to a man here who he in reality doesn't really wanna talk to and who doesn't really wanna talk to him either. And yet, Style doesn't really wanna be annoying here. After his talk with Kant it's like Style tries to almost start "fresh" again. When he approaches Fadel, Style kind of genuinely tries now (for Kant. And the car. But I think he's mainly doing it in support of Kant this time).
And yes, he's being kinda loud and obnoxious, but that's just Style's personality. He actually tries to have a civil, almost amiable conversation again, similar the way he tried during their second meeting when Fadel dropped off his car at Style's garage. Style tries to be friendly again. It's in the way he's kinda a little amused when Fadel goes "This ain't badminton" after Style asks him to go for a run together and again, Style tries to be nice and friendly about it when he says that doing things in pairs is more fun than doing it solo.
But then Fadel opens his water bottle and for one scary moment Style re-lives his market place shower trauma. And he voices his worry out loud. And this is where it gets a little interesting when it comes to Fadel, because Fadel actually has a hint of genuine amusement on his face when he asks if Style is scared:
Style says no, he isn't scared, he's just not prepared to get wet again. And now Fadel is the one to start the teasing. He steps closer and threatens "If you follow me again, you're not just getting soaked next time." But there is no actual malice in his voice, there's no real anger in his tone when he says "You're not just getting soaked next time". And Style recognizes that, he responds to the teasing, the challenge that Fadel has just laid on the table: Style asks "What are you gonna do?", looking curiously and expectantly at Fadel...
And Fadel crushes his foot.
Of course, Fadel does this to one-up Style again and to make it clear how he feels about Style bothering him again when all he wants is some peace and quiet, but interestingly enough, he doesn't make another threat again nor does he order Style to piss off. Instead, Fadel actually invites Style to join him on his run: "If you want to join me, catch up."
It's debatable how serious that invitation actually was, since he literally just hurt Style's foot, getting him out of commission and making it unlikely for Style to actually follow him. And with that invitation Fadel is certainly also rubbing in the fact that he's just hurt Style when he says "catch up", rubbing in an unspoken "you can't anyway when you're in pain". But nevertheless, phrasing it as an invitation for Style to actually join him on the run is a risky move if Fadel is set on running solo, because there is still a chance that Style's determination and persistence is big enough that he bites through the pain and follows Fadel anyway. By now Fadel knows very well that Style is slightly unhinged and Fadel has no way of knowing what move Style is going to pull, no way of knowing if the pain is big enough to keep him from following Fadel or if he'll come running after Fadel after all. There is a real chance that Style actually would follow Fadel and Fadel seems to be okay with that possibility. Style doesn't try to catch up, though. Style has other plans.
Pronoun situation: they both use phom/khun throughout the entire scene.
No. 8: 10 Things I Hate About You (Style's Version)
When talking to Fadel just now, Style wasn't actually trying to be annoying, didn't mean to be annoying. Then Fadel crushed his foot. So now Style of course has to go be annoying again. Style shouting his encouragement and cheerleading chants at Fadel across the entire sports field isn't Style trying to flirt with Fadel. It's him being annoying on purpose to get back at Fadel for the pain in his foot. And it works. Fadel is annoyed.
No. 9: Moonlight Chick– Oh Wait Wrong Show
After that recent period where Style was completely done with Fadel and was starting to seriously dislike Fadel, wanting nothing to do with him anymore, this is now the point where Style is starting to actually have fun messing with Fadel again. Style is no longer pissed or holding any grudges. And while he is a little bit annoying on purpose here, his behaviour isn't motivated by trying to get revenge on Fadel. No, Style is now playing with Fadel and thoroughly enjoying himself now.
And he's not playing with Fadel in the sense of he's playing some sort of battle of powers where he tries to one-up Fadel like in some earlier instances before, no. It's more of a friendly sort of playfulness, he's trying to actively engage with Fadel, almost as if trying to get him to loosen up a bit. Which is why Style also immediately yields when Fadel says he'll go to a different store. Style doesn't want Fadel to go, Style wants Fadel to stay, he wants Fadel to engage with him too, wants Fadel to play along with him. Fadel humors him, albeit begrudgingly so. And Style is quite happy about that:
Pronoun situation: they use phom/khun throughout the entire scene.
No. 10: First To Eat... You
Fadel has humored Style and has let him help him with the groceries. Now he wants him gone. Style refuses to leave. Fadel doesn't care to argue anymore at this point. He's tired and he just wants to open his restaurant. So when Style sits down instead of walking out the door, Fadel can't be bothered to argue anymore and moves towards the kitchen. He doesn't make a single attempt to throw Style out, and I think Style sees that as a good sign, because he drops his "I'd like to be the first to eat… you" line. I don't think he's actively trying to hit on Fadel with this line here. I think he is trying to test the waters, wants to know how Fadel will accept his advances. Because right after he drops his line, he carefully checks Fadel's reaction:
And when Fadel just walks away wordlessly, Style shakes his head and stares after him, as if he's thinking to himself "This is never going to work, this man is impossible to get through to":
This is reflected also in the scene with Bison shortly after this where Bison tells Style to actually go for Fadel if Style happens to fall for him for real. It's reflected in the way Style is all "yeah that ain't happening, he can't even talk to me nicely". And when Bison goes "Fadel is rough on the outside and on the inside" and tells Style to give Fadel a good beating, Style looks at Bison with a kinda sceptical and hopeless expression. Then Bison walks away and Style thinks about it for a bit and then sighs, almost as if to say ooof, okay fine, let's do this, let's try this.
I think the conversation with Bison was another push to make him genuinely wanna try the flirting thing. Not just for revenge, not just because he wants to mess with Fadel and rile him up, not just because he enjoys being playful with Fadel. But because he genuinely wants to help his best friend and his potential one true love. And maybe, as @secriden points out, maybe also because he's starting to get curious what it is about Fadel, what's behind his thick high walls, if there's anything that makes Fadel worth the time and the effort, makes him worth loving.
Pronoun situation: they use phom/khun throughout the entire scene. (And so do Bison and Style, btw.)
No. 11: Cooking Show
With all these questions and the curiosity in mind after the talk with Bison, when Style shows up in the kitchen I think he isn't actually trying to be annoying at all, nor is he trying to flirt. I think he's trying to make friends with Fadel. Style is again trying to get Fadel to loosen up, to open up, is trying to connect with Fadel in an amiable way through something that Fadel is clearly passionate about. That's where he's coming from when Style starts pretending to be a commentator in a cooking show.
And Fadel? Actually plays along just a little bit. He's not very enthusiastic about it, but he's not complaining either. Except the more into his commentator role Style gets, the more annoyed Fadel gets and in the end he almost rolls his eyes kinda like "will this guy ever shut the fuck up":
Pronoun situation: Style uses phom/khun. Fadel doesn't use any pronouns. In fact, he doesn't say a single word at all in this scene.
No. 12: Spotter
I think this is the first time where Style approaches Fadel with the actual goal of flirting. He doesn't approach Fadel in order to be annoying in an attempt to get revenge on him, nor to mess with him because he's having fun riling Fadel up, nor does he approach him in a playful manner for his own enjoyment. No, I think this is the first time Style actively tries to flirt.
It's in the way he takes note of Fadel's veins. It's in the way he says he wants to build muscles because "maybe one day I'll look as good as you", while shamelessly showing off the muscles he's already got. It's in the way he talks about getting frustrated at night and needing to let off steam (ahem...) (somebody sure will be letting off steam by the end of the evening). It's in the way he puts his knee between Fadel's legs, right by his dick. It's in the little encouraging nod and look he throws Fadel when he tells him he can call for Style at any time if he needs a spotter and that he'll be around.
And well, we all know this lowkey totally kinda works on Fadel.
Pronoun situation: still khun/phom for both of them.
No. 13: Sauna
Again, I don't think Style is being annoying on purpose here but rather Fadel just happens to be annoyed with him because Style shows up again and then just keeps talking and talking and never shuts up. Like yeah, of course that's annoying, but that's also simply just Style's personality. Style is talkative after all.
Style is being playful again, mixed with some genuine flirting (like when he gets naked right in front of Fadel's salad and when he gives Fadel permission to look). And I think next to the flirting, he is still attempting to involve Fadel in an actual amiable conversation and is still genuinely trying to connect with Fadel, trying to learn more about him (like when he asks about why he opened a burger joint specifically). Fadel tells him to shut up. Fadel does not wanna be involved in any amiable conversations with Style.
But Style doesn't give up and immediately goes on to the next topic (the meaning of Fadel's name). He also can't help teasing Fadel a little (when he says Fadel isn't generous) but the teasing isn't really malicious, it's more playful, and somehow it works on Fadel, and Style actually manages to almost get into Fadel's pants under Fadel's towel. Well, until that man walks in, ruining the moment.
Pronoun situation: still khun/phom for both of them.
No. 14: Love at First Sight
Style is looking for Fadel and I assume he wants to follow up on where they left off in the sauna just now? But then Fadel corners him in the locker room and this is where it gets really interesting again because with all that talk about "love at first sight" and with the kisses he's planting on Fadel you'd think Style was actively flirting, but that's just not at all what is happening here.
When Fadel throws Style against the lockers, he openly declares war on Style. And it's not just through the aggressive shove and the choking alone, no. If you've been wondering why I've made a point in keeping up with the pronoun use, it's for this and this scene alone. Up until the point where Fadel runs out of the sauna, the two of them have almost consistently been using the polite pronouns phom and khun for each other, save for a few exceptions here and there in some particular instances. Fadel runs from the sauna, and the very first sentence out of his mouth after he's ambushed Style is:
ใครส่งมึงมา
[krai - sòng - mueng - maa]
who - send - you - [past tense marker]
Up until the point he runs away from the sauna, Fadel has only addressed Style using the polite khun. Fadel runs away from the sauna, then ambushes Style, shoves him against the lockers, chokes him, and as if that wasn't enough in addition to that he also changes from addressing Style with the polite khun to addressing him with the very rude mueng. Fadel has just openly declared war on Style. And Style? Style immediately fights back:
ไม่มีใครส่งกูมา
[mâi mee krai - sòng - guu - maa]
no one - send - I/me - [past tense marker]
He too changes from the polite phom to the very rude guu to refer to himself. He has done this before, but this time he actually does it right to Fadel's face. And they stick to guu/mueng for the rest of the scene. Both of them are finally done with the polite language.
Style isn't flirting here, isn't even being annoying on purpose. This is Style fighting. Fighting the battle that Fadel has just opened up. And when he kisses Fadel, he also isn't flirting. No, those kisses are a direct attack. And so is every word that Style utters in this scene.
The past few days I've seen several comments about whether Style is aware that Fadel is sus. Personally, I do think Style realizes (or is starting to realize at least) that Fadel is a lot more dangerous than Style had originally thought. And I think what clues Style in is the way Fadel is so set on Style having been sent by someone and persistent in his questions about who sent him. And also in the end when Fadel goes "don't say I didn't warn you", I think that that's also another moment of realization for Style. Like, Fadel is seriously pissed at this point and I think Style absolutely takes note of that. Not to mention how sus it was to Style already when Fadel didn't have the paperwork for his car or let him get close to his car the night of the accident. And now coupled with this ambush, I think all of it gives Style a hint that there's something very off about Fadel. There are only a couple more hours to go until episode 3 and I can't wait to see how this will continue.
one thing i really love about the lilly confrontation in ep12 is how even though style is only a supporting character in that scene and the camera isn't on him all that much, you can still clearly see just how worried style is about his dad. like, of course the first thing out of his mouth is "dad" and he's looking at him
but it's not just that. style's dad asks what's going on and we get reaction shots of everyone else (not style), and when the camera goes back to the wide shot while lilly says "i'll tell you soon" we can see that style is still staring at his dad
in fact, right before it cuts away to a different shot, style actually moves his leg as if he wants to take a step towards his dad, as if he wants nothing more than to run to him, to check on him, to make sure he's safe and uninjured and to rescue him somehow:
style wants nothing more but to run to his dad and to check on him. the camera cuts to lilly inviting everyone to sit down and style must have finally looked over to her in reaction to her talking, because when the camera cuts to the group style is looking at lilly at first, but then his eyes immediately move towards his dad again and he's scrunching his eyebrows and you can tell how worried he is. the only question on his mind right now is whether his dad is okay. everything within him is pulling him towards his dad
then bison takes a small, hesitant step towards the table
and with that, style knows he's finally allowed to get close to his dad without risking something bad happening. this is the moment style's been waiting for. the second style knows he can safely start moving, he instantly rushes to his dad with no hesitation, practically runs to him while he keeps his eyes totally fixed on his dad
even when style is sitting down he never takes his eyes off of his dad and i love that we can tell despite the fact that we only see the back of style's head
style sits and he's still staring at his dad and his dad looks back at him and there's some silent communication happening between them, as if style is asking are you okay? are you well? are you hurt? and his dad is like i'm fine, but what's all this?
after this, there are a few other shots in between while lilly is starting to bring style's dad up to speed, and it's only now that style can afford to focus on lilly, now that he's made sure his dad is (mostly) (physically, at least) fine:
lilly now has this whole monologue, with her sons chiming in:
LILLY: You probably don’t know, but your son, and your brother, together with my sons, threw me in jail. They probably thought I’d be in there for life. They must have forgotten that money can buy even freedom.
FADEL: What the hell do you want now?
LILLY: Is that how you talk to your mother, Fadel? I lost everything because of you. My reputation, the trust I built, my connection, even my employees… Everything was ruined because of you.
BISON: As it should be. You don’t deserve anything. Let them go and deal with me!
LILLY: What satisfaction would that give me?
style focuses on lilly throughout her whole monologue and we can mostly see the side/back of his head whenever the camera pans out to this shot:
i don't know what emotions are happening on his face since we can't exactly see it, but i think he's paying close attention to what lilly is saying and doing so that he can be ready to jump in at any second if things take a turn for the worse and there's something he can do to save the situation (similar to when keen had him and fadel at gun point in ep10)
kant now decides to speak up and offers his life in exchange for his brother's, and style immediately jumps on it as well and tells lilly that she can do anything to him (style), but to let his dad go.
and after style says that, after style announces that he's willing to sacrifice himself, he again turns his head to his dad and there's again some kind of silent dialogue going on between them as his dad looks at him for a moment, too, before they both put their attention on lilly again:
and i love that style is communicating with his dad again at this very point, because style offering himself up will also affect his dad. his dad might be physically fine if style trades his dad for himself, but emotionally the dad will be ruined if lilly takes his son's life, especially when he's already had to deal with the loss of his wife years ago. style being willing to sacrifice himself isn't nothing, in fact, it's a very big deal and so the two of them communicate about it
lilly continues to talk:
So it was your hero complex that made Fadel and Bison fall head over heels for you. Don’t worry. I prepared some drinks for everyone. You will all… die here together.
and again style is focused on lilly while she talks, paying close attention (i think. it's not like i can see his face, sigh)
because lilly is now the most immediate danger and it's vital for style to know what she's doing in case she is planning on attacking his dad or whatever else she could be doing. then style has dialogue that directly addresses his dad, so obviously he'd be looking at him
and what i adore is that after this style keeps his eyes fixed on his dad again even when it cuts back out to the wide shot and it's only when lilly opens her mouth and continues to talk that style slowly draws his attention back to her
the brothers start pleading with their mother now and we don't see style for quite a long time. it's only after lilly says she'll spare her sons' boyfriends if her sons poison their family members that we're shown style's reaction again. at first he's looking straight ahead before he turns his head and i'm guessing he's looking at kant, communicating with him (or at least trying to? kant isn't looking at him in the shot right beforehand) and then he turns to look at his dad again, in shock
potentially he might also be looking at fadel instead, here. it's a bit hard to tell from this angle and we don't get a shot of someone responding to him, it just cuts straight to lilly. both versions would be coherent: if style is looking at his dad, it's in a fuck is my dad going to die? sort of way and if he's looking at fadel it would be something more like fuck what do we do you're not actually killing him are you?
style's definitely looking at fadel when he says "mueng" after fadel says he can follow lilly's order
it's a please don't do this, please don't kill my dad and maybe also a little bit of a there's gotta be a better way out, right? we gotta be able to come up with something, right?
in the next shot it's a bit hard to tell if style is looking at lilly or at fadel, but judging by how much we can see of his jaw/cheek i think he's looking at fadel, actually
because this is style's head position looking at lilly, we can clearly see the side of his cheek as well as his chin:
when he's looking at his dad we see absolutely no cheek and no chin, just his hair, just the back of his head:
and so i think this is him looking at fadel, because we see mostly the back of his head, but also a tiny little bit of his cheek, telling us he hasn't turned his head all the way to the side:
it would certainly make sense if he was looking at fadel in the context of the scene, because now fadel is the most immediate danger to style's dad if fadel really does give style's dad the poisoned drink, not lilly. it's fadel's actions that matter now, whether style's dad lives or dies depends entirely on what fadel does now
and so style watches fadel closely when fadel lifts the cup and while i do think style kind of trusted fadel not to kill his dad, style was most definitely nervous and was ready to jump in at any moment
fadel and bison do save the day and kill lilly in the end
anyway, the point of this post is i just love how focused style is on his dad in the beginning of the scene when he doesn't yet know if his dad is alright and i love the silent communication happening between them throughout the scene, even though both of them end up as background characters in the brothers vs mother showdown. the actors didn't forget to play the relationship that their characters have with each other and it fills me with so much joy. because style and his dad is easily my favorite non-romantic relationship in this show (save for maybe fadel and bison) and we've been told (and shown) over and over again how important style and his dad are to each other and i'm sooooo so happy that the actors kept this relationship up and kept telling their story consistently even when their characters were by far not the main focus of the scene
Oof. This took me way longer than planned. Partly, because I had some uni assignments to work on and partly, because I went home the weekend after episode 8 dropped and ended up binging the entirety of Star in My Mind with my mother. On her request, btw. Who am I to say no to my mother when she wants to watch a JoongDunk show for the 3rd time together. I actually meant to upload it a day or two ago, but then I kept realizing and noticing and remembering details that I really wanted to add, some of which were also language related, so I then needed to check with my Thai language correspondents which also took some time as I waited for their replies.
But here it finally is! I know in my last meta I said it was my longest one yet, but this one's even longer, actually. Watch my metas hit 20k words by the end of the series lmao. Anyway, enjoy. And apologies in advance if my ep9 meta is also late, since I had to finish this one first. I promise I'll try my best to get it done before ep10 <3
Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise.
To recap: So Fadel and Bison found out. Fadel and Bison are mad. Fadel and Bison want to kill Kant and Style. Style was drugged, kidnapped, found himself tied up at a pool staring down the barrel of his own boyfriend's gun, survived, and then drove off into the sunset, uh, I mean went on a little road trip in search of his best friend and his boyfriend's brother/best friend's boyfriend. As bleak as things may seem with Style being back at square one with the added challenge that Fadel now actively wants to kill him, this, at the same time, may be one of the best things that has ever happened to Style, because finally everything is out in the open. Style no longer has any secrets to keep (except for the deal with the car) and he can finally be brutally honest in everything he says and everything he does.
No. 1: Midnight Mote– Oh Wait Wrong Show
We meet them as they're pulling into the parking lot of a motel. Since it seems to be pretty late at night, I think it's fairly safe to assume that they were driving all day, likely non-stop. The first thing out of Style's mouth is a horny line. "Why are we at a motel? Did you get turned on while we were on the way or what?" And just from that line alone we can actually see how far he's come since the beginning of the series and how far he's come in his feelings for Fadel too. Remember my first few metas about the first few episodes of the show and how I would go into whether Style really meant his flirty comment or not? I don't think in this moment Style was actually trying to seduce Fadel (we know how he acts when he does want to seduce him and we'll even get to see an example of it in just a bit once they're in the room), but it's still very different from his flirty/horny comments in the first couple of episodes in the series where he also wasn't really genuinely trying to seduce Fadel. Back then, a lot of his comments were very loud in a performative kind of way, as if he was saying them for an audience, not because he actually meant what he said. This one here? There is absolutely none of that loud, performative energy to be found. No, Style makes this comment very casually, almost matter-of-factly even as if he's asking something like So, what do you want for dinner tonight?
It's no longer a performance to him. In fact, he's quite serious about it and while it was an offhanded rhetorical question, it still almost sounds like an honest question. The flirting is no longer a joke to Style the way it was in the first three episodes of the series. He genuinely wants to know. But Fadel shuts him down and orders him to get out of the car. Style is a bit annoyed at the dismissal, but by now he's also used to it. After all, he did spend four episodes doing nothing but hitting one wall after the other. And just like back then, he won't let Fadel shake him off that easily. So Style complains: "I'm just curious so I know what to expect. It's not like I can just turn the switch on, you know?" Again, this is not a performance. In fact, this time around, he's even more serious than compared to his comment before. He may not be planning on actively seducing Fadel right here right now in the car, but who is Style to say no if the opportunity to sleep with Fadel arises? For Style, sleeping with Fadel is absolutely on the table if Fadel makes the offer. And so Style lets him know. "I'm just curious so I know what to expect." Will you be sleeping with me? Are you planning on sleeping with me? At the same time this also serves as a way for Style to indirectly find out why Fadel led them to this motel in the first place and what Fadel's real plans are, because I'm sure with the way Fadel is still waving his gun around and threatening Style, Style doesn't expect Fadel to actually be up for sleeping with him right now.
Fadel takes a moment to reply and there is an interesting expression on Style's face as he waits for an answer:
Style is watching him carefully, really observing Fadel's face. He's done this before when he's hit Fadel with a flirty or suggestive line, but where before his expression would always be one of excitement or amusement or curiosity or sometimes even smugness, this time it's completely serious. It's almost as if Style is searching for something. But searching for what?
Of course, he's searching for the real reason they're here. But more importantly, his word choice was very deliberate. As I mentioned above, I don't think Style is actively trying to seduce Fadel with his flirty lines. I think he's more testing the waters. Because while yes, Fadel has slept with him before and yes, Fadel is in love with him and Style knows it (he will later confirm it for himself at the end of the episode), the problem is that Fadel is also very pissed at him right now and is actively planning to kill him, has actively tried to kill him only hours ago, actually. If that doesn't send confusing signals, then I don't even know anymore. And so Style needs to figure out where exactly he stands with Fadel right now – that's what Style is searching for when he's staring at Fadel. He's trying to see how far Fadel has pushed him away now that the lies have come to light, is trying to find out how close Fadel will let him come now that Fadel has calmed down a bit from his tantrum at the pool. Will Fadel let Style get close enough again to maybe even be willing to sleep with him like before? Is their relationship maybe not in ruins yet? Has Fadel's anger faded enough? Does Style still have a chance with him? Is there a chance they can go back to the happiness they shared before all hell broke loose? This matters to Style and it matters a lot. And so he tries to look for the answers in Fadel's face as he waits for Fadel's reply. And after a moment, Fadel lifts his gun and hits him with:
I didn't take you here to sleep with you.
กูไม่ได้พามึงมาเอาเนาะ
[guu mâi dâai paa mueng maa ao nó]
I - not - take - you - come - sleep with - [particle]
Official subs: I'm not sleeping with you.
Sex is not the purpose for which Fadel made Style drive to a motel of all places. Fadel informs Style that this is where he's meeting Bison and repeats his order for Style to get out of the car. Style actually stares at Fadel for a second before he reacts:
This is the second right before Style turns his head and says he'll wait. And again I think this is him taking in Fadel's response and his brain working out where exactly Fadel has put him now. That's important info for Style to know. Style needs to understand where exactly he stands, because he needs to find out how much distance precisely it is that he has to overcome so that he can figure out a way to overcome said distance. Because Style doesn't want there to be any distance between the two of them at all. But Fadel clearly won't let Style get anywhere close right now. So Style turns his head and announces that he'll be waiting in the car. He's not in the mood to follow along, Fadel is a big boy and can go and get his brother by himself. Fadel, however, isn't in the mood to play either. He points his gun at Style's head again and tells him no. Style will not be waiting in the car. Style looks severely unimpressed.
Fadel orders Style to follow him, and in fact, not just to follow Fadel but walk in front of him, actually, thank you very much. And yes, Fadel does literally say "follow me", not "come along":
ตามกูมา
[dtaam - guu - maa]
follow - me - come
Official subs: You come with me.
As a translation student I think it's a shame the translator didn't stick to a literal translation here, because I think it's pretty funny how Fadel is all "follow me" at first until he remembers that "following" implies walking behind someone and then changes his mind and tells Style to take the lead instead so that Fadel can actually keep an eye on him and threaten him with his gun if need may be. With Fadel ordering Style to walk behind him at first, I think it highlights his unspoken threat of "Walk in front of me (where I can see you)" even more and it's a shame the translator removed that. But despite the threat, Style just continues to be unimpressed. In fact, Fadel is really starting to get on Style's nerves now. And so he rolls his eyes and sighs the biggest sigh ever to make sure Fadel really can't miss how Style feels about this, how he feels about getting out of that car, how he feels about Fadel bossing him around and threatening him and waving a gun in his face.
Style is so fucking done with Fadel's stupid fucking act. And Style knows it's an act, he knows Fadel won't be killing him. At least not any time soon. And especially not right here in the parking lot of this motel. Fadel steps out of the car and Style watches him, then shakes his head, annoyed, before he follows Fadel's lead and gets out of the car as well.
They make their way towards the aunty and Fadel actually does fall behind Style as they walk. Once they reach the aunty, Fadel starts questioning her about Bison. She recognizes Bison in the photo, but hasn't seen him in a while. Aunty is worried and asks if he ran away from home. Style immediately jumps in and comes up with a reasonable story.
@secriden has an interesting thought about this:
[T]he story Style comes up with about why they're looking for a missing person on their own like this (instead of, y'know, going to the police like upright, non-hitman citizens would've) was really good to explain their urgency/frustration and preempt any suspicion so that the auntie is unlikely to report them to the cops. Style is actively, genuinely helping Fadel out and using his excellent skills at playing Asian aunties to full effect for him.
Ugh, just look at how earnest and worried Style's expression is!? He totally disarms the auntie while I bet she would've been a lot more suspicious and distrustful if grumpy face on the left had come asking questions alone.
I think this is certainly an aspect of it, but I'm not sure how much of it is Style consciously doing this in order to help Fadel out and to keep the aunty from getting too suspicious and how much of it is Style acting on instinct. Not to mention, part of this is definitely also Style just being a chatty cat, ready to strike up a conversation with anyone who'll listen to him talk. Especially when it involves aunties that he can easily wrap around his finger with his charm. That is Style's personality after all.
I also love how Style drops the "boyfriend" without a second thought. Because obviously they are still boyfriends. Yes, Fadel drugged him and kidnapped him and pulled a gun on him and nearly killed him, but never once did he utter the words "I'm breaking up with you" or "This relationship is over". So of course this relationship is very much still on. Why wouldn't it be?
Though let me just say, I don't think Style necessarily called Fadel his boyfriend deliberately in this moment in the sense that he is actively trying to send some kind of underlying message to Fadel. I mean, in a way yes, but this boyfriend mention is very casual (as if it's the most self-evident thing in the world) and so I don't think his main goal here is to send some kind of deliberate pointed message along the lines of Do you hear that Fadel, I truly love you and I still consider you my boyfriend to Fadel, because if that were the case, he would have highlighted the word "boyfriend" more. Style will be calling Fadel his boyfriend very deliberately and pointedly later in the episode after a certain confrontation. But for now, this underlying message is more of a side thought.
Aunty asks if the two of them want a room. Style say yes. Fadel says no. Style insists. He's tired and there's no point in continuing their search for Bison right now. Fadel is stubborn. They have to keep going. Style starts getting overdramatic and flaunts his waist. Aunty supports Style. She refers to Style as Fadel's boyfriend. Style throws Fadel a pleased, warm look and raises his eyebrows at him. See? She's on my side. I'm winning this. Fadel says Style isn't his boyfriend. We don't even get to see Style's reaction to that claim, so I guess it couldn't have hit him too hard. Maybe he was even half expecting this sort of reaction with the way Fadel has been pulling back from him and has been rebuilding his walls.
Aunty tells them she'll be putting them in a special room and Fadel doesn't argue. Aunty presents them with lube and a condom. Style throws Fadel an amused and a little smug look.
No. 2: Of Mechanics and Race Car Beds
Fadel is having one of the worst nights of his life. That special room is very much not to his liking. Style, though, loves it. Obviously. Although, I think he also partly says it to be extra nice to the aunty to make up for Fadel being such a grumpy cat and partly as a way to get under Fadel's skin. The "Fast. Hard. Furious." part especially is a direct message to Fadel. Style is being a little shit again in order to get through to Fadel, but what's different now compared to the early episodes is that there is so much more fondness that comes with it. When he smiles at Fadel afterwards, there is amusement in his expression, but moreover there is so much warmth and affection as well. There's even an air of playful innocence about it like Don't you agree, baby? 😇
The aunty leaves and Style comments on how he's never had sex in a car before (and to those who are calling bullshit on that statement, let me just point out: he said he never had sex in a car, he didn't say anything about never having had sex with a car. I mean, we all saw how he touched Kant's car back in episode 1 🤭🤭🤭). Style takes off his shirt, throws it at Fadel, leans onto the windshield of the car and says some very flirty and suggestive things. Fadel finally gets up from his spot in the very last corner of the room, walks up to Style, grabs his hand and leads it down his own body. Then Fadel leans in for a kiss, only to handcuff Style to the bed.
This whole scene is very reminiscent of the kitchen scene at the start of episode 4. In both scenes Style says flirty and suggestive shit with the actual goal of getting into Fadel's pants, in both scenes Style makes a comment about how it's like a sex fantasy (Note: in episode 4 the subs say "wild", but since he is literally saying an English loanword I think you can hear it for yourself and don't need me to spell it out for you in Thai like I usually do), in both scenes Fadel is trying to push Style away, in both scenes Style is also trying to annoy Fadel in some way. And yet both of these scenes go very differently.
In my ep4 meta I discussed why Style genuinely meant all the flirting in the scene and how he was genuinely trying to get into Fadel's pants, but there is one aspect I actually didn't really mention, partly because I was focusing on other things and partly because back then I didn't yet have the comparison of how Style's flirting would be like once they were in an actual relationship and real romantic feelings were involved. I've mentioned before how when Style is saying suggestive things without actually meaning them in the earlier episodes his voice will be louder and his tone much more performative while when he is sincere in his sexual flirting his voice will go more quiet. When Style goes into his whole "I know a guy like you just needs a little nudge" spiel in episode 4 his voice is a lot more quiet than it usually is compared to the insincere flirting which is why (amongst other reasons I discuss in my ep4 meta) I think he definitely meant it, but (and this following part I didn't mention back then) there is something about his tone of voice and also the way he grabs Fadel's crotch in such a rough, unsexy way that makes me think he was also trying to piss Fadel off a bit. It's not just flirting, but it's a challenge too. Because Fadel keeps claiming he didn't miss Style when Style failed to show up at Fadel's usual spots, keeps claiming that Style is only a bother to him. And so I think, as much as Style was genuinely up for sleeping with Fadel for a second time (the same way something else was, ahem, up that morning when Style awoke from his blissful dream), I think he was also using the chance to try and get under Fadel's skin again, trying to break down Fadel's walls even more, trying to make him admit that he was thinking about Style and that he had grown to like him.
Now in episode 8 Style doesn't need Fadel to admit his feelings anymore. Fadel is his boyfriend already, they've slept together on multiple occasions, and have also gotten to know each other on a deeper emotional level. Yes, Fadel has put his walls back up now that the truth is out, but now Style also knows what lies behind those walls. And so in this scene in the motel room he actively annoys Fadel on purpose, first of all by being flirty in the first place (Style knows exactly that Fadel isn't here to sleep with him since Fadel explicitly told him so when they arrived and also because Fadel is still mad at him) and second of all by throwing his shirt at Fadel, which I think is an attempt at kind of connecting to/making contact with Fadel who retreated all the way into the last corner of the room and an attempt at getting some kind of reaction/engagement out of him. He's trying to get Fadel out of his shell again. And what I've also seen someone note somewhere in the tags is how Style's shirt says "control". Style rids himself of "control" and throws it at Fadel. And we see that in the way he acts.
In the kitchen, even if he let Fadel take the lead once Fadel grabbed his waist and put him onto the table, in the beginning it was still Style who initiated everything, it was Style who moved closer to Fadel and who started touching him. Now in the motel, Style lets Fadel fully be in control from the start. Instead of getting closer to Fadel, Style now stays put exactly where he is. Instead of touching Fadel suggestively as Style did in the kitchen and is generally keen on doing whenever he genuinely wants to get into Fadel's pants, he leans on the windshield of the car and puts himself on display completely, flaunts himself, offers himself to Fadel in a way that screams here I am, take me any time. Style stays put, doesn't touch Fadel, and instead waits as he leaves the choice to engage entirely up to Fadel. Fadel can have him whenever he's ready. Style won't force Fadel before he is ready, but he will make sure that Fadel knows loud and clear that Style's offer is on the table.
Style's tone is also fully grounded and serious now as well as very calm. It's the complete opposite of his loud, showy, performative behavior from the first three episodes when he was trying to "seduce" Fadel and was spewing insincere words. And when he smiles at Fadel, he's kinda amused but there is also so much warmth behind in his expression:
Fadel finally gets up and engages with Style and it's interesting, because back during episode 4 in the kitchen I already thought Style was serious about hooking up with Fadel and it's just so cool to see just how much more serious Style actually gets now that strong romantic feelings are involved. If you watch the kitchen scene from episode 4 and the motel scene from episode 8 back to back you can absolutely tell in which of these scenes Style is full on in love. And what else is interesting is that even though in the kitchen scene from episode 4 Style 10000% means every single thing he says and genuinely wants to hook up with Fadel right then and there, there is still some sort of performative air to his lines when he says "Oh, we’re doing it in the kitchen?" and "Wild. I like it". In episode 4, Style had just found out from the market aunty that his strategy of staying away did have an effect on Fadel, but when Style calls him out on it, Fadel keeps rejecting him and keeps telling him to piss off. And while Style's gut feeling tells him that Fadel does feel something for him, Style doesn't actually know. Because Fadel keeps saying otherwise and keeps pushing him away. But in the kitchen Style genuinely wants something from Fadel and I think when Style makes his comments while Fadel is putting him on the table his words aren't entirely grounded not because he's being insincere, but because he's trying to play it cool. I think he's trying to hide how desperate he is for Fadel to reciprocate his blossoming feelings.
Now in episode 8, though? Style is no longer desperate for it. Sure, Fadel is currently pushing him away again all the time, but it's okay. Because unlike in episode 4, Style now knows for a fact that they're in love. That Fadel is in love with him, too. Fadel is mad at him right now, but that will pass. Style can see right through Fadel now. So when Fadel comes over to (seemingly) go along with Style's seduction, Style doesn't say a word. He doesn't need to anymore. He doesn't have anything to prove anymore. He is confident about their mutual feelings and their relationship now.
Something that both the ep4 kitchen scene and the ep8 motel room scene, and actually also the ep3 storage room scene share is how Style lets Fadel take the lead. Style isn't forcing himself onto Fadel, he sits back and lets Fadel do whatever Fadel wants to do to him. Fadel grabs Style's hand and leads it down his chest. Style follows with curiosity, looking pleased, clearly happy that finally Fadel is actually engaging instead of pushing him away and definitely also excited about the prospect of getting some despite their quarrel. Fadel leans in for a kiss and Style follows and—
Before Style knows it, Fadel has handcuffed him to the bed. Kissing is off the table after all, it seems. In episode 4, Style was extremely hurt by Fadel's rejection. Now in episode 8, he's still pretty miffed about it, but he is in no way as hurt as he was that time in the kitchen. Because by now Fadel has done this to him enough times that Style is used to it and maybe even expected it deep down. And also, as I mentioned before, their relationship is on a very different level now. Fadel handcuffs Style and Style is disappointed, but not surprised. Mostly he is just kinda annoyed that Fadel is still keeping up this stupid act. "What the hell? I ain't running away, you know?"
In episode 4, Style ran off, hurt and humiliated and very enraged. In episode 8, Style stays put. Not that he could have gotten very far even if he had wanted to run off, but Style genuinely doesn't even want to. In episode 4, Style spent quite a long time being angry at Fadel for dumping him like that. In episode 8, Style is annoyed for like a second upon realizing what Fadel's plan had been all along, but then he immediately gets over it and meets Fadel with love and warmth instead. Fadel says "I don't trust you" and Style does talk back, but it's more of an affectionate teasing than an attempt at instigating an actual argument. Style almost smiles at Fadel after he says "And if I need to take a piss?" Fadel lets him know that he will be uncuffing him for that if need may be and Style lowers his gaze. He sees the complimentary gifts and playfully starts teasing Fadel about using them. And unlike earlier, I think this time with that kind, warm smile Style is throwing Fadel, Style's comments about chains and whips and using the complimentary gifts weren't actually meant as genuine seduction. No, I think that was Style's way of saying Hey, I'm not upset with you for chaining me to the bed, I'm not holding that against you. But would you please just drop the act and stop pushing me away all the time?
But Fadel grabs his chin and tells no, he will not be dropping the act: "Didn't you say you're tired? I bet it's because you run your mouth too much. Shut up and go to sleep." Style smiles at Fadel again towards the end of Fadel's new rejection, but that smile falls as soon as Fadel walks away.
And I don't think it falls because Style is frustrated that he won't be getting laid that evening after all. I think Style is genuinely disappointed that Fadel continues to push him away like that, that Fadel keeps insisting on being stubborn and keeps refusing to communicate and engage with Style no matter how clear Style makes it that he's not holding a grudge about anything that happened that day, from the drugging to the kidnapping to the attempted murder to the blue-balling. And in addition I think Style is also a little hurt that Fadel won't just trust him at least even a little bit and is hurt that Fadel keeps acting so distant and stand-offish. Style just wants his boyfriend and his happy relationship back.
No. 3: Deliver A Message
Now this scene is interesting because it left some people confused from what I've seen. Is Style being serious with his crying or not? Is he playing Fadel? Especially with the upbeat music that was put in the background at the beginning of the scene, it's all very confusing. There's another reason why I think this particular scene is confusing (and which was the reason why it confused me in the beginning as well), but that's a topic for a whole separate post. (Side note: While I was still working on this meta, I actually ended up getting an anon about this crying scene and sooo this "separate post" might actually follow at some point, even if I hadn't been planning on actually writing it when I was typing the previous sentence. Stay tuned.) I think multiple readings of this scene can co-exist, but for now I just wanna share what I personally think is happening in this scene.
First and foremost let me just say that I don't think Style is necessarily playing Fadel. If anything, he may be playing the drama up a bit like he tends to do, because that's simply just his personality. He has a tendency to be a bit more dramatic than necessary. But even if he is playing it up, I think it absolutely comes from a genuine place. After all, Style is only human and he has had quite an eventful day. Let's recap...
The day started with Style showing up at the hospital, already antsy because he couldn't reach Kant which was worrisome especially in the context of Fadel's threatening warning of "the two of us have business to finish with the two of you" from the night before. So Style shows up at the hospital, only to find out that his best friend was kidnapped by an actual assassin who is very capable of murdering Kant (Style doesn't know Bison as well as he knows Fadel, so Style has no way to tell whether Bison loves Kant enough to spare Kant's life the way Style can tell with Fadel). And immediately after that he gets ambushed and drugged, which absolutely is a traumatizing thing to go through and certainly must have had some effect on Style, if just subconsciously. Then, he finds himself tied up naked at a pool, which again, would generally be a traumatizing situation to find yourself in, especially when someone you know is very capable of taking other people's lives comes and continuously waves a gun into your face. And yes, by now Style knows Fadel pretty well and so he didn't feel too threatened, but Fadel was also really angry and Fadel also did punch Style in the gut that one time when Style was overly confident that Fadel liked him enough not to harm him. And I think, even if on a surface level Style didn't feel too threatened by Fadel (because Style has learned to read him) on a subconscious level the knowledge that Fadel certainly could and would shoot at any moment if he got too angry is still there. And right at the end of that scene there was a point where Style was genuinely scared for his life. Again, that's pretty traumatizing. And then he spent all day in a tight space with someone who is angry at him and keeps pointing a gun at him. And then he got chained again. And got pushed away by his boyfriend over and over again. Style is only human. And it makes complete sense for all the emotions that he repressed while he was playing it cool in order to get through these traumatizing events to come bubbling up to a surface level now at night where he finally gets to rest.
Lying there, in bed, at night, about to fall asleep, his brain is finally not busy with keeping him alive anymore. His brain finally has the time and the opportunity to process everything that has happened in the last 24-ish hours. And as he is lying there in bed his brain is probably playing back everything that has happened and is coming up with a lot of "what if" scenarios. What if Fadel had actually killed him at the pool? What if Fadel will actually kill him in the future just like he actually did punch him in the storage room when Style was confident that he wouldn't? Style's death would come with consequences. We've already heard and seen a lot about Style's loving relationship with his dad and it's no wonder Style thinks of him now. Because Style's death would hurt his dad a lot. Style's dad already lost the mother of his son, and now he might lose his only son too? The only family member left in his immediate family? If Style does get murdered, he doesn't wanna die without saying goodbye to his dad. And the only person who would be able to deliver that goodbye message is his own murderer.
I don't think Style meant to cry in the beginning. I do think he was fairly serious in the beginning, but I don't think he was planning on crying about it. It's only when he remembers his mother that it triggers the need to cry, only when he suddenly arrives at his own grief and his own trauma about his mother's death that the tears start flowing. And in my opinion those are real, genuine tears. We've seen Style fake-cry before, we know what his performative crying looks like. Style is a terrible fake-crier and we saw this in episode 4 when he showed up at the Rise Up group meeting for the first time and "cried" about his dog. The crying in the motel bed? Is very far from that.
And it's not just us, the viewers, who know what Style's fake crying looks like. Fadel was at that support group meeting too. Fadel also knows how Style fake-cries. And so when Style starts to cry, Fadel can tell the difference. And it has an effect on him. Except he doesn't really know how to deal with this situation, because Style crying hadn't been part of his plans of kidnapping and killing Style, hadn't been part of his plans to push Style as far away again as possible. And so he awkwardly asks "Are you crying?" (I think a different way to phrase this question would also be "You're crying?") And Style replies in honesty: "Duh. I know I talk all big, but even I am afraid of death."
In the last 24-ish hours Style got to feel genuine fear for his life and Style doesn't want to die. He is not suicidal. And yes, he is cocky and confident (sometimes overly so) and yes, despite all the threats to his life Style simply went about his day as if it's nothing, but as I said, Style still went through a few traumatizing situations in a very short period of time. Of course, it all had an effect on him. Of course part of him would be afraid. Style is human after all. He is human and he is feeling emotions. And he would really need some comfort right now.
Except all he gets is a "stop being dramatic" and an "I don't wanna listen". So Style turns away from Fadel and cries alone in the little corner of privacy he can get in the shared bed that he is currently chained to and can't remove himself from. Style can neither see nor hear nor feel the hand that Fadel is reaching out to him, is unaware of just how much Fadel is longing to give him that comfort Style so desperately needs before Fadel's mind wins over his heart and makes him pull back again.
No. 4: Road Trip Time
It's the next day, Style has rested and from what we can see Fadel has also stopped waving a gun into Style's face almost 24/7. Style is clearly having a blast cruising through the country. However, the car is tired now and refuses to continue on. Turns out the radiator is broken. Fadel mocks Style for being a bad mechanic and instead of taking offense, Style comes back with sass and a Harry Potter reference and mimics shooting Fadel. Remember the "Style + guns" counter from last episode's meta? I know, I know, here in this case it's supposed to be a wand and not a gun, but especially with the sound effect the whole thing is quite reminiscent of a gun shot, so I'm counting it. Our "Style + guns" counter is now at 4.
There is no phone signal, so they have no way of calling for help. Style tells Fadel off for insisting on taking a short cut and Fadel brings up the police. Style responds: "What are you worrying about? I told you I wouldn't run. What do I have to do for you to trust me?" Fun fact, his literal wording when he says "What are you worrying about" is actually "What are you afraid of?" or "What are you scared of?":
มึงกลัวอะไรอ่ะ
[mueng - gluua - àrai - àh]
you - fear, be scared of - what - [particle]
What I love about this is that Style doesn't let Fadel's verbal stabs dampen his good mood too much. He doesn't respond in anger and he's not really annoyed. In fact, when he tells Fadel that he's not running away, he even sounds a bit amused. And when he asks "What do I have to do for you to trust me?", it's not a verbal stab back at Fadel but it's a genuine question. Style honestly wants to know. Fadel tells him "I can no longer trust a single word that comes out of your mouth."
Style smiles and shakes his head in a mix of amusement (because of course Fadel would say that) and exasperation (because Style is getting quite tired of being back at square one and having to go through all the steps again). Style doesn't fight Fadel, though, and instead asks him what he wants to do. However, there is a bit of a bite to his voice, especially in the last sentence when he asks Fadel what he plans to do now, wait for a car to pass by or what? He patiently waits for Fadel's reply. When Fadel tells Style to push the car, Style is obviously not very into that idea but instead of resisting by starting a fight he starts getting over-dramatic about potentially passing out, about the hot weather, about being hungry and so on. Look how poor I am, have some mercy on me. Fadel is unimpressed. He tells Style to stop whining and reminds him that he currently has just one good hand. Style yields, but not without sassing Fadel first: "I'll just die of exhaustion before I ever meet your bullet." Fadel brushes past him to get into the driver's seat (I'm assuming to control the wheels of the car while Style is pushing?) and Style walks behind the car and starts pushing while they continue to bicker.
We don't know how long Style was pushing the car for, but it must have been a while because when Style asks for a break, the road is no longer made of asphalt like it was when the car broke down. Fadel doesn't talk back when Style wants to take a break, instead he wordlessly steps out of the car and lets him have it. On the way to the back of the car, Fadel pulls a paper bag and a water bottle out of his backpack and goes to lean against the trunk of the car while taking a sip. Style eyes the water bottle and Fadel notices. After a moment of hesitation, Fadel somewhat begrudgingly holds the water out to Style. Style doesn't immediately take it, but instead throws Fadel a look, checking if Fadel really is letting him have some water. Style only grabs the bottle after Fadel explicitly tells him to take it. Style obeys and immediately starts teasing Fadel: "Thought you'd let me die of thirst. Either a hitman like you still have his humanity, or you're in love with me." Despite talking big about killing Style and shoving a gun into his face on multiple occasions, Fadel still cares about Style and his well-being and Style knows it. After the teasing words are out of Style's mouth, he attentively observes Fadel's reaction because he also knows Fadel would never admit to this out loud:
While Style is talking, Fadel turns around to grab some food out of the paper bag. When he turns back he makes a face at Style's words, then wordlessly leans back against the trunk again and takes a bite, ignoring Style completely. Style eyes the snack in Fadel's hands. Then he says: "You're well prepared, huh? To think you packed snacks and drinks."
I personally think that Style wasn't just thirsty, but also hungry. He did do some physical work under the heat of the sun, after all. I think his words were an implicit prompt for Fadel to not just share his water, but also his food. But Fadel doesn't share, he just responds with "I am always well prepared. I have plans for everything". It's kinda funny he's saying this, because it's not like Style was even given the chance to prepare for a trip in the first place. It's not like Style showed up at the hospital with a bag full of travel essentials in anticipation of getting kidnapped and going on an impromptu road trip.
Fadel continues with a stab at Style: "If it wasn’t for you and your friend, my brother and I would have had our long-awaited break already." Style almost rolls his eyes. He's so over this. What happened, happened and there's no way to change the past. All you can do is go forward from there. "Let it go. Shouldn't you be looking forward to the future? Focus on the future. Let go of your grudge. What good would a grudge do—" Style doesn't get further than that because suddenly there is a bun in his mouth. And just in case the message isn't clear enough, Fadel also explicitly tells him to shut up. Style complains about Fadel's methods. "Couldn't you have been more gentle?" This is actually funnier to me in Thai:
If you want to feed me, you can feed me gently. No need to be so forceful.
มึงอยากป้อนมึงป้อนเบาๆ ได้ไม่ต้องแรงเลย
[mueng - yàak - bpôn - mueng - bpôn - bao bao - dâai - mâi - dtông - raeng - loiie]
you - want - feed - you - feed - gently - can - not - need - harsh - [particle]
The bun did not manage to shut Style up, on the contrary. Style just keeps talking. "I'm getting paranoid, though. We broke down in the middle of the woods. This is just like the beginning of a horror film. A murderer is gonna come after us in a minute." Fadel gently reminds him of his request to shut up: "The first to get murdered would be a yapper like you." Again, I wanna share my own translations of this bickering (Fadel's line specifically), because it amuses me how Fadel is more or less continuing Style's sentence but turns it against him:
S: A murderer will come and kill us any second now.
อีกแป๊บนึงก็จะมีฆาตกรมาฆ่าพวกเรา
[ìik bpáep nueng - gôh - jà mii - kâat-dtà-gon - maa - kâa - pûuak rao]
in a moment - [sentence link] - will be - murderer - come - kill - us
F: And will kill a yapper like you first.
แล้วก็จะฆ่าคนพูดมากอย่างมึงเป็นคนแรก
[láew gôh - jà - kâa - kon pûut mâak - yàang - mueng - bpen kon râek]
and - will - kill - person who talks a lot - like - you - as the first person
I think by now everyone's made fun of Style for being afraid of a murderer when there is an actual murderer right by his side, but the thing is, it is quite interesting how fear is becoming a theme for Style this episode, something that @secriden goes into in this post. Something else she also points out is how Style not only worries about getting murdered himself, but also about Fadel getting murdered too:
[I]t's interesting how Style talks about being afraid of dying generally and specifically how harm could come to them from an external source. How the way his fear is orientated puts Fadel on the inside ("a murderer is gonna come after us"), on Style's side and someone Style wants to keep safe.
And when Fadel makes the kind of snide joke about letting the hypothetical cannibals kill and cook Style, Style's solution still involves staying by Fadel's side. At no point does he ever stop referring to Fadel and him as a single unit, even after Fadel very explicitly frames Style as the only victim.
In this moment though, Style isn't actually afraid of a hypothetical murderer suddenly jumping out of the woods to kill them both. So when Fadel responds with one of his usual comments that show how much he "dislikes" Style, Style lets it go and instead continues a different fight: he doesn't wanna keep pushing the car. He did it to humor Fadel, but there really is no point in continuing to push a broken car through the middle of nowhere. Fadel refuses to leave his car. Style starts talking him into leaving it there for now and coming back for it. Fadel threatens Style once again: "If my car was stolen, not only would I kill you, I'd take a car from your garage." Style is very unimpressed by this threat. "Take it. Take them all. You own my life."
Fun fact, this is the literal translation of when he says the "own my life" part:
You already have control over my life.
มึงก็คุมชีวิตกูอยู่แล้วนี่
[mueng - gôh - kum - chii-wít guu - yùu - láew - nîi]
you - [sentence link] - (have) control - my life - [aux] - already - [interjection]
It's interesting, because being in control of something doesn't necessarily mean you own it. Style's life is still very much his own, but he's willing to give it all to Fadel: "Take my cars, my body, my heart. Take everything." And yes, he is mostly sassing Fadel with these words, but there is also a certain seriousness to it. Fadel can have especially Style's body and Style's heart. Fadel can have 100% of Style. Style has made that decision long ago and he's still set on it, despite or maybe even especially because of everything that has happened since. Style's body and Style's heart are entirely free for Fadel to take. It's a sincere offer and it's on Fadel to take it up. Fadel stares at Style in an attempt to figure him out. Then he goes to get his backpack, walks back over to Style and grabs the water bottle out of his hands and then starts walking down the path. Style follows as soon as he realizes that Fadel is listening to Style's suggestion of leaving the car there for now.
No. 5: Murder House
Again we don't really know how much time has passed but at some point Fadel and Style find a house. Style makes a joke about a cannibal family living inside and while I doubt he actually believed in the cannibal family, I do think he's a lot more anxious now than he was about the hypothetical murderer by the car. Fadel replies with a joke of his own to really underline his alleged disdain for Style: "Good. I'll ask them to cook you. I'm getting hungry." Style doesn't think it's funny and says "Don't say that. It's scary." Fun fact, in Thai Style doesn't just imply that he's scared by calling the situation/the thought of a cannibal family scary but he explicitly says that he's scared:
I'm scared for real.
กูกลัวจริงนะเว้ย
[guu - gluua - jing - ná wóiie]
I - be scared - true, (for) real - [particle]
His anxiety gets even more apparent when he suggests returning to the road. Fadel doesn't believe in Style's creative imaginations but does tell him that if a murderer actually shows up he'll shoot them. Then Fadel pulls out his gun just in case (and potentially also to make Style feel more protected) and starts walking towards the house. Style follows, not very reassured. We can tell that his anxiety has grown from the way how at the beginning of the scene Style and Fadel were walking side by side and Style was walking even slightly in front of Fadel but when they walk up to the house Style is now walking behind Fadel instead:
They make their way towards the front door and Fadel knocks and calls out to someone inside. There's no answer. Style is getting more anxious by the minute and urges Fadel to leave: "Hey, it's not too late to turn back." Fadel ignores him and starts knocking and calling again. There is still no answer. Style hates it. "This is getting scary," he says and I think that this is the point where his growing anxiety turns into genuine fear. Fadel pulls at the door which actually opens up. "What are you doing?" Style asks and his voice sounds really stressed now. Fadel walks inside the house without hesitation. Style immediately follows, but scolds Fadel for trespassing. Style would rather be anywhere else right now than here. Fadel turns his head to Style and says "I don't care." Or rather he says:
You think I'm scared?
แล้วมึงคิดว่ากูกลัวป่ะ
[láew - mueng - kít - wâa - guu - gluua - bpà]
and - you - think - that - I - (be) scared - ?
Style swallows. Fadel continues to call out for someone. Style squints at him. He wants to leave. Suddenly a baseball comes down the stairs. Style jumps and yells. Fadel's hand goes to his gun, ready to pull it any moment. A second later the baseball is followed by a guy who is being chased by another guy brandishing the bat that goes with said baseball. The first guy goes to hide behind Style and with that Fadel and Style find themselves in the middle of a domestic argument. The baseball guy, Popcorn, yells at his partner for a bit and then moves to attack him with the bat. Despite Style's initial fear walking up to the house, instead of shaking the guy off and getting out of the way he reacts by acting as a human shield, putting his arms out in a conciliatory gesture and suggesting to talk it out over using violence. Somewhere in this series there is a point to be made about Style having a tendency to act like a mediator (when he's not actively picking the fight himself) and if I wasn't so busy with uni assignments and my meta series, that would certainly be a meta post I'd be looking into making.
It's only when Style starts speaking that it fully registers for Popcorn that there are currently random people standing in his house. He starts asking who they are and how they got into his house and Style stutters, completely overwhelmed by the situation and certainly not any less afraid. Before Style has managed to form a proper thought Popcorn accuses them of being his partner's side bits. This immediately has Style stressed again and he yells "no" over and over again. Popcorn isn't convinced and goes for another attack with the baseball bat. It's a bit unclear whether Popcorn had planned to attack only one of them or maybe all three of them but either way, the way Style was standing he definitely would have been the first in line to get hit. Fadel pulls his gun even before Popcorn has managed to take a swing at Style. Style stops yelling and stares at the gun in shock. Popcorn drops his bat on the spot and retreats back to the stairs. His partner comes out from his hiding spot behind Style to follow Popcorn. Together they attempt to scramble up the stairs. Style stands still, completely frozen in place, staring at the gun for a few seconds until he finally turns his head to the stairs to watch the odd pair get away from the gun.
I think there are multiple factors to Style's shock here: his anxiety had already started even before they'd entered the house and it only grew from there. Then, Popcorn and Jimmy's appearance hit them both out of nowhere and Style really got roped into it even more than Fadel did with Jimmy grabbing Style first to use him as a human shield and then Popcorn also almost assaulting Style with a baseball bat. I think part of Style freezing is the left-over shock from Jimmy and Popcorn's initial attacks. It all happens very quickly, after all. In fact, Fadel's gun is out before Style has even had the time to properly process the fact that he was about to die by baseball bat. And so I think part of Style staring at the gun is him reacting to Fadel's movement in general and then Style's brain using the sudden break in action to catch up with everything that was happening in the last couple of seconds. Wait, I'm being attacked with a baseball bat. Wait, there is a movement next to me. Wait, the baseball bat attack stopped. Wait, there is a gun. Wait, the attackers are gone. Wait, the gun was protecting me. Wait, what are these two weirdos doing, where are these two weirdos going.
Style's eyes widen a bit as he turns his head to watch Popcorn and Jimmy scramble up the stairs and he doesn't look that shocked anymore or even terrified. He squints his eyes a little and it looks like he's in thought, like he's trying to figure something out.
And I think there are a number of things he's trying to figure out. Like, what the fuck to make of Jimmy and Popcorn. Who the fuck those weirdos are, where the fuck they came from, and where the fuck they are going again. Why the fuck they attacked Fadel and Style, but especially Style like this. In the above gif I think Style's brain has finally finished processing what has just happened, is finally all caught up and I think Style actually isn't all that afraid of the gun in this moment because he does realize that the gun did just save him (them) from dying by baseball bat a moment ago. And Fadel did say earlier that he would shoot anyone trying to murder Style (them).
And another thing that I think Style is trying to figure out is whether Jimmy and Popcorn's lives are in danger now with Fadel's gun on them. When Style's eyes widen it's almost as if he's thinking Wait, I just nearly died and Fadel PROTECTED me from them and when he squints his eyes it's like Who ARE these people? Is Fadel actually gonna shoot them now? Do I have to go from worrying about being killed by them to worrying about them being killed?
No. 6: Mirror Mirror on the Wall
Fadel doesn't shoot them. Instead, he has Style tie them to the piano. I do think it's kinda funny how Fadel tells Style "If you're done, go look for what you need. Hurry up" and Style just nods and sits down on the sofa instead. So much for hurrying up.
Popcorn starts lamenting his pain dramatically. Neither Style nor Fadel are in the mood to listen to a domestic quarrel. Popcorn goes on and on about how Jimmy cheated on him and Jimmy says "They all meant nothing to me". In Thai he actually says:
They were just people I was chatting with.
มันก็แค่คนคุย
[man - gôh - kâe - kon kui]
he/she/they - just - people one chats with
I asked my friend about คนคุย [kon kui] and he explained it to me as "someone you talk to/flirt with (but something serious is not (yet) happening)". So the original is much more vague about how deep Jimmy's betrayal really runs. There's a chance that Jimmy actually did cheat on Popcorn, but there's also a chance that Jimmy was just talking to them without the intent of having a thing with them and Popcorn just took it the wrong way and made a big deal out of it. Personally, my guess is Jimmy did do something for Popcorn to have a legit reason to be hurt, because later Jimmy does talk about trying his best and having been lost, but I also think he might not be as much of a (serial?) cheater as Popcorn is making him out to be in his anger.
Jimmy assures Popcorn that he is serious with Popcorn, but Popcorn doesn't believe him and cries "You were never serious with me! You made me fall for you and then betrayed me". Don't mind me putting the Thai wording here. It will be relevant later (and also don't worry about the bolded orange bit for now, this will also be explained later).
You tricked me into loving you and being crazy about you and then you do this.
มึงอ่ะมาหลอกให้กูรักกูหลง มึงก็ทำยังเงี้ย
[mueng - àh - maa - lòhk - hâi - guu - rák - guu - lŏng • mueng - gôh - tam - yang-ngíia]
you - [particle] - come - trick, deceive - that - I - love - I - be crazy about • you - [sentence link] - do - like this
And this is the moment when Fadel throws Style a look. Style turns his head to look at Fadel as well. Message received.
Jimmy begs for Popcorn's forgiveness but Popcorn is still too upset and in his anger cries out: "The likes of you don't deserve second chances. The likes of you who lead people on deserve nothing but death!" I'm gonna share a more literal translation again:
There are no chances for bad people.
โอกาสมันไม่ได้มีไว้สำหรับคนเลว
[oh-gàat - man - mâi dâai - mii - wái - săm-ràp - kon leow]
chance - it - not - have - keep - for - bad people
People that trick others into loving them all deserve to die!
คนที่หลอกให้คนอื่นรัก สมควรให้ตายไปให้หมด
[kon - tîi - lòhk - hâi - kon èun - rák • sŏm-kuuan - hâi - dtaai bpai hâi mòt]
people - that - trick - that - others - love • deserve - that - die - all
It's no wonder that this is the thing that makes Fadel, who knows a thing or two about being tricked into loving someone, get up and offer a free kill. Style immediately jumps to his feet and reaches out an arm to Fadel in order to pacify him and to stop him from killing Jimmy. Because Style knows full well that Fadel is perfectly capable of doing so without batting and eye. And again we see Style take on the role of a mediator. Popcorn backs down and admits he was just being dramatic and doesn't actually want his partner to die. But for Fadel it's personal: "But he lied to you." Or Thai he says:
But he deceived you.
แต่มันหลอกคุณนะ
[dtàe - man - lòhk - kun - ná]
but - he - deceive, trick - you - [particle]
Fadel points out the tricking part specifically and again us viewers as well as Style get a hint about what exactly Fadel has been upset about and it ain't the snitching to the police. We aren't shown Style's reaction here but I think it's safe to assume he heard Fadel's words loud and clear considering he is standing right next to Fadel. Popcorn tries to calm Fadel down again by explaining they argue all the time and repeating that he doesn't actually want his partner to die. Fadel looks at them, his expression serious, his gun still pointed. Style observes Fadel carefully, watching his every move:
I think Style is very much afraid in this moment. But I don't think he's afraid of Fadel, I think he's afraid for him. And afraid for the people in front of them. After all, Style doesn't want others to be harmed. We see this over and over again in the way he threw himself into the fight at the host club before he knew Fadel was perfectly capable of fighting for himself, we see this in the way Style grabbed the gun at the bowling alley and pointed it at the shooter to keep him from doing any more harm than he had already caused and we see it now in the way Style immediately jumps to his feet, arm stretched out towards Fadel to try his best to interfere at any second if need may be. Style is afraid for Jimmy and Popcorn, because he knows full well their lives are in actual danger. And Style is afraid for Fadel, because he also knows how much pain this assassin's life has caused him and he wants Fadel to quit for his (Fadel's, that is) own well-being. And Fadel's well being is something that is deeply important to Style. Style implicitly told Fadel to quit killing in episode 5 already and later this episode he will, explicitly this time, tell Fadel to quit killing again. And every shot that Fadel takes is a step in the wrong direction.
And another aspect that comes to play here is that Style is afraid of dying. This episode has been dealing with Style's very real fear and this fear has taken form in different ways: We started with Style being afraid of his own death by Fadel's hand (last episode for a moment at the pool, this episode when he was crying in the motel bed), then we saw him being afraid of his own death by someone else's hand (the fictional murderer that his mind kept imaging) and now we see him afraid of someone else's death. And yes, the first two were about Style's own death, so why would he be afraid of dying now when this situation is about someone else's death, not his own? The thing is, though... Is it really? Is this really about someone else's death? Because the person Fadel is about to kill is Style's mirror. Who is to say that after Fadel has taken care of Style's mirror his emotions won't get the better of him and he'll turn around and shoot the real Style in his hurt, too, while he's at it? So Style doesn't take his eyes off of Fadel, because his own life is still at stake too and how Fadel acts now will give Style a hint about how determined Fadel still is to kill him.
But then Jimmy suddenly changes course. He is willing to accept death if it means Popcorn will be safe. Style is still standing there with his arm halfway up, still tense, still ready to jump into action if Fadel pulls the trigger while Jimmy goes into a plea for Popcorn's life. Jimmy ends it by announcing that he loves Popcorn, which is yet another sore point for Fadel. "If you love him, why did you fool him?" Fun fact, Fadel is so pissed that he actually uses rude pronouns with Jimmy:
ถ้ามึงรักเขามึงจะหลอกเขาทำไม
[tâa - mueng - rák - kăo - meung - jà - lòhk - kăo - tam-mai]
if - you - love - him - you - will - trick, deceive - him - why
Also, this time we do get to see Style's reaction to Fadel's words:
I think Style partly throws Fadel that look because he is still afraid that Fadel is so angry that he might actually kill Jimmy and is ready to interfere at any time and part of that look is Style taking in and piecing together what exactly Fadel is and has been upset about. During this entire conversation it's always been the topic of loving and tricking and tricking into loving that Fadel's had the strongest emotional response to. If you love him (me) why did you fool him (me)? Yeah, that's what Fadel is upset about.
Jimmy doesn't reply to Fadel, doesn't explain himself. Instead he turns to Popcorn and goes into a heartfelt apology. The two of them bicker for a bit. Style's has lowered his arm even more now, but it's still in perfect position to make a grab at Fadel any second if need be. He checks on Fadel again when Jimmy asks Popcorn to let Fadel shoot him if Popcorn doesn't believe that Jimmy's love is true. The husbands-to-be bicker some more and then Jimmy dramatically offers himself up as a sacrifice again, orders Fadel to shoot him. Fadel clenches his jaw. He knows he can't. He looks over at Style. Style is staring at Fadel intently, observing him, watching him carefully.
And again, I think this stare is about both, checking whether Fadel is still gonna go in for the kill and also Style trying to read Fadel, trying to figure out where Fadel is at emotionally when it comes to his own relationship with Style. Style is actively in the process of piecing together what exactly he's done to make Fadel hurt this much and to make Fadel want to kill him. And I think at this point here, Style is no longer as terrified of a potential murder happening right in front of his eyes the way he was when Fadel had initially pulled the gun on Jimmy.
Speaking of Style's fear, a couple of days ago I saw a post in the tags where someone was asking why Fadel pulling a gun on him was hot to Style but suddenly when Fadel is pulling the gun on other people it's an issue and since this meta series is THE Style manifesto I figure I should maybe write a paragraph about that too. When Style is at the other end of the gun it's hot, because Style is 99% sure Fadel won't actually kill him, won't kill him specifically. But when Fadel is pointing the gun at other people, Style can't be so sure. After all, this is Fadel's profession, this is what he specializes in. Fadel does this on the regular and Style is very well aware of it. The thing is, Style doesn't actually want others to be harmed. We see this over and over again when Style goes and helps people, when Style acts like a mediator in situations. Only last episode Style told Kant that love can turn a bad guy good and I think that's ultimately what he wants for Fadel. For Fadel to quit the job, to stop killing people, to turn "good" for Style and also for himself (putting "good" in quotation marks, because to Style, Fadel is a good person already as he reveals later in the bathtub). Style has already suggested Fadel quits the job even all the way back in episode 5 when Fadel opened up about his parents' murder and about not wanting a relationship in order not to cause trouble to anyone. Style is cool with Fadel pulling a gun on him if no harm is done, but he is not cool with Fadel pulling a gun on others if harm could be done. And at the end of the day Style is also not cool with Fadel pulling a gun on him either, if Style's own life is in actual danger from that. We saw as much by the pool and we saw it again this episode when Fadel was about to kill Style's mirror.
Another thing I find truly fascinating about this scene is how Popcorn and Jimmy are clear parallels to Fadel and Style, but not in the way one might expect. We have Popcorn, the loud and overdramatic one and then we have Jimmy, the calm and collected one. We have Style, the loud and overdramatic one and then we have Fadel, the calm and collected one. You'd think Popcorn would be a parallel for Style and Jimmy would be a parallel for Fadel, but psych! The calm and collected Fadel relates to the loud and overdramatic Popcorn's problems while the loud and overdramatic Style relates to the calm and collected Jimmy's problems. I think there are various interpretations possible as to why that is. One thing I'd like to think is that Popcorn's loud whirlwind emotions are a representation of how Fadel is quietly feeling inside but would never ever let out in any way, because his walls are that far up. And then we have Jimmy, who did something wrong, but is so serious and sincere in his love for Popcorn, in his longing for Popcorn's forgiveness and in his desire to be with Popcorn, to get married to Popcorn. And as loud and overdramatic Style can sometimes be, Style is completely serious about his love for Fadel and his decision to be with him no matter what. It's not a joke to Style. And Style, too, is longing for that forgiveness, is longing to go back to being happy and in love, is longing to get 100% of Fadel's trust. Fadel has told him before that Style had 80% of his trust, but with the betrayal those 80% have taken a significant dip down. But Style is still serious about wanting those 100% and so he will work his way back up again.
Side note: Another thing I was thinking about was how Jimmy was so willing to take the bullet if it meant keeping Popcorn safe and it just has me wonder if Style will be taking a bullet to keep Fadel safe.
No. 7: Do You Hear the Wedding Bells
Instead of going for a kill, Fadel lets Popcorn and Jimmy have their wedding. Style officiates while Fadel hides in a corner, watching everything from a distance. Style, believer in the power of love, is very happy for Jimmy and Popcorn. He watches with joy as they exchange rings and what I love about this is how Style's joy has such a calm, grounded energy to it. Style prompts the happy couple to kiss and I am absolutely convinced that his laughter when Popcorn jumps Jimmy and Jimmy carries him towards the wall is all Dunk, not Style. Then Style turns his head and looks at Fadel. He is presented with an image of Fadel quietly laughing at this couple's joy and passion and happiness. Fadel then turns his head towards Style as well, but immediately looks away when he meets Style's eyes and his laughter fades.
Remember how in last episode's meta I said:
And it's just veeeery interesting that Style asks Fadel to marry him for the second episode in a row. If it happens again next episode, I'm calling it. But for now, let's wait and see 👀
Well... We didn't get a FadelStyle marriage proposal, but Style's mirror saying "You and I are getting married" to Fadel's mirror? And then the Style and Fadel mirrors actually getting married? With Style officiating the wedding? That's three episodes in a row with a wedding reference in connection to Fadel and Style. Episode 6 with the untranslatable pun, episode 7 with Style's proposal prank, now episode 8 with an actual wedding. Three is a pattern, no? Style may not have uttered the words "Will you marry me" to Fadel this episode, but I'm calling it anyway. These two are so getting married by the end of the series, aren't they...
(Also, sorry for writing so few words about this scene. I don't have words, I only have Big Emotions.)
No. 8: Dinners and Dancing
It's night time now and the four of them are having a nice wedding dinner. Style makes friendly conversation as usual, while Fadel sits there and barely socializes. Jimmy brags about his husband's cooking skills, and Style immediately responds with a brag of his own, because his own boyfriend is just as good at cooking. And this time around I think the boyfriend drop is a lot more deliberate than it was at the beginning of the episode, because this time around he actually emphasizes it a little. The word "faen" is the word he stresses the most in the sentence. Then he turns to Fadel and teasingly compliments him: "His burgers are to die for." In Thai, what he says word for word is "make very delicious burgers":
ทำเบอร์เกอร์อร่อยมาก
[tam - ber-gêr - à-ròi - mâak]
make - burger - delicious - very
Note how there is no pronoun in this sentence. That means, the sentence can be taken either as "He makes very delicious burgers" because Style was just talking to Jimmy and this sentence is still addressed to Jimmy or the sentence could be taken as "You make very delicious burgers" from the way Style is saying this sentence directly to Fadel's face. You hear that? That's you. You're my faen that makes delicious burgers. I love you. Fadel scrunches his eyebrows, skeptical and confused. Style smiles brightly, grabs a spoonful of food and offers to feed it to Fadel. Unlike Fadel did earlier that day, Style actually does feed him gently. In fact, he doesn't force the food nor the caring gesture onto Fadel. He holds out the spoon and once again waits for Fadel to go along of his own free will which Fadel awkwardly does after a moment of hesitation. Then, Style goes back to making friendly conversation and we get a bit of backstory about how Popcorn and Jimmy used to live in the city as salarymen and then came to live on a farm because Jimmy loves nature. Style finds it romantic that Popcorn left his good life for a more difficult farm life. Fadel still holds a grudge and asks Jimmy why he cheated when Popcorn had done all of that for him. Jimmy says it's only human to get lost sometimes and that he's come back home in the end. This has Fadel even more pissed. He bangs his fist onto the table so forcefully that it jumpscares Style right next to him. "Only because you take him for granted," Fadel snarls. Popcorn awkwardly says he's already forgiven Jimmy and Style puts his hand on Fadel's hand to calm him down. Fadel looks at Style and Style gives him a little bit of a nod, as if to say Hey, it's okay. You can let it go. You don't need to settle this argument for them. Fadel leans back into his chair, resigned.
Jimmy changes the topic and asks where Fadel and Style are going and Style immediately has a believable answer ready. "We're heading south. Kinda hoped it was going to be a romantic road trip date." And let me just share a more literal translation about the road trip, because he shamelessly and also very deliberately this time throws around the word boyfriend again:
I wanted to go on a road trip with my boyfriend.
พอดีตั้งใจจะมาขับรถเล่นกับแฟนนะครับ
[poh dii - dtâng-jai - jà - maa - kàp rót lên - gàp - faen - ná - kráp]
because - intend to - will - come - drive for fun - with - boyfriend - [particle] - [particle]
When Style says the word boyfriend, he turns his head and pointedly says "faen" directly into Fadel's face. Because he still considers Fadel his boyfriend, whether Fadel likes it or not. After all, they've never officially broken up. And no, multiple death threats that have involved an actual gun do not count as a break-up as far as Style is concerned. Not if he still has any say in it. Because their relationship is that serious to him. Because from the moment they started dating, their relationship was never fake to him. Fadel squints his eyes. Popcorn then asks how they met and Style tells them: "I was kinda dared into taking him out, but then I actually fell for him." And again, just a little correction on the whole "I was dared to" part:
It started with me deceitfully flirting with him.
มันเริ่มจากผมไปหลอกจีบเขาครับ
[man - rêrm - jàak - pŏm - bpai - lòhk - jìip - kăo - kráp]
it - start - from - I - go - deceive, trick - flirt - him - [particle]
Nowhere in the way Style phrased it does it say who thought of the idea of the fake flirting. Nowhere does it say whether someone else made him do it or whether it was Style's own idea. Style isn't putting the blame on someone else and in a way is actually even kinda making himself look bad here since it could be taken as Style having come up with the scheme by himself. Popcorn and Jimmy don't know that there are two other guys involved in this story. Popcorn says "Such is love, isn't it?" and Style turns to look at Fadel for a moment who meets his eyes. Popcorn then continues with "It can start from deceit, but it zigzags its way into something beautiful at the end." Style turns to Fadel again, throwing him a very pointed look. Something beautiful, huh? Did you hear that? Fadel pointedly ignores Style and his pointed look. The newlywed husbands discuss the natural process of a relationship – bickering, fighting, boning. This greatly amuses Style and he looks at Fadel again. In fact, he stares at Fadel for several seconds until Fadel finally properly looks at him. And that's when Style raises an eyebrow at him. Well?
And it's fun, because the scene started out with Fadel doing a thing with his eyebrows and it ends with Style doing a thing with his eyebrows, almost like an answer.
Style's energy in this scene is very boyfriend-like. Fadel took a step back and withdrew at the presence of these two other people, and now that Style doesn't have to fend off Fadel's constant stream of personal digs at him anymore, Style comfortably slips back into that boyfriend role. And it's not just that he's comfortable in this role, no, he is proud to be Fadel's boyfriend and proud to have Fadel as his boyfriend. Style brags about Fadel and his cooking skills and calls him his boyfriend to anyone who will listen. Style keeps Fadel in check when Fadel gets hotheaded and is absolutely up for going through the natural process of bickering-fighting-boning if Fadel is up for it as well. And most importantly, Style is simply just happy to be around him, happy to spend time with him. Style is proud of him and he is happy with him and he wants Fadel by his side. He means that choice from the bottom of his heart and so he will act accordingly. Especially now that he is finally starting to understand why exactly Fadel is hurting.
No. 9: Big Small Matters
The time for dinner is over and the time for dancing has started. Fadel and Style sit on the couch, they're watching the happy couple and especially Style is delighted at their happiness himself. After a while, Style turns to Fadel and says "Cute couple, aren't they? Just like us". This is the third time this evening, a rather short time frame, that Style has made a reference to them being in a relationship (referring to Fadel as his "boyfriend" twice and now calling them a "couple"). And yes, he did blatantly refer to Fadel as his boyfriend when they were talking to the aunty at the motel too, but I think this time around Style is very deliberately and consciously doing so, given his observations of Fadel earlier that day. They're a cute couple. Style means it. No joke. No trick.
Fadel is quiet for a moment, then says "We're not a couple". Definitely by sheer coincidence the song that Jimmy put on just happens to be about forgiveness and just happens to play the lyrics Just overlook what is trivial right before Fadel's reply. Style asks Fadel if he wasn't listening to the lyrics and quotes them back at him. Fadel is not amused: "You think what you did to me was 'trivial'?"
Now, the phrase that the song uses to say "trivial" is เล็กๆ น้อยๆ [lék lék nói nói] which word for word makes something like "small small little little". I asked my Thai language buddy if this word was like the word "Kleinigkeit" in German and he confirmed. There is no perfect English equivalent for the word "Kleinigkeit" but it basically means something like "small matter" or "little thing". Depending on the situation there could be other meanings that go along with it. For this context right here "no big deal" could even work in English. Now let me share what Fadel actually said:
You think that you deceiving me is no big deal? (lit. "is a small matter?" / "is small?")
มึงคิดว่าเรื่องที่มึงมาหลอกกูเนี่ยมันเล็กๆ น้อยๆหรอ
[mueng - kít wâa - rêuuang - tîi - mueng - maa - lòhk - guu - nîia - man - lék lék nói nói - rŏr]
you - think that - thing, matter - that - you - come - deceive, trick - me - [particle] - it - small (matter), little (thing) - ?
Official subs: You think what you did to me was 'trivial'?
Fadel uses the word หลอก [lòhk] here, which means "to trick" or "to deceive". That means, he doesn't just vaguely say "what you did to me" but he explicitly tells Style that the thing that has been bothering him is Style deceiving him, Style tricking him. By now you may have noticed a pattern to the orange color: The word หลอก [lòhk] comes up a lot this episode. I've bolded and marked this word orange all throughout this post so you can see just how many times and in which contexts this word is used. Style uses it during the dinner when he says "I was kinda dared into taking him out" (more literally: "It started with me deceitfully flirting with him"), Popcorn uses this word when he cries "The likes of you who lead people on deserve nothing but death!" (more literally: "People that trick others into loving them all deserve to die!") and Fadel uses the word when he says "But he lied to you. (more literally: "But he deceived you.") after Popcorn says he doesn't actually want Jimmy to be killed for real. And now Fadel uses it again to call Style out: "You think what you did to me was 'trivial'?" (more literally: "You think that you deceiving me is no big deal?").
Fadel is mad that Style tricked him, that Style deceived him. This much was already obvious from Fadel's emotional reactions to Popcorn and Jimmy's dispute, but now Style has explicit confirmation. This is where he needs to start working at if he wants to earn Fadel's forgiveness.
The newly-wed husbands walk over and invite them to dance, too. Style is up for it, but Fadel really doesn't want to. Style talks him into it and pulls him up. Reluctantly, Fadel gives in to Style just like he always does.
They dance a little, but at some point Style turns to Fadel, puts his hand on his shoulder, smiles, and tells him: "I know what I did wasn't 'trivial.' But I'm ready to do anything to make you forgive me." Now for that first sentence you might think that in the Thai line Style repeats Fadel's words from earlier ("You think that you deceiving me is no big deal?") where Fadel used the word หลอก [lòhk] and you might think that Style would use it now, too. But actually, he does keep things more vague in the original itself as well:
I know that what I did was a big deal. (lit. "was no small matter" / "isn't a little thing")
กูรู้นะเว้ยว่าเรื่องที่กูทำอ่ะ ไม่ใช่เรื่องเล็กๆ น้อยๆ
[guu - rúu - ná wóiie - wâa - rêuuang - tîi - guu - tam - à • mâi châi - rêuuang - lék lék nói nói]
I - know - [particle] - that - thing, matter - that - I - do - [particle] • not - thing, matter - small (matter), little (thing)
Maybe Style is referring not only to the fact that he tricked Fadel into loving him but also to how Fadel feels "cheated on" because he did end up falling for Style's (initially) insincere flirting, was head over heels in love with him only to find out Style wasn't his but was "the police's" and that the love wasn't real, was just a trick.
Or maybe there is something we don't yet know about? (Like, there is still the mysterious Boonterm mention from episode 3? Or, something that had COMPLETELY slipped my mind when I was writing my ep7 meta and so ended up writing something from a completely wrong perspective: Style has seen Keen before when he eavesdropped on Fadel and Keen's conversation and so in ep7 in the men's room it could also be taken as Style stopping Fadel from discovering Keen on purpose, which brings up the question... what's up with that????) Or maybe he just keeps it vague so that he can say it at a later point explicitly.
Anyway, so Style firmly tells Fadel that he knows he was in the wrong and that he's ready to do anything to earn Fadel's forgiveness and then pulls him into a hug while they continue to dance. This hug doesn't last very long, though, because next thing Fadel and Style know is that they're being attacked by Jimmy and Popcorn. Luckily, Style sees them in time and shouts Fadel's name in shock and to warn him. They both tumble down and Fadel has his gun out before they've even hit the couch. Fadel shoots into the air and while by now Style is very familiar with the image of Fadel pointing guns, this is the first time he's witnessed Fadel actually fire a shot (from a real gun, that is. Not a BB gun). A shot that protected not only Fadel himself, but also Style. And while Style does still look at the gun for a moment again, he is nowhere near as frozen or worried as he was when Fadel pulled the gun on Popcorn and Jimmy the few instances earlier this episode.
For a second time that day, Fadel and Style tie up Popcorn and Jimmy. Style makes a comment about how he was off about the serial killer part but they were nearly killed by someone after all. Style's fear and anxiety from the day has proven to be justified. Fadel nags that Style trusts people too easily and that he's only interested in other people's love lives. Style doesn't see a problem with that: "I'm a hopeless romantic. Can't help it that love stories touch me." Or in Thai:
I'm a romantic person.
กูมันเป็นคนโรแมนติก
[guu - man - bpen - kon roh-maen-dtìk]
I - [marker] - be - romantic person
I'm easily tricked by touching things.
โดนหลอกด้วยอะไรซึ้งๆง่าย
[dohn lòhk - dûuay - à-rai - séung séung - ngâai]
be tricked, deceived - by, through - something - touching - easy
I just want to point out that Style uses the word หลอก [lòhk] here. Style gets tricked by romantic, touching things the same way as, you know, someone else in this room feels like he got tricked by romantic, touching things. It's like Style is saying What? Can you blame me? I, too, get tricked by love.
Fadel moves to remove the arm sling and Style goes to help him. Fadel lets him, doesn't block him. And I'm sure it was absolutely necessary for Style to put his arm around Fadel's shoulder like that for easier opening of the buckle. Duh. Style smiles a little as he slides off the arm sling. Fadel makes his way up the stairs. Style first looks at their tied up victims, then watches Fadel walk upstairs. There are certainly things on Style's mind. He'll be voicing them in the bathtub in a bit.
No. 10: Fadel in a Bath Fadel in a Bath Na Na Na Na Na Na Fadel in a Bath
Style finds Fadel in the bathtub and wants to join in. Fadel is reluctant at first, but is also not in the mood to argue with Style and so Style starts getting undressed. Now, usually I'd just skip past this part of Style getting naked and hopping into the tub because it's not a relevant process. However, during this process he does something very interesting: When he lays down his clothes he touches the gun, as if to make a grab for it before he goes and covers it with clothes.
I'm gonna be honest, I really have no idea what to make of this moment. As to why Style covers it, it could probably be because he wants it out of sight, out of the way, wants it gone. Style has made it very clear on multiple occasions that he doesn't want Fadel to be killing people and he will also be telling Fadel exactly that in just another minute as well. Away with the gun.
But if that really is the case, then I still don't understand why Style would touch the gun in the first place. If he wanted to hide it, he could have dropped his shirt down on it without bending down and touching it. But Style does go through the effort and the way he touches it almost looks like he is about to pick it up. The "Style + guns" counter goes up to 5.
Style is also very deliberate about it. He has his eyes glued to Fadel, watching him carefully through the entire process. That has me wonder if Style is maybe testing Fadel. Is he testing Fadel's trust, maybe? Because Fadel did say that the words out of Style's mouth are no longer trustworthy, but what about Style's actions? Are those still trustworthy? Technically, Style is also still Fadel's kidnapping victim, so what would the kidnapper do if the victim goes for the weapon the kidnapper has been using to keep his victim in check? But Fadel's reaction is just a raised eyebrow and a bit of an eyebrow scrunch like What exactly is it that you're doing? It's a clear message, but at the same time Fadel doesn't even move a single muscle that indicates he is about to do something to get the weapon away from Style.
Fadel watches Style closely, but doesn't interfere. There is a certain amount of trust involved here, because Style could have easily made a quick grab for it and pulled the gun on Fadel for once.
I actually asked @secriden about her opinion on this because I didn't quite know what to make of it and she came back with an interesting perspective I also want to share:
Oh, I think the purpose of that was to show that Style is really choosing to be with Fadel. In that scenario Style literally has all the advantage— Fadel is naked in a bathtub and he's hampered by a broken arm and literally being in a slippery situation. Like if Style wanted to just take the gun and shoot Fadel there was little Fadel could've done at that point. But Style touches the gun and makes deliberate eye contact and then covers it with his clothes like he's saying "See? Even when you give me the chance to seize control what matters to me is another chance to fix our relationship." He's basically proving his own words when he said "I'll do anything to make it up to you." This includes letting a chance go literally take back his LIFE because the gun still symbolises a threat to Style's life (even if we know Fadel isn't going to go through with it).
After covering the gun with his clothes, Style gets into the tub and the first thing out of his mouth is: "I'm glad you didn’t kill them." And we know this to be true, because we saw how afraid and how tense Style was earlier when the gun was involved. Fadel reminds him that he only kills bad people and even if he disapproves of Jimmy's cheating, at the end of the day it's none of his business anyway. Style states "You're pretty decent at your core, you know?" and I sigh in exasperation again, because it's not that Fadel is just "pretty decent", no, Fadel is a good person. And buckle up, because there are quite a few language notes to follow over the course of this scene.
Really, you're a good person at your core.
จริงๆสันดานมึงเป็นคนดีนะเว้ย
[jing jing - săn-daan - mueng - bpen - kon dii - ná wóiie]
really, honestly - nature, core - you - be - good person - [particle]
Having made this assessment, Style wants to know how come Fadel is a hitman then and Fadel says he gets hired, there's nothing more to it. Style says it's not true that Fadel is doing it just for the money. Fadel comes back with a challenge: "Why not? You don't know anything about me." In Thai he actually phrases it like a question which I like because it makes the challenge a bit more direct and Fadel's words sassier:
You know me well?
มึงรู้จักกูดีเหรอ
[mueng - rúu-jàk - guu - dii - rĕr]
you - know - me - well - ?
(German speakers: the mood of this sentence is actually more like "Kennst du mich denn gut?", not just "Kennst du mich gut?")
So Fadel throws Style a sassy question, but Style has an answer, and what an answer it is:
I may not know your past but I know your present well.
กูอาจจะไม่รู้จักอาดีตมึงแต่กูรู้จักปัจจุบันมึงดีนะเว้ย
[guu - àat-jà - mâi - rúu-jàk - àdiit mueng - dtàe - guu - rùu-jàk - bpàt-jù-ban mueng - dii - ná wóiie]
I - may, might - not - know - your past - but - I - know - your present - well - [Particle]
Official subs: "I might not know who you were in the past, but I know who you are now."
It's not just that Style didn't know who Fadel was as a person in the past, but also Style was neither present in Fadel's past nor did Fadel share much about his past apart from the fact that his parents were shot. Style may not have been there for Fadel's past, but Style is very much there for Fadel's present, he's lived Fadel's present by his side for a while now and has gotten to know Fadel's life and Fadel himself really well. And Style is here for Fadel's present despite all things that should make him want to leave. Style is here for Fadel's present despite all the things he knows or maybe even because of all the things he knows. He knows Fadel is a killer, but he also knows Fadel is a good person. Being here for Fadel's present, Style's gotten to know many different sides of Fadel that make him want to stay in Fadel's present. Style smiles at him. Fadel can't run away from the mortifying ordeal of being known forever. It's too late. Style already knows him significantly, whether Fadel wants to acknowledge it or not.
Fadel looks away from him and when he looks back at Style, Style brings back the topic of Fadel only killing bad people and asks how Fadel decides. Fadel claims he decides based on his own experiences. Style tells him:
You're not a court passing sentences on other people's lives.
มึงไม่ใช่ศาลมาพิพากษาชีวิตคนอื่นนะเว้ย
[mueng - mâi châi - săan - maa - pí-pâak-săa - chii-wít - kon èun - ná wóiie]
you - not - court - come - judge - life - others - [particle]
Official subs: It's not your job to judge that kind of thing, you know?
Just quit doing it.
เลิกทำไปเหอะ
[lêrk - tam - bpai - hùh]
quit, stop - do - [particle] - [particle]
Official subs: Why don't you just quit?
The more you keep doing this, the more your life will never be at peace.
ยิ่งมึงทำแบบนี้ ชีวิดมึงยิ่งไม่จบไม่สิ้น
[yîng - mueng - tam - bàep níi • chii-wít meung - yîng - mâi - jòp - mâi - sîn]
the more - you - do - like this • your life - the more - not - end - not - end
Official subs: If you keep going, it will never be over.
You may have noticed that in the interlinear translation of the last sentence it says "not end not end" which doesn't make a lot of sense, of course. Style actually uses two different words for "end" here. I asked my friend about it who explained that "not end" as in ไม่จบ [mâi jòb] refers to something external (the killings) while "not end" as in ไม่สิ้น [mâi sîn] refers to something internal (Fadel finding inner peace). The more Fadel keeps killing, the more he'll be stuck in this life and the more he won't be able to rest.
Fadel doesn't want to be lectured, but Style isn't actually saying all this to lecture Fadel. It's a well-meant warning because Style cares about Fadel and his well-being:
I just think there's probably no one who will warn you and mean well for you as much as I do.
กูอ่ะแค่คิดว่าคงไม่มีใครเตือนและหวังดีกับมึงเท่ากูละ
[guu - àh - kâe - kít - wâa - kong- mâi mii krai - dteuuan - láe - wăng dii gàp - mueng - tâo - guu - lá]
I - [particle] - just - think - that - maybe - there is no one - warn - and - mean well for - you - like - I - [particle]
Official subs: I just think there's no one out there who wants the best for you more than I do.
Fadel just stares at him and Style smiles back. He means it. After a moment, he puts his feet on Fadel and targets the nipple. First of all, it's time to be a little shit again and try to annoy his way back into Fadel's life and second of all, I think maybe he hasn't given up hope of getting some yet, even if Fadel is still back to being grumpy. Also, it's my personal headcanon that Style put his feet on Fadel for the same reason Dunk did: the tub is simply just too small for these two grown men.
Fadel reminds him that just because he lets Style mess with him it doesn't mean he won't kill Style. Style tilts his head. That's death threat number what? And yet, Style is still here and still able to mess with Fadel. "Go ahead. Blow my head off whenever you want." Style is here, ready to accept his fate. "I'm a bad person for making you fall for me, head over heels, and then betraying you. I deserve to die." And here is where the exact wording is important again. Literally he says: "I'm bad. I tricked you into loving me, I tricked you into being crazy about me, and then I betrayed you. I deserve to die."
Sorry in advance, but the following will be chaos. There is only so much formatting I can do in a tumblr post (I wish I could add a table!). The arrows indicate the literal translation. The colors will make sense a paragraph down.
→ I'm bad.
กูอ่ะมันเลว
[guu - àh - man - leow]
I - [particle] - [marker] - bad
Official subs: I'm a bad person
→ I tricked you into loving me,
หลอกให้มึงรัก
[lòhk - hâi - mueng - rák]
trick, deceive - that - you - love
Official subs: for making you fall for me
→ I tricked you into being crazy about me,
หลอกให้มึงหลง
[lòhk - hâi - mueng - lŏng]
trick, deceive - that - you - be crazy about
Official subs: head over heels
→ and then I betrayed you.
แล้วหักหลังมึง
[láew - hàk lăng - meung]
and (then) - betray - you
Official subs: and then betraying you.
→ I deserve to die.
กูอ่ะสมควรตายเว้ย
[guu - àh - sŏm-kuuan - dtaai - wóiie]
I - [particle] - deserve - die - [particle]
Official subs: I deserve to die.
The wording is significant, not just because our keyword หลอก [lòhk] makes another appearance, but because Style repeats Popcorn's (aka Fadel's mirror, the one voicing how Fadel feels inside) words back to Fadel. Let's compare with what Popcorn was saying: "You tricked me into loving you and being crazy about you and then you do this. [...] There are no chances for bad people. People that trick others into loving them all deserve to die!" (Style's words: "I'm bad. I tricked you into loving me, I tricked you into being crazy about me, and then I betrayed you. I deserve to die.")
→ You tricked me into loving you and being crazy about you and then you do this.
มึงอ่ะมาหลอกให้กูรักกูหลง มึงก็ทำยังเงี้ย
[mueng - à- maa - lòhk - hâi - guu - rák - guu - lŏng • mueng - gôh - tam - yang -ngíia]
you - [particle] - come - trick, deceive - that - I - love - I - be crazy about • you - [sentence link] - do - like this
Official subs: You made me fall for you and then betrayed me.
[...]
→ There are no chances for bad people.
โอกาสมันไม่ได้มีไว้สำหรับคนเลว
[oh-gàat - man - mâi dâai - mii - wái - săm-ràp - kon leow]
chance - it - not - have - keep - for - bad people
Official subs: The likes of you don't deserve second chances.
→ People that trick others into loving them all deserve to die!
คนที่หลอกให้คนอื่นรัก สมควรให้ตายไปให้หมด
[kon - tîi -lòhk - hâi - kon èun - rák • sŏm-kuuan - hâi - dtaai bpai hâi mòt]
people - that - trick, deceive - that - others - love • deserve - that - die - all
Official subs: The likes of you who lead people on deserve nothing but death!
As you can see, Style uses almost the exact same words that Popcorn used and they are all words that Fadel had an emotional reaction to earlier that day. Style's been paying attention. Style finishes with "I deserve to die" just like Popcorn claimed was the case and then closes his eyes and tilts his head back a little like Go on, shoot me. I am at your mercy and I am ready to die for my sins.
Two things are happening here with this little monologue: Style is being a little shit by shamelessly mocking Fadel's empty death threats. Style knows Fadel won't kill him over this, because if tricking people into falling in love had been enough of a reason to fall under Fadel's category of Bad Person™ then Fadel would have killed Jimmy earlier that day. But Jimmy is alive. And so is Style.
And the other thing is that Style is also letting Fadel know that he's figured out what Fadel is really angry about. Style is fully acknowledging now what he did that hurt Fadel so much. It's very different from earlier that day when the car broke down and Style was all Hey, what happened happened. Let it go. Shouldn't you be looking forward to the future? Focus on the future. Let go of your grudge. I think in the beginning Style assumed that while yes, Fadel would think Style's love was fake, the main thing he was angry about was Style being a snitch for the police. But then they ran into Jimmy and Popcorn. And then Fadel got unnecessarily offended at someone else's trickery in a relationship Fadel had nothing to do with. And Style paid attention. It's not that Style was working with the police that's the problem. The "working with the police part" is the thing that Fadel was already suspecting and expecting from the beginning. Fadel had been ready for that. That wasn't the problem. No, what hurts the most is that Style had the audacity to play with Fadel's heart first before "cheating" on him by being on the police's side. Fadel is upset because he thinks Style's love was insincere, that it was all just an elaborate trick while for Fadel himself the love was all real and Style now fully and actively realizes that. And acknowledges it. Except, Fadel denies his feelings: "Don't be so full of yourself. I never fell for you."
Now, when Fadel tells Style not to be so full of himself, he actually tells Style not to คิดไปเอง [kít bpai eng]. Literally this phrase makes something like "think by oneself" and it's a phrase that my friend defined as "to come to a conclusion without there being any solid evidence for it". Fadel is basically telling Style something along the lines of "Don't make shit up, I never loved you." And yeah. He does indeed say "I never loved you" which to me sounds almost more hurtful than "I never fell for you":
กูไม่เคยรักมึง
[guu - mâi koiie - rák - mueng]
I - never - love - you
Fadel is a lying liar. And Style knows it. He stares at Fadel for a moment as if he can't believe Fadel really just dropped this with a straight face, then smiles a little. "You might be good at cooking and shooting, but you're not very good at lying at all." And with that, Style immediately puts Fadel to the test. He starts slowly kissing his way up Fadel's arms, pausing to check in with Fadel and even more so to check his reaction. When Style gets close enough to Fadel's face, he slowly leans in for a kiss, his eyes fixed on Fadel's eyes. Style advances very slowly, giving Fadel plenty of time. Fadel actually tilts his head a little towards Style, almost welcoming a kiss, but when their noses are about to touch Fadel turns his head away. And you'd think Style would be annoyed about Fadel refusing him once again, but instead Style smiles. Because I don't think Style went into this with the goal of actually seducing Fadel, of actually trying to sleep with him again like he did in the race car bed in the beginning of the episode (though I'm sure he wouldn't have minded if Fadel had consented). No, this wasn't an attempt at getting into Fadel's pants. This was a test. Fadel refuses to kiss Style and Style smiles a little, looking almost amused. He was expecting this.
There it is. Proof that Fadel is a lying liar who lies. Proof that Fadel is mad about and hurt because of the exact things that Style has just listed only moments before. Proof that Fadel did love him. Does love him. Still loves him. Style keeps looking at Fadel, but Fadel keeps his head turned away, avoiding eye contact at all costs. Instead of calling Fadel out for being a liar again, Style raises his eyebrows and backs off.
He sits back down on his spot at the other end of the tub and makes a promise: "As long as I'm alive, I'll make you kiss me again." Fadel, who in the meantime has started looking at Style again, lifts his head and goes back to avoiding eye contact with Style once more. He looks around the room. Looks anywhere but at Style. Looks at the painting on the wall instead. And that's when Fadel realizes. He knows exactly where Bison is. And with this we are left to wait a week for the next episode (except the next episode will already be out by the time I manage to post this rip).
If you think I have already spent enough words on this scene, think again. Because the dialogue in this scene is really interesting when thinking back to the bed scene from episode 5. Back then Fadel told Style "The real me might be scarier than you think". Towards the end of episode 7 and all throughout episode 8 Style has been getting glimpses of that real Fadel that he was warned about. Back in episode 5 Style knew about "the real Fadel" mostly in theory and told him "I promise that no matter what you are like, I'll still like you". And Fadel told Style that Style can judge once he's ready. And what is Style's judgment now that he's gotten to witness some of the real scary Fadel? "You're a good person at your core." And Style's stance on liking Fadel no matter what kind of person he is? "I just think there's probably no one out there who will warn you and mean well with you as much as I do." Fadel warned Style that Style should be wary of him, but Fadel also only kills bad people and Style isn't bad people and Style knows it. Fadel refused to fully open up to Style and right now in his anger he is likely even less willing to open up to Style at all and yet Style knows him, knows his present so well. And Style was even close to witnessing Fadel murdering someone and even though Style would rather Fadel didn't (and doesn't and won't), Style still doesn't judge Fadel for it. And even if Fadel had killed Jimmy, it likely wouldn't have made Style love Fadel any less. Back in episode 5 Style made the decision to be by this man's side and now in episode 8 he still firmly stands by this decision. In fact, maybe even more so now. Both of these scenes end in a promise made by Style: As long as I'm alive, I'll make you kiss me again. One day, I'll be your 100%. Style is absolutely set on this. And it won't be long until he makes good on that promise. At least on the promise he made this episode.
Hi y'all, this is the longest one yet. Don't ask me how much sleep I've been getting. And don't ask me about how my uni assignments are going. Or the studying for any exams. You don't wanna know.
ENJOY <3
Disclaimer: I just want to remind everyone that I am not a Thai native speaker and also in no way fluent yet (I'm roughly at B1/B2 level). There is a whoooole lot of language stuff in this meta and I didn't double check every single thing with native speakers because I didn't wanna overwhelm anyone with the number of questions, even though I already split my questions between three different people. That's how much language stuff I've packed in here this time. Oops. (There may be mistakes. I'm open to corrections.)
Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise.
To recap: When we last left Style he was absolutely stoked to have his boyfriend back. Fadel even confessed his love to Style, and while Fadel was acting a little weird, things were mostly all good, right? Nothing to worry about, thinks Style...
No. 1: How to Clean Your Boyfriend's Face
We start the episode with Style actually doing his (real) job for once, which is nice for a change, because I don't think we saw him actually working on a car ever since he started flirting with Fadel. However, he gets abruptly interrupted in his work when Fadel suddenly pulls him out from underneath the car without warning and attacks him with a shower of kisses. Style is very amused about it, but it's not the right time or place for something like this and so he complains, reminding Fadel that Style's father could show up. Fadel asks him if Style is scared and personally, I don't think it's that Style is scared. I think it's more about how off-guard Fadel caught him, Style wasn't mentally prepared for a sudden kiss shower/potential make-out session from one second to the next, especially considering how he was in the middle of working and would probably like to finish his task. And also, Style knows his dad is out and could return at any moment and let's be real... This would be a very awkward situation to have your parent walk in on, for both you and your parent.
But Fadel doesn't care and continues to shower Style in kisses anyway. Since the message didn't reach Fadel the first time or Fadel is deliberately ignoring the message, Style tries again, now explicitly asking Fadel if this was the time for kissing (I know in the subs it's a statement but in Thai he actually phrases it like a question). Instead of answering, Fadel goes into an explanation about the difference between a kiss and a peck which ends in a demonstration of what a kiss really is. Style is still very amused and even laughs, but he's getting more suspicious by the minute. He pushes Fadel away again and starts questioning him: "Why are you here?"
Now, this isn't literally what he's saying in Thai, but I can see why it would have been translated that way, because I, too, am struggling to find a way to make the literal translation sound smooth and natural in English. Plus, the second part of what he's saying can be taken a few different ways:
นี่มึงมาหากูอ่ะ มีอะไรหรือเปล่ว
[nîi - mueng - maa hăa - guu - àh • mii - à-rai - rĕu bplào]
[interjection] - you - come visit - me - [particle] • there is - something, anything - or not
Now, the literal translation of the first part is pretty straight forward, it's just "you came to visit me". The second part is slightly more complicated because the literal translation is "Do you have anything?" or "Do you have something?" which doesn't really make any sense in English. This phrase means something along the lines of:
What's up?/Is something up?/Is anything up?
Is there a problem?
Is something on your mind?
What's the matter?
Is something wrong?
Basically, the sentiment here is something along the lines of: "The reason why you came by, is there anything going on?" (Funnily enough I find this a lot easier to translate into German: "Dass du zu mir gekommen bist, gibt's denn was?")
Point is, Style isn't just asking "Why are you here?" because he's surprised and wants to know the reason, but he is specifically asking if there's anything up, because he can tell there is something off about Fadel's behavior and that there's got to be a reason for it. And when he says "You could have let me know you were coming", in Thai this is also phrased like a question:
Why didn't you let me know first?
ทำไมไม่ทักมาก่อนอ่ะ
[tam-mai - mâi - ták maa - gòn - àh]
why - not - speak to - first - [particle]
Again, Fadel doesn't really answer any of Style's questions and just comes up with a counter question: "We're dating. Can't I just pop by and see you?" Style is still very amused about this and the way he looks at Fadel is full of love and affection. However, as much as Style appreciates the sweetness, it's very out of character and that has him even more skeptical now: "What is this? You're being weirdly nice. What's with you?" By the way, when Style says "nice", the word he uses in Thai is หวาน [wăan], which translates to "sweet". Style is explicitly calling out Fadel's odd overly clingy behavior.
And again, Fadel deflects Style's inquiries about what is going on with him, this time with a complaint: "You don't like me being nice. You complain when I'm cold. What do you even want?"
I'm just gonna share the literal translation with you, even though it doesn't really make much of a difference (except for Fadel also saying "sweet" instead of "nice") simply just because I found it amusing:
When I'm sweet, you don't like it.
ตอนกูหวานมึงก็ไม่ชอบ
[dton - guu - wăan - mueng - gôr - mâi - chôp]
when - I - sweet - you - [sentence link] - not - like
Official subs: You don't like me being nice.
When I'm hostile, you still scold me.
ตอนกูโหดมึงก็ด่ากู
[dton - guu - hòht - mueng - gôr - dàa - guu]
when - I - aggressive - you - [sentence link] - scold - me
Official subs: You complain when I'm cold.
How exactly do you like it?
มึงชอบแบบไหนกันแน่เนี่ย
[mueng - chôp - bàep năi - gan nâe - nîia]
you - like - which way - exactly - [particle]
Official subs: What do you even want?
I just find it amusing that Fadel complains about Style scolding him, when Fadel has spent the first few episodes doing nothing but scold and yell at Style himself.
Anyway, Fadel turns it around on Style and Style is quick to conciliate him ("I'm just not used to you like this.") and then explicitly tells Fadel that he is being out of character ("You don't sound like you, you know?"). And let me just share a literal translation with you, for funsies:
I'm just not used to the tone of your voice right now.
กูแค่ไม่ชินกับน้ำเสียงมึงตอนเนี่ย
[guu - kâe - mâi - chin gàp - náam-sĭiang mueng - dton - nîia]
I - just - not - used to - your tone of voice - (right) now - [particle]
Official subs: I'm just not used to you like this.
You don't seem like you at all, you know?
ดูไม่เป็นมึงเลยรู้ป่ะ
[duu - mâi - bpen - mueng - loiie - rúu - bpà]
seem, look - not - be - you - [particle for emphasis] - know - [question particle]
Official subs: You don't sound like you, you know?
Fun fact: the word that is used to say "seem like" is ดู [duu], which also means "to look". That is to say, the sentence could also give a feeling of "it looks like it's not you at all" or "you don't look like you at all".
Fadel doesn't sound like himself in the way he speaks, and Fadel doesn't seem ("look") like himself in the way he behaves. Something is wrong with the Fadel that Style knows and loves, and Style can very much tell. So he keeps pulling back, keeps refusing to accept Fadel's affection and kisses until he's gotten to the bottom of what is going on. But Fadel hits him with a (seemingly) romantic line: "Don't you ever think that I'm only like this because of you?" This has Style smile. After all, Fadel isn't exactly wrong about this. Fadel has indeed changed through Style's influence since their first meeting. It's the most sincere thing Fadel has said in this entire conversation so far. And it's only then that Style finally lets Fadel kiss him without a protest while looking at Fadel fondly. And that, of course, is the exact moment Style's dad has to arrive home. Our lovebirds ended up being walked in on by a parent after all. How awkward.
Fadel quickly jumps to his feet and Style sits up. After a short banter between Style and his dad, Style's dad turns to Fadel and asks: "You're here so late. Where are you guys going?"
And again, I wanna share a more literal translation of the ensuing conversation:
Dad:
Where are you inviting him to go to?
จะชวนไปไหนกัน
[jà - chuuan - bpai - năi - gan]
will - invite - go - where - together
Official subs: Where are you guys going?
Fadel:
I'm not inviting him anywhere. I was gonna come to ask to spend the night.
ไม่ได้ชวนไปไหนครับ จะมาขอนอนค้าง
[mâi dâai - chuuan - bpai - năi - kráp • jà - maa - kŏh - nawn káang]
not - invite - go - anywhere - [krub] • will - come - ask for - spend the night
Official subs: We're not going anywhere. I'm just staying over.
It doesn't really make much of a difference here, but I find it interesting how just a little bit of rephrasing to "I'm just staying over" makes it sound like Fadel had already decided and was set on it (which to be fair he probably was anyway) while in Thai that decision is less straight forward, because he says he wanted to ask to spend the night (he's not just barging in, but asks for permission first. Although, let's be real, I'm sure if Style had said no, Fadel would have done his best to talk Style into letting him stay over anyway. That is, if he had even planned on spending the night at Style's in the first place or if he just said that to appease Style's dad, considering Fadel didn't even seem to bring his own PJs for a sleepover).
Anyway, Fadel wanting to spend the night is news to Style. He looks at Fadel with question marks all over his face. This isn't helping in making Fadel's behavior seem any less odd.
Style's dad is cool with Fadel staying over, but wants to have a chat with him under the guise of Fadel helping him. Once the dad has walked off, Style starts questioning Fadel again: "Hey. Why didn't you tell me you wanted to stay over?" Fadel crouches down, takes Style's head in his hands and says: "It's only normal for boyfriends to cuddle to sleep, right?" Style smiles at him and while there is so much adoration in his expression, he is also not at all convinced or reassured.
Style goes uncharacteristically quiet and almost kind of passive after Fadel crouches down, as if he's letting Fadel's touches and kisses just sort of happen to him. Style clearly has a bad feeling about this. He doesn't even keep the smile up until Fadel has walked away, instead his smile falls the moment Fadel has turned his back to him.
Something is very much not right about any of what just happened with Fadel and Style knows it:
Side quest: Protective Dad
Okay, so by now you're probably well aware of the fact that for this meta series I only look at scenes featuring Style. However, I do wanna take a quick dip into the scene between Fadel and Style's dad, because it confirms what I said in my ep6 meta when I went into why I think Style's dad asked Fadel whether Fadel was Style's one-time thing or if he was taking Style seriously:
[I]t's more [Style's dad] being a bit of a protective dad who wants to make sure the people his son keeps company with aren't gonna cause heartbreak to his son.
And it already shows in the scene when Style's dad walks in on them kissing. I actually shared this specific literal translation for a reason:
Dad: Where are you inviting him to go to?
Fadel: I'm not inviting him anywhere. I was gonna come to ask to spend the night.
Official translation:
Dad: Where are you guys going?
Fadel: We're not going anywhere. I'm just staying over.
What is happening in Thai is that Style's dad is addressing only Fadel with his question. Where are you taking my son? What are you gonna be doing with my son? What are your plans with my son?
Style's dad trusts his own son, but Fadel is a stranger to him and so he needs to make sure his son will be safe in Fadel's hands. After all, Style's dad and Style only have each other now. And we've already heard from Style how important they are to each other. And when Fadel lets dad know they're staying in, dad is relieved: "That's good. Stay over so I don't have to worry."
After that, he immediately pulls Fadel aside to question him some more away from his son: "So I take it you're serious about him, then?" I wanna share some of the ensuing conversation with a more literal translation again:
Fadel:
Serious in what way?
จริงจังแบบไหนครับ
[jing jang - bàep năi - kráp]
serious - how, in what way - [krub]
Official subs: What do you mean?
Dad:
Well, serious as in calling it dating. (lit.: "calling it being each other's faen/being boyfriends")
ก็จริงจังแบบที่เรียกว่าเป็นแฟนกันน่ะ
[gôr - jing jang - bàep - têe - rîiak wâa - bpen faen gan - nâ]
well - serious - like - that - be called - dating - [particle]
Official subs: You're really dating him, aren't you?
My son isn't imagining it, right?
ลูกกูไม่ได้คิดไปเองใช่ไหม
[lûuk guu - mâi dâai - kít bpai eng - châi măi]
my son - not - imagining/thinking by oneself - right?
Official subs: He's not being led on, is he?
I wanted to share this mostly because of the last sentence. Usually, Style's dad uses the rude pronouns guu/mueng when talking to Style (he does with Fadel, too) and so he also uses the rude pronoun man when referring to him in 3rd person in this conversation with Fadel. But in the last sentence he refers to Style as "my son" specifically, which I adore. That's his son! Style is his son! And he doesn't want to see his son get hurt because the guy he's with was just playing him and it was all just one-sided on Style's part in the end.
Fadel says he's not leading Style on. Style's dad is a bit relieved and shares that he was worried since Style was the one who hit on Fadel first. Now this is very interesting, because that feeds right into the discussions from after episode 3 dropped about Style preferring to be pursued rather than doing the pursuing himself which I also address in my ep3 meta.
Anyway, Style's dad says that he won't have to worry anymore and then continues to say:
I don't know what the world of two men together is like,
กูก็ไม่รู้หรอกนะว่าโลกของผู้ชายกับผู้ชายมันเป็นยังไง
[guu - gôr - mâi - róo - ròk - ná - wâa - lôhk - kŏng - pûu-chaai - gàp pûu-chaai - man - bpen - yang-ngai]
I - not - know - [particle] - [particle] - that - world - of - man - with, and - man - it - is - how
Official subs: I don't know anything about dating boys,
but if you like him, then like him for a long time.
แต่ถ้ามึงชอบมันอ่ะก็ชอบมันให้นานๆ
[dtàe - tâa - mueng - chôp - man - àh • gôr - chôp - man - hâi naan naan]
but - if - you - like - him - [particle] - then - like - him - for a long time
Official subs: but if you're gonna date him, I hope it's steady.
There is no deeper reason behind me sharing this except that it amuses me that the dad phrases gay dating as "the world of a man with a man" and that I think somehow the dad asking Fadel to like Style for a long time sounds almost sweeter to me than the word "steady". I don't know, maybe the word "steady" simply just sounds kinda weird to my ESL brain. And I like how phrasing it as "like him for a long time" makes liking Style something that Fadel actively does. Fadel is an active participant in this relationship, this relationship is not something that kind of just is. Fadel can actively influence how the relationship is gonna go and how it will affect the well-being of dad's son. It's almost like a task that Style's dad is giving him.
Style's dad closes with "My son may talk big and annoy people, but when he loves, he does with his whole heart. Just like his old man does." And we know dad is speaking the truth when he says Style loves with all his heart. Episodes 5 and 6 are proof of that. (Btw, the literal translation of what Style's dad says about Style loving with his whole heart actually sounds less poetic in English compared to the phrasing of the subs: he says that when Style loves someone, he "truly loves them". I can't speak for the connotations in Thai, though, because I didn't ask anyone about it. Maybe it sounds more poetic to a Thai native speaker than it does to me.)
Anyway, I just adore this scene, because in episode 1 and episode 4 we already got some glimpses into the dynamic Style has with his dad and in episode 5 Style revealed just how important his dad was to him. And now in episode 7 we get to see dad's side of it as well. He is so very protective over his son and he will let Fadel know. In fact, so far in every single scene in which Style's dad and Fadel have interacted, Style's dad has made it very clear to Fadel that he is worried about Fadel's intentions with his son. Honestly, the fact that Style's dad is so adamant about this makes me wonder if maybe he's had to watch his son get his heart broken before and doesn't want a repeat of that. Either way, I just adore this father-son relationship and I hope Style's dad will make it out of this story okay (no one dies in a romcom, right? 🥺). And I hope he adopts Fadel in the end.
No. 2: Scent Addict
Just as a quick reminder, we left Style sitting on his cart on the floor of the garage looking very concerned and very confused, clearly suspicious of Fadel and uncharacteristically quiet. Now we come back to Style sitting on his bed on the floor, watching his boyfriend make a big show of sniffing his shirt (shout out to the costume department for using the chance to put Joong in a crop top! They're the real MVPs). Fadel compliments Style's smell and Style is not impressed. In fact, Style immediately calls Fadel out for being weird again: "I think something's wrong with you. It's not like you to talk so sweet." Or in its more literal wording:
I think you're unwell.
กูว่ามึงไม่สบายแล้วนะ
[guu - wâa - mueng - mâi sà-baai - láew - ná]
I - think - you - ill, unwell - already, now - [na]
It really doesn't seem like you to be so sickly sweet.
มึงหวานเลี่ยนแบบเนี้ยดูไม่ใช่มึงเลย
[mueng - wăan lîian - bàep níia - duu - mâi châi - mueng - loiie]
you - overly sweet - like this - seem, look - not - you - [particle for emphasis]
I mainly wanted to share this, because in the second sentence he uses almost the exact same wording like earlier on the garage floor when he said that Fadel didn't seem like himself:
ดูไม่เป็นมึงเลยรู้ป่ะ
[duu - mâi - bpen - mueng - loiie - rúu - bpà]
seem, look - not - be - you - [particle for emphasis] - know - [question particle]
Official subs: You don’t sound like you, you know?
Compared with what he says now:
มึงหวานเลี่ยนแบบเนี้ยดูไม่ใช่มึงเลย
[mueng - wăan lîian - bàep níia - duu - mâi châi - mueng - loiie]
you - overly sweet - like this - seem, look - not - you - [particle for emphasis]
Official subs: It's not like you to talk so sweet.
Again, the image Style is being presented of Fadel doesn't look like the image of Fadel that he knows and loves. Fadel laughs, says he's fine and sits down on the bed next to Style. Back in the garage, Fadel responded with "Don't you ever think that I'm only like this because of you?" which was a truth so sufficiently sincere that it satisfied Style enough to the point to let Fadel kiss him without a protest, completely oblivious to the fact that Fadel didn't necessarily mean this truth in the way Style thought he meant it. Now in Style's room, Fadel's response to Style's accusation of not seeming like himself is similar to the one on the garage floor: "Meeting you has brought out a different side in me, is all. Didn't you notice? I'm happier. I smile more." Again, Fadel goes for the truth. We know it's the truth because we've watched Fadel smile and laugh and just be happy whenever he was around Style ever since their conversation by the car in episode 4 that led to a change in their relationship status. We know this, and Style knows it, too. There is no need to be suspicious about this, what Fadel said makes complete sense. Style agrees: "You're right. You were like a vicious dog before this. You even beat me up. I should get the credits for bringing out this sweet side in you."
Fun fact, Style actually doesn't want the credits himself but wants to give them to his charm specially instead:
I have to give credits to my charm for being able to pull this extreme sweetness out of you.
นี่กูต้องให้เครดิตเสน่ห์กูนะ ที่ดึงความหวานเลี่ยนออกจากตัวมึงได้อ่ะ
[nîi - guu - dtông - hâi - kreh-dìt - sà-nèh guu - ná • tîi - deung - kwaam wăan lîian - òk - jàak - dtuua meung - dâai - àh]
[interjection] - I - have to - give - credits - my charm - [particle] • that - pull, draw - overly sweet sweetness - out - from - your body - be able to - [particle]
Fadel laughs and throws his arms around Style, resting his chin on Style's upper arm. But Style feels stinky after having worked on a car and really doesn't want to be hugged right now because it's kinda gross. Fadel doesn't care, though, and just starts smelling Style on purpose. In Fadel's opinion, Style doesn't smell bad. In fact, Fadel likes Style's smell. Or at least that's what Fadel claims, because Style just can't imagine it to be true. He jokes that Fadel must really be unwell if he likes the smell of gasoline. Style informs Fadel that you can get addicted to that and Fadel responds that he thinks he's already addicted, then. Style smiles fondly. Fadel says he hella likes it to the point that no doctor anywhere can cure it:
I freaking like it.
โคตรชอบเลย
[kôht chôp loiie]
extremely, very much - like - [particle for emphasis]
Official subs: I love it.
Like this, no doctor anywhere can cure it.
แบบเนี่ย หมอที่ไหนก็รักษาไม่ได้
[bàep nîia • mŏh - têe năi - gôh - rák-săa - mâi - dâai]
like this • doctor - anywhere, somewhere - [sentence link] - cure, treat - not - be able do
Official subs: Guess it's incurable.
What I love about this whole bit is that Style keeps complaining and keeps questioning Fadel's sense of smell, but he still lets Fadel hug him and smell him without trying to shake him off in any way. And ultimately, he is also charmed that Fadel is still so into him, even when he himself feels so dirty and smelly and gross:
(↑ This is Style's face in reaction to Fadel saying he's addicted to the smell of gasoline aka Style's smell, btw. Look at him smiling and leaning closer. This absolutely worked on him.)
Now, the question that we, the audience, get to ask ourselves is just how much of what Fadel is saying and doing here is for show and how much of this is genuine on Fadel's part. Personally, I do think all of the kisses and his opinions on Style's smell come from a genuine place and Fadel just takes what's already there and plays it up a lot more than he usually would. It's both genuine and ingenuine at the same time. In a way, it's also almost as if he's also trying to use the opportunity to get as much out of it for himself as well while he still can. In any case, from the moment he sat down on the bed, Fadel is definitely being more genuine and sincere than compared to earlier at the garage. And Style also reacts to Fadel's behavior differently. In the garage he kept trying to push Fadel away, kept asking him questions to get to the bottom of things. But now, especially after Fadel has truthfully pointed out how he's gotten happier and has started smiling more because of Style, Style lets Fadel get closer again. Style still looks confused and skeptical when Fadel hugs him, and while he does lean away from Fadel a little when Fadel gets close, he doesn't try to push him off immediately. It takes over half a minute before he finally wiggles in Fadel's arms and insists on showering for the first time. And when Fadel then just continues to shower him with kisses, Style doesn't try to push him away like he did in the garage, nor does he try to get his own body away from Fadel in any way. He doesn't even try to wiggle his way out again when he repeats that he's gonna take a shower. What's more, back in the garage, Style also kept asking Fadel questions to find out what the hell had suddenly gotten into him, but now, even though it definitely registers that Fadel is clingier than usual, Style is still reassured enough to go along with it and to have flirty banter about being addicted to the smell of gasoline instead of interrogating Fadel about his behavior. Style isn't really pushing Fadel away this time, but goes along with it, not just in letting Fadel shower him with kisses for a significant amount of time or in taking part in the flirty banter, but also later in complying when Fadel asks for kisses. Style even leans a little closer to Fadel when he asks "Happy now?" after obeying to Fadel's wish. And of course Style is still weirded out about Fadel's uncharacteristically clingy behavior and is still trying to read him, is still trying to figure out what's going on, but I think when they're sitting on the bed it's happening more as a side thought and his main concern really is that he is gross and stinky and just wants to go get cleaned up already.
And so he tells Fadel just that. That he'll go take a shower. But instead of letting Style go, Fadel just goes back to sniff kissing Style's arm. Style tries again. Fadel stares at him for a moment, then points at both of his own cheeks. Fine. If that is the price Style has to pay for Fadel letting him go take a shower, Style will gladly pay it in full. Style makes sure Fadel is completely satisfied now, even dropping a "krub" on him:
Happy? You happy, krub?
พอใจมั้ย พอใจมั้ยครับ
[poh-jai - mái • poh-jai - mái - kráp]
be satisfied, content, pleased - ? • be satisfied, content, pleased - ? - [krub]
(German speakers: พอใจ [poh-jai] has the same vibe as "zufrieden" to me.)
Fadel finally releases him and Style gets up. But he doesn't get very far before Fadel catches his hand and holds him back. Style turns back around, laughs, and is affectionately annoyed. There really does seem to be something going on with Fadel and Style directly calls him out, questioning him again:
Why are you being so cutesy today?
ทำไมวันนี้อ้อนจังเลยอ่ะ
[tam-mai - wan-níi - ôhn - jang loiie - àh]
why - today - cutesy - so much - [particle]
Official subs: You're so weird today.
The word that Style uses here that I phrased as "cutesy" is อ้อน [ôn] which was explained to me as acting a certain cutesy way because you want something from the other person (which can also be something like simply just wanting affection). In the words of my friend, the mood this word conveys is basically "a cat rubbing up against you". And it makes sense for Style to call out Fadel for being so overly clingy and affectionate when Fadel has never really been that way with him before.
To Style's surprise, instead of Fadel being more clingy and affectionate (or asking to join Style in the shower, which I personally was expecting to happen), Fadel asks him on a date the next day. Fadel then reveals that it'll be Bison's birthday and Style wants to buy him a present, but Fadel says Style doesn't have to. That it's Kant's duty. Style should buy something for Fadel instead. Style asks on which day his birthday is and Fadel tells him it's on Christmas. Style loves that and tells him: "Lucky you. That's a good day to be born on. I'll be your Santa Claus sneaking in your house and leaving a present for you." Fadel wants to know what that present will be. Style doesn't say anything, just looks at Fadel for a moment before he leans forward and plants a kiss onto Fadel's lips. When he looks at Fadel afterwards, his expression is full of adoration:
It's as Style's dad said: when Style loves someone, he really truly does. With all of his heart. And that heart full of love is exactly what he will give to Fadel. Fadel laughs. Style's smile widens a tiny bit. He's in love. Then he turns around, making sure he gets his face just a liiittle bit closer to Fadel's while he turns, and then finally makes it to his shower.
Style can't see the way Fadel's expression darkens after Style has walked away.
No. 3: I Know You Don't Know I Know
The date turns out to be a BB gun war. Of course the lovebirds have teamed up boyfriends vs. boyfriends. Style is in the middle of firing a few shots towards the other team when Fadel stops him. Style tells him that he can handle the enemy himself, but Fadel says Kant has to go through him first. Then he makes a very shady comment: "He started all this, after all." Style squints at Fadel, alarmed and confused.
That's weird. Fadel isn't supposed to know this. Style asks for clarification and Fadel elaborates: "Because he hit on my brother, you got to know me." Or in his actual wording, because I'm having too much fun with this:
Ai'Kant came to hit on my little brother and you came to hit on me.
ไอ้กานต์มาจีบน้องกู แล้วมึงก็มาจีบกู
[âi Kant - maa - jìip - nóng guu • láew - meung - gôr - maa - jìip - guu]
Ai'Kant - come - hit on - my little brother • and - [sentence link] - come - hit on - me
Fadel then repeats that this is how Kant started it and subtly throws Style a challenge: "What did you think I mean?" Or also:
What were you thinking (of/about)?
มึงคิดอะไรเนี่ย
[mueng - kít - à-rai - nîia]
you - think - what - [particle]
While this sure is plausible, Style still isn't very reassured. It seems like a weird time to bring this up, especially with Fadel having acted very out of character the day before. Not to mention, why would Fadel pull a correlation between Kant hitting on Bison and Style hitting on Fadel? For all Fadel should know, he and Style first met when Style crashed into Fadel's car. There is no reason for Style's flirting to be related to Kant hitting on Bison in any way. But Style can't exactly tell Fadel all that, so he brushes Fadel's question off, saying he wasn't thinking of anything. Then he brings the topic back around to their war game: "But you gotta let me play, too." Now here I do desperately need to share Style's actual words, because we've got something very interesting going on here:
But let me take a shot some time, too.
แต่มึงให้กูยิงบ้างดิ
[dtàe - mueng - hâi - guu - ying - bâang - dì]
but - you - let - me - shoot - some - [particle]
(Alt. translations": "But let me shoot some too." or "But let me take some shots.")
Style doesn't just wanna play the game, no, he actively wants to take a shot himself. Might that be foreshadowing? Will Style be shooting someone at some point? If this was a video essay, I would now put a counter in a corner that takes note of every time there is a reference to Style shooting a gun this episode.
Style says Fadel doesn't have to act like his bodyguard all the time and then leans closer to tell Fadel: "I know you're good at this. But I ain't no loser, either." There is a lot of weight to Style's words, he really means what he says. This is important to him. He wants to be able to stand his own ground, too. Although, it's actually kind of ironic that Style says this. We all saw how he did in that fight at the host club in episode 3. But then again, maybe watching Fadel take on three grown men on his own while being completely useless in the situation himself has kicked Style into determination to be able to fight for himself alongside Fadel, especially once he found out about Fadel's hitman identity. Or maybe he's played a lot of BB gun war games before and is actually good with guns, but is simply just useless in a fist-fight.
Anyway, this time it's Style who's said something that suspiciously alludes to something that Style actually in reality should not know. He doesn't know that Fadel now knows Style knows and so when Fadel calls him out on it, Style is caught a little off-guard. "How'd you know I'm good at this?", Fadel asks. It's a very pointed question, a suspiciously specific question. Style stutters for a moment before he comes up with a plausible reason: "I can tell from how you hold your gun. It's obvious you're a professional." Without Style's knowledge his word choice betrays him again. Right after the words are out of Style's mouth, Fadel suddenly leans over to fire some shots at the other team past Style's shoulder (part of me wonders, if Fadel really did need to shoot right then and there or if he just did it for the draaamaaa~~~), then grills Style some more: "Professional what?" Now, here's a the literal translation of how this conversation goes:
S: Just from that I already know you're a professional.
รู้เเค่นี้ก็รู้ว่ามึงมืออาชีพ
[rúu - kâe née - gôh - rúu wâa - mueng - meu aa-chîip]
know - just that - [sentence link] - know that - you - professional
Official subs: It's obvious you're a professional.
F: What profession?
อาชีพอะไร
[aa-chîip - a-rai]
profession, occupation - what
Official subs: Professional what?
There is definitely something not right here with the way Fadel is phrasing his questions. With the way he is explicitly asking Style to state what Fadel's occupation is, an occupation through which one would gain expertise in how to hold and shoot guns. "What profession?" This is not a genuine question, it's a challenge. Does Fadel know anything that Style doesn't know?
Again Style takes a while to answer, searching Fadel's face for any hints before he says "Professional BB gun shooter."
Fadel laughs and finally stops grilling Style with questions he can't yet answer truthfully. Instead, Fadel drops a cheesy line on him. "I can’t help but get protective over my boyfriend." Although I feel like the Thai version sounds a bit less cheesy (at least the English translation of it, I forgot to ask my friend about the connotations in Thai):
I have a habit of looking after my boyfriend.
กูติดนิสัยดูแลแฟน
[guu - dtìt ní-săi - duu-lae - faen]
I - have a habit (of) - looking after, taking care of - boyfriend
Then, Fadel takes up on Style's wish to get some shots in as well and suggests Style watches his back, telling him not to let anyone shoot Fadel. Style still looks at Fadel with that searching look on his face. Fadel is clearly playing at something, but Style can't figure out what exactly that is. Then Fadel hits him with another pointed question:
I can trust you, right?
กูไว้ใจมึงได้ใช่ป่ะ
[guu - wái-jai - mueng - dâai - châi bpà]
I - trust - you - can - right?
Official subs: Can I trust you to do that?
Style still doesn't answer immediately, but instead of question marks, there is now determination in his face. This is a question he can firmly answer from the bottom of his heart. "Yeah. You can trust me." Fadel acknowledges it, but then waves his BB gun at Style in a subtle threat: "Don't let me down." The message certainly reaches Style clear as day. He doesn't say anything, instead just searches Fadel's face again for answers he can't find.
Fadel gets up and throws himself back into the battle. Style stays put and watches him run off. Style squints a little as he stares after Fadel.
Something was very much not right about this conversation. Fadel's questions were too specific, too threatening even at certain points. Fadel is clearly onto something but Style just can't find the missing puzzle piece that would explain Fadel's recent behavior or all his probing questions. This isn't really the time to dwell on this, though, so after a moment Style gets back to playing as well.
The very first thing we see of Style next after Style says Fadel can trust him is Style shooting Kant in the back, which has me wondering if he will end up metaphorically shooting Kant in the back in a future episode. The "Style + guns" counter is up to 2. Style tells Kant "Love sure makes you do something stupid" which has got to be foreshadowing (exactly what stupid things are gonna be happening out of love?? 👀) and then Fadel walks over, puts his arm around Style's shoulder and brags about him. Style looks at Fadel, his expression content and pleased as they stand there arm in arm. Style got his shots in. He did Fadel proud. He did not let him down.
No. 4: The Power of Love
Now this scene is very interesting, because it's like Style does a complete 180. From the way he talks you'd think he's entirely forgotten how he's called out Fadel for behaving weird and saying weird things in literally every single scene from this episode so far. You'd think he's forgotten how Fadel was suspiciously dodging most of his questions on the garage floor. You'd think he's forgotten about how uncharacteristically sickly sweet and clingy Fadel was when he stayed in Style's bedroom. You'd think he's forgotten about how only earlier that day they were dancing around the topic of Fadel's true identity and how Fadel kept challenging and even subtly threatening him. What happened to the Style that was so very skeptical and suspicious of Fadel all episode?
Now, I think everything Style is saying here makes complete sense for his character. Style has always been a character full of optimism and hope (showcased perfectly well in episode 6) and especially in scenes with Kant he has often been the optimistic counterpart to Kant's pessimism and realism: When Kant was worried about James, Style suggested that James could simply just be out of town. When the Captain was about to arrest the brothers, Style figured the brothers would be free as soon as their boss was caught before Kant reminded him that that's not how it works in real life. When Kant and Style stood in front of closed restaurant doors, Style reminded Kant of and held onto how attached the brothers were to them. Now in the showers, when Kant voices his suspicions, Style is overly confident and optimistic again.
Style tells Kant "you think too much" when Style has done nothing but think a lot in all his scenes with Fadel so far. And all his thinking shows in the way he immediately has counter-arguments ready without taking a moment to come up with something. Style has been through all of this in his head already. I don't think that Style is necessarily actively talking himself into believing what he says, because his mood is too good for that and what he says sounds a bit too genuine for it to be addressed to himself. I think this really is the hope within him talking. And, frankly, also his confidence. I mean, look at the two of them. Who wouldn't quit their assassin job to be with them? Style and Kant are that awesome. Style fully believes that. And he fully believes in the power of love.
What was the thing that Style's dad said again? When Style loves, he truly does with all his heart. Style loves so sincerely, so intensely that of course it would feel powerful. Of course there is power in love. Of course it can turn a bad guy good. Why wouldn't it? Fadel went from a grumpy cat to someone who constantly smiles around Style because of Style's love. Fadel wore the matching couple shirts because of Style's love. Fadel danced and sang karaoke in public because of Style's love. Fadel wore fan make-up in public because of Style's love. Why wouldn't Fadel stop killing because of and for Style's love? And why would the same thing not go for Bison and the love Kant has for him? I know there've been some entertaining posts going around making fun of how Style puts killing people on the same level as stealing cars, but that's just genuinely how Style thinks. Because Style doesn't draw a comparison in which one is worse. Both are simply bad. Both Kant and Bison did bad things. They can bond over that. And the power of love will fix things.
Just like in episode 6, Style refuses to just sit there in misery. He refuses to be stressed as long as there is still a small glimmer of hope that things end well. Yes, Fadel has been acting weird, but until Style has definite proof that something is indeed extremely wrong, he'll go and enjoy life. As long as there is still a positive, plausible explanation or a positive way out, he'll go and enjoy life. There could be something wrong, but there doesn't have to be and so Style chooses to hold onto the thought that there isn't anything wrong for now until proven otherwise. And with that energy, he goes bowling that same night.
No. 5: Eventful Evening
The four of them round off Bison's birthday with a double date at the bowling alley. Style is in the bestest of moods. Kant and Bison walk off for some bowling. Fadel and Style stay back at the table and watch from a distance as Kant hands Bison his birthday present. Style is impressed at how romantic Kant is being. Style could never. And now that I think about it, that actually seems to be true. Style has been romantic towards Fadel, but from the top of my head I can't remember a single instance in which Style pulled a pre-planned and pre-prepared romantic gesture on Fadel. But that's okay. Because Fadel likes Style exactly the way he is. And Style is cool with that. He continues to say: "But you know, maybe I get like that, too. I could spring a ring on you one day and just ask you to marry me."
You never know! Fadel reacts fondly. Style throws him another happy smile. They both go to take a sip of their beer. Out of the blue, Style starts choking and ends up on the couch. Fadel panics. Style springs a ring on him and goes: "Will you marry me?"
Pronoun time! For just this one sentence, for just the marriage proposal Style switches to the polite phom pronoun before he jumps back to the rude guu pronoun:
แต่งงานกับผมนะครับ
[dtàeng ngaan gàp - pŏm - ná - kráp]
marry - me - [na] - [krub]
Now, at this point I sincerely need to apologize to those who read my ep6 meta before I went ahead and edited it, because I made a really big mistake: I completely forgot to mention a very important language note in a specific scene because there was so much else going on that scene and it was only when I watched the cast reaction to ep6 that it hit me. I have since edited my meta post and added it, but if you missed it let me tell you there is a word play I failed to mention in the scene where Fadel puts make-up on Style: you know when Style says "Then you should put some makeup on, too"? The word he uses here is แต่ง [dtàeng], which is used in the sense of แต่งหน้า [dtàeng nâa] which means "to put make-up on" or is also used in the sense of แต่งงาน [dtàeng ngaan] which means, well, "to get married" or "to marry". In Thai, Style leaves out the second part of the phrase that makes it explicit which of the two it is and so the sentence can be heard either as "So, will you put on make-up with me?" or as "So, will you marry me?"
And it's just veeeery interesting that Style asks Fadel to marry him for the second episode in a row. If it happens again next episode, I'm calling it. But for now, let's wait and see 👀
Style is absolutely delighted that his little prank actually worked on Fadel: "You're usually too smart for me." Fadel stares at him for a moment, then shakes his head, sighs, and replies: "Not at all. I'm a damn fool. That's how you got me."
And fun fact: when he says "That's how you got me", in Thai the word that was translated as "got" is หลอก [lòhk] which means "to trick" or "to deceive". Style tricked Fadel. And we know Fadel definitely isn't referring to just the marriage proposal alone. As perceptive as Style has been all episode about Fadel's weird behavior, now the double meaning slips right by him. Personally, I think it's because at this point he's too tipsy to pay attention to this and he's also in too good of a mood to care. Besides, he's already decided to be optimistic about Fadel's behavior. Style grins at Fadel, slips the ring back onto his own finger, then holds out his hand to Fadel and looks up at him. With an eye roll, Fadel obliges and pulls Style up onto his feet. Style then excuses himself to go to the restroom.
Style is so tipsy, he is about to fall asleep at the urinal when a random guy he doesn't know walks in and strikes up a conversation with him. Now, I think the whole thing about "We gotta keep these good things, don't you think? People don't seem to appreciate antiques anymore" is definitely alluding to something, but we're gonna have to keep watching to find out. And Style certainly wouldn't know, after all he doesn't know this dude. The guy walks into one of the cubicles and honestly, considering the ensuing interaction between Fadel and Style, I think Style is drunk enough that this didn't even fully register with him or maybe he just immediately forgets about it the moment Fadel walks in.
Style is quite surprised to see Fadel enter the restroom as well, but is also very happy about it: "Did you miss me so much you had to follow me to the bathroom?" This thought excites Style. Then Fadel asks about the other guy and starts looking through the stalls. Fadel's behavior is kinda weird again, but I think this time around Style really is too drunk to properly take note of it and connect it with Fadel's secret life. And as mentioned before, Style has decided to focus on the positives and not to stress unless given a solid reason to do so. And so for a moment Style observes Fadel checking the stalls before pushing Fadel against the wall and asking if he is jealous. When Fadel finally says yes, Style huffs a little, looking kinda pleased. And I can't help but think of @secriden's post about how back in episode 5 when Style said "I hope you're not the jealous type like your brother is" his body was saying the exact opposite of his words. And let me just share @braceletofteeth's tag on that very post too, while I'm at it:
#Style wants Fadel to claim him as his so bad it makes him look stupid #just like he takes pride in choosing his own man #he would be proud to be chosen as Fadel's man #delighted‚ if Fadel let others (and Style) know he's the one who earned the space reserved for his special someone #in his heavily secured heart #if he was so special to Fadel that he wouldn't want him to be taken away #or to share him with anyone else
I think we can really see this here in this scene as well. Fadel claims he's jealous and from Style's POV is in search of the random dude in order to take it up with him and defend his position as Style's boyfriend and that thought immediately has Style horny for Fadel. He advances on Fadel, trapping him against the wall on one side and goes on a monologue about how he only has Fadel now. The thought of Fadel being jealous has Style so horny for Fadel, he's ready to hook up with him right then and there in the bathroom stall. By now, Style has most definitely gotten too distracted and as a result forgotten that the random dude from earlier is still there. Lucky for Keen, Fadel declines and leaves the bathroom. Style stays back for a moment, watches him walk away, licks his lips and then follows him out.
Side note: Okay, so over my previous metas I've been very clear about how I think that Style isn't the kind of person to enjoy sleeping around all that much (at least not as much as Kant does). And in my ep3 meta I said that I think Style enjoys flirting around much more than sleeping around, attention hoe and chatty cat that he is. Now here in the bathroom, when he says that he only has Fadel now that of course could be taken as Style hooks up with many people. However, what he says right before that strengthens my belief that Style much rather flirts than actually hooks up: "I know I’m cute and all that. It’s only normal people strike up a conversation." Style never shuts up. And flirting? Hitting on someone? Is typically done via talking. So of course he'll engage with people striking up a conversation. And also, Style calls himself cute. I mean, I'm asexual so I wouldn't know, but if you wanna end up in bed with someone wouldn't you like them to consider you "hot" or "sexy" rather than "cute"? At least that's how I'm imagining it that it goes (allos feel free to share some personal experience that I'm lacking). Anyway, yeah. I think, Style very much enjoys the whole flirting part. After all, that'll give him both attention as well as an excuse to talk.
Edit: FUCK, I JUST REMEMBERED THAT STYLE ACTUALLY HAS SEEN KEEN BEFORE IN EP3 WHEN HE EAVESDROPPED ON THEIR CONVERSATION!! That, of course, changes things significantly. I'm currently very busy working on my ep8 meta, but I'm gonna have to go back at some point and rethink this scene from the viewpoint of Style knowing that Keen has something to do with Fadel.
When Fadel and Style return from the bathroom, to Style's surprise he finds Kant with a kid. Style immediately walks over to say hello. I've seen discussions and headcanons on Style potentially helping Kant raise Babe. So far we saw Babe and Style in a scene together only one single time and they didn't even interact, so we don't really know what Style's relationship with Babe is like, but it certainly is quite likely that Style is an honorary older brother or uncle to Babe. Another thing I'm thinking is that Style probably also simply just likes kids. He is very excited and motivated to interact with the kid and I'm wondering if Style would like to have children of his own some time. After all, he did seem very open to the idea of being impregnated by Fadel back in episode 4.
But from one moment to the next his happy little interaction is interrupted by an unexpected gun shot. Some guy is waving around a gun and screaming bloody murder over his (ex) girlfriend. Style stays with Kant and the kid. That is, until Fadel claims to be the girl's new boyfriend. Maybe you've already seen a post about Style's outcry going around, but if you haven't, then let me just explain what Style literally says when he goes "Take it back!"
ผัวเค้าเหี้ยอะไร
[pŭua - káo - hîia - àrai]
husband - her - fuck, damn - what
Now, several things here: the characters use the word ผัว [pŭua] which is a slang term for "husband" which is also used in the sense of "boyfriend" (as far as I've picked up on the word doesn't mean that the people are married for real, though I might be wrong about this). In the following I'll use "man", because "husband" sounds too formal and "hubby" also sounds kinda weird in this context. Next, the word เหี้ย [hîia] is a curse word kinda like "fuck/fucking" or "shit" or "damn". Word for word the Thai sentence makes "her man fuck what" (alt.: "her man fucking what"). The sentiment of it is roughly:
Her man, my ass.
The fuck you on about, her man??
Her man, the fuck??
Her man, fuck no.
What the fuck, her man??
Take your pick. Style is very upset about this, even if rationally he knows that Fadel is doing it to protect the girl from being murdered. But in his drunken state and this being a life-or-death situation, he reacts emotionally instead (which tends to be his main route even when he's sober anyway, it's just worse now). This brings us back to: Style wants Fadel to claim him as his so bad it makes him look stupid (quoted from @braceletofteeth). Only minutes ago Style was excited at the prospect of Fadel being jealous and fighting for him and now here Fadel is, claiming someone else as his in a hall full of people. It stings, even if it's just pretend. Fadel is his boyfriend, thank you very much. Style's had to work hard, fight hard to even get to this position and he's not gonna let anyone, not even Fadel himself, take that away from him, goddammit. "Her man, the fuck?? You're MY boyfriend!!" But Kant pulls Style back down, worried about Style's safety. Style lets it go.
In the meantime, the assassin brothers are working on taking the shooter down and each gets hurt in the process. Both Kant and Style run to their respective boyfriends. Fadel shoos Style away, though, ordering him to check on Bison first. Style looks up and with terror realizes that the shooter isn't being checked on and could cause more harm at any moment. Style jumps to his feet and runs to the gun, picks it up and shoves it into the shooter's face without any hesitation. And that's a 3 on our "Style + guns" counter. Three times is a pattern, no?
Now, I've seen people wondering if Style maybe has some experience with guns from the way he confidently pointed it at the man. It could be a possibility (after all he seemed to have a handle on the BB guns as well), but I think a big reason why he reacted like this is that Style simply just likes to help and tends to act like a mediator (when he's not actively picking the fights himself). His reaction here really reminds me of the way he also threw himself into the fist fight at the host club, despite being a terrible fighter and standing no chance against those men. He sees that the situation is dangerous and his main desire is that it is resolved with as little harm being caused as possible. Style isn't really thinking here in this moment (in the sense of that he's actively using his brain). He acts on instinct and his instinct is telling him to keep the gun away from the shooter and to make sure the guy doesn't cause any more harm. Style's desire to protect his loved ones is so strong he doesn't even have the capacity to think about what he's doing here and whether he is even capable of shooting the gun in the first place and what that could potentially do to his mental state if he shoots (and possibly kills) someone. There is only "MUST PROTECT" going on in his mind. Finally, staff drags the dangerous man away. Style calls an ambulance at Kant's request.
No. 6: Signs (Of Worries)
In the process of taking down the shooter and saving the two women, Fadel hurt his arm and is now getting it treated at the hospital. And of course, Style is right by his side. As soon as the nurse is gone, Style starts asking Fadel worried questions. When Fadel claims that it doesn't hurt, Style is a little bit done with Fadel's constant need to pretend: "Just admit when it hurts. You don't have to be tough all the time." Style loves Fadel, Style wants to be there for Fadel through the good times and even more so through the bad times. And especially in the bad times he doesn't want to spend the entire time having to guess how his boyfriend is doing, how his boyfriend is feeling. He wants to be a safe space for Fadel to be open and vulnerable. And just to hit the message home he tells Fadel out loud to make sure Fadel really doesn't miss it or can't ignore it: "I'm worried about you, you know? I thought you were a goner." Actually, in Thai he's more vague about it, he doesn't say that he was afraid of Fadel dying specifically:
I was afraid something would happen to you.
กลัวมึงเป็นไรไปอ่ะ
[gluua - mueng - bpen rai - bpai - àh]
afraid - you - have a problem - [particle]
Also, he doesn't say he was "worried", he says he was "โคตร [kôht] worried". โคตร [kôht] is an intensifier, so basically Style is saying he is "super worried", not just "worried".
Fadel shoots him down, telling him not to overdo it. But Style isn't!!! He just watched his boyfriend go through a situation that could have potentially killed him if something had gone wrong. Not to mention, said boyfriend's brother is now lying at the very same hospital with a stab wound, because something went wrong. Style has every right to make a big deal out of it, because it is. To him it is. With worried puppy eyes he continues to say: "Can you please at least give me a sign before you do something like that again? I'm always here to help."
I want to share a more literal translation again, not because the content differs but because there's something about the original phrasing that I like:
Next time you're gonna do something, give me a sign.
ทีหลังมึงจะทำอะไรอ่ะก็ส่งสัญญาณดิ
[tii lăng - mueng - jà - tam - àrai - àh - gôh - sòng - săn-yaan - dì]
next time - you - will - do - something - [sentence link] - send - signal - [particle]
I'm always ready to help you.
กูพร้อมช่วยมึงเสมออยู่แล้ว
[guu - próm - chûuay - mueng - sà-mĕr - yùu - láew]
I - ready - help - you - always - [aux] - already
I like that the first sentence is phrased like an imperative, not a question. Of course, in this moment Style is asking Fadel to do something specific, but the question is only implied. It's not a "Can you please do this?". No, it's a "Do this!", instead. It's an order. And what I find even more interesting (which we have in the translation too) is that Style doesn't say "Please don't do this again". He isn't keeping Fadel from doing dangerous things. Fadel is allowed to do them. But Style requires a sign first. A warning. A little heads-up so that he can mentally prepare. And even more so that he can help Fadel. "I'm always ready to help", he says. He is not just here to help but he is ready to jump to his feet at a moment's notice and help Fadel no questions asked.
He waits for Fadel to say something. Fadel asks about Bison. Style informs him that Kant is with Bison and Fadel starts to get up, saying he'll stay the night with his brother and orders Style to go home. Style has been sent home by Fadel many, many times before, so he is used to this. However, back then it was before they were a couple and Fadel sending Style away always made sense, because Style was in fact annoying Fadel and Style was aware of that fact. But now it's different, because now Fadel genuinely enjoys Style's presence and Style knows that fact, too. And as always, Style won't let Fadel get rid of him so easily and so he holds Fadel back and starts questioning him about his weird behavior again: "What's with you? You were so lovey-dovey an hour ago." Then he leans closer and takes Fadel's face between his hands, asking: "Is your brain okay? Did you hit your head?" And while the words Style is saying are certainly meant to be a joke, the sentiment behind them is 10000% serious. Something is not right with Fadel, something hasn't been right with Fadel since the day before, actually and lowkey even since the love confession at the diner. Style genuinely wants to know what's going on with Fadel. That's not a joke, there is nothing funny about this, even if he is phrasing it in a light-hearted way.
But Fadel shakes him off and moves to walk away again. Now Style gets stressed. There is absolutely no way he is leaving Fadel's side right now. He holds him back and yields, offering to take Fadel to Bison. Then he runs off to grab a wheelchair and maneuvers Fadel into it. Fadel humors him and Style wheels him off.
Bison is still sleeping when they arrive at his room. Kant gives them the update on Bison's health. Fadel announces once again that he'll stay with Bison overnight. Style is against it and comes up with sensible reasons why Fadel shouldn't. Fadel's arm is hurt and Style wants him to go home and rest. Fadel's well-being is a priority for Style right now. Kant can take care of Bison for a while, it's fine. Fadel can and should take a break and recover a little bit. Finally, Fadel agrees, even if he's not very happy with the situation. But despite him yielding to Style, he does speak out a warning to Kant: "But while I'm gone, if something happens to my brother, it's your fault." The last sentence is even more direct in Thai:
You must take responsibility.
มึงต้องรับผิดชอบ
[mueng - dtông - ráp-pìt-chôp]
you - must - take responsibility, be responsible
Fadel isn't just telling him that he will be blaming Kant for Bison's disappearance, but he's saying "You will be taking responsibility for his disappearance, you will pay for it". It's a threat. And in Thai, Style actually acknowledges that Fadel's words are a threat when he stands up for Kant:
And why are you threatening Ai'Kant?
แล้วมึงจะไปขู่ไอ้กานต์ทำไม
[láew - mueng - jà - bpai - kùu - âi - Kant - tam-mai]
and - you - will - go - threaten - [prefix] - Kant - why, what for
Official subs: Don’t give Kant a hard time, dude.
Kant didn't do anything wrong.
การต์ไม่ได้ผิดอะไรเลยนะ
[Kant - mâi dâai - pìt - à-rai - loiie - ná]
Kant - not - be/do wrong - anything, something - [particle] - [na]
Official subs: None of this is his doing.
There is no reason for Fadel to threaten Kant when Kant was in no way involved with the insane man at the bowling alley that attacked Bison. Kant promises he'll take good care of Bison. Fadel just sits there wordlessly. Then, without a warning he gets up and walks out. Style calls after him: "Do you have to be so stubborn?" which in Thai is actually:
You're hurt and you're still stubborn?!
เจ็บแล้วยังดื้ออีก
[jèp - láew - yang - dêu - èek]
hurt - and - still - stubborn - (once) more
I wanted to share this because I wanted to draw attention to how Style mentions Fadel being hurt again even when Style is complaining about his behavior. Fadel's injury is still very much on Style's mind. He just wants to take care of Fadel and be there for him. And so he runs after Fadel.
No. 7: Heed My Warning
Style follows Fadel into the hallway and tries to convince him to get back into the wheelchair again and to let Style take him home. But again Fadel tries to get rid of him: "I can walk. Just go back to your garage." Something is seriously not right about Fadel's behavior. Style looks at him searchingly, trying to figure him out:
Then he steps closer to Fadel and continues his fight. "I know you can. But boyfriends are supposed to take care of you at a time like this." I just want you to know that when he says "in times like this" the literal translation is something like "when you're sick and hurt":
ตอนเจ็บตอนป่วย
[dton - jèp - dton - bpùuay]
when - hurt - when - sick
Fadel is hurt and Style is worried and he just wants to look after his boyfriend, goddammit. But instead, Style is met with a warning: "Once my brother gets better, we have some business to finish with you two."
The word Fadel uses here for "finish" in Thai is สะสาง [sà-săang] which the dictionary translates as "to clear up" or "to solve" and my native speaker friend who I asked about this word defined as:
to finish something and leave nothing unfinished
Yeah, Fadel is out for murder and he's gonna make damn well sure the job will be done properly and to the end. The sentiment reaches Style. He's confused. Where is this threat suddenly coming from? "What are you talking about? Sounds scary as hell." Fadel agrees. He repeats what he's tried to tell Style before in episode 5, except this time the warning serves as a threat, a direct attack: "You should probably be wary of me." Style looks taken aback. Fadel continues his threat: "Whatever act we've put on up until now won't be necessary anymore." Then, Fadel walks off. Style watches him go, speechless and alarmed. He gulps, not once, but twice.
The time for optimism and hope is over. Style has to face it: something is worryingly wrong with the way Fadel has been acting. Once back at his garage, he sits and thinks about Fadel's words again. Fadel knows something, but Style just can't figure out what exactly that something is. He grabs his phone and calls Kant, presumably to discuss the conversation with him and to warn him and to make sure Kant is safe. Kant doesn't pick up. Style has a really bad feeling about this.
No. 8: The Naked Truth
It's the next day and Style is back at the hospital. He doesn't even make it to Bison's room before he is stopped in his tracks. The police are here. Style stops a nurse and learns that Bison has kidnapped Kant. Style hides in the restroom to call Kant. Kant still isn't picking up. This is very very bad. But before Style can take action, someone grabs him from behind. Only seconds later, Style falls unconscious. Headcanons are out on whether Style could tell it was Fadel who attacked him by the feel of his body or not. Special shout-out also to the way Fadel sets Style down on the ground so carefully, making sure Style doesn't hit his head on the cold hard ground but lands on a soft surface instead.
When Style wakes up, he finds himself tied up at a pool wearing no clothes save for his underwear. As most people in this situation would probably do, Style starts calling for help. And what's interesting is that he doesn't really seem panicky about it when he initially starts shouting. It's more concern than fear. It's only towards the end once it starts to sink in for him that he really does seem to be completely alone that the fear sets in. Except then he hears a familiar voice: "Stop shouting and shut up. No one can hear you here."
When Style asks what Fadel is doing and why he tied him up half-naked, Style's voice sounds a little stressed but there is also something reproachful about it. Fadel demands to hear the whole truth (Or one could also say... the naked truth. With the way he stripped Style of all his clothing). "What truth?" Style asks, and now the fear that was there a moment ago right before Fadel revealed himself is gone. Instead, Style is truly angry. He ain't got no time for these games. His best friend has been taken god knows where by a professional killer who could be doing god knows what to him (after all, Style doesn't know Bison as well as he knows Fadel) and he also isn't in the mood to be sitting around tied up and naked at a pool while getting a gun waved into his face by his boyfriend. Especially when he has no idea what the fuck his boyfriend is even on about. But luckily, Fadel explains. Remember how at the end of my ep6 meta I said "Style is missing a key piece of the puzzle and even if he can tell that something is off, to Style it still looks like a happy picture. To Style it still is a happy picture"?
Style asks "What truth?" and Fadel says "That you and your friend have been fooling me and my brother. You work for the police." And there it is. The last crucial piece of the puzzle that Style had been missing all of episode 7 and since the end of episode 6 to see the full picture.
Oh. There are several realizations happening in Styles reaction here. Fadel knows. Fadel knows that Style knows. And now Style also knows that Fadel knows that Style knows. Style has been trying so hard to get Fadel to drop the truth and now the moment is finally here. No more dancing around this topic. And also, all of Fadel's recently odd behavior suddenly makes perfect sense. It's all falling into place. During the BB gun war Style already had his suspicions that there was something that Fadel knew about and then when Fadel threatened him at the hospital it just proved his suspicions in a way. And now Style finally knows what exactly it is that Fadel had found out about. And Style now also understands that Fadel found out a wrong truth, or rather an inaccurate truth that paints a wrong picture of Style. And so Style clears it up: "I don't know anything about those cops. Kant asked me to take you out so you could leave him alone and he could freely investigate." The anger that was in Style's voice before the reveal subsides when he goes into his defense and instead he is annoyed and impatient. After all, he is still naked and tied up at a pool. And his best friend is still missing from having been kidnapped by an actual assassin. Style doesn't have time for this argument right now. Fadel asks him another question: "What did he get out of it?" Style replies "I don't know. That ain't my business" and his tone is even more annoyed and also kind of exasperated now. How the fuck should he know?? Why is Fadel bothering him with this?? His only job was to make Fadel his boyfriend. That was his only role in this. He didn't have anything more to do with this.
Fadel wants to know where Kant took Bison to. Style is even more annoyed at this point. Yeah, I was trying to find my friend, too, before you got in my way and abducted me, you fucking idiot. Fadel doesn't believe it when Style says he, too, was looking for Kant. Now Fadel is getting annoyed and impatient as well. "Stop freaking lying." Style is frustrated. "I'm not lying." He informs Fadel of what the nurse said about Bison taking Kant and running away to some unknown location. Style is fed up. He really isn't in the mood for Fadel's stupid interview. He just wants it to be over. "Don't hurt me, Fadel," he continues. And what I love about this is that there is absolutely no fear in his voice when he says this, no plea for his life. Because he doesn't say it in reaction to something Fadel said or did. Sure, there's a gun to Style's head that could be triggered at any moment, but the thing is that Style has been having this argument with a gun pointed at him for a full minute now and nothing has happened so far and so Style doesn't feel like he is in any immediate danger. And Fadel doesn't even do anything to indicate that he's about to use the gun on Style or that he's about to hurt him in any other way after Style explains that it was Bison who took Kant instead of the other way around. Fadel just stands there immobile, not acting significantly more threatening than he has for the past minute, so there is no reason for Style to be afraid. And it shows in the tone of his voice that he isn't afraid. When Style says "Don't hurt me" his voice sounds annoyed and irritated and frankly, just kind of done. It's almost as if he's saying Just drop the tough act already. Because Style knows it's an act. And I just wanna share something that @secriden wrote here, and I know this paragraph is actually in relation to Fadel's uncharacteristically clingy behavior all episode and to Style's lines that are about to follow, but when I read @secriden's words they had me thinking that this also goes for the seemingly tough act that Fadel is putting up in front of Style, not just the played up sweetness:
In the midst of all the secrets and lies between them, ever since [Style] found out about Fadel's secret and decided he was going to keep pursing him anyway, Style has been chasing and chasing Fadel's sincerity. And each precious revelation that Fadel gave him -- his parents' murder, his inability to trust, his desire for something genuine from Style -- has been carefully stored away in Style's heart like nuggets of gold. Which is why Fadel's performance was doomed from the start; because Style was moved by the true things and not the lies, and Fadel's pretensions can have no effect when Style's heart now has the ability to recognise that which he has already grown to love.
Style has gotten to know Fadel so well that he can recognize when Fadel is being sincere or not, whether it's about Fadel's affections or Fadel's threats. He's gotten to know all these different sides of Fadel, has learned to read him and has learned to differentiate between what is true and what isn't, the way Fadel has learned to differentiate the sincerity and the insincerity in Style's words and actions, too. Which is another reason why Fadel is doomed as well, because after all this time he, too, can tell when Style is being sincere or not. And what Style is about to say to him is indisputably sincere.
Fadel demanded the whole truth from Style, but there is one truth Style hasn't told him yet, at least not in explicit words anyway. And so he continues: "I know I worked for the police, but that was before I knew who you are. Now that I know you, I really love you, Fadel."
And let me just share my own translations again:
Even if it's true that I was a police informant, it was before I knew the real you.
ถึงกูจะเป็นสายตำรวจก็จริงอ่ะ แต่นั่นมันก่อนที่จะรู้ตัวจริงของมึง
[tĕung - guu - jà bpen - săai dtam-rùuat - gôh - jing - àh • dtàe - nân - man - gòn têe jà - rúu - dtuua jing kŏng meung]
even if - I - be - police informant - [sentence link] - true - [particle] • but - that - it - before - know - real you
But now that I know the real you, I love you for real, Fadel.
แต่พอกูรู้ตัวจริงของมึงแล้วอ่ะ กูรักมึงจริงๆนะฟาเดล
[dtàe - poh - guu - rúu - dtuua jing kŏng meung - láew - àh • guu - rák - mueng - jing jing - ná - Fadel]
but - when - I - know - real you - already - [particle] • I - love - you - really - [na] - Fadel
You'll notice that I highlighted something there. I actually discussed the term ตัวจริง [dtuua jing] (= real self) with my native speaker friend and I even showed him the scene (bless his heart for putting up with my antics) and he said when he first heard those lines he was a little confused why it would be phrased like this, because usually in Thai they'd phrase it a little differently. We were hanging out in person and unfortunately I didn't write it down, so now I don't remember what the way my friend said it's supposed to be phrased as was, but yeah, apparently this is odd phrasing. Which is why it's even more interesting to me that in episode 5 Fadel says this:
The real me might be scarier than you think.
ตัวจริงกูอ่ะ อาจจะน่ากลัวกว่าที่มึงคิดก็ได้
[dtuua jing guu - àh • àat-jà - nâa gluua gwàa - tîi - mueng - kít - gôh dâai]
real me - [particle] • might - scarier - that - you - think - [particle]
Official subs: The real me might be scarier than you think.
The wording is basically the same (yes, Style adds the word ของ [kŏng] (= of, from) before the pronoun, but this word is optional and the meaning stays the exact same) and it just makes me wonder if Style's words were written as a deliberate call back to the conversation in episode 5. Back then Style asked Fadel to fully open up to him and told him "I promise that no matter who you are, I'll still like you". Except back then the message didn't fully reach Fadel, because the cards weren't all out in the open just yet. But now they are. Style knows who Fadel is and Fadel knows that Style knows who Fadel is. And Style has actually gotten to know even more sides of Fadel since that conversation from episode 5 took place. "Now that I know the real you, I love you for real." He loves the grumpy side that always yells at him, the badass side that takes down three grown men in a fight, the happy side that loves heavy metal music and putting on band make-up, the side that has a passion for cooking, and ultimately even the dark side that is capable of killing people without remorse, even if he has yet to witness Fadel actually murdering someone. He isn't scared of him, not even when Fadel is waving a gun at his head. Style loves all of what makes Fadel Fadel.
This, however, is the one truth Fadel does not want to hear, can't hear right now. When he yells "Shut up" at Style, it's the loudest and most aggressive tone he's had in this entire conversation so far. At the same time he also advances on Style, putting his leg up on the step and shoving the gun even closer to Style's head. The yelling and the movement comes so sudden that it actually startles Style. Fadel continues to speak out a threat: "Say you love me one more time, and you'll be lying at the bottom of this pool." He even mimics a kick. Style complains: "Hey!" Don't kick me into the pool, the fuck!? "I mean it!" Or in his actual words:
I'm telling the truth!
กูพูดความจริงเว้ย
[guu - pûut - kwaam jing - wóiie]
I - say - truth - [particle]
Style is starting to get a little stressed now. What's Fadel threatening to kick him into the pool for when Style is literally telling Fadel the truth just like Fadel demanded? He's been telling Fadel all the information he has, all that he knows, but Fadel still won't release him. Instead Fadel just keeps threatening him. Style really doesn't feel like ending up at the bottom of an empty pool, especially not when his best friend is being held captive himself god knows where. All while Style is stuck telling truths that Fadel doesn't want to believe, despite having demanded to hear them. So Style throws Fadel a little reminder:
People who are about to die speak all of the truth.
คนจะตายก็พูดความจริงกันทั้งนั้นอ่ะ
[kon - jà dtaai - gôh - pûut - kwaam jing - gan táng nán - àh]
people - about to die - [sentence link] - say - truth - all, every - [particle]
Official subs: I wouldn’t lie with a gun to my head like this.
When people are faced with death they don't typically lie. They tend to speak the whole truth. So why the fuck would Style be lying now? Having this yelling match while being tied up and naked at an abandoned pool is getting really stupid now. It also won't bring Kant and Bison back. If the truth and the power of Style's love can't bring an end to this situation then maybe Fadel's concern and love for his brother will. So Style, still in a rather irritated mood, suggests a deal: "Untie me and I'll help you look for Bison and my friend." But Bison is another vulnerable spot for Fadel, and just like before he reacts in anger, waving his gun into Style's face: "I ain't stupid anymore. I don't trust a word that comes out of your mouth." And for those of you who are curious about the literal wording:
Whatever the hell you're saying, I'm not listening to you.
มึงพูดเชี่ยอะไรกูไม่ฟังมึงหรอก
[mueng - pûut - chîia à-rai - guu - mâi - fang - mueng - ròk]
you - say - whatever the hell - I - not - listen - you - [particle]
Official subs: I don't trust a word that comes out of your mouth.
No matter what Style says, Fadel won't hear him. The previously annoyed and angered expression on Style's face falls and his eyes widen a bit. Oh shit, you're for real?
His words are his best and only weapon that Style has, a weapon that is essentially rendered powerless if Fadel refuses to listen in any way. I think this is the moment Style realizes that there is a good chance that he can't talk his way out of this after all. That he might be wrong about Fadel sparing his life. After all, Style once was also overly confident that Fadel liked him enough to not do him any harm only for Fadel to punch him in the gut and abandon him on the cold, hard ground in some random storage room. There is a good chance that Fadel will pull the trigger for real. Fadel continues to rage: "You chose the wrong man to fool, asshole."
I think this is the first time that Style is honestly afraid since the very beginning of the scene when it sank in that he was alone. Where before his "don't hurt me" was mostly annoyed, this time when he shouts "Fadel, no!" he is genuinely scared for his life. He leans away from Fadel, his eyes squinted close as he waits for the likely life-ending shot. He can't see the way Fadel's hand is shaking. The shot doesn't come. Style opens his eyes again. The screen goes black and we are left to find out later how exactly this ends.
No. 9: Hitman Teerak
Fadel did not kill Style. And Style knows for a fact that if Fadel didn't kill him back at the pool then there is no way he's killing him now. Style can afford to be cocky again. All the fear from when we left him has vanished completely and he is back to his overly confident, charmingly annoying self. And he's also wearing clothes again.
Fadel is still pointing a gun at him, but Style doesn't give a shit anymore. In fact, he is very unimpressed. When he asks "Where are you taking me?", he sounds annoyed again, if not downright bored like a child that doesn't wanna do a chore their parent gave them. By the way, the Thai version of this is even sassier:
Where are you taking me to kill me?
มึงจะพากูไปฆ่าที่ไหนเนี่ย
[mueng - jà - paa - guu - bpai - kâa - tîi năi - nîia]
you - will - bring, take - me - go - kill - where - [particle]
Fadel informs him that the place doesn't matter, because Style will die either way. Style sighs a tired sigh and closes his eyes. Fadel really is that set on killing him, apparently, huh? It's getting old. Fadel says: "But before I kill you, I have to see my brother." Style opens his eyes again and turns around to Fadel. He really is getting tired of this. "Do you know where he is?" Fadel says no, but Style needs to help find him. Then Fadel makes a vow: "Once I find him, I'm going to kill you both." Style hesitates, then decides not to fight Fadel on this. He's tired of fighting this stupid fight. If Fadel wants to be stubborn then alright, Style will yield. And so he exasperatedly agrees with Fadel: "I know I deserve to die." Then he turns a bit away from Fadel and says in a pouty voice: "Well, at least I won't die alone." Style is sulking. Fine. Kill me if you must. But at least I will die side by side with a friend and it won't be a lonely death, I guess. It's the little things in life. He looks at Fadel again. Fadel squints. "Shut up and drive." Suddenly there is impatience in Fadel's voice which was so firm and resolute the entire scene up until now. Then, Fadel goes back to threatening Style with death: "One wrong move, I'm blowing your brain out." Style is severely unimpressed. Or rather, he is impressed but certainly not in the way Fadel would want him to be impressed.
Style knows he's got Fadel now. Any death threat from now on will be utterly meaningless. Fadel won't kill him. Style goes for malicious compliance, but makes sure he makes a big sassy and kind of flirty show out of it to demonstrate just how much not scared of Fadel and his tough guy act he is. Because that's all it is, by now. An act. An act that Style will go along with, if it makes Fadel feel better. "Kruuuub, Mr. Hitman." Yes, yes, you'll kill me, I got it. "I'm scared enough as it is, no need to threaten me." You really don't need to repeat your death threats over and over, I'm sick of hearing them, uh, I mean, just look how terrified of you I am. "I know my life is in the palm of your hand." You've been pointing this gun at me for ages now and I'm still here, alive and kicking. Yes, I really, truly am at your mercy and so very scared for my life. "Why don't you just take a nap instead or something?"
The last line actually makes me laugh even more in Thai:
Why don't you take the time that you spend threatening me to take a nap instead?
มึงเอาเวลาที่มึงขู่กูอ่ะไปนอนมั้ย
[mueng - ao - weh-laa - tîi - mueng - kùu - guu - àh - bpai nawn - mái]
you - take - time - that - you - threaten - me - [particle] - go to bed - ?
Threatening me is pointless. How about you do something more productive with your time? Ain't that an idea? Style ends his "Fine, I'll fold to your wishes"-monologue in our beloved iconic line: "I'll drive you where you want me to go, my hitman-teerak." As stated before, I'm always ready to help you, my love <3
Fadel keeps a poker face and orders Style into the car. Style doesn't move, he just defiantly tilts his head and looks at Fadel like well, watcha gonna do to me if I don't?
Fadel loses his temper a little and yells at Style to get going. Style finally moves, but right before he turns he smiles as he looks at Fadel and his eyes are full of warmth and affection. He loves this man.
Halfway on the way to the car door, Style turns around again and throws Fadel another warm, amused, and very pleased smile.
He knows he's already won. Life couldn't be going better for him right now. Style gets into the car and Fadel follows. And off they go, driving into the sunset off on their little road trip to find Kant and Bison.
Once in the car, Fadel lifts his gun back up at Style's head. Style throws him a look. And we all know Style would have jumped Fadel and ripped all his clothes off right then and there if he hadn't been busy driving a car. Fadel lowers the gun again. Style keeps looking over at Fadel, which has me nervously scream look at the fucking road oh my god you're gonna die via a car crash if not by Fadel's gun. Fadel finally takes that nap that Style suggested. Style keeps driving. He is happy and content and very satisfied. Fadel may have put his walls back up, may be pushing him away and threatening him again like he did before they started dating, but that's okay. Style has annoyed his way into Fadel's life once before, he can easily do it again. Especially now that he actually knows Fadel, knows how to handle him, knows how to get through to him. And this time around the flirting is real from the start. And what's even better, what's the biggest relief of it all is that the big secret is now fully out in the open. It had been weighing Style down a lot for multiple episodes, but now he can finally talk about it. They can finally talk about it. And now Style can finally hammer it into Fadel's head for good that he isn't scared of him in any way, that he really has embraced him with his hitman identity and all. Style won't have to allude to it anymore in the future, no, he can explicitly say it. And he can show Fadel that it's worth it for Fadel to open up 100% to Style, that Style will stick by his side no matter what and that Fadel can absolutely trust him. Style will make him believe that he absolutely, undeniably, irrevocably loves him. Life is going great.
Oof, so this took me forever to write. A week and a half. But now it's finally here, the final post of this meta series. And yes, I did hit 20k words by the finale, oops. The analysis part alone is at 20.1k words. In total, this meta series is at 150k words. When I wrote that very first post about episodes 1+2 in one single sitting, pulling an all-nighter to both write, gif, and publish it I never expected it to turn into this huge project that it has become. Don't ask how much sleep I was getting while I was writing these metas. And don't ask how my studies have been going since early December (I was gonna write two exams a week from me publishing this but I haven't done any studying so far whatsoever rip). Totally worth it, though. Anyway, I don't wanna keep you on your toes any longer, so have fun <3
By the way, I apologize in advance, but the section cover pics had to go for this one. Instead I bring you.... more gifs! Yay!
Acknowledgments: To everyone who regularly liked and/or reblogged and/or commented... THANK YOU 😘 Your encouragement really kept me going over these past few weeks, even when my brain was feeling really exhausted from thinking so long and so hard about this series and especially this character. I had a blast going on this journey and I'm glad I got to share it with you. Thank you for coming on this journey with me. I love you.
Pronoun situation: As usual, just assume Fadel and Style use the rude pronouns guu/mueng with each other unless I specify otherwise. And I WILL be specifying otherwise this time hehe.
To recap: Last episode Style got to spend a lovely 24 hours of saying goodbye to Fadel before the one thing that Style has been dreading the most (safe for Fadel's death, probably) happened: Fadel got arrested and taken away from him. And there's nothing Style could do about it but watch. And now he has to live with the fact that his boyfriend will be in prison for the next five long years.
No. 1: Visitors
Kant and Style go visit their boys in prison together and it seems to be their first visit in general, considering how both couples are catching up. We don't know how long it's been since they last saw each other, but I assume it must have been more than just a couple of days, since we later learn that the burger restaurant has already been sold.
Either way, Style is now sitting in front of Fadel, asking him how prison is. Fadel says it's not that bad and Style checks in once more to make sure Fadel is really fine: "Really? You sure you're not saying that just to make me happy? I've seen some interviews, and the people who have been here said it was awful."
After all, Style knows Fadel and he knows Fadel is prone to pretending that everything is fine when really, it isn't. Style even called Fadel out on it in episode 7: "Just admit when it hurts. You don't have to be tough all the time." Back then Style also told Fadel: "I'm worried about you, you know? I was afraid something would happen to you.*"
*กลัวมึงเป็นไรไปอ่ะ
[gluua - mueng - bpen rai - bpai - àh]
afraid - you - have a problem - [particle]
Official subs: I thought you were a goner.
Now, about half a series later Fadel is finally very well aware of just how much Style worries about his well-being and, with a laugh, reassures Style once more that prison really isn't that bad. Style lets it go and tells Fadel: "I really miss you, though." And let me just share what I learned when I asked my Thai friend about the phrase ก็...อยู่ดี [gôh ... yùu dii], because I wasn't entirely sure what it meant: according to my friend it means "still" (German speakers: he translated it as "immer noch"), so the line goes more like:
But I still miss you.
แต่กูก็คิดถึงมึงอยู่ดีนะ
[dtàe - guu - gôh - kít-tĕung - mueng - yùu dii - ná]
but - I - miss - you - still - [na]
They've been separated for a while now, but Style still misses Fadel. Style hasn't stopped missing Fadel. Fadel acknowledges that and tells him "When you do, just come visit." And for those curious about the literal wording (it doesn't really change anything, but I know you guys love this <3):
If you miss me, then come visit me like this.
ถ้ามึงคิดถึงกูอ่ะ ก็มาหากูแบบนี้นะ
[tâa - mueng - kít-tĕung - guu - àh • gôh - maa hăa - guu - bàep níi - ná]
if - you - miss - me - [particle] • then - come visit - me - like this - [particle]
Style doesn't say anything. He just smiles at Fadel fondly and in love. Fadel didn't preemptively break up with him last episode and even though there is a barrier between them, Style can still go see Fadel and Fadel also wants Style to come see him. It's not ideal, but things could have been much worse, so Style is happy and also makes the best out of the situation. Just like he always does.
Fadel then asks about the garage and it's the first time we learn that Style's dad is starting to retire and that Style is starting to be busy. This will come up later in the episode again, but for now everyone is still happy. Then Fadel asks about his burger restaurant and both we, the audience, and Fadel learn that it's been sold. Fadel then says he'll find a way to buy it back once he's out of prison and once again we're handed information that will be relevant later in the episode.
Style being Style immediately announces that he'll be helping Fadel find a new place, if he can't get back the old one. And now it's Fadel's turn to smile at Style fondly and in love. Style then asks if Fadel wants anything special. But Fadel doesn't need anything. "Just seeing your face will last me a whole month." And again, the literal wording doesn't really change anything here, but if you're curious, this is what he's saying:
Just you visiting me like this makes me happy for a month.
แค่มึงมาหากูแบบเนี่ย กูก็อิ่มใจเป็นเดือนละ
[kâe - mueng - maa hăa - guu - bàep nîia • guu - gôh - ìm-jai - bpen deuuan - lá]
just - you - come visit - me - like this • I - [sentence link] - happy, pleased - for a month - [particle]
Fadel uses the word อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai] here (which I translated as "happy") and that's funny to me personally, because this word already came up when I was discussing a different sentence from episode 11 with my Thai friend. You know when Fadel and Style are in the kitchen in episode 11 and Fadel talks about how he wants to do what he loves with the person he loves? And then he says "It makes me happy". The word that was translated as "happy" in Thai is อิ่ม [ìm], which actually translates to "full". And I had my friend watch the scene and asked "What does he mean 'full', what does that mean in this context??" and my friend explained that in this context it means "happy" and mentioned the word อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai], which he also explained to mean "happy". The literal translation, though, is actually "full heart" (as in the heart is full → you're happy). And then this exact word that I learned comes up in episode 12, I love it. So yeah, Fadel is basically telling Style that he doesn't need anything, because Style visiting him in prison is enough to make his heart full/fill up his heart for a month. And from the way Fadel raises his eyebrows and smiles cheekily when he says the อิ่มใจ [ìm-jai] part, I assume it's just as cheesy in Thai as it is in English, especially judging by Style's reaction afterwards.
Style is amused, impressed, as well as touched by Fadel's cheesiness and asks: "What did they feed you in there? How come you're this sweet?*"
*ทำไมถึงหวานขนาดเนี้ย
[tam-mai tĕung - wăan - kà-nàat níia]
how come, why - sweet - to this extent
Official subs: You're way too sweet.
If you read last episode's meta you might remember how I went over the development to from โหด [hòht] (= harsh, aggressive, brutal) to หวาน [wăan] (= sweet) and I just love how this time around, the word โหด [hòht] doesn't even get mentioned anymore. They went from Style using only the word โหด [hòht] in episode 4 ("No matter how harsh you are, I'm still hooked on you." / Official subs: "It doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm still hooked."), to them making comments about and discussing Fadel being both harsh (โหด [hòht]) and sweet (หวาน [wăan]) in episodes 7, 9, and 11, and now in the finale Style only uses the word หวาน [wăan] (= sweet). It's the polar opposite of episode 4. I love it.
(By the way, I'm not gonna copy and paste all the direct quotes again, so if you wanna look at the lines and the development of "harsh vs sweet" in detail, please refer to section 7 of my ep11 meta.)
Style continues to say "If you say such sweet things, it'll only make me want to hold you and kiss you even more, you know?" and I'm just gonna share the literal wording again:
The sweeter like this you are
ยิ่งมึงหวานแบบเนี่ย
[yîng - mueng - wăan - bàep nîia]
the more - you - sweet - like this
the more I really want to embrace you and (sniff) kiss you on the cheek, you know that?
กูยิ่งอยากกอดอยากหอมมึงมากเลยรู้ป่ะ
[guu - yîng - yàak - gòht - yàak - hŏhm - mueng - mâak loiie - rúu - bpà]
I - the more - want - hug, embrace - want - (sniff) kiss - you - very much - know - ?
In the official subtitles Style says just "kiss you", but the word he uses here in Thai is หอม [hŏhm] which, from what I've picked up so far, usually refers specifically to a kiss on the cheek, especially those sniff-kisses. And that's what prompts Fadel to turn his head and offer his cheek to Style — because Style specifically asked to kiss Fadel's cheek.
Also, something about the way Style says this and the way he emphasizes and drags out the word หอม [hŏhm] kind of really reminds me of the way he emphasized and dragged out the word หวาน [wăan] (= sweet) when he shouted "My meat is sweet, I tell you!" in episode 3, and watching these two lines back-to-back actually shows the development so beautifully:
In episode 3, Style is so very loud and he doesn't mean what he is saying at all, he isn't taking his words seriously whatsoever. His words are a performance and the world (or rather the market, in this case) is his audience. In episode 11, his words are still a performance, but now it's a private show for Fadel and Fadel alone. Fadel is the sole member of his audience and what Style is saying isn't meant for anyone else but Fadel. Style is serious about it now and he really means it. In episode 12, Style is still loud in his personality, but compared to episode 3 his demeanor is so much calmer and he is also much more grounded.
The difference is also in Fadel's reaction: in episode 3 when Style isn't taking what he's saying and doing seriously whatsoever, Fadel doesn't have time for him. He rolls his eyes and just leaves him standing there. In episode 12, when Style means every single thing he says and does, Fadel actually leans closer and then presents his cheek to Style, going along with Style's antics instead of blocking or ditching him. Style blows a cheek at Fadel and we leave them as they continue to make heart-eyes at each other.
No. 2: This Is Torture
Style puts on his cheerful face when he's in front of Fadel, and while I don't think any of the above was a mask, because I think he is definitely genuinely happy to talk to Fadel, there is still some frustration that Style only lets out as soon as he's away from Fadel, similar to how he didn't fully cry until Fadel was completely gone at the end of last episode. "Kant, I can't do this," Style complains and let me just share the real vibe of his sentence:
Ai'Kant, I can't fucking do this anymore.
ไอ้กานต์ กูแม่งไม่ไหวแล้วว่ะ
[âi Kant • guu - mâeng - mâi - wăi - láew - wâ]
Ai'Kant • I - [rude interjection] - not - able to, can - anymore - [rude particle]
I usually don't bother to point out sanitized subtitles, but here I thought it was appropriate, because first of all, Style using curse words and rude language really underlines just how frustrated he really is about this from his first line of the scene on and second of all, to me with the cursing it comes across as even more dramatic and I mean, the drama is what we've all come to love about Style, isn't it? Kant agrees and once again Style is much more dramatic in the original wording than he is in the official translation:
What's torturous is going in and being able to chat only for a few minutes.
ที่มันทรมานอ่ะ คือเข้าไปคุยได้ไม่กี่นาทีไง
[tîi - man - tor-rá-maan - àh • keu - kâo bpai - kui - dâai - mâi gìi -naa-tii - ngai]
that - it - torture, be tortured - [particle] • is - enter, get in - talk, chat - be able to, can - not many - minute(s) - [particle]
Official subs: The worst part is only getting a few minutes to talk to him.
Yeah. Style explicitly calls it torture that he can only see Fadel's face but can't touch him. He continues with the drama:
We're close, but so damn far away.
ใกล้แต่ไกลฉิบหายเลยมึง
[glâi - dtàe - glai - chìp-hăai - loiie - mueng]
close - but - far - [impolite intensifier] - [particle for emphasis] - you
Official subs: We're so close but it feels so far.
Style is frustrated, almost downright angry even. Kant agrees again and when Style then asks "Is there no way we could hold them in our arms again?" There's a hint of desperation and impatience now mixed in with the frustration. Kant informs Style that there's a special visiting day, but it's only once a year. And here we have the biggest clue as to just how unhappy Style really is with the situation. Style, who usually stays optimistic and tries to find the bright side in things, is very dissatisfied with those news. Even positive Style can't see how the special visiting day is a good thing. Because once a year just really isn't enough, no matter how he looks at it. Kant throws him a glance. Style is sitting in the passenger's seat, head downcast, looking very dispirited and crestfallen.
Kant thinks some thoughts for a moment. Then he announces "I think I have an idea that will give us more than just a hug." Style lifts his head again. He's listening.
No. 3: Prison Break
For Kant's idea to work they need Captain Christ's help and they go meet him in a parking lot. They let Captain Christ know they wanna get into jail to see their boyfriends and Captain Christ actually asks the reasonable question of "Can't you just visit them?" No. They cannot. Because looking at them through a barrier is simply just not enough. Style starts listing all the things he wants to do to Fadel and he's clearly thought about this a lot. He gets lost in his own world a little the longer he goes on, clearly seeing everything he's describing in front of his mental eye, clearly seeing Fadel himself in front of his mental eye. And in a parallel to both episode 4 and episode 11, Style trails off at the end, leaving it up to the audience to imagine just what exact kind of things Style wants to do to/with Fadel (fanfiction, anyone?). Style pulls himself out of his fantasy and back into the real world, sighing and shaking his head in a way that reads to me like frustration about the fact that he can't be doing all of that. Kind of like Come on, man, get it together... The circumstances won't let you have your fantasies anyway. When the shot changes to Captain Christ, we can see that Style is even looking towards the ground. We can't see his face, but just from his dissatisfied expression just now we could interpret his hanging head as disappointment or sadness or both about not being able to do all the things he just talked about.
Captain Christ says that Style is crazy in love and from the way that Captain raises his eyebrows and the way the corners of his mouth twitch into a bit of a smirk when he's done speaking has me think Captain Christ was saying it to tease Style, but I think the teasing passes right by Style, because he makes a skeptical face, kind of like a bit of an annoyed and maybe slightly defensive What?? or maybe even a bit of an And what's wrong with that?
Captain Christ discards his cigarette and starts asking questions about just how exactly Kant and Style plan to get into prison, pointing out that he had just helped Kant wipe his slate clean. Kant explains that they aren't planning on getting themselves arrested and asks if Captain Christ knows anyone inside. Captain Christ says he does, then asks: "Don't tell me you want me to help you reenact Prison Break?"
Special shout-out to Style's reaction, because it's definitely in my top 5 moments of the episode, if not my absolute favorite highlight of the episode:
His face makes me laugh and giggle so much, it just really cracks me up. It's like he's thinking to himself Oh I sure wouldn't mind a little prison break... or maybe even Oh this is totally not the exact thing I've been fantasizing about. Let's be real, this would be Style's ideal scenario. But unlucky for Style, that's not the plan that Kant has had in mind.
No. 4: Vocational Training
Kant's idea was to go do some kind of volunteer work (or something along those lines) at the prison. Style, of course, teaches fixing cars, and it's interesting that Fadel actually shows up for that, because without knowing Style was gonna be the one teaching, Fadel could have easily chosen a different activity instead, since we never actually saw him be interested in fixing cars. Maybe Fadel heard about it and it made him think of Style and decided to go check it out in honor of him or to feel closer to him. Either way, Fadel actually shows up to Style's class and from the way Style's jaw drops a little bit I wonder if this comes as a surprise to Style, since it's not like Style specifically told Fadel he was gonna come in.
Pronoun change! You might have noticed yourself, but the very first thing Style says to Fadel is khun. Style is pretending not to know Fadel. Style continues to speak using no pronouns at all and when Fadel answers, he goes along with Style's pronoun change, using phom to refer to himself. The two of them continue to use the polite phom/khun for the rest of this specific conversation.
Fadel says he doesn't know anything about fixing cars and Style replies it's fine, because Fadel can learn about it. Then he says "If you want to, that is." The expression that Style uses here in Thai is มีใจ [mii jai] which is made up of มี [mii] = "to have" and ใจ [jai] = "heart, mind", so literally it translates to "have (a/the) heart". My friend explained that in this context this phrase means "to have the intention to do something". The funny thing is, though, that I asked my friend about this specific phrase a couple of episodes ago, because Style actually uses it when they're standing by the broken down car in episode 8 when he teases Fadel "Either a hitman like you still have his humanity, or you’re in love with me." In other words, the phrase มีใจ [mii jai] can also mean "to be in love" and now I'm wondering if this specific word choice with this double meaning was very intentional for this episode 12 scene. Especially because Fadel then huffs and smiles a little.
Style walks up to Fadel and tells him "I'll show you every nook and cranny of a car. You'll definitely find some use for what you learn from me. But if you still can't fix cars after that, I'll fix them for you," still using polite pronouns and particles to address Fadel, and somehow this whole thing just really reminds me of their little roleplay at the garage back in episode 5. The way Fadel's eyebrows shoot up and he huffs in amusement really raises the question if Fadel is wondering what kind of payment Style will take for fixing Fadel's car. At the same time, Style offering to fix Fadel's car also works as a callback to the circumstances in which they first met: Style has fixed Fadel's car once before, maybe even twice, if we assume that Style fixed the jeep again between episode 8 and episode 9 when it broke down.
No. 5: A Man Has Wants, A Man Has Needs
At the end of class, Fadel is working on the car and Style uses the chance with everyone else distracted for a little private chat with Fadel. And now that they don't have an audience listening in and no appearances to keep up, they're both back to the rude pronouns guu/mueng. Fadel likely sort of already expected that Style would find a way to get to him, because he says he had thought Style would do something illegal to get inside the prison and I think the majority of the fandom thought similarly. I personally realized Kant and Style would be working in prison when I went to rewatch the episode promo like two or so days before the episode and realized that the blue clothes that Fadel was wearing in the shots where Style kissed him on the cheek and threw him against the wall looked like the prison uniform while Style was in normal clothes. At first I thought the shot of the cheek kiss by the car was when Fadel was out of prison again and that it was set in Style's garage, but once it hit me that they were clearly fixing a car when Fadel was in a prison uniform while Style wasn't, that's when I realized that Style was likely there as a volunteer worker (or something along those lines) rather than a prisoner. Unfortunately, I was too busy trying to get my ep11 meta done, so I didn't make a post about my discovery which means I don't have receipts and this brag is completely worthless. Ah, well. At least my ep11 meta is done.
Style says "This is way better" and steps closer to Fadel, reaching out his arm right into Fadel's personal space, seeking proximity before he even says it out loud or touches Fadel at all. Fadel responds to it by immediately moving his own arm closer to Style's hand and while I know that Joong most likely did this as part of their "choreography" so that Dunk would have an easier time grabbing his arm for when Style talks about touching Fadel, the thing is if we're looking at it from the character's perspective, well, Joong might have known Dunk was gonna grab his arm, but Fadel didn't know Style was gonna grab him and so I love this small interaction anyway. Style reaches into Fadel's personal space with his hand and Fadel immediately moves his own hand closer to Style.
And it's only then that Style says: "I get to be close to you and to touch you just like I wanted to." Then Style sneaks a kiss on Fadel's cheek, just like he said he wanted to do in his first scene of the episode. Fadel gets as stressed about it as I did when I watched the episode for the first time. I mean come on, Style, there are still people around!! I swear to god, the amount of times I've had to remind myself during the prison part that this was a romcom and that this was the final episode of the show and that nothing too bad was gonna happen now...
Fadel scolds Style, but Style doesn't care. He points out: "Why would I come here if I don't get to do anything with you at all?" The whole point of finding a way to get inside the prison was to be able to touch Fadel, to kiss him, to hold him, just like Style was so very desperately wishing he could do in the very beginning of the episode. And he's not gonna pass up that chance, especially when it's been a while since he actually got to feel Fadel's skin.
Fadel sees the guard walk around and tells Style "I can't help you." Then Fadel continues to be grumpy, scolding Style "You said you'd be patient, and you're already losing it?" Style is so used to Fadel's grumpy personality by now that he isn't fazed in the slightest. He comments it with a very quick huff to the side, then goes "A guy has wants and needs, you know?" He smiles a little when the words are out of his mouth and observes Fadel's reaction, eyes fixed on him attentively. Fadel lifts his head, looking a little done, but ends up breaking anyway after staring at Style for a moment. Fadel laughs and turns his head away to hide it, then looks at Style one more time, before directing his attention back to the car. Style watches him with a fond smile and affectionately shakes his head as if to say That's so you of you to first be grumpy, only to fall for my charm in the end anyway, you silly goose. As if I don't know you by now, my love.
After that, Style goes back into teacher mode in order to officially end the class. And I just love how the wide-shot reveals that now both Style and Fadel have their hands in each other's personal space close to the other person's body, their arms criss-crossed. And I also love how Style leans right into Fadel, touching him even more when he goes to address the whole class.
Good job at pretending not to know each other, boys. Really. Very inconspicuous.
Fadel does move away from Style a moment later while Style continues his "see you next week" speech. But we can still see just how much Style missed touching Fadel, because he seeks out proximity again by tapping Fadel, casually touching him again immediately after he is done ending the class.
Then his eyes also find Fadel's face again, who looks at him very amused. And now that class is over, Style can finally do what he's really here for.
No. 6: Loyal to You
When we cut back to them, they've found a hidden corner and Style is shoving Fadel against a wall, kissing him with great urgency. Once they break apart, Style tells Fadel "I've been dying to do that since the moment I saw you", smiling a very satisfied smile. Fun fact, this time around Style is actually less dramatic in the original wording:
I've been wanting to do this since I saw your face.
กูอยากทำแบบนี้ตั้งแต่เห็นหน้ามึงอ่ะ
[guu - yàak - tam - bàep níi - dtâng-dtàe - hĕn - nâa mueng - àh]
I - want - do - like this - since - see - your face - [particle]
Fadel laughs and says "You're crazy", to which Style replies "Love will make people do crazy things" and let me just share the original wording for a second:
Love makes us do something crazy like this.
ความรักอ่ะ ทำให้คนเราทำอะไรบ้าๆ แบบนี้แหละ
[kwaam rák - àh • tam hâi - kon rao - tam - à-rai - bâa bâa - bàep níi - làe]
love - [particle] • make that, cause - people, we - do - something - crazy - like this - [particle]
Official subs: Love will make people do crazy things.
The reason why I'm sharing this isn't, because the translation is inaccurate in any way, but rather because this line reminded me of another line Style says in episode 7 and I just want to point out the similarity in the original wording that isn't as clean in the official translation:
Love makes us do something stupid.
ความรักมันทำให้คนเราทำอะไรโง่ๆ นะ
[kwaam rák - man - tam hâi - kon rao - tam - à-rai - ngôh ngôh - ná]
love - it - make that, cause - people, we - do - something - stupid - [particle]
Official subs: Love sure makes you do something stupid.
It greatly amuses me that Style went from "Love makes us do stupid things" to "Love makes us do crazy things". Style, lover of love, willing to do stupid and crazy things for the sake of love. He is stupid and crazy enough to even find a way to get into prison for the sole purpose of making out with his boyfriend, because who can wait five whole years, amirite? Style immediately proves his point by continuing to kiss Fadel. But Fadel doesn't let Style kiss him for long, because he has something to say: "Save your sweet words." Fun fact, he uses the word นำเน่า [nam nâo] here, which my friend explained to mean "soapy" (as in soap opera like). I think Fadel just called Style "dramatic" without actually calling him dramatic, and I think that might also be the reason why Style steps back with a sigh, looking kind of disappointed and annoyed, before answering Fadel's question of "How did you get in here?"
We know being called dramatic has been a touchy subject for Style before and so has been being pushed away. I think Style had a moment of Does he really not appreciate that I'm here now? Does he not appreciate my efforts? But Style doesn't comment on it, doesn't start an argument, and instead answers Fadel's question. He explains that he'll be teaching at prison every week now thanks to Kant's connections and then says:
I'll get to come and see you every week.
จะได้มาเจอมึงทุกอาทิตย์เลย
[jà - dâai - maa - jer - mueng - túk - ah-tít - loiie]
will - get to - come - see, meet - you - every - week - [particle]
Official subs: So I'll see you every week.
Although when Style says this, it's not as joyful as you might expect. There is determination in Style's voice, because he is determined to do this, but there is also a bit of a challenging edge to it and I think it comes from his sudden worry that Fadel might not want him here after all. It's a challenge in the sense of Well, are you happy about me being here once a week from now on or not? He keeps his eyes fixed on Fadel and when Fadel then huffs and smiles almost in disbelief, the look on Style's face softens a little bit before he leans in to kiss Fadel again.
But once more, Fadel isn't letting Style kiss him for long, before he speaks again: "You know… You don't have to do this." Style goes still as he waits for Fadel to elaborate. And Fadel does:
It's fine if you visit me once a month or once every three months.
มาหากูเดือนละครั้งหรือสามเดือนครั้งก็ได้
[maa hăa - guu - deuuan lá kráng - rĕu - săam deuuan kráng - gôh dâai]
(come) visit - me - once a month - or - once every three months - it's fine
Official subs: I don't mind seeing you once a month or once every three months.
Ah. There it is. Fadel is pushing him away again. Or so Style thinks. Of course Fadel is saying this to be considerate of Style's time and schedule (after all, Style did tell him that things at the garage were getting busy), not wanting Style to get tired and exhausted in the process, but what Style hears is I don't want to see you that often. And now Style is seriously done.
He steps back, tilting his face in a Really, now?? way, presses his lips together unhappily, then raises his eyebrows and firmly tells Fadel: "I did everything I could to be with you, you know?" Style's next question is another challenge to Fadel:
Are you not moved?
ไม่ซึ้งบ้างหรอ
[mâi - séung - bâang - rŏr]
not - touched, moved - any - ?
Official subs: You don't appreciate that?
Fadel breathes out loudly and tilts his head like Oh, come on, it's not like that. But Style is really annoyed now and continues to say: "Or did you already find someone here? I'd expect it of a popular guy like you." You heard him use the anglicism "hot" here, right? Because the second sentence goes more like:
You're hot anyway.
ฮอตอยู่แล้วนี่มึงอ่ะ
[hot - yùu - láew - nîi - mueng - àh]
hot - be - already - [interjection] - you - [particle]
A little extra info from my Thai friend: according to him in Thai this word doesn't necessarily refer to someone's appearance and to physical attraction, but rather it is used to express someone has a quality or skill that is desirable.
Now I think Style actually being jealous for real can be a valid interpretation of him asking Fadel if he found someone new in prison, but to be honest, personally I don't really think so, or rather I think real jealousy is the case only on a surface level. Because Style knows Fadel, Style knows that Fadel doesn't easily open up to others. Style knows first hand how much work, effort, and persistence it takes to get to Fadel's heart. Style also knows Fadel would absolutely kill him if Style ever cheated on him and so I don't think Style would expect Fadel to be a hypocrite and go cheat on Style just like that himself. So I don't think Style actually expects Fadel to have found himself a new boyfriend in prison for real. No, in my opinion this is about something else deep down. I think Style is actually hurt that Fadel is (seemingly) pushing him away again, the way Fadel has done before so often. And Style has felt hurt from that before, and he's argued with Fadel about that before on multiple occasions (most recently only last episode during their last supper, and in episode 10 the scene where Style demands to help with the mission as well as the scene where Fadel cries in Style's lap). And I think playing it over apparent jealousy is Style's way of letting Fadel know that he's sulking about this, without starting a full-blown argument. Because at this point Fadel should know better than to keep pushing Style away, especially when Style is putting in so much effort in their relationship again. And part of me also wonders if Style was trying to avoid being called "dramatic" again (remember: touchy subject) if he had outright complained about being pushed away, while jealousy could maybe be taken as a "more valid" or more expected or acceptable reason to be mad.
Style starts to walk off, upset, because fine, if Fadel doesn't want him here then he'll leave him alone. But Fadel catches his arm. Style is sulking and it's Fadel's job now to make up with him. And Fadel does: "No matter where I am, you're the only one for me." Fadel holds him back, pulls him back in, doesn't simply just let Style go. And then promises his loyalty to Style. Something that Style has promised to Fadel many, many times. Fadel's efforts to get Style to stay placate Style again. This is all Style wants: for Fadel to show that he, too, wishes for Style to be in his life and be willing to work for it, the same way Style constantly shows he wishes for Fadel to be and actively works on Fadel being by his side. Style's face softens again, he smiles a little and lets Fadel kiss him.
They go back to making out against the wall. Well. That is, until the prison guard walks in on them. They quickly jump apart and Style rambles some orders about cleaning up, before walking off. And I love that Style can't help but touch Fadel one last time, before he leaves. He really has gone too long without touching Fadel and has to make up for it now.
Language fun fact: Technically, a pronoun switch from guu/mueng to phom/khun isn't actually happening here, because Style actually uses no pronouns at all when he talks to Fadel in front of the guard! Fadel does drop one polite "krub", but that's about it. There are no pronouns this time, but I think it's safe to assume they would have switched to phom/khun again in front of the guard, if the conversation had gone on.
Side Quest: Year 2 or Literal Horny Jail
Alright, sooo, there isn't that much interesting happening in year 2, or rather not interesting enough that I really wanna get into detail and turn this into its own section, but of course I couldn't leave it entirely unaddressed. So a side quest, it is. The brothers' second year in prison turns out to be a happy one, with both couples really obsessed with each other as if they'd only just started dating, sneaking kisses and make-out sessions whenever they can. Somehow, they're never found out. Everyone is happy and pleased, and this is especially significant for Fadel and Style. They're happy and in love and still very much into each other. We don't actually get any scenes of Fadel and Style together during year 3, but I think it's safe to assume that things are going this well throughout the third year, too. Well, until things aren't. Until suddenly we get dropped down to the ground from the high that we had just been taken up to.
No. 7: Busy Bee
Year 4 comes around and with it all the happiness gets thrown right out the window. Because Style, without a warning, suddenly doesn't show up to class one day and instead waits for Fadel in the visiting room. When Fadel walks in, Style addresses him happily, but his happiness is not as bright as we know it can be, it's a bit subdued. Style asks why Fadel took so long and I think it explains why Style doesn't sound as cheerful as usual: I think while Style was waiting, for a moment he got really worried that Fadel wouldn't come to see him.
By the way, yes, Style did phrase it as a question in the original wording:
Why were you so slow?
ทำไมช้าจังเลย
[tam-mai - cháa - jang loiie]
why - slow, late - so much, very much
Official subs: Took you forever.
Fadel explains he went to the garage first, but Style wasn't there. Style apologizes for it, then explains he's been very busy. Style had already mentioned at the beginning of the episode that he was busier compared to before, and now he's even more busy than that. So busy that he might not be able to come in and teach as often anymore. He tells Fadel just that and looks at him with sad, apologetic puppy eyes.
Fadel asks why that is and when Style answers, he puts on a very enthusiastic voice in an attempt to make the situation sound as positive as possible. Style explains that he's in charge of the garage now that his dad is retired and updates Fadel on how he's thinking of expanding the business and how he has a lot of projects going on that allowed him to meet more people in the industry. Style's little mechanic world is getting bigger for him, isn't that exciting? Style just wants to share the joy of his good news with Fadel.
Fadel nods a bit unenthusiastically and says "That's good. It's alright. I understand" and I think Style can tell that in reality Fadel is upset just as much as the audience can, even if it might not immediately seem like he can tell:
Style continues to smile, but it's like he's putting down the enthusiasm that he's just put on, and he looks at Fadel. Style is always looking at Fadel. And Style has become an expert at reading Fadel. There is no way Fadel's disappointment passed right by Style, even if his expression stays positive and affectionate and full of love. Style doesn't say anything and I think he's actually waiting to see if Fadel will fall back into his old patterns and usual downward spirals again. And I think Style keeps his expression joyful and warm in order to give Fadel as little reason as possible to think that Style doesn't care about him anymore. But the trauma sits deep within Fadel, leading him to say: "You don't have to come here to teach, you know?"
This is the exact reaction that Style was expecting of Fadel and we can tell, because Style is immediately ready to calm Fadel's anxiety without missing a beat: "Don't worry. I'll make time for it." It's really not that big of a deal. And in case it is a big deal, Style has already thought of a solution, a compromise: "But if I can't, I'll just come visit you instead." Because let's be real, Style would miss Fadel just as much and wouldn't want to miss out on seeing Fadel's face. "Is that okay?" he asks. Do we have a deal? Fadel stares at Style for a second, then nods awkwardly, but looks very unconvinced and doesn't say anything. Style raises his eyebrows a little, then leans back, keeping his eyes fixed on Fadel.
As I said above, I think Style could already tell Fadel was upset a few lines earlier, but I think this is the moment where he realizes that Fadel is more upset than Style had initially thought and that Fadel isn't gonna be easy to cheer up about this. It really does seem to be a big deal to Fadel. So much so, that Style now chooses to address it after all: "What's wrong? Are you mad at me?" And I adore how Style continues to interact with Fadel in such a loving, kind way and continues to smile at him warmly.
Style isn't attacking Fadel when he asks Fadel if he's mad, instead he's reaching out to him kindly and in a way that makes it very clear that Style is asking out of concern for Fadel's well-being and not because he's trying to start an argument. In fact, Style is very much trying to not start an argument right now. Fadel says he isn't mad at Style. "I understand you have to live your life. I'm in here so there's nothing I can do but wait." And that's when Style's smile finally falls completely.
I think part of him is concerned for Fadel and his mental state, and part of him is also worried where this might be going. I think the underlying question here is Are you... about to preemptively push me away again, because you're falling into a downward spiral again?
Fadel continues. "Style, I think..." Style's face is very serious now as he listens to Fadel to find out where this is headed. Fadel says "Our timing just wasn't right at all" or word for word:
We met at the wrong place at the wrong time.
เราเจอกันผิดที่ผิดเวลาไปหน่อยว่ะ
[rao - jer gan - pìt - tîi - pìt - weh-lah - bpai nòi - wâ]
we - meet each other - wrong - place - wrong - time - too little - [particle]
Style is quiet for a moment and I think now there is also a hint of fear added to the seriousness in his expression as well as confusion.
I think Style does very much understand that Fadel really is in the process of pushing him away again, but I think he's confused about what exactly Fadel means by "wrong place, wrong time". Style needs to know what exactly Fadel is getting at in order to properly fight against Fadel's downward spiral and so he asks. Fadel explains and Style listens intently. "I think you should focus on your future." Style is wasting many hours just to come to see Fadel at the prison since it's so far away. Style doesn't earn any money working at the prison. Style is better off getting paid fixing some expensive cars. "You shouldn't waste your time on me." Fadel is once again simply just presuming Style's perspective on things without actually asking Style about it. But at least Style now has a lead, something specific he can counter. And Style does, and just like before he talks to Fadel in a very kind, warm way: "It's not a waste of time. You're my boyfriend. I will always make time for you. Work is important, but you're also important to me." Style is also back to a warm, happy face now, the seriousness from a moment ago hidden completely.
He then also speaks a little reminder to Fadel that Fadel's behavior right now isn't entirely fair to Style either: "Before you went to jail, you told me to focus on my own life. Now that I'm doing exactly that, you are sulking?" And again, this isn't supposed to be an attack. When Style says this, he is more serious than he was mere seconds before, but Style's voice is still rather soft, and while his words come with a certain urgency, there are no sharp edges to his tone. Style stays patient with Fadel, clearly trying to talk this issue out without getting into a full-blown argument.
By the way, the word that Style uses here that was translated as "sulk" is งอน [ngon]. Avid watchers of Thai dramas might have come across this word before (especially those who also follow actors outside their series). The dictionary thai2english translates it as "sulk" and "pout", and I knew it meant something like this, but I still went ahead and asked my Thai friend about it, in case he had something interesting to say about it. And he did, and I'd just like to share it here, because I think some of you will love to read about it, too. According to my friend งอน [ngon] is when you are "upset and disappointed, because the other person should know better, but it's not significant enough to be properly angry". My friend also said that it's a whole thing: for example when you are งอน [ngon] you can't actually admit to it, and it's the other person's job to come to you and make up with you (this step is called ง้อ [ngóh]).
So Style asks if Fadel is งอน [ngon] (and I hit pause after Style's sentence to have my friend explain this word, before continuing the scene) and Fadel says that no, he is not งอน [ngon] (after which my friend exclaimed: "See!! Exactly!! He's denying it!! Like I said!!"), then tells Style "Just do what you want. Don't take me into account." Fadel gets up to walk away and Style calls out for him to wait. But Fadel is done with the conversation. "I have work in the kitchen. Don't want these prisoners to starve." With these words, Fadel leaves Style sitting there, alone, looking unhappy.
No. 8: Be Patient, My Son
Next, we find ourselves in Style's garage and we are shown that Style is indeed working hard, earning money. Even his dad comments on it: "You always only fixed a few cars a month. What's going on?" Style's dad then asks if Style is in need of money and Style says he just wants to save it. And that's when we, the audience, slowly start to realize that Style is likely trying to buy back the restaurant. But Style's dad doesn't know this, so he starts asking whether Style is intending to buy a new car, and when Style says no, he's not, his dad makes a guess for a "love nest" (เรือนหอ [reuuan hŏh]). I didn't ask my friend about the term เรือนหอ [reuuan hŏh], but according to thai2english and sanook.com it refers to a home for newlyweds which, uh, is quite different from "a place (such as an apartment) used for amorous and often illicit rendezvous", which Merriam-Webster defines love nest as. Style's dad asks if Style is getting married, and that's the fifth reference to a FadelStyle marriage. Here's a recap, in case you forgot:
Ep6: "wear make-up with me" vs. "will you marry me" (explanation here)
Ep7: proposal prank
Ep8: Fadel and Style taking part in an actual wedding
Ep11: Style's dad outright telling Fadel and Style to get married
Ep.12: Style's dad asking his son about marriage again
I can't believe this show did not end with them actually getting married, or at the very least engaged. It's gotta be my biggest beef with the show, not gonna lie.
Anyway, so Style informs his dad that he is not, in fact, getting married and goes on to tease his dad, asking if his dad doesn't like seeing his son working hard. The comment makes his dad laugh, although he's already got another question on his mind: "Where's Fadel been, though?" I do think it's kinda funny how this question comes up only after more than three years. Did Style's dad really never wonder about it? Or has Style always casually mentioned Fadel over the years and his dad just assumed that Fadel only happened to come over when Style's dad happened not to be there for it? Why did it take more than three years for this question to come up?
Either way, Style quickly comes up with the excuse that Fadel is in culinary school abroad. And from the way Style says it, it seems like Style is making up this excuse on the spot, which again has me wonder... what exactly has Style been telling his dad the past 3+ years?
Style says that Fadel will be back, which is the truth this time, and Style's dad is happy to hear that, because he's actually rooting for Fadel. We love to hear it. Then Style's dad tells him "You need a lot of trust when it comes to long distance relationships. Be patient, son" and I'm so glad we got this very scene, following the last one. I think this is something Style kinda needed to hear at this point. Because Fadel had just walked out on him, clearly upset, and now Style's relationship is in trouble. And I adore that Style gets told some comforting words, even if his dad actually has no idea what's really going on. "You need trust," his dad tells him, "be patient." And Style thinks about it.
These words hit Style, they mean something to Style. He goes very quiet while his dad continues talking. "You'll be back together soon." Style's dad puts a comforting hand on Style's shoulder and Style's reaction is one I find very difficult to describe and put into words (see gif below). It's like, on the one hand his own optimistic and hopeful nature agrees with his dad, but at the same time he also doesn't quite believe his dad, as if he's thinking Well, whether we'll be back together or not depends entirely on how stubborn Fadel is and if he stops being mad at me. I think part of Style lowkey fears that Fadel might not be willing to make up with him again. Style looks at his dad who then gives him an encouraging nod and Style returns a small smile and a little nod himself.
Style's dad walks away and Style's smile slowly falls as he gets lost in thought and looks down at the money in his hands.
Style is most definitely thinking about the state of his relationship with Fadel and his dad's encouraging words right now. And we, the audience, are now all going Oh, he is SO buying back the restaurant for Fadel!! Honestly, it's my own personal headcanon that Style started working out a plan to buy it the moment he got back from that very first visit where Fadel was like "I'm gonna buy back the restaurant."
No. 9: Making Up
We don't know how long it's been since Fadel and Style talked last, but I assume it's been a while since last time we checked Style said he might not be able to come as often and now we learn from Bison that Style is at the prison twice a week these days. Personally I assume it's been at least a month if not more. I feel like 3 weeks should be a long enough time for "twice a week" to have become an established pattern that Bison can point out, plus at least one or the other week for Style to work on his projects before that. There's also the chance that it's been even longer than that. Either way, it's been quite a while for sure. After all this time, Fadel is still งอน [ngon] at Style and as my friend explained to me, it's Style's responsibility to make up with him. And so Style does. Surely also boosted by his dad's encouraging words, Style takes the first step towards Fadel by having Bison deliver a small origami bouquet. We know for a fact that Style was not the one who made the bouquet, because Bison does explicitly say the bouquet came "from someone who takes origami training" and I don't think it was a lie, because I think Style would most certainly have bragged about his origami skills if he'd made it himself. However, I do think the little Heart Burger flag is something that Style did make himself. And it's the first hint of confirmation that we get that Style is indeed trying to buy back the restaurant. Fadel doesn't make the connection, though. The little gift still touches him enough to finally seek out Style again instead of actively avoiding him.
Style is wiping the board when Fadel finds him. We don't know if Style is about to start a class and is wiping the board in preparation so that he would have space to write on once the prisoners come in or if he just ended a class and now he's doing some clean-up for next time. My personal headcanon is that we're seeing Style after class actually. It's been established that the prisoners help putting stuff back once class is over and with the way Style is completely by himself when the scene starts it's my headcanon that Style is being slow and hanging back on purpose, because he is desperately hoping Fadel would come to see him, even if Style isn't really expecting it. And the reason why I believe Style thinks Fadel won't show up despite the gift is because Style isn't cheerful the way he usually is when he's purposefully staying optimistic (like he was for example when he's talking to Kant about the cat in front of the abandoned diner in episode 6, or in episode 7 when there is clearly something off about the assassin brothers and Kant points it out and Style insists that Kant is overthinking it or in episode 9 when he makes wishes for his dead body and so on). No, Style looks very serious when the camera first cuts to his face.
He does smile a little once it's fully sunk in that Fadel is really here, standing in front of him, and only then does he put on a bit of a cheerful, teasing voice when he tells Fadel: "Thought you'd never see me again." Didn't I say Style was a little afraid that Fadel might not be willing to make up again? Fadel bluntly asks what Style is here for and Style drops the positive voice. Instead, now his voice sounds more concerned and regretful when he asks "What are you mad (งอน [ngon]) at me about?" As per the etiquette that my friend explained, Fadel immediately denies that he's mad (งอน [ngon]). But then he finally does tell Style what the problem is: "I told you I don't like expectations because I don't want to be disappointed." (Btw, Fadel did indeed say this pretty much word for word when he was crying on those steps in episode 10.) Style then says "But I didn't do anything to disappoint you."
I actually had a question about this line to my friend as well: for the English translation the sentence was phrased in past tense and to me that sounds like Style is talking about something specific maybe back around that time when he failed to show up to teach, an incident clearly set in the past. The thing is, though, that Thai doesn't actually have verb tenses. There are words you can add to a sentence that will clarify whether a statement is about the past or the future, but the verb itself doesn't change and sometimes things can get a little muddy. This is one such case. And I was confused, because especially in retrospective where we know Style is actually in the middle of trying to get back the restaurant (he also states later in the scene that he is in the middle of doing something that he isn't sure is gonna work yet, meaning the restaurant has not yet been acquired at this point) I thought Style's statement could maybe also be taken as What I'm doing and working on right now isn't something that is wronging you, since Style trying to buy back the restaurant is an on-going project that is happening off-screen at the very same time, it's not a one time thing that happened back when Fadel first got mad at Style. No, it's still happening at this very moment. I discussed this with my friend who thought about it for a moment and then decided that the present perfect tense would probably be the best solution here, since it implies that it's about something that started in the past and is still on-going (or still has an effect) in the present.
So Fadel says he doesn't want to be disappointed and Style tells him "But I haven't done anything to disappoint you." Because what Style has been doing will be the opposite of a disappointment for Fadel. If it works out, that is. But if it doesn't, if Style fails then it will be a huge disappointment to Fadel. And so Style doesn't want to tell Fadel about it just yet, precisely because he knows Fadel doesn't like disappointments. But Fadel is missing all that context, and so to him the situation reads very differently. And he's hurt. And now he finally opens up to Style about it: "Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing… How do you think that made me feel?" Style doesn't reply, he just keeps looking at Fadel with a serious face.
I think he feels bad that Fadel feels like this, but I think he truly doesn't dare to reveal what he's doing. Style knows just how important the burger restaurant was/is for Fadel and how much he loved the place and I think Style assumes it will be an even bigger disappointment and blow to Fadel if Style outright tells him and then fails to deliver. And it's a disappointment that Style really doesn't want to see, because I think it would crush Style himself. I think Style would actually beat himself up about that. And so he keeps his plans to himself, because he's afraid of failure. This specific failure is one he really can't afford. Style stays silent and doesn't answer Fadel's question. Fadel continues to rage: "If you can't do it, don't promise me anything. Do you know how easy it is to overthink when I'm here?" Style still isn't saying anything. Fadel is done. "If you have something important to do, just focus on it. I don't want to slow you down."
Fadel turns to walk off angrily. Style moves at the speed of light to hold Fadel back. Fadel finally talked to him and Style is not gonna let him go that easily. They still have something to clear up. Fadel stops and turns back to look at Style again. Before Style even says anything, he pulls away his vest to reveal the heart burger pin that Fadel gave to him. The pin that is very important to Fadel, the pin that Fadel is very protective of. In a way, the pin is Fadel's heart which he gave to Style only last episode. And it's right there. Fadel's heart. On Style's heart. In Style's heart. "You're the most important thing to me," is the first thing out of Style's mouth. Style is extremely serious right now. All of Style's decisions, all of Style's actions revolve around Fadel. And he really doesn't want to lose him. And even if he's afraid of failure and disappointing Fadel if he can't pull through with his plan, losing Fadel is worse, and so Style finally opens up at least a little bit: "I'm doing something for both of our futures." Again, Style is extremely serious. He isn't hiding behind a positive attitude, his words aren't performative in the slightest. This is extremely serious and extremely important. I think Fadel does believe him, but wants to confirm that it's true and also doesn't want to be kept in the dark. "What are you doing?" he asks, then throws Style a challenge, almost an attack: "Can you tell me?" You know your behavior is hurting me, will you keep it up for the sake of whatever it is you're apparently doing?
At this point everyone in the audience is screaming HE'S BUYING BACK THE RESTAURANT FOR YOU, YOU DIMWIT!!!!! at Fadel. But Fadel still isn't making the connection, despite the hint with the Heart Burger flag and the Heart Burger pin and Style dropping he's working on their shared future. Can you tell me? But Style can't. He doesn't quite dare. "Can you wait a little longer? I want to be certain about it first. I want to make sure I really can do it." This is a plea. Style is pleading with Fadel. I told you as much as I could and I really am trying my best. For us. Will you please give me the benefit of the doubt and be considerate of my feelings in this situation, too? As I said, I think Fadel did believe Style earlier already, but I think now Fadel really understands that what Style is doing is very important to Style, but that it comes with certain insecurities that Style isn't ready to open up about. Style never pressured Fadel to open up about anything he wasn't ready to open up about and Fadel isn't about to pressure Style either. Style is loud and clear on the fact that he has Fadel in mind and that Fadel is important to him. Fadel doesn't immediately answer and instead contemplates on the situation and Style's plea while Style keeps his eyes fixed on him. Fadel's reaction, Fadel's response really matters to Style right now. Their relationship depends on it. And then Fadel finally yields. Because Style and their relationship is just as important to Fadel. Even if the situation isn't ideal. "You really love surprising me, don't you?" Fadel finally says. And let me just share the original wording, even if it doesn't make much of a difference:
You always like to surprise me.
มึงนี่ชอบเซอร์ไพรส์กูตลอดเลยนะ
[mueng - nîi - chôp - sêr-prai - guu - dtà-lòt - loiie - ná]
you - [interjection] - like - surprise - me - always - [particle] - [particle]
(Alt. translation: You're always surprising me.)
I like that in Thai Fadel says Style always surprises him, because to me it highlights how for the past 12 episodes we really have watched Style surprise Fadel all the time. Over and over again. In many different ways. God, I love them, I love their story so much. Anyway. Back to the scene. Fadel says this and Style understands that Fadel is no longer outright pushing him away or blocking him anymore. Style replies:
Then come learn how to fix cars with me again.
งั้นมาเรียนซ่อมรถกับกูใหม่นะ
[ngán - maa - riian - sôm - rót - gàp - guu - mài - ná]
then - come - learn - fix, repair - car(s) - with - me - again - [na]
Official subs: Come back to class.
The phrasing of the official subs sounded a bit too much like a direct order in their written form, especially without the context of Style's friendly tone, which is why I wanted to share a softer phrasing for the purpose of this meta. Because Style's words aren't an order. They're an invitation. If you've forgiven me, come see me again regularly. They're a peace offering. Fadel stays grumpy and grumbles: "I've been taking the course for years, and I still don't know how to fix anything." It's a stab at Style, but not an aggressive one. And it doesn't have anything to do with their original conflict. Fadel is leaving that conflict behind. Fadel has forgiven Style, even if he doesn't outright say it. Style finally laughs (or rather snorts) for the first time in this entire scene and for a moment it looks like he's about to cry from relief that Fadel is no longer angry and that their relationship is saved:
Fadel continues with his grumbly teasing: "All you do is yap." The relationship really is back on. Style teases Fadel right back: "But that's exactly what you love about me, isn't it?" This isn't just Style going along with Fadel's teasing, it's also Style telling Fadel No matter how grumpy you pretend you are, no matter how much you were ignoring me, I know you never stopped loving me, I know you still love me now.
And finally, Fadel breaks. He laughs for a moment. Because he can't deny Style's call-out. Both, that he still loves Style and that he likes that Style is a chatty cat. Fadel pulls up the Heart Burger flag from the origami bouquet. Style laughs in surprise. Why? I don't know. You decide. Maybe he thought Fadel had stomped on it in dramatic anger. Or maybe he's thinking Oh wow, did the bouquet and the flag actually work? Is that what finally made him come see me again? Fadel is still holding up the flag and says that it's cute. And again you can really see the relief in Style's eyes, alongside his joy that things are looking better now with Fadel while he blinks back some last tears.
Style asks Fadel to clean the board and Fadel grumbles about it, but does it anyway. Because when does Fadel not give in to Style.
No. 10: Show, Don't Tell
We reach year 5 and finally the brothers are released. We check in with our foursome on the day the brothers get to go home. Bison walks through the door first, runs up to Kant and hugs him. In the meantime, Style is sat on the hood of the car. Fadel doesn't immediately walk up to him, but instead stops behind/next to Kant and Bison who discuss just how much they missed each other. Style doesn't pass up the opportunity to tease Fadel (and I think Style, too, wants a proper greeting, thank you very much):
Hey. This couple said they missed each other.
เฮ้ย คู่นี้เขาบอกคิดถึงกันด้วยนะ
[hóiie • kûu níi - kăo - bòhk - kít-tĕung - gan - dûuay - ná]
hey • this couple - tell - miss - each other - too - [particle]
Official subs: Hear that? He said he missed him and all that.
So how about you, did you miss me?
แล้วมึงอ่ะ คิดถึงกูป่ะ
[láew - mueng - àh • kít-tĕung - guu - bpà]
and - you - [particle] • miss - me - ?
Official subs: Did you miss me at all?
(Sharing this mostly because I feel like it and I know a lot of you love the language bits, not because the literal wording makes any difference in this case lol)
Fadel announces "I'm not saying it", but the reality of the matter is that Style's wish is Fadel's command. And so Fadel walks up to Style and plants a kiss on his lips. "I'm showing it."
But before they break apart, Style pats Fadel like easy tiger, we have company. I do think this is about Kant and Bison's live slug reaction and not because Style doesn't want to be kissing Fadel right now. I think Style is trying to be considerate of the other two. After the kiss, Style gets up, hugs Fadel and over his shoulder nods at Kant and Bison and boastfully points at Fadel like Did you guys see that?? That's my man!! It's the exact same energy as he had at the end of episode 9 when he was raising his eyebrows at Kant and Bison in the boat. It's the You guys don't have a Fadew like me energy. (I'm out of images for this post, but here's a parallel gifset.) I love just how proud Style always is of Fadel, and how happily he'll show him off.
While Fadel and Style are busy hugging, Kant and Bison discuss where they should go now. Style jumps in to ask "Hey, can you guys drop me off near my place first?" and Fadel gets confused: "What do you mean, 'your place'? The garage?" Fadel's confusion might be a little weird, because why exactly would Fadel be so confused about "my place"? That seems pretty self-explanatory in English, no? Well, let me explain. Because there's something really interesting going on here in Thai...
Now, I didn't go back and rewatch the entire show to check (if I did, it would be March until I finally drop this meta lol), but as far as I remember they usually refer to Style's place as "the garage", or อู่ [ùu] in Thai. But here for this line, when Style say "my place", he does not use the word อู่ [ùu] (= garage). Instead, he asks to be dropped off at his ร้าน [ráan]. Now what does that mean? This word means "store" or "shop" and like in English it can be paired with other words to specify just what kind of shop it is, for example:
ร้านหนังสือ [ráan năng-sĕu]: ráan (store) + năng-sĕu (book) = book store
You may have noticed that I said Style says just ร้าน [ráan], without specifying what kind of shop it is. Because just like in English, you can drop the specification and refer to it as just "the shop" (or ร้าน [ráan] in this case).
Now here comes the interesting bit: this word is also used when referring to food related places such as...
Or, you know, it's also in... ร้านเบอร์เกอร์ [ráan ber-gêr]. Now, เบอร์เกอร์ is "burger", but written in Thai letters. I don't have to tell you what ráan burger translates to, do I?
Oh, and at his point I should probably also mention that while the characters usually refer to Style's place as อู่ [ùu] (garage), when they talk about Fadel's place (the diner) they usually call it ร้าน [ráan] (shop, restaurant).
So yeah. The moment Style dropped that he wanted to be taken to his ร้าน [ráan] instead of his อู่ [ùu] (= garage) was the moment I started screaming, because that's when I knew for sure Style had bought back the restaurant and more importantly, that he had succeeded in doing so (yes, I did scream as if I didn't already know they were gonna be back at the restaurant through the clips shown in the MVs and from pics the boys posted during the shoot where they posed in front of the burger shop sign and their clothes matched the ones from the clips lol).
As I already mentioned, Style refers to it as just ร้าน [ráan] without specifying what kind of ร้าน [ráan] it is and it's vague enough that Fadel doesn't catch on the surprise, but it's just weird enough for Fadel to get confused: "What do you mean, 'ร้าน [ráan]'? The garage (อู่ [ùu])?" Yeah, Fadel's confusion here is about Style's unexpected word choice, because usually Style doesn't refer to his garage as ร้าน [ráan] (= shop, store). This is how they used to refer to the diner before Fadel had to go to prison. Style tells him he'll know soon and urges him to get into the car. They all do and Kant drives off.
No. 11: Surprise Surprise
The surprise works. Fadel didn't see it coming. "You said it was sold to someone." Style nods, making a m-hm sound, an adoring smile on his face that just oozes love and care. I really wish I could add a gif or a screenshot of his face, but unfortunately there's an image limit. I mean, you've seen the episode. You know how head over heels in love Style looks throughout this entire scene.
Style explains he bought it back for Fadel who then says Style didn't have to do that. Style says "I worked my ass off to buy this place back for you." I'm not entirely happy with the phrasing in the official subs, because to me there is also a negative connotation hidden in the phrase "work one's ass off", in the sense of "I worked my ass off for [xyz] and you don't appreciate it". But that might just be my ESL brain, maybe the media I've consumed mostly used this phrase in a more negative context and now my brain associates it with that.
In Thai Style uses the expression ตั้งใจทำงาน [dtâng jai tam ngaan] which does translate to "to work hard", but this expression contains the word ตั้งใจ [dtâng jai] which means "to intend to" or "to mean". I think it highlights with how much intention Style did this for Fadel. Style really meant to do this, like he's meant a lot of other things he's said or done over the last few episodes.
And Style putting in so much work also really shows how much he's grown. Because in the first half of the show I kept wondering why he had so much time to run after Fadel. We were told Style works as a mechanic, but we rarely saw him do any actual work. Instead, Style was able to follow Fadel's routine at the market or at the sports field or was even able to randomly help Fadel work at the restaurant without any scheduling problems and I kept thinking... what about his job at the garage? Is he never working? How does he have so much time to bother Fadel? And earlier in episode 12 Style's dad actually confirms just that: "You always only fixed a few cars a month." So Style indeed had the time to keep bugging Fadel. And back then it seemed like he didn't really have anything to do, didn't really have a goal or any direction in life. But then Kant sets Style on Fadel. And suddenly Style has a mission. And then Style falls in love. And now he suddenly has goals to work towards. We saw it last episode already, when Style suddenly started to make plans (first, his elaborate plan on getting Fadel and Bison on the run and second, during his last supper with Fadel when Style suggests making a plan for their life and their relationship while Fadel was imprisoned), and now it's not just that Style has started planning, but he makes plans with a very specific goal in mind and puts all his efforts in to reach this goal. He's no longer running around doing whatever. Style has really matured in this regard, Fadel's influence has changed him and has made him grow.
When Style says how determined he was to work hard to earn money to buy back the restaurant, his voice is somehow both soft and firm at the same time. His voice is so soft and filled with so much love, but there is some urgency to it, because Style needs Fadel to know this and he needs Fadel to know that he wanted to do this for him. Style knows he didn't have to, but Style wanted to. And it's important to him that Fadel really understands this. Because over the years Fadel has so often blocked or disregarded or struggled to accept all the nice things that Style has done for him. And Style doesn't want his act of love to be devalued again, especially not when he has spent so much time, effort, and energy on it purely out of love. A love that is worth it.
It's finally hitting Fadel what Style was so busy with when Fadel was sulking at him. Style confirms with another "mh". God, Style's heart eyes are really off the charts in this scene. "I wasn't sure I could do it so I didn't tell you," Style explains. And then he tells Fadel how he managed to keep up the energy in order to succeed despite his uncertainty: "But the image of you being back in this restaurant gave me this great strength to fix at least a hundred cars." Style smiles a bright, adoring smile. He's so in love. Fadel takes Styles hand and thanks him: "Thank you for doing this for me and for waiting for me." When Style responds, he actually phrases his sentence in a less direct and more general way in Thai than he does in the official subs:
Well, when you love someone, you gotta be able to wait.
ก็คนมันรักอ่ะก็ต้องรอได้ดิ
[gôh - kon - man - rák - àh - gôh - dtông - raw - dâai - dì]
well - person, people - they, he, she, it - love - [particle] - [sentence link] - have to - wait - be able to - [particle]
Official subs: Well, I love you. Of course I can wait.
This is an interesting difference between the Thai wording and the English subs, because once Fadel and Style start dating, Style actually rarely ever outright says the words "I love you" (and neither does Fadel, by the way). The only time Style properly says it is when Fadel has him at gun point in episode 7:
But now that I know the real you, I love you for real, Fadel.
แต่พอกูรู้ตัวจริงของมึงแล้วอ่ะ กูรักมึงจริงๆนะฟาเดล
[dtàe - poh - guu - rúu - dtuua jing kŏng meung - láew - àh • guu - rák - mueng - jing jing - ná - Fadel]
but - when - I - know - real you - already - [particle] • I - love - you - really, for real - [na] - Fadel
Official subs: Now that I know you, I really love you, Fadel.
And then arguably he says it again in episode 10 when he comforts Fadel on the stairs, although it's up to debate if that really counts as a direct "I love you":
But that I'm still staying / But that I still stayed
แต่ที่กูยังอยู่
[dtàe - tîi - guu - yang - yùu]
but - that - I - still - stay
Official subs: But I stay with you
is because I love that you're you / is because I love you for being you
เพราะกูรักที่เป็นมึง
[próh - guu - rák - tîi - bpen - mueng]
because - I - love - that - be - you
Official subs: because I love who you are.
Any other time Style talks about "love", he never addresses Fadel directly but phrases it in a more general way, using the word คน [kon] which means "person" or "people" instead of a pronoun. Style does this in episode 10 just a little while after the above line:
The more I know how much you care about me,
ยิ่งกูรู้ว่ามึงแค่ร์กูขนาดเนี่ย
[yîng - guu - rúu - wâa - mueng - kâe - guu - kà-nàat nîia]
the more - I - know - that - you - care (about) - me - like this, this much
Official subs: Knowing how much you care about me
the more I know that I don't love the wrong person.
มันยิ่งทำให้รู้นะว่ากูอ่ะ รักคนไม่ผิด
[man - yîng - tam hâi - rúu - ná - wâa - guu - àh • rák - kon - mâi - pìt]
it - the more - make that, cause - know - [particle] - that - I - [particle] • love - person - not - wrong
Official subs: makes me certain that I didn't choose the wrong man.
And he also does it in episode 9 when Fadel opens up about his ex for the first time on the island:
A person who risks their own life for someone they don't even know.
คนที่เอาชีวิตตัวเองไปเสี่ยงเพื่อคนที่ไม่รู้จักด้วยซ้ำ
[kon - tîi - ao - chee-wít dtuua eng - bpai - sìiang - pêuua - kon - tîi - mâi - rúu-jàk - dûuay sám]
person - that - take - one's own life - go - risk - for - person - that - not - know - even
Official subs: You risked your life for a total stranger.
I love the right person.
กูรักถูกคนแล้วละ
[guu - rák - tùuk - kon - láew - lá]
I - love - right - person - already - [particle]
Official subs: I know I'm in love with the right man.
And Style does it again now in episode 12, standing in front of the restaurant with Fadel. And let me just repeat the line with an even more literal translation this time (this sentence really doesn't work well in a literal translation in English, especially because English also comes with plural forms rip):
Well, people who love, they gotta be able to wait. / Well, a person who loves, has to be able to wait.
ก็คนมันรักอ่ะก็ต้องรอได้ดิ
[gôh - kon - man - rák - àh - gôh - dtông - raw - dâai - dì]
well - person, people - they, he, she, it - love - [particle] - [sentence link] - have to - wait - be able to - [particle]
Official subs: Well, I love you. Of course I can wait.
This time Style actually switches it around, because previously คน [kon] implicitly referred to Fadel, while this time คน [kon] actually refers to Style himself. And for some reason the official translator went for a direct "I love you" when Style neither says "I", nor says "you". In the entire series, Fadel and Style rarely say the words "I love you" word for word to each other. It's very clear that they do love each other, but they never outright say it. Instead they say things like "I'm worried about you" or "So what if we're old? I'll still wanna be with you" or "I don't feel so sad anymore. I'm happier." And they don't really need to tell each other I love you anyway, because their actions speak for themselves. It's like Fadel said the moment he got out of prison: "I'm not saying it. I'm showing it." And yes, this line was about missing Style, but really, this sentiment also goes for their love, for both Fadel as well as Style. So Style doesn't directly say he loves Fadel, instead Style just implies it and it's only in the next line where he doesn't mention the word "love" that he directly addresses Fadel:
Whether it's 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, I can always wait for you.
จะ 5 ปี 10 ปี 20 ปี รอมึงได้เสมอแหละ
[jà - hâa - bpii - sìp - bpii - yîi-sìp - bpii - raw - mueng - dâai - sà-mĕr -làe]
will - 5 - years - 10 - years - 20 - years - wait (for) - you - be able to - always - [particle]
Official subs: Whether it's five, ten, or twenty years, I'll wait for you.
And this is the point where I get jumpscared by Dunk's voice suddenly blasting through my speakers. I wish the editors had made the music just a little more quiet. It gets me every single time, because every single time I watch this scene I get so immersed that I completely forget about the jumpscare. Fadel and Style lovingly stare at each other while I scramble to save the health of my eardrums. Then Fadel says he'll work hard to pay Style back, but Style doesn't want that. Technically Style is the current owner, and if Fadel were to pay him back then it would be like Fadel was buying the restaurant from Style. But that's not how Style wants to see it. Because this isn't Style's restaurant that Fadel has to buy from him. No, it's their restaurant. It's already their restaurant. Because obviously if Style owns it, then Fadel owns it, too. It's both a gift to Fadel and something that Style bought for them to share. Because "I'm here to support you in all your dreams." Because no one means well for Fadel more than Style does.
Fadel says "I sure am a lucky guy. I've been doing bad things my entire life, but I have the best boyfriend in the world." Style throws his head to the side, smiling, half in an Oh, you sweet-talker way and half in a No need to mention it, kinda way. Then he says "It's all thanks to Kant for daring me to take you out." And this is actually a reference to the title. The Thai name of the series goes:
He hired me to flirt with a hitman
เขาจ้างให้ผมจีบนักฆ่า
[kăo - jâang - hâi - pŏm - jìip - nák-kâa]
he - hire - that - I - hit on, flirt, woo - assassin
And this is what Style says:
[...] for hiring me flirt with you.
[...] ที่จ้างกูมาจีบมึง
[tîi - jâang - guu - maa - jìip - mueng]
that - hire - I - come - hit on, flirt, woo - you
Style laughs and Fadel smiles, too, and then Style pulls the Heart Burger pin out of his pocket. Without a word, he carefully pins it onto Fadel's shirt while Fadel makes heart-eyes at him. It's a parallel to Fadel putting the pin on Style last episode. The ring pin exchange is complete. Style says "From now on, everything is yours." They're all but married. Style still has his hand on Fadel's chest by the pin. Fadel goes to grab it. They smile at each other. Then they turn and together they enter the restaurant, their restaurant, their shared future, hand in hand.
No. 12: Dinner With Mom
At night, when Fadel and Style are done at the ร้าน [ráan] (restaurant) they do go to Style's อู่ [ùu] (garage). And I love how Style immediately calls out that Fadel is here. Style is so excited to tell his dad the joyful news. But before he has the chance to share his good news, he gets surprised with bad news instead. A dinner invitation.
Our foursome once again gets together to fight evil. And of course, the evil dinner invitation calls for an urgent outfit change for all four of them. They're greeted by two men holding out guns, and Style is a bit startled for a moment, but otherwise keeps calm. The men demand Fadel's and Bison's guns and the brothers hand them over. The men then walk into the dining room and the four of them look at each other before following the men inside where Lilly is waiting for them together with Babe and Style's dad tied up on their chairs. Kant and Style immediately call out to their loved ones. In general, I just love how worried about his dad Style is throughout the entire scene and how he keeps checking and communicating with him. I actually made a whole separate post about this with lots of gifs where I really go into detail about it, because the relationship between Style and his dad really needs to be appreciated in all its glory in gifs and tumblr simply just has an image limit of 30 gifs per (desktop) post. I can't afford to spend like 20 of them on Style and his dad alone. It was already tricky enough to limit everything I wanted to showcase for this episode to only 30 images in the first place. Anyway. Back to the scene.
Once again Style finds himself in danger, and once again he mainly stays out of the conflict between the brothers and their mother. We also aren't shown Style's face that much, so we can only make guesses as to how he feels listening to Lilly monologuing on and on and Bison raging at her. Style probably feels worried, especially for his dad. We know this, because in the beginning of the scene, before everyone sat down at the table, Style was very fixated on his dad and you could tell that he wanted nothing more than to run over to him and check if his dad was unharmed. When everyone is sitting at the table, sometimes the camera cuts into a wide shot and while we only see the back of Style's head, we can tell that he's looking at Lilly, so I assume he's paying close attention to her words and actions.
At some point, Kant chimes in: "It was me who exposed you. I masterminded the whole thing. If you want to kill someone, kill me. Just let my brother go." Style immediately jumps on board: "Kant was right. Let my Dad go. He doesn't know anything. I don't care what you do to me." We already learned in episode 9 that Style is very much willing to give his own life for the people he loves and so it doesn't come as a surprise at all that he's willing to offer himself up for his dad. However, in comparison to episode 9 there now is a hint of uncertainty to Style's voice, because he really doesn't know Lilly and so he can't predict her actions and reactions unlike he could with Fadel in episode 9. Lilly laughs a mocking laugh while Style and his dad exchange glances. And I love that they exchange glances here, because, to quote from my other post:
i love that style is communicating with his dad again at this very point, because style offering himself up will also affect his dad. his dad might be physically fine if style trades his dad for himself, but emotionally the dad will be ruined if lilly takes his son's life, especially when he's already had to deal with the loss of his wife years ago. style being willing to sacrifice himself isn't nothing, in fact, it's a very big deal and so the two of them communicate about it
Lilly continues to monologue and announces she has some poisonous drinks prepared for the occasion. Style turns to his dad and says "Dad. I'm sorry." His dad had absolutely nothing to do with this, his dad is totally innocent and Style hates that his dad was pulled into this and that his dad's life is now in danger.
We then don't see any shot of Style at all while Fadel and Bison plead with their mother and offer to continue working for her. We don't get to see Style's immediate reaction to Lilly's announcement that she'll let her sons and their boyfriends go if her sons give their brother-in-law and their father-in-law the poisoned drink. There is a long pause and it's only right before Lilly asks "Can you do that?" that the camera goes back to Style and we see there is shock and concern. Shit's getting real.
Fadel and Bison say yes, they can. Style is most definitely very worried right now, but to be honest, I don't feel like he's all that terrified, I think that's more of a secondary feeling. He watches closely as Fadel lifts the glass towards his dad lips, and Style is clearly anxious and agitated and maybe a little afraid, but he doesn't say a single word to stop Fadel and I think deep down he does trust Fadel not to kill his dad, trusts Fadel to find a way out with dad unscathed. After all they've been through, I think Style trusts Fadel not to cause him such great pain. Although I do think Style is ready to swap the glass out of Fadel's hand at any given moment. But Fadel pulls through. From one moment to the next Fadel throws the wine into his mother's minion's face, attacks him, and Bison follows his lead. Style and Kant jump up to free their family.
Fadel and Bison kill the henchmen without remorse and end up with Lilly at gunpoint. Kant calls out for Bison not to kill her and Style offers to call the cops. Now that the immediate danger is over, we get to see a little bit of that Style again who tries to mediate and solve conflicts with as few people coming to harm as possible. But Fadel orders him not to get the police involved, so Style drops his phone, still concerned and not entirely happy, but without further protest. Style, Kant, and their family watch the brothers poison Lilly without interrupting them.
And I kinda love we do get to see Style witness Fadel actually murdering someone, because in my ep5 meta I wrote this:
"I promise that no matter who you are, I'll still like you." And there it is. Style's decision. [...] Fadel doesn't believe [Style's] promise, though. "Words are cheap. I'll do that when you're ready. You can judge, then." Again, I think Fadel has a point. [...] Because yes, Style may say he'll like Fadel no matter his occupation, but Style still hasn't seen the killer in action. Fadel's words mean Decide whether you still like me or not only when you find out my real occupation before you promise anything as much as they mean Decide whether you still like me or not once you've actually seen me murder someone in front of you before you promise anything. Style has already made a decision about the former, but he is yet to make a decision about the latter.
And so I love that Style is now able to make the choice of loving Fadel having seen Fadel truly at his worst, having seen him murder someone in cold blood.
I know for this meta I focus purely on character analysis, and I don't really criticize (whether it's acting performances or script writing or directing or whatnot), but I do wish the series would have spent a little more time on this, on Style seeing Fadel kill. Because Style is clearly affected by what he is witnessing.
Something truly horrible is happening right in front of his eyes. And it's a shame that Style finally seeing the killer in action gets kind of just glossed over in the very next moment when "I'm a killer, I'm a bad person, you should be wary of me" "I love you anyway" has been such a big theme for these two. It's kinda weird that we go from Style looking this horrified to Style being happy and content in bed, as if nothing had happened. That kill doesn't even get mentioned again. I feel like you could jump from the scene in front of the restaurant straight to Fadel and Style in bed and not notice that any major traumatizing event has occurred in between. Ah well. Let's move on.
No. 13: 100%
We come back to Fadel and Style sitting in Style's bed at night. Fadel is wondering if he should change the restaurant's name and Style thinks it's fine as it is. But Fadel says he wants Style to be a part of it, too, so Style suggests "Just add an S and a heart" and I'm just thinking... So, Heart Burgers? Or Hearts Burger, since he talks about an additional heart? Or maybe the S in an entirely different position? Whatever name Style is thinking of, according to him with an added S and another heart it'll be a better version than Fadel's version, because:
Because you have another heart right here.
เพราะมีหัวใจอีกดวงเพิ่มขึ้นมาอยู่ตรงนี้ไง
[próh - mii - hŭua-jai - ìik - duuang - pêrm kêun - maa - yùu - dtrong níi - ngai]
because - have - heart - another - [classifier] - increased - come - be - here - [particle]
Official subs: With another heart, that is.
Fadel likes Style's idea. And before I move on, I just want to go into more depth about this little sequence for a moment: after Fadel explains that he's thinking of changing the name because he wants Style to be part of it, too, Style looks like he thinks about something for a moment before he says "I don't think it needs much change." Of course, in this moment he is thinking about what exactly could be changed if Fadel really does want to change something, but the thing is, Style already likes the restaurant the way it is. He doesn't necessarily need the restaurant to change if Fadel is changing it just because he thinks Style would want him to change it. It really reminds me of episode 6 and the theme of "Be who you want to be, not who someone else wants you to be". If the restaurant represents Fadel's life, Style already likes Fadel the way he is. But if Fadel does want to change, there is something important to do: he needs to add a S(tyle) to his life. And another heart (Style's heart). With that, it will make a much better version of Fadel's life than it was before. And Fadel actually agrees.
I can't help but think back to the last time they were in Style's bed at night, all the way back in episode 5. Back then, Fadel really struggled with sharing his life with Style and letting him come close. Now Fadel actively wants Style to be part of his life. Now that he's done being a hitman, the restaurant can finally be Fadel's life, but it's not his restaurant alone, it's theirs. Getting to be part of Fadel's life is something Style has desired for a long time now and has even fought and argued with Fadel over on multiple occasions, and now Style is finally granted his wish. Fadel is finally letting Style in. When Fadel agrees that a better version would be one with an added S(tyle), Style looks at Fadel for a moment and thinks about something again.
Style knows Fadel loves him. And that actually reminds him... Style turns to grab something off the shelf next to him and proudly presents it to Fadel. The key to Kant's car. It's finally Style's. And I know from a story crafting perspective it makes sense for Style to receive the car only at the very end, but it's still really funny to me that Style was given the car only now, when Fadel has without a doubt been head over heels in love with Style for the past five years already. Because Fadel was without a doubt already head over heels in love with Style before he went to prison. But however long it took, what really matters is that Style did get the car, because a deal is a deal. And Style did indeed succeed. "If I could make you fall crazy in love with me, I'd get his car." When Style says that, his voice is full of affection and there's also a bit of teasing. I know you're head over heels in love with me. But Fadel tells Style to give the key back to Kant:
Because I don't love you that much.
เพราะกูไม่ได้รักมึงขนาดนั้น
[próh - guu - mâi dâai - rák - mueng - kà-nàat nán]
because - I - not - love - you - to that extent
Official subs: I'm not in love with you like that.
Style wordlessly stares at Fadel for a second while he's processing those words, blinks, then lowers his head. Really now?
Fadel looks at him, a grin most definitely hidden in his eyes, then huffs and pointedly ignores Style. It's a challenge. Style puts down the car key. Challenge accepted. Because Style is not one to back down from a challenge. This personality trait has stayed consistent until the end of the series. Style turns to loom over Fadel. "Are you sure that you're not head over heels in love with me?" Because Style knows with unwavering certainty that Fadel is. He just needs Fadel to admit to it. I've already talked about how Fadel and Style hardly say "I love you" to each other. Style, the person who loves so fiercely and so passionately and so loudly, already rarely says it himself and Fadel says it even less. In fact, ever since they've started dating the only other time Fadel has said he loves Style since that one time Fadel directly said it the night he found out about the betrayal in episode 6 was in the kitchen in episode 11 when he said he wants to "do what I love with who I love" and even then he actually doesn't literally say the words I love you, but rather just implies it. If anything, Fadel likes to claim he isn't actually in love with Style. And so I think Style wants to hear Fadel say differently out loud for once, even if Fadel's actions speak louder than his words anyway.
But Fadel continues to ignore him. I think Fadel is waiting to see what Style will do in order to draw the words out of Fadel's mouth that Style so desperately wants to hear. It's like he's testing Style's persistence. Style kisses Fadel's cheeks and asks "How much do you love me?" But Fadel isn't giving in to Style that easily and that quickly. "Only 30%." He knows Style is chasing those 100%. Style ups the ante and kisses Fadel's neck. This is a game now. "How much do you love me?" Fadel says "60% now" and looks up at Style, waiting to see what Style's next move is going to be. This time, Style goes for the mouth, goes for a full make-out session even. Then Style asks again: "How much do you love me?" He grins at Fadel expectantly and he's definitely also a little bit satisfied and proud. Fadel doesn't reply immediately, just puts his hand on Style's face and looks at him for a moment. And then Fadel finally gives in and says "100%".
Again, this meta isn't supposed to be a review or a criticism piece on the story, but I do think it's a bit of a shame that the conversations about percentages wasn't about trust. Because I feel like the main question with them over the series wasn't really Does Fadel love Style? but rather Does Fadel trust Style? And trust was also the big theme of episode 5, the episode that Fadel and Style's game in episode 12 is a callback to: "A guy like me doesn't go trusting someone 100%." And a little later in episode 5, when they're in Style's bed, Style more or less opens the conversation with "Sometimes you make me feel so scared, and sometimes you make me feel so safe," which again is about trust, not love. This theme continues also in episode 8, when Fadel handcuffs Style to the bed, because "I don't trust you", not because he doesn't love Style. Episode 8 is all about Style trying to gain Fadel's trust again, not his love: "What do I have to do for you to trust me?" The episode 12 dialogue does work in a way, because Fadel did say he didn't love Style or didn't like him all that much multiple times over the course of the series, and he even makes a comment like that in this very scene that we're currently discussing. But the thing is, Style never actually believes Fadel whenever Fadel claims he doesn't love Style (that much) and Style even calls him out on his "I don't love you" claim in episode 8: "You might be good at cooking and shooting, but you're not very good at lying at all." Style never doubted that Fadel loved him, but trust has been a very big issue. In fact, trust also played a role only this very episode when Fadel was sulking at Style when Style couldn't come in to teach in prison. Because in episode 10 Fadel had told Style "I don't want to have any expectations just to be disappointed" and Fadel had trusted Style not to disappoint him, except then Style seemingly does disappoint him and that hurts Fadel ("I told you I don't like expectations because I don't want to be disappointed." [...] "Coming to see me regularly, getting me used to seeing you, making me miss you, and suddenly disappearing… How do you think that made me feel?"). It makes Fadel feel like he can't trust Style, not that he can't love Style. And the question in that scene is whether Fadel can trust Style to really be working on something for their future that Style can't share yet, it's not whether Style loves him. So yeah. I feel like the dialogue about the percentages would have been a much cleaner parallel/callback if it had been about Fadel trusting Style, not about Fadel loving Style. Because we all, including Style, know that Fadel has always loved Style. He just didn't always trust him. But now he does. 100%. Style once decided "One day, I'll be your 100%" and now he is. They celebrate that by making out some more.
When they part again, Style tells Fadel "You know what? Having you is worth more than winning that car" and I'm filled with satisfaction upon hearing that, because I said more or less exactly the same thing three episodes ago in my ep9 meta:
[I]t's actually kinda funny, because Style agreed to make Fadel his boyfriend, but it's been how many episodes since they've started dating?? And we have yet to see Style with said car. [...] [A]s of episode 6 it was Kant who was still in possession of the car, despite Style and Fadel being head over heels in love by that point [...]. Style may have gone into it for the car, but he never actually took the car and by now the car is long forgotten. I didn't go and check, but as far as I remember Style hasn't even brought the car up to Kant ever since that scene in episode 4 where he initially came to claim it. At this point, Style would much rather have Fadel than the car anyway.
(Bolded for emphasis)
Now please forgive me if I skip the rest of the love scene, but I do want to get this post done before the end of the month, if possible. I think the main take-away is that now they both very much want each other and are very much into it, with nothing holding either one of them back.
No. 14: Driving Into the Sunset
Of course their last scene would be of them driving into the (metaphorical) sunset together in Kant's car that Style has finally won. Fadel and Style check in with Kant and Bison in Iceland. After the call, Fadel asks if Style would also like to go on a trip. Obviously Style wants to. "I usually travel with my Dad. Never done it with my boyfriend before," Style says, at which point, upon me showing my language buddy and Thai language consultant this scene, he goes "...the kidnapping, though?" and I break into laughter, because my friend is right. Yeah, Style, what do you mean you've never gone on a trip with your boyfriend? *gestures at episodes 8 and 9* Right, wots all this then?
I mean, technically you could argue that during that time Fadel wasn't actually Style's boyfriend, but let's be real, Style never got that memo. Or rather he went I recognize that the Council has made a decision. But given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it.
Anyway, whether it'll be their first trip, their second trip, or their hundredth trip, I don't think Style will ever say no to traveling with Fadel. Fadel suggests planning a trip later and then, at the mention of Style's dad, asks how Style's dad is taking the news of Fadel being an ex-assassin and ex-prisoner. I do think Style's dad is genuinely chill with it, but once again I wish the series would have dwelled just a little bit more on the aftermath of the Lilly incident and on how it affected everyone involved. Because it was quite a traumatic and brutal incident, and it's a bit jarring how everyone is all sunshine and rainbows from one second to the next. But for the sake of this meta and the next line, I'll just assume that everyone, including Style's dad, worked through it all off-screen. Style says that his dad is totally okay with it, because "He said I need someone with a past like yours to tie me down." The Thai wording is slightly different, actually:
My dad said someone like me needs to meet someone with a history like yours.
พ่อกูอ่ะ บอกว่าคนอย่างกูต้องเจอคนมีประวัติแบบมึง
[pôh guu - àh • bòhk - wâa - kon - yàang - guu - dtông - jer - kon - mii - bprà-wàt - bàep - meung]
my dad - [particle] • say - that - person - like - me - have to, need to - meet - person - have - history - like - you
I like that in the original phrasing it doesn't state the "to tie me down" part. The Thai line leaves it up to the viewer's interpretation as to why exactly Style would need someone with a past like Fadel's. Personally, I took it as "Style needs someone fucked up enough to be able to stand and handle and appreciate all of Style's unhingedness". And I don't necessarily think that Fadel would actively try to tie Style down, since Style's shameless loudness and Style's ability to unabashedly be himself and say things without a filter is exactly what Fadel loves him for. I think Fadel tying Style down ("taming" him *wink wink*) happens more as a byproduct of both of them influencing each other and them changing into better versions of themselves when they're together.
The words of Style's dad make Fadel laugh. Then he says: "You know, I still remember what I promised your dad before I went to jail." Style looks over to him and asks "What did you promise?" Style smiles and I see both joy as well as curiosity on his face.
I think Style knows exactly what promise Fadel is referring to, but he's dying to hear the words out loud out from Fadel's mouth. His expression is also very expectant, almost challenging when he's done speaking. The little head tilt afterwards is almost like he's saying Pray do tell. Fadel replies: "I told him I'd go talk to him after five years." As I said, I think Style knew what the promise was, but I think actually hearing Fadel say it still gives him a thrill and causes butterflies in his tummy. He looks over to Fadel in pure delight.
And I love, love, LOVE that Fadel was the one to bring it up first. Because at some point after episode 8, when there were so many references to a FadelStyle marriage and I seriously started thinking about the possibility of a canon FadelStyle wedding or at least a wedding proposal (lmao joke's on me rip), I was contemplating about who of the two would propose first and who I'd prefer to do so. And I thought Style proposing would fit with his personality, especially since he himself said "I could spring a ring on you one day and just ask you to marry me." It seemed fit that the series would end with Style doing exactly just that. But then I contemplated some more and thought, actually, I would love it if Fadel was the one to propose. Because in the series it's always Style who is chasing Fadel, it's always Style proving over and over again that he really wants Fadel in his life while Fadel spends the majority of the series pushing Style away (and Fadel does it again even in the finale when he's mad at Style during year 4!). And I thought that it would probably mean the world to Style if Fadel proposed. Because it would showcase that Fadel wants Style in his life just as much as Style wants Fadel in his life. It would show Style that the feeling is mutual, that Fadel wants it for himself, too. That a marriage isn't something Fadel agreed to just because Style asked for it or talked him into it or anything like that. Fadel proposing would show Style that Fadel is choosing Style out of his own free will the way Style has been choosing Fadel over and over again. I'm once again reminded of @braceletofteeth's tags on this post:
#Style wants Fadel to claim him as his so bad it makes him look stupid #just like he takes pride in choosing his own man #he would be proud to be chosen as Fadel's man #delighted‚ if Fadel let others (and Style) know he's the one who earned the space reserved for his special someone #in his heavily secured heart #if he was so special to Fadel that he wouldn't want him to be taken away #or to share him with anyone else
Fadel asking for Style's hand in marriage, Fadel marrying Style would be Fadel claiming Style, it would be Fadel making an announcement to the world that Style is his and his alone. It would be Fadel choosing Style and Style would even have a ring to prove it. To prove that he is Fadel's. To prove that Fadel is his. I just thought Fadel being the one to propose would mean the world to Style. And judging by the joy in Style's face in the above gif, it absolutely does mean the world to him. That Fadel is the one to bring up the prospect of marriage.
Style asks if Fadel is serious and Fadel says yes, he is, but that he wants to have the chat only once the restaurant is up and running again (at least that's how I interpreted this statement). Style says "No need to hurry." He most definitely wants to marry Fadel one day, but I think he's got a point with this. After all, it's only now that they can finally start dating "properly", can finally experience the couple life with both of them out of prison, all cards out in the open, both parties trusting and loving each other mutually, and most importantly, without fearing for their lives. "No need to push yourself. After everything that we've been through, still staying together is already beyond anything we expected." Their relationship really is chill the way it is, there is no need to rush anything. They can get married when they both feel the time is right for it. I think that's what Style is getting at here. Fadel agrees. Then he says "I thought I'd die alone." Style knows that well. They discussed this last episode by the gravestone. And back then, Style had already announced that he wouldn't let Fadel get lonely in death. Now he says: "We'll die one day, but we'll die together of old age." They're gonna have that old man yaoi future together. Fadel laughs, claims Style is cheesy, but still plants a big kiss on Style's lips. Uhhhh, Fadel, so what about the lecture you gave Style about safe driving the first time you guys met? All of that goes right out of the window as Style and Fadel continue to plant kisses on each other. How's that for character growth?
And off they drive into the night. Style's got both the car of his dreams as well as the man of his dreams. What more could Style want?
I'm not gonna write a proper introduction this time around. You know the drill. Enjoy!
(And if you're new here, feel free to check out my posts on the other episodes linked above first.)
Pronoun situation: In my first meta post I kept up with their pronoun use on a scene by scene basis. Just like in ep3, I won't do that in ep4 either because Fadel and Style consistently use the rude guu/mueng pronouns for each other throughout the entire episode without any significant pronoun changes.
To recap: Last time we saw Style, he had just been left lying on the cold hard ground with a punch to the gut after having hooked up with Fadel in a random storage room. Just like at the end of ep2, at the end of ep3 they did not part on the best of terms either.
No. 1: Blissful Dreams
Even though the hook-up ended rather painfully for Style, and even though the hook-up itself may not have been quite what Style dreamed of, it's still left quite a mark on him. So much so, that he even dreams about it that night. So much so, that this dream even affects him in real life the next morning.
"Crap," Style swears. This wasn't the plan. Style may have a bit of a problem now. And over the course of this episode we'll find out just how much of a problem Style actually has now, because the dream hasn't only affected him physically, but the reality that inspired the dream has also affected him emotionally.
No. 2: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
The majority of the interactions Style has had with Fadel so far have ended with Fadel either forcing Style to leave (even to the point of physically dragging him away) or with Fadel abandoning Style. Even if from Style's perspective it may not seem like his actions have much of a positive effect on Fadel, I think deep down he does sense that he's managing to worm his way into Fadel's life after all. In any case, Style is not giving up no matter how many times Fadel will ditch him. However, since none of the strategies he's tried so far have seemed to really bear fruit, he now changes course again: disappear for a bit, so that he'll miss you. This strategy works exceptionally well, but Style won't know about it until about two thirds into the episode.
No. 3: Blue-Balled
Despite his resolution to stay away from Fadel to make him miss him, Style fails to hold out for long and is back sooner rather than later. As @secriden points out, Style "comes running to Fadel the second he hears about Fadel asking about him" (quoted from @secriden). Style even explicitly says that he hadn't planned on stopping by, but then "some auntie told me someone asked about me". Style has tried out a new strategy that he hasn't gone with before, learned that it actually did have some sort of affect on Fadel, and immediately rushes to confirm this for himself. Within the first 30 seconds (20 seconds, to be exact!) of Style entering the kitchen he asks Fadel twice if Fadel has missed him. It's literally the second and the fifth sentence out of his mouth when he shows up. This is important info to Style, he needs to know if Fadel has missed him and he needs to know immediately. Style has already started to develop positive feelings towards Fadel over the course of episode 3 and their little storage room fling has influenced that development even more. Style needs to know if Fadel feels the same way. In fact, he downright assumes that Fadel feels the same way: it's in the way he is so satisfied and smug when he walks through the door. Style is very happy about this.
Fadel, however, shoots him down. Style's smile fades, but I don't think it's necessarily because he's hurt or disappointed or because he wasn't expecting this reaction. No, Fadel has reacted like this to about 90% of the things Style has said to him the entire time they've known each other. Style backs up a bit, but the way he looks at Fadel seems curious, like he's searching for something, like there is a question on his mind. Why does he STILL keep insisting like this, why does he STILL go for rejection when evidence points to the opposite?
Reminder: Last time the two of them saw each other, Style was way out of line and Fadel ended up punching him. Style was also quite upset that Fadel would sleep with him and immediately ditch him. In their last meeting, they didn't part on the best of terms.
So Fadel claims he didn't miss Style (despite evidence saying otherwise) and that Style annoys him because he messes up Fadel's routine and Style thinks about it for a moment, contemplates what Fadel's problem could be with him this time that could make him act like that and then comes to a conclusion as to what it might be:
He lets Fadel know that he's not angry at him for what happened the night before. When Style says "I was asking for it", I'm not entirely convinced he's referring to his unserious behavior at the group meeting. I'm not sure he's actually realized that his behavior was disrespectful. After all, he was "rewarded" for it with sex. Plus, the next thing he says is: "[I]t doesn't matter how scary you are". I think this refers to their confrontation and verbal exchange right around Fadel punching Style. I already touched on Style not being scared of Fadel in my ep 3 meta:
Fadel threatens to punch Style if he doesn't move but Style refuses to stand down even though he knows very well from personally witnessing it that Fadel is perfectly capable of punching him if he wished to. Despite that, Style is not scared of Fadel. [...] When Style says "You like me" I don't think he necessarily means it in the sense of you're in love with me or you're crushing on me. I think he [...] is making it very clear just how confident he is about Fadel not hurting him. [...] It's a counterattack to Fadel's threat.
(Bolded for emphasis)
Style was very fearless the night before, which is why I think when Style says "I was asking for it" he's referring specifically to how Fadel was threatening him and how Style put up a fight in response. He "was asking for it", because he didn't move out of Fadel's way despite Fadel making it very clear what the consequences of Style's stubbornness would be. Fadel got scary in their last meeting, and now Style tells him "[I]t doesn't matter how scary you are, I'm hooked". While in episode 3 the "I'm not scared of you" was implicit in his actions, Style now tells him explicitly in words.
If you've read my episode 3 meta, you'll know that a running theme throughout the entire post ended up being the question of whether Style really meant all the things he said (esp the flirty things) or if it was all just empty words. Here in the kitchen? Style means every single word, every flirty sentence that he utters. In episode 3, when he bugs Fadel at the running track or when he tells Fadel that he likes and wants him right before they hook up at the end of the episode, there is such an air of loudness to his demeanor. In contrast, when Style tells Fadel "I'm hooked" and asks him what he has to do to win him over, there is much more tranquility to it. Even his voice is calmer, there is no trace of his usual dramatic flair. Style is much more grounded here compared to some of his flirting (attempts) in previous episodes.
Style is being serious when he says "[I]t doesn’t matter how scary you are, I'm hooked", he really means it. But Fadel only looks at him for a moment, squints his eyes briefly, and wordlessly directs his focus back to his herbs, signaling to Style Yeah sure whatever, I don't care, you're a burden and an inconvenience to me. This is yet another very predictable reaction and Style isn't surprised by it, but he's definitely a little annoyed now that he's still not getting through to Fadel, that Fadel still won't admit that he does want Style around and has started taking a liking to him. So Style leans closer to Fadel again and asks what it will take for Style to win him over. Again, Style is being serious about it, his usual over the top flair is missing. He isn't doing this for show, he's not playing anything up because someone else asked him to or because he'll gain something out of it. Style is asking because he genuinely wants to know for no one but himself. Style genuinely cares now.
But Fadel tells Style to fuck off. Not literally, of course (his actual words are "Get out of my face"), but "fuck off" is certainly the subtext of it. And that subtext reaches Style clear as day. Instead of following Fadel's order, he's gonna be a little shit about it now.
"Fuck", you say? Gladly. Malicious compliance with the subtext. Style walks around the table. "I know a guy like you just needs a little nudge."
Again, this time around I do think Style means all the flirty shit that he says. It's in the way his tone is much more calm and quiet and how everything he says is much more deliberate, much more calculated. It's a similar vibe to that time in the gym when he told Fadel to call him any time if he needed a spotter, which, if you've read my first meta post of this series, is a scene you'll know I've determined to be the first time Style genuinely flirts with Fadel for the purpose of flirting and not for any other motivations such as revenge. And now here in the kitchen he's also flirting for the purpose of flirting again. His words aren't just empty words.
Another way we can tell that Style genuinely wants to get into Fadel's pants right there and then is by the way he gets handsy. In episode 3 he doesn't really touch Fadel when he spouts all the sexual innuendos at him at the running track. The only time Style touches him in that scene is when he squeezes Fadel's man boob in order to emphasize the word "heart". Or in the storage room, even though he claims to want Fadel, Style doesn't touch Fadel either during that entire conversation before they get it going. In fact, the only time he touches Fadel before Fadel starts kissing him is to remove Fadel's hand from him. In contrast, the sauna scene in episode 2 showed us that when Style actually, genuinely wants to sleep with Fadel, he'll start touching Fadel in suggestive places, will even go as far as shamelessly stick his hands down Fadel's pants (or, uh, towel in that case). And even though he didn't exactly get handsy with Fadel at the work-out bench, despite my claims of this interaction being the very first time he genuinely flirts with Fadel, well... Style may have not been handsy, but he sure got kneely:
In the kitchen in episode 4 every flirty thing Style says is an attempt at getting into Fadel's pants again (Oh, how very much the storage room fling has left its mark on Style!). Style genuinely wants this, genuinely wants him. Every single one of Style's actions underlines that as well. And then Fadel actually maneuvers him onto the kitchen table. Style is elated.
At this point I want to once again take a little detour to @clemelntine's meta on each of the boys' sexual fantasies of one other and what that means for the storage room hook-up. If you remember, she writes:
No matter how much he annoys Fadel in the day to day and how much he seems to take the upperhand in those interactions, when it comes to sex he likes in the idea of letting Fadel do what he does/wants.
Not only do we see this play out in the storage room in the way Style gladly gives Fadel full control over his body, but we see this pattern continue in the kitchen. Style is very proactive in showing just how much he wants to get into Fadel's pants, but the moment Fadel seemingly folds and goes along with it, Style lets Fadel put him on the kitchen table with no resistance whatsoever and eagerly awaits whatever Fadel has in store for him this time, letting Fadel have full control over the situation and his body again.
Whenever Fadel has blocked or rejected or ignored Style in this scene so far, it has not come as a surprise to Style a single time. This is what Fadel does. Style is used to it. It might annoy or disgruntle him at times, but overall he is used to it. It's their whole relationship so far in a nutshell after all: Style bugs Fadel and Fadel tells him to get lost. But when Fadel drops "You won't ever get what you want" and leaves him hanging? This time around it hits Style completely out of left field. Style was so caught up in his euphoria, that he didn't see this coming at all (unlike me, the audience, who was just sitting there going "ohh shit oh damn this is gonna be another fake-out" the moment Fadel grabbed Style's waist and turned him towards the table dfjkdf). After all, Fadel did sleep with him the night before, and so Style probably completely forgot that Fadel could dump him at any moment. In fact, he was probably confident that Fadel sleeping with him the night before and now asking about him at the market when Style failed to show up were signs that Fadel had started to develop feelings for him as well. And if Fadel has feelings for him now, then he would likely also want this, so why would Fadel ditch him? But Fadel does. Style is angry and he's hurt and he's disappointed, but Fadel's rejection hits him so much out of nowhere that I think he actually takes a while to process what has just happened and how to feel about it and how to react. Usually in situations like this, Style will put up a fight with Fadel until one of them wins, but this time around he is so stupefied that he immediately moves towards the door when Fadel shoves him towards it without firmly standing his ground and fighting Fadel about it first. Style does yell at Fadel that he won't let Fadel ditch him and when Fadel comes at him again, just for a short moment Style is about to stand his ground, but then he shoves Fadel away and leaves the kitchen angrily, instead of fighting him.
While I do think Style is hurt by Fadel's actions, I think anger and shock are his leading emotions here as he storms off. I think the hurt only really properly starts coming out and taking over once Style's shock has worn off and he's processed the situation.
No. 4: OnlyFans
The immediate shock of the situation has now worn off, Style has had a little time to process and now he's ready to fight again. There is still so much anger in Style, but now we can also see just how hurt he actually is. This is even more evident when we go back to episodes 1 and 2 where we've seen this whole thing play out before: Fadel humiliates Style in private and Style retaliates by humiliating Fadel in public. Fadel drags Style out of the diner by his feet in the privacy of the closed restaurant. Style yells at him in front of everyone at a busy market place in return. Fadel leaves Style hanging in the privacy of the diner kitchen whose only staff is Fadel himself. Style yells at him in front of every customer at the restaurant in return.
When Fadel drags Style out of the restaurant in episode 1, Style is of course angry and humiliated. And sure, it did hurt his pride, but it's mostly just that. Fadel, at this point, is mostly just some weird, grumpy dude to him that he has now been hired to hit on. Back then Style wasn't expecting that fake-out either, but it doesn't leave him as stunned as it did this time in the kitchen. In episode 1, he even tries to fight Fadel. He can't do much while he's being pulled along the floor, but as soon as Style is back on his feet he immediately starts raging at the door, pulling at the handles and banging at it. In the kitchen, Style is too stunned to put up a fight and actively runs away instead of fighting Fadel.
When Style yells at Fadel in the market place, while it comes from a place of revenge it's still something he does for show. His words are loud and dramatic and they're for everyone around them to hear more than they are for Fadel himself. It's all a public performance to Style. And the audience is everyone at the market. It's about making everyone see how "bad" of a guy Fadel is and it doesn't really matter whether Fadel is listening to his words or not as long as his words reach his true audience and they believe him. Style is clearly having fun yelling at Fadel while also using the chance to blow off some steam from his previous annoyances with Fadel. When Fadel yields, Style immediately lets it go and chills again.
When Style yells at Fadel at the diner, he's once again causing a scene in public, but this time his words are for Fadel to hear, not for the strangers around them. The fact that there's strangers around them is just a welcome bonus and I think in that moment Style doesn't even really care if any of them are actually listening in or not, as long as his words reach Fadel. Style's voice is sharp as a knife, sharper than we've ever heard it before, and every sentence he utters is a stab at Fadel. When Fadel hands him the apron and tells him to leave, Style agrees, but he speaks out a warning first ("But just keep in mind: Nobody gets to nail and bail me."). His fighting spirit has come back, and when Fadel launches a counterattack ("I'll be the first"), Style does not back down this time around like he did earlier in the kitchen. It's Fadel who walks away this time and Style reminds him that he'll continue to fight him ("A guy like Style won't back down"). It's only when he walks out of the restaurant that he turns his argument with Fadel into an actual public performance. It's only when he invites everyone at the restaurant to take pictures of him that his words are for show and for his audience to hear.
We've just watched a situation that we've seen before play out but this time around it's very different. Because this time around Fadel actually means something to Style. And this time around Style has already slept with Fadel, which also meant something to him. I'm not entirely sure Style has quite figured out what exactly it all means to him and I also don't think he's head over heels in love with Fadel yet, but he sure is starting to have many emotions. While Style was also enraged back in episode 1 after Fadel dragged him out of the diner, his anger has leveled up now because this time around, underneath all of that anger, Style is also very hurt. They were starting to make progress and Style even got to celebrate small victories along the way (Fadel making him a burger, Fadel actually sleeping with him, Fadel asking about his whereabouts). Style was starting to get somewhere with Fadel, was slowly starting to develop some feelings of his own for Fadel, and Fadel just goes and kicks down Style's sandcastle. What's more, Style has made it very clear to Fadel how he feels about getting nailed and bailed, and then Fadel just goes and does it on purpose.
Style is so angry and hurt that this time around just one public yelling isn't enough. This time he goes for round 2.
No. 5: A Ruined Man
Style is back at the support group. This time it's not to find out more about Fadel's backstory, this time he is here because he has a message for Fadel. And this time Style's distress isn't cringe, because this time the situation is serious to him. He is seriously angry, and he is seriously hurt, and it's important to him that Fadel is fully aware of it, aware of what he's done to Style.
"When you like someone, and they only think of you as a toy, something they can break, they don't even know how deep they have cut you."
Oh, Style. I hope you don't end up eating your own words later when Fadel finds out why exactly you were hitting on him and trying to get him to fall for you in the first place.
No. 6: Are These Systoms of Being Pregarnt?
This time Fadel is so done with Style that he drags him away in front of everyone else instead of waiting until no one is around. And Style is finally able to have somewhat of a civil conversation with Fadel again. While he is still angry at Fadel since they still haven't cleared up their quarrel, he is no longer outright yelling at him or attacking Fadel with his words like he was at the diner or in the group meeting just now. The tone of his voice is softer and also his dramatic flair is back when he goes on and on about how he might as well be pregnant. And we also learn what exactly it is that Style wants from Fadel: "You slept with me, so take responsibility for it."
I've already talked at length about why I think Style isn't one for casual, no strings attached one-night stands in my ep3 meta, and Style's words here highlight this once again. The storage room sex mattered to Style. And I don't think it mattered to him because it was a step closer to fulfilling the mission he's been sent on and a step closer to getting the car of his dreams.
If you've read my ep3 meta, you'll know that I mention a couple of times that Style is developing "positive feelings" for Fadel. Phrasing it like this rather than phrasing it as "romantic feelings" or "starting to like" was a very deliberate decision. Because I don't think Style was quite there yet in episode 3. He still had many other ulterior motivations and intentions going on, be it Kant's "hit on Fadel so I can get to Bison" mission that Style gets a car out of or Style being nosy about Fadel's lore. If you remember, at the beginning of this meta when Style woke up with a boner I said Style may have a bit of a problem now. The problem is his own feelings – this whole episode hasn't been about Kant's mission or the car anymore (or about Style finding out Fadel's backstory). Instead, this whole episode we've been exploring Style's real feelings, his own desires. Style has started to care when it comes to Fadel, has started to genuinely want him. Style is starting to genuinely like Fadel now. He even lets it slip during the support group meeting:
"When you like someone, and they only think of you as a toy, something they can break, they don’t even know how deep they have cut you."
And yes, one could argue that he's been saying he likes Fadel ever since Kant set him on Fadel and that Style, in fact, has said he likes Fadel many, many times before, so this is nothing out of the ordinary. But I think this time it is in fact different. I think this time he means it. Because if it was just a lie, if those were just empty words, then Fadel dumping him in the kitchen wouldn't have hurt so much. And at this point, I think Style's hurt isn't only about being dumped in the kitchen, but also about being ditched in the storage room. Style may have said he won't hold what happened back then against Fadel, but maybe deep down he does. Because the storage room sex mattered to him and at this point of the episode maybe it matters to him even more so now than at the beginning of the episode or at the end of episode 3. Not to mention, he really doesn't like getting nailed and bailed. You slept with me, so take responsibility for it.
No. 7: I Hate the Way I Don't Hate You. Not Even a Little Bit. Not Even at All.
"You're not killing me or anything like that, right?" Style says as they're walking out of their last scene and Fadel promptly takes him out to the woods into an abandoned greenhouse. They still haven't cleared anything up between the two of them and Style is still kinda angry, which is why I think that when he says "Are we doing it outdoors? Your taste sure surprises me" he says it mostly to piss Fadel off, not because he wants to flirt or actually do it with him in that moment (oh but just you wait another few minutes 🤭🤭🤭).
Fadel once again just wordlessly walks away from Style. Instead of following him, Style stays back at the car, kinda annoyed. We don't know how long exactly Style was waiting, but either way, I think he does lowkey start to get freaked out a little. He wants to go home and starts looking for Fadel.
"I know you're gonna kill me and hide my body in the woods." Oh Style, sweetie, no. Careful with your words. Apollo's ball of prophecy and all that. Right after that, we get yet another reference to Style not being scared of Fadel. When he enters the greenhouse, searching for Fadel while monologuing, he shouts: "But I ain't scared of you!" And his lack of fear is not just reflected only in his words, but the way he walks is also too relaxed and casual for a scared person. By the way, fun fact, in Thai he actually phrases it as:
You think I'm scared of you?
มึงคิดว่ากูกลัวมึงหรอ
[mueng - kít wâa - guu - gluua - mueng - rŏr]
you - think that - I - scared (of) - you - [?]
It is night-time, Style walks along dark aisles in search of Fadel who ran away from him and is currently nowhere to be seen when suddenly out of nowhere Fadel appears, shoves him into some furniture (ish) and angrily yells into his face: "Who sent you?" Oh, wait, wrong episode.
User @secriden wrote an excellent post detailing the parallels between the ep3 storage room scene and the ep4 forest scene, but I actually think that the beginning of the scene is much closer to a different scene that we saw in episode 2: the locker room scene. It's interesting because this is the third time this episode calls back to the first two episodes. It starts with the parallel of Fadel's fake-out, then we had the parallel of Style publicly humiliating Fadel, and now we have a call-back to the locker room scene, which will soon turn into a parallel of the storage room hook-up. The parallels do be paralleling this episode.
In the locker room, it was Style who dropped a "love confession": "I like you. I liked you the moment I crashed into you that night. It was love at first sight. So damn romantic. Straight out of a movie." But now in the greenhouse it's Fadel's turn. Fadel ambushes Style, shoves him against the bars and starts raging. Fadel has yelled at Style a lot over the past few episodes. He yells at Style to reprimand him, to shoot down his advances, or to tell him to piss off. When Fadel yells at Style, it's all about his feelings of disdain he has for Style. So when Fadel says "I don't like you messing up my life. My life has been planned out. You're disrupting it," Style sighs a little resigned sigh and braces himself for yet another fight against Fadel:
But then Fadel goes off-script. "I don't like myself when I look for you on the morning jog or at the market. I don't like waiting to see if you'd show up at my restaurant or my go-to club. You— I don't like you being in my life and changing it."
This is a new one. Style listens intently.
Fadel continues. "I don't like feeling like this." Style has all his focus entirely on Fadel and his words now. He squeezes his eyes just the tiniest bit. And I think this is where Style starts to figure out the core of Fadel's problem.
"I don't like it!", Fadel yells and Style looks at him with so much resolution and with so much understanding.
And then Fadel drops: "I don't like that I miss you."
Fun fact about the word คิดถึง [kít-tĕung]: apart from "to miss", it can also have the meaning of "to think of, to think about". So another possible interpretation and underlying meaning of this line is "I don't like that I think about you."
Something vital that I want to bring up at this point now is something that @secriden has pointed out in her meta:
It's incredibly important that Style waited at this point. Style, who talks endlessly and without thought. Style, who demands that his story and his thoughts are aired first. Style, who has been telling Fadel this lie time and time again before Fadel’s feelings made it true... Stops. Waits. Stays silent. Because Fadel had to get there himself or not at all.
And get there, Fadel did. Fadel has just spilled that he thinks about Style, that he misses him. That Style's efforts have been worth it. That Fadel has started caring the way Style has started to care. Style looks at Fadel, takes it all in.
Style finally understands Fadel's problem, finally understands why Fadel has been acting the way he's been acting.
When Style kisses Fadel, there is so much purpose, so much intent to it. Style has something to say, something important, and every single thing on his mind, every single emotion, he puts it all into that kiss. And what he has to say is:
Yes. The caption in the gif is different from the official English subtitles. Because Style literally says:
It's okay to be in love.
มันโอเคนะเว้ย ที่จะมีความรักอ่ะ
[man - oh-keh - ná wóiie • thêe - jà - mee kwaam rák - àh]
it - okay - [particle] • that - will - be in love - [particle]
And this is a distinction that is important to me personally. Phrasing it as "It's okay to be in love" is by far more specific than "It's okay to love" and I think this particular word choice hits Fadel harder as well. Fadel likes control, he likes knowing exactly what's going on at any given moment. But then Style shows up as a whirlwind in his life, bringing disorder to everything. Fadel is starting to develop feelings that he can't control and it freaks him out.
When Style kissed Fadel in the locker room it was an attack in the battle he was fighting against him. When Style kisses Fadel in the greenhouse, it's for reassurance. Style puts everything he wants to say with "It's okay to be in love" into that kiss. It's okay to let go. It's okay to let things take their natural course. It's okay to be in love. You're allowed to have feelings. It's not a bad thing. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay.
And with this we go into the parallels to the storage room scene. If you remember my ep3 meta, then you'll remember how I said that Style didn't really mean it at the time when he said he wanted Fadel right before they hook up. This time he didn't say a single word about it, but his actions show that he does want Fadel this time. Once again I'm gonna steal a thought from @clemelntine's meta:
[Style] isn't entirely giving in/passive in the situation, though. He still has a hands on Fadel holding him close/in place, and does seem to want to touch him. No matter how much he wants Fadel to service him, he isn't gonna let him do it all on his own. He too wants to explore Fadel as well.
We can really see that this time around. Unlike in the storage room, Style has his hands all over the place: on Fadel's throat, underneath Fadel's shirt, in Fadel's pants, pulling Fadel closer with his arm around Fadel's neck. What's more, there's significantly more eye contact. Fadel actually looks Style in the eye now. It's still not as much and as intense as in Style's fantasy, because they're still not quite there yet emotionally, but it's a start. They've both started to develop some actual feelings, and this time around they're also both aware of it. Of their own feelings as well as the other's feelings. Where last time they were acting purely on physical attraction, they're much more emotionally involved this time around. Emotionally they're much more on the same page this time around. And it's beautiful.
Also, I haven't seen anyone talk about this yet, but we are all aware that they show us pretty much the entire act from start to, uhhh well, finish, right? Right?? 🫣
No. 8: Be My Boyfriend
Not for the first time Style says he wants Fadel as a boyfriend. Unlike the other times though, Style actually means it this time around. His words are no longer for show, no longer a performance that will be rewarded with Kant's gratitude and his car. Style is being 100% serious about being Fadel's boyfriend. The car is more of an afterthought (and one that he will get to, because a deal is a deal, and he's been in love with the car much longer than he's had any positive feelings for Fadel for, but still. Right there in the woods, I think the car isn't really on his mind at the time).
Style means every flirty thing he says. He means it when he says "You're mysterious and alluring. You're quiet, but sexy as hell". If you remember, during the kitchen scene I mentioned that Style wasn't as loud in the flirty things he said, and we can really see that in the aforementioned line and also when he says "[Having a boyfriend is] great. You have someone to embrace, to love, and to…" These lines are much less loud and less performative than compared to everything that came out of his mouth in ep3 on the sports field.
By the way, I need you all to know that this exchange:
F: I'll stick with jerking off.
S: I'm sure.
Actually goes:
F: I can jerk off by myself.
กูชักว่าวอยู่เองได้
[guu - chák wâao - yùu - eng - dâai]
I - masturbate - be - (by) oneself/myself - be able to
S: I know you can do it yourself.
รู้ว่ามึงทำเองได้
[rúu wâa - mueng - tam - eng - dâai]
know that - you - do - (by) oneself/yourself - be able to
And where did we get a similar exchange before? That's right. In that very scene at the sports field that I just mentioned:
F: If you want it that much, then go jerk off.
ถ้าอยากมากเนี่ยก็ไปชักว่าวไป
[tâa - yàak - mâak - nîia - gôr - bpai - chák wâao - bpai]
if - want - much - [particle] - then - go - masturbate - go
Official subs: Go jerk off if it bothers you so much.
S: I know it can be done alone.
รู้มันทำคนเดียวได้
[rúu - man - tam - kon diiao - dâai]
know - it - do - alone - be able to
Official subs: I know I can do it alone.
The words they say are similar, and yet these two exchanges are very different from one another. Just like in the kitchen, Style's flirting in the woods is much more grounded. It's not the same performance as it was in episode 3. And just as I said in my ep3 meta, it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, not when he's putting up a show:
The inauthenticity in [Style's] insistent approach is what makes him annoying in those scenes [the running track and the market]. And it's also not what works on Fadel – it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, like when he was helping him wait tables (which Fadel recognizes by rewarding him with a burger) or when Style was being playfully flirty in the sauna (which results in Fadel fantasizing about him at night).
What's interesting, though, is that even though this is the very first time Fadel actually engages in Style's friendly banter and amiable conversation instead of ignoring him or yelling at him or telling him to piss off, at the beginning of the conversation Style doesn't have Fadel quite just yet. Actually, no. That's not accurate. Style is being genuine, has been genuine all episode already and so he does reach Fadel in the beginning of their conversation. Fadel is finally engaging, is finally getting involved. But then Style loses him again at a certain point. And it's specifically when he says: "But isn't it better to have someone like me with you?" Up until this very point, Fadel was mostly turned towards Style. He's smiled, he's laughed, he's rolled his eyes in amusement and he's actively taken part in Style's conversation. He's been more open with Style than he's ever been before. But now? He stares at Style for a moment, then turns away from him, closing himself off from Style again.
And it's interesting that this is happening at this specific point, because their entire conversation has mostly surrounded sex (adjacent) things and physical attraction. They literally start this conversation referencing their hook-up from right before, Style calls Fadel sexy, and then alludes that he wants to sleep with him again. And I think by the time Style says "I know you can [jerk off] by yourself. But isn't it better to have someone like me with you?" Fadel is at a point where he's like Oh, so you only want to be my boyfriend just so you can do me again, huh? So this is all I am to you, huh?
Fadel isn't cool with that and so he starts to shut himself off from Style again. Style is rejected again. Style turns his head away from Fadel, sighs, raises his eyebrows, and I think he realizes (at least subconsciously) what Fadel is unhappy about, because the next thing he says the moment he has turned back to Fadel is: "What you said to me just now... I feel the same way." And again, he's being sincere. His voice is calm and grounded, there's not a single trace of his dramatic antics. And that line coupled with that sincerity has Fadel listening up again:
"Be my boyfriend," Style says and Fadel listens even more closely. "Give me a chance," Style says and Fadel looks away, laughs, and replies "You don't even know me". Fadel's words are a challenge, but this time there is no malice, no anger, no annoyance in his voice. His voice is soft. Fadel poses a challenge, but it's not an invitation to fight. Or rather, it is an invitation to fight, but it's a very different fight from before. And Style is only happy to take up said challenge: "And what about it? I'll learn more about you when you're my boyfriend."
And for what he says next, I'd love to share a more literal translation with you again. In the English subs Style talks about being 100% in and it being Fadel's turn to let him in, which, yeah, it's the gist of it. However, in Thai he uses the word เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] again, which I've already talked about in my ep3 meta because Style has used that word before during that scene where Fadel hands him the burger. The day after posting that meta, I actually asked my Thai teacher about this word in class (and nearly died in the process) because I hadn't discussed this word with a native speaker for my meta and while I had discussed this word with my Thai language learning buddy after he brought it up when I was trying to explain the German phrase "sich einlassen auf" (@ German speakers: เปิดใจ is very similar to that!), I just couldn't remember it well and wanted to double check just in case. According to my teacher, it's a word that is used to talk about opening up to something or about giving things a chance, but the literal translation is "to open one's heart" (เปิด [bpèrt] = to open / ใจ [jai] = heart, mind) and I think the series makes use of that literal meaning for a nice metaphor/image here. I think Style's choice of words is very deliberate:
I've opened my heart to you 100% already.
กูเปิดใจให้มึงร้อยเปอร์เซนต์แล้วนะ
[guu - bpèrt-jai - hâi - mueng - rói - bper-sen - láew - ná]
I - open up (one's heart) - for, to - you - 100 - percent - already - [particle]
Only you remain.
เหลือแค่มึงอ่ะ
[lĕuua - kâe - mueng - àh]
remain, left - only - you - [particle]
How much will you open your heart to me?
จะเปิดใจให้กูมากแค่ไหน
[jà - bpèrt-jai - hâi - guu - mâak kâe năi]
will - open up (one's heart) - to, for - I/me - how much
Fadel, who has enclosed his heart in thick, high walls, is being asked how many doors leading up to it he is willing to open. Style subtly reminds Fadel that a relationship consists of two people, but leaves the decision of just how close Fadel will let Style get to his heart entirely up to Fadel. Because that's Fadel's choice to make.
While Style is talking, Fadel is listening intently, really taking in Style's words and contemplating them:
He's quiet for a moment after Style is done telling him You have full access to my heart now. I'm willing to give you a chance. I've done my part. The decision is on you now. Will you grant me access to your heart, too? Will you give me a chance as well?
Fadel thinks about it for a bit more, then laughs a small laugh, throws his head back, and goes "Yeah. Fine." Style is confused. Fadel then explicitly agrees to be his boyfriend. Style's eyes widen. He can't believe his ears. He has to ask for confirmation, has to make sure he really heard it right:
We're boyfriends, right?
เป็นแฟนกันใช่มั้ย
[bpen - faen - gan - châi mái]
be - boyfriend, girlfriend - each other, together - right?
Fadel confirms. Style is absolutely over the moon and showers Fadel in kisses.
Do I think they're already in love? Not exactly. Unfortunately, I just don't have the time to look at Fadel as closely as I have been looking at Style (I need 48h days fr 😭😭) but when it comes to Style, I think even if he's not in love just yet, this is the start of something real. We saw in episode 3 that he was starting to develop positive feelings towards Fadel, was starting to genuinely have a good time hanging around Fadel, but he still had ulterior motives in the foreground of his mind. I think when he hooked up with Fadel in the storage room that kicked off something within him because, as I've made very clear in my ep3 meta, to Style sex isn't just sex. Because if it was, his journey this episode would have been going very differently. But throughout this entire episode Style has cared, he has cared so much to the point he's gotten really hurt. And his joy when Fadel agrees to be his boyfriend? That's real. And I don't think it's because he's about to receive the car of his dreams as a reward. If it was, I think Style would have been much more smug about Fadel agreeing to be his boyfriend, would have been much more self-satisfied underneath all that happiness. But Style's joy here is pure. And he doesn't brag about finally "winning" Fadel over, doesn't hold it over his head in a smug HAH, you gave in to me, I'm the one who won our battle of wills, look how cool I am sort of way. Style's joy is real, but what he's feeling is not quite love at this point. But so what if they're not in love just yet? Like Style said: They can get to know each other fall in love when they're boyfriends. And fall in love they will.
No. 8: Apollo's Ball Of Prophecy Is Real
Remember how a couple of paragraphs ago I said the car was just an afterthought, that Style would still get to? Well, he's getting to it now. He shows up at Kant's place and "When should I come and get your car?" is the first thing out of his mouth right after his hellos. Kant reminds Style of their deal and asks if Fadel has agreed to be Style's boyfriend. Style says "yes", shining brightly as the sun as he says this. And the way he shines while dropping this info to Kant makes me once again think that his happiness here is more focused on Fadel rather than the car. Style is a little smug now, but it's mostly before Kant mentions the words "Fadel" and "faen" together in one single sentence (yes, I had to go with the Thai word for boyfriend just for the alliteration lol). When Style says yes, Fadel is in fact his boyfriend now, the subtext I'm hearing is not something along the lines of Yeah, I finally got him, so where's my beloved car at, bro, we had a deal???? but what I'm hearing is more like Yes!! He is!! Can you believe!! Fadel is my BOYFRIEND!! Omg!! I did it!! Just like we'll see in the flashback to the "be my boyfriend" scene right after, there is something rather pure about Style's complete and utter joy at the thought of Fadel being his boyfriend.
Style relays the "be my boyfriend" conversation to Kant and it's only after that that Style really starts bragging: "Your best friend is a genius, isn't he? I told you I can get anyone." And yeah, undeniably this is about the fact that he's getting a car out of it, but I also think that he would have bragged about it even if the deal with the car didn't exist. Kant and Style seem to have the sort of friendship where they always brag to each other about their love lives. We were shown this in episode 1 when Kant goes to see Style at the garage and Style immediately asks for the tea on his night with Bison, pretty much begging Kant to brag about it when Kant tries to change the topic to something else. Style would have bragged about Fadel to Kant no matter what. Besides, why wouldn't he go get the car, despite actual feelings being involved now? A deal is a deal, and if he can get the car of his dreams and the boyfriend of his dreams out of it, that's even better. Best of both worlds. Who wouldn't say no to that?
But Style's happiness gets smacked right out of him via Apollo's ball of prophecy as he learns that he should really be very careful what he jokes about. He almost spoke Fadel taking him out to the woods to kill him into existence. Fadel is a hitman. Style's panic gets the better of him. He has seen, felt on his own body even, what Fadel is capable of. He doesn't like Fadel that much yet, so he's outta there before he gets to experience first hand the real depths of what Fadel can be capable of if Style gets too annoying. Car be damned. Style may be unhinged but he isn't suicidal.
Kant, however, manages to talk Style into helping him and staying with Fadel anyway. Now, you could say Style is unhinged for agreeing to help Kant instead of firmly refusing his request and getting out of this mess before it gets worse, but I think in that moment Style is genuinely afraid that Fadel WILL kill him if Style breaks up with him, breaks his heart right after Fadel has finally, finally given him closer access to it. And Style has had to work very hard for said access, so he knows very well how big that decision was for Fadel to entrust Style with just a little bit of his heart. And if Style then in the very next moment goes and breaks that little bit of Fadel's heart that he was given? That's a death sentence on Style's head right there. Or so Style assumes.
And another reason why I think Style agrees to continue working for Kant's mission is that Style likes to help. I've already touched on this in my ep3 meta:
Style likes to help. We see this in the way he agrees to help his best friend by hitting on some weirdo guy (yes, of course he's also getting a car out of this deal, but I think part of the reason why he agrees to the deal is also because he genuinely wants to help Kant find love), we see this in the way he immediately takes orders from customers no questions asked in episode 2 right before he meets Bison, and we'll see this even later this episode [ep3] when he throws himself into the fight despite having no fighting skills whatsoever, just because he thinks three against one is unfair and wants to help.
Helping people is something that comes easy to Style, something he doesn't really have to think about, and so when Kant practically begs him to help, Style can't do anything but agree to help Kant, because not helping would go entirely against the nature of his character. Also, who could resist First's puppy eyes? Valid, absolutely valid. I, too, would fold like thin paper if First looked at me like That.
No. 9: Over Your Limit
Style is at the gym, probably in an attempt to work off some of the overwhelming emotions that Kant's reveal has left him with. What's interesting is, as @secriden noted, that Style decided to go there during daytime. From episode 2, both we, the audience, as well as Style know that Fadel likes to go to the gym specifically at night to avoid crowds. It's probably safe to assume that Style went there specifically during the day in order to avoid Fadel.
So Style sits there, lost in his memories, recontextualizing everything that happened at the greenhouse, processing Kant's news, rethinking his decision. Unfortunately for him, he's already made his choice the moment he agreed to help Kant, and so in the end Style goes Fuck it, I'm doing this.
Unexpectedly, Fadel shows up. Style hadn't been mentally prepared for that and despite his fuck it attitude just mere seconds ago (17 seconds, to be exact), his instincts kick in and he panics. Everything within him is screaming at him get away from this man, your life is in danger and so Style immediately rejects Fadel's offer for help: "I can't do it anyway. I was pushing my limits."
Style is pushing his limits. Hitting on a guy? Sure, that's fine. Making him his boyfriend, despite said guy having walls as thick as the Great Wall of China? A little challenge, but nothing Style can't handle. But dating someone who is a professional killer, someone who is capable of taking lives and might very well be capable of taking his own boyfriend's life if need may be? That really is pushing any limit Style could ever have even as much as dreamed of. He can't do it.
But despite every instinct within Style telling him to run away, Style doesn't, because that would be suspicious and Style can't risk Fadel getting suspicious, because that would seal his deathly fate even quicker. So Style hesitantly leans back and lets Fadel help him. And here at this point, I just wanna give a little shout out to Style raising his eyebrows and sighing a little after they're done, like whew, I survived that, I'm still alive, because it makes me giggle:
When Fadel alludes to wanting to have sex, Style plays dumb. Style has used this strategy before when he wanted to find out the connection between Fadel and the host club, but where in ep3 Style was playing dumb in order to gain Fadel's trust, here at the gym Style is playing dumb in order to delay having to get close to Fadel again (much less sleeping with him) while he figures out a way to get out of it. When Fadel cuddles up to him, it's the last straw. Style's panic takes over for good and he makes an escape. But then Fadel calls out to him, asking him to wait. Shit. Style's fight for his life is not yet over. Style stops, trying not to be suspicious or to do anything else that would give Fadel a motive to kill him.
Fadel walks up to him and wipes the sweat off his face. Where before Fadel's touch has recently been making Style feel very good, it now feels very threatening instead. Yet, at the same time it's also a kind and caring gesture, which is something that isn't lost on Style.
Style very much notices the care in Fadel's action, but his new perspective on Fadel makes it hard for him to embrace and appreciate the kindness of it. And the kindness and care also contradicts the image of the ruthless killer Style now has in his mind of Fadel. These two contrasting aspects simply do not go together. Unable to cope, Style runs off.
The Attempt of a Conclusion
Where Style had just a little bit of a problem at the beginning of the episode, by the end of the episode that problem has grown much larger than he could have ever anticipated. Over the course of episode 3 we saw that Style was slowly starting to develop some positive feelings for Fadel, was slowly starting to actively enjoy hanging out around him, was starting to get curious about Fadel of his own accord and not for motives connected to the deal. Yet, the deal was still very much always there. In episode 4, however? Style might not have entirely realized it yet, but that deal is no longer relevant to him. Not showing up to the morning jogging or at the market might still have been a planned strategy in the mission Kant gave him, but that mission goes right out the window the moment he hears that Fadel had asked about him. When Style goes running to Fadel the second he is told that Fadel had asked about him when actually Style could and probably should have played his game a little longer, really letting Fadel stew, from that moment onward it's all about Style's own feelings rather than the car. And everything he does this episode is led by those feelings. Over the course of this episode we see that Style has genuinely started to like Fadel. And he had to. He had to start liking Fadel before learning about Fadel's real job. Because the higher you are, the further you fall and Style accidentally having caught feelings makes the drop down worse, for both Style, the character as well as us, the audience. Style genuinely likes Fadel now, and if that wasn't enough of a problem already, the man he likes turns out to be a professional killer.
I really wanted to drop this before Episode 4, but the thing is I really really really struggled with this episode. The first two episodes were very clear to me, so clear even that I managed to binge-write my first post within a single night after having spent the previous night rewatching the episodes and taking notes. I kept asking myself the question "Style does this and acts like this, but why?" and quickly found my answers. But looking at episode 3? I really struggled with the "but why".
But let's get into it anyway. Not that I finish this post only when the final episode drops lol.
~~~ Spoiler warning for episode 4 ~~~
Pronoun situation: In my first meta post I kept up with their pronoun use on a scene by scene basis. This time I won't do that, because Fadel and Style consistently use the rude guu/mueng pronouns for each other throughout the entire episode without any significant pronoun changes.
To recap: when we last saw Fadel and Style together in episode 2, Fadel ambushed Style in the locker room and basically declared war on Style. Style launched counterattacks. They did not part on the best of terms.
No. 1: RAWR
The very first sequence at the heavy metal bar is where my first problem already arises: I am undecided on whether Style went there on purpose to find Fadel or if he went there of his own accord to have fun and just happened to run into Fadel completely by chance. Because you could make arguments both FOR and AGAINST Style showing up specifically for Fadel.
AGAINST: Style does look kinda surprised when walks up to Fadel. When they're chatting by the counter, Style says he's here all the time (which is something he doesn't say about the running track or the gym – two spots that we know he only went to for Fadel). We also don't get to see Style looking at the notebook like we do before he bugs Fadel at the running track for the first time or later in the episode when he shows up at the support group meeting. What's more, Style doesn't really attempt to stick to Fadel no matter what until Fadel either physically gets rid of him or just walks away. Instead Style leaves of his own accord to have fun with people who aren't Fadel and also seems perfectly content to do so.
FOR: When Kant looks through the notebook in ep2 after Bison hands it to him we can see that the bar is in there. So Style should know this bar is one of Fadel's go-to spots. Style could be feigning surprise when he walks up to Fadel to make it look like a chance meeting and he could also be lying about being there all the time.
Whether or not Style came to the bar in order to seek out Fadel specifically or not, when he walks up to Fadel and sits down next to him it's all in a friendly manner. His behavior has an air of oh hey there person that I know, let me say hello! to it.
Style is once again trying to involve Fadel in an amiable conversation despite their confrontation last time they saw each other. Or maybe he's trying to involve Fadel in an amiable conversation because of the confrontation last time they saw each other. Style's friendly approach makes it clear that he's not holding any grudges about it. Fadel is not up for a friendly conversation, though. In the scene by the counter he says a total amount of two sentences to Style (or even just one, if you don't count the "no" as a single sentence). Style tries to get Fadel to socialize, to get Fadel to come out of his grumpy shell and go dance with him a little bit, to loosen up and scream a little bit. Fadel won't budge. So Style gives him his space and walks off, but not without inviting Fadel to follow him just in case Fadel miraculously changes his mind. After Style clinks bottles with his (new?) friends he looks back at Fadel and nods at him before getting busy with his friends.
I want to talk about that nod for a quick moment. Because as an introvert who tends to be quiet and shy in a crowd (especially a crowd of strangers or people I don't know well) I have my fair share of experience of being alone in a crowd. And I adore that Style is making contact with Fadel again, even though he already walked away and their conversation is actually over. As I've mentioned in some tags before, some of Style's core personality traits really remind me of a dear old friend of mine. We had a time in our late (ish) teens where we'd hang out at our youth leader's flat pretty much every single day. My friend and my youth leader would often play Magic: The Gathering, which is something that's really not my thing and so I'd be "left out", that is I'd be chilling next to them doing my own thing or just watching them play, not understanding shit. They'd be in the middle of a game and my friend would sometimes randomly look up and nod at me or he would pull faces at me or do some other random shit to communicate with me for a second before focusing back on the game. These small gestures were something I always really appreciated, because they made me feel included, even though I had no interest in the game and couldn't really be part of it. The way Style nods at Fadel reminds me of that. He's making contact with Fadel across the room, involving him, including him. It's a nod kind of like Hey, I see you. And yeah, Fadel doesn't really want to be seen, except deep down maybe he does.
Which brings me to the choking scene. Style is having fun with his friends (or random people he just met??). He spots Fadel, excuses himself and walks over. Almost as if he saw Fadel standing there all on his own and decided to talk to him because "You're supposed to have fun with your friends at a place like this". As if he doesn't want Fadel to be all alone. So he walks up to him and starts another conversation. We get another confirmation that Style isn't holding any grudges about their confrontation in the locker room, because he actively teases Fadel about it. I'm not even sure Style is purposefully being flirty here, I think he really is going more for a playful callback to the locker room confrontation, mixed with a challenge of "So? Are you gonna go rough on me again? I dare you to do it again!"
What's more, I think at this point his brain is set to I must hit on him, so I must drop flirty shit whenever possible. So when he says Fadel looks sexy, while there sure is some truth to it and he certainly finds Fadel sexy in general, I don't think he really 100% means it in that specific moment. It's almost more as if he's saying it out of habit, just for the sake of dropping flirty shit and compliments at any given opportunity.
All in all, that night at the bar Style isn't really being annoying or flirting with Fadel on purpose. He spends the night trying to make friends with Fadel again, trying to make amiable conversation, trying to involve him in friendly banter, trying to genuinely connect with him. As if to get Fadel to open up and come out of the shell that he has so deeply buried himself in. And I think what this interaction also shows is that Style is starting to have positive feelings towards Fadel. It's the beginning of Style genuinely liking Fadel more than he dislikes him. Style is slowly starting to worry and to care about him.
No. 2: The Best Way to Burn Calories
Now for this scene we know for a fact Style is here for Fadel specifically. Once again, Style blurts out flirty shit and once again it doesn't sound entirely genuine as if he actually means what he says. Kant has sent him on a mission to hit on Fadel, but Style still hasn't quite figured out how to get through to him. Fadel continuously ignores or even blocks Style's attempts to make friends with him or to genuinely connect to him and the flirting also doesn't seem to be working. (Oh, Style. If only you knew just how well your genuine flirting at the gym worked on Fadel 🤭)
Style knows very well that Fadel is annoyed by him (Fadel even explicitly tells him that it's a bad morning if he sees Style). And I think at this point Style has decided that if he can't be a positive presence in Fadel's life he'll simply just be a negative presence then. Since that will still bring him closer to his goal than being no presence in Fadel's life at all would bring him. So he just shows up, bugs Fadel to remind him of his (Style's, that is) existence and also drops flirty shit at any given opportunity while he's at it regardless of whether in that moment he genuinely means what he says or not. And while I'm sure there is some truth behind Style's words, I think a lot of the flirting really is more of a routine now, a habit. Since that is what he was hired to do after all.
Side quest: Body and Heart
One thing this scene touches on is that Style definitely isn't in it just for sex alone but that he desires an emotional component as well: he explicitly says he wants Fadel's body AND his heart. As I said, I don't think Style really meant the flirting here, but I do think there is some truth to his words, namely his desire to not just have meaningless sex but to also be in love.
I think, unlike Kant, Style actually isn't too big on casual one-night stands. I think he enjoys flirting around, because Style is an attention hoe, but if I had to guess I would say most of the time he doesn't end up actually sleeping with anyone. Style is charming and I think he has a lot of fun with flirty banter. And he definitely loves the attention: in episode 1 he clearly enjoys it when the girls are admiring his waist that he proudly shows off at the bowling alley, in episode 2 he gives Fadel permission to look at his naked body, and then later in episode 3 he also looks very happy and satisfied after those girls call him "hot" when he's dropping of the car keys at the host club.
Style loves the attention, he enjoys the flirty banter, but I think sleeping around no strings attached isn't truly his kind of thing. We get another hint of this in episode 1 when Kant claims "[Y]ou’re in no position to call me out when you’ve been playing around just the same". Style replies "I don’t know what you’re talking about" in a disapproving tone and with a skeptical face.
In fact, in Thai he says:
อะไรของมึงว่ะ
[àrai - kŏng - mueng - wâ]
what - of - you - [rude particle]
I haven't checked this phrase back with a native speaker yet, but I've often heard it in the sense of Wtf is your problem? or Wtf is up with you? or Wtf are you talking about? To me, the English subs sound almost more like Style is deflecting Kant's statement while in Thai to me it feels like Style is actively disagreeing with Kant's words (feel free to correct me on this if I'm wrong @happypotato48 🙏).
Like, Style clearly doesn't approve of Kant's accusations and immediately goes attention seeking to highlight that that is what he's all about:
Going with the crop top shot specifically because I'm SURE some of you will really appreciate it lol
The literal translation of what he says here is actually more like "I'm just checking my rating":
Style wants eyes on him, not hands, and he wants to be rated the hottest person in town by everyone who takes just one single look at him, thank you very much.
What's more, right before this exchange he also tells Kant to quit his one-night stands and get a real lover, so we know Style is very much team "having a boyfriend is a good thing". Style not being too big on meaningless one-night stands will also be reflected later in episode 3 when Style tells Fadel "What kind of man do you take me for? I might look like I play around, but I'm damn devoted to love. I want to date*" when he complains about Fadel ditching him right after their hook-up and will also be reflected in episode 4 when Style tells Fadel "I'm not just anyone. I need clarity" when Fadel points out "Some people [have sex] countless times and never called it anything" after Style asks what their relationship is now that they've hooked up twice. We see it also in the way how enraged and genuinely hurt Style is in episode 4 after the stunt Fadel pulls in the kitchen. For Style, sex isn't just sex and I think as impulsive as he can be he still makes very deliberate decisions about who he actually sleeps with.
Kant may claim Style plays around just like Kant does, but the thing is that night at the bowling alley? It's Kant who finds himself someone to spend a fun night with while we see Style leaving the bowling alley all by himself without his own hook-up. You could even make arguments about how Style doesn't actually like doing the pursuing and much rather prefers to be pursued. But more on that later.
*(Actually, literally he doesn't say "I want to date" but "I want a faen" -> confirming once again Style is Team Steady Boyfriend)
No. 3: Sweet Meat
Just like in the scene at the sports field right beforehand, Style continues to be an annoying presence in Fadel's life if he can't manage to be a positive presence. For this scene he even turns up his annoyingness level a little more than at the running track. What's very interesting here compared to the meat stall scene from episode 2 is that here in episode 3? Style doesn't give a shit that Fadel turns away and walks off without buying anything. In episode 2 he was very quick to yield in order to keep Fadel from running away, but this time around Style doesn't care that Fadel just ditches him. When Fadel has gone, Style immediately hurries after him. He's already got his next move planned.
No. 4: Burger Burger Burger Burger
I think Style tries out a different strategy here: maybe if he helps Fadel, Fadel will finally soften up to him. What's also interesting is that every word out of Style's mouth suddenly sounds a lot more genuine now compared to what he was spouting at the running track or at the market earlier that day. And I think it's because he (thinks he) is helping Fadel.
Style likes to help. We see this in the way he agrees to help his best friend by hitting on some weirdo guy (yes, of course he's also getting a car out of this deal, but I think part of the reason why he agrees to the deal is also because he genuinely wants to help Kant find love), we see this in episode 2 in the way he immediately takes orders from customers no questions asked right before he meets Bison, and we'll see this even later this episode when he throws himself into the fight despite having no fighting skills whatsoever, just because he thinks three against one is unfair and wants to help.
And if we go back to the thought that maybe, just maybe, Style actually doesn't like to pursue others then it's no surprise that his words here suddenly sound a lot more genuine now that he (thinks he) is helping Fadel compared to his half-assed attempts at flirting earlier that day on the sports field and at the market. Helping people is Style's thing. He's back in his comfort zone which means now he can be much more sincere in his words and his actions again, because there is less of a need to pretend to be a type of person that he just simply is not.
Which also results in Style being much more playful again rather than annoying. For example, when he calls Fadel a "good-looking chef" and shoves him with his gigantic burger bun. Or when he teases Fadel about being shy. Or when he asks Fadel "You hungry?" after they end up on the ground. This time I actually believe Style's words. Where the flirting at the running track and the teasing at the market felt more like a task where Style was mostly just saying words to get the job done, now that he's back in his comfort zone it sounds like he actually means everything he says again.
There is also some sort of sincerity to Style's desire to help. Fadel, however, does not want Style's help and tries to send him away. Style reminds him that Fadel should probably be making burgers instead of wasting time arguing with him and also points out that Fadel's own brother, who is supposed to be here helping him, is nowhere to be found and that he, Style, is in fact right here by Fadel's side, helping him, supporting him. I think Style is being a little overly dramatic when he says "All I ask from you is a little decency" with the purpose of getting Fadel to soften up at least a little bit and to get him to accept Style's help, but I also think Style does genuinely desire at least some form of recognition for his support as well. But Fadel won't budge and once again just abandons him.
No. 5: This Is A... kitchen
Trouble arises at the diner and once again we see that Style likes being helpful, because he rushes into the kitchen, immediately ready to help serve the customers. And this time his desire to help is real. It might also stem a little from his desire to fix things, because it is his own fault that the restaurant is overrun and so part of him might want to make up for that, too. What matters, though, is that it's not just another attempt at getting close to Fadel like earlier when he was promoting the restaurant. Fadel blocks him once again, but Style insists. And I think he really hits the nail on the head with this:
I haven't yet looked at Fadel as closely as I have at Style (oh how I wish I had the time, though *cries in university student*) but I do think that this is ultimately something Fadel will be forced to learn over the course of the series.
Anyway, Fadel tries to send Style away again, but Style refuses to go and lists a number of arguments as to why he should in fact go serve tables instead of going home. He ends his arguments by telling Fadel to learn to accept help and then determinedly tells him that he'll go serve the tables himself. Once those words are out of his mouth he looks at Fadel almost with a bit of a defiant expression on his face as if he's waiting for Fadel to object again.
But this time Fadel says "Fine, you can wait tables" and Style nods and raises an eyebrow in surprise and happiness, like Wait?? I can?? For real?? You're actually letting me?? I don't have to fight you some more?? You're not throwing me out again??
When Style goes to change into the uniform right there in the kitchen, I don't think he's doing it to be flirty or anything like that at first. I think in the heat of the moment he genuinely forgot that changing rooms (or in this case bathrooms) exist. I think he wanted to follow Fadel's order as quickly as possible so that he could start helping as quickly as possible. That is, until Fadel tells him off and sends him to the bathroom. Style responds by playfully teasing Fadel about being shy. Style is in an excellent mood now, because it's one of those rare occasions where Fadel accepts Style's presence rather than tries to get rid of him. And while I do think Style changes in the kitchen anyway in order to tease Fadel, I don't think he's necessarily doing it to tease Fadel for sexy reasons but rather he's doing it for playfully petty reasons. Because Fadel keeps scolding him and yelling at him and so when Fadel tells him off for changing clothes in the kitchen, Style does it out of spite. Like Oh, you don't want me to change in the kitchen? Well, in this case I DEFINITELY have to change in the kitchen, then. I will say, though, that there is definitely a little bit of an Oh, you're NOT shy? Well, prove it, then! in there as well. But I don't think that this thought is Style's main focus here, because apart from this one following look that Style throws Fadel right after he's pulled his shirt over his head...
...from what the camera shows us Style seems more focused on the clothes and the action of changing them rather than on Fadel's reaction to him getting naked right in front of Fadel's literal salad:
We, the audience, were shown Fadel's reactions to Style getting undressed and I think if Style had taken note of these reactions, the series would have made a point in showing us that Style notices Fadel's crisis. And our chatty cat here would have 100000% teased Fadel about it. What's more, Style has no idea just how much of an effect his naked body had on Fadel back at the sauna. Style has absolutely no idea that Fadel went and fantasized about him afterwards. So Style does not (yet) know that his naked body is one of the strongest weapons he currently has in the fight for Fadel. So Style does not (yet) realize that he could be using his body in a much more deliberate manner. And I don't think he realized it in this scene either, because as I said we would have been shown his discovery. So Style leaves the scene none the wiser, but eager to help and absolutely stoked that Fadel actually lets him for once.
No. 6: Death by Spatula?
Unexpectedly, Fadel drops lore about himself and I think that piques Style's interest, because Fadel almost NEVER drops lore about himself. Pretty much all the things Style knows about Fadel are things he got from other people (like all the information in the notebook) or things he found out by himself (either because he's picked up on them during all their interactions so far or because he actively did some research like when he looked up Fadel's name). There are only two other instances where Fadel himself revealed something about himself to Style:
When Style finds him at the gym, Fadel drops that he doesn't like it when it's crowded and that this is why he likes going to the gym at night.
When Fadel tells Style that he runs a burger joint in the "sensitive nipples" scene and also mentions that he does everything by himself. Although this incident barely counts, because Fadel didn't really give this information up voluntarily, but was instead kind of forced to do so since Style had found the pin of his restaurant.
Usually, Fadel refuses to reveal anything about himself. But now Fadel is overwhelmed by the many customers and in his stress he lets slip that he doesn't need money and that he only runs the restaurant for fun. When Fadel then also claims not to be rich, Style immediately finds it sus. Lucky for him, though, he won't make the right guess until later in the episode and so he manages to escape being prematurely murdered with a spatula. But Style doesn't know that.
Instead, Style just got a lot more intrigued by Fadel. This is one of those incidents that make Style want to get to know Fadel out of his own curiosity and not because he wants to help his friend and is getting his dream car as a reward. Style is starting to take a genuine interest in Fadel as a person and his positive feelings towards Fadel grow.
No. 7: First Bites
When Fadel wordlessly hands Style the burger it's the first time that Fadel is actively reaching out to him. Reaching out to him in a friendly manner that is, not to ambush him in a dark locker room and start a fight. And Style is absolutely delighted that Fadel is finally taking a step towards him instead of walking away from him like he usually does. And Style being Style, he of course has to immediately make a big deal out of it: "Are you finally folding? Was it because of how hard working I am? You like me now, don't you?"
Actually, I wanna take a little detour to the language side of things again. The English translation has a question tag only on the last sentence, but in Thai Style actually uses question words that give a sense of "right?" or "isn't that so?" at the end of every single one of these questions.
นี่มึงเปิดใจให้กูแล้วใช่ป่ะ
[nêe - mueng - bpèrt - jai - hâi - guu - láew - châi bpà]
[interjection] - you - open - heart, mind - to, for - I/me - already - right?
I actually really like the expression he uses in Thai: he says เปิดใจ [bpèrt jai] which consists of the words "(to) open" (เปิด) and "heart, mind" (ใจ). To me, that gives me the feeling of Style not just asking Did I manage to win you over? but more of a feeling of You are finally opening (your heart) up to me, right? You are finally letting me in? which I think is a much nicer image in regard to Fadel's character and Fadel and Style's relationship.
I don't know if others feel the same way, but in the English translation the "hard working" part mostly makes me think of Style working hard with helping at the restaurant before this conversation. A more literal translation of what he says in Thai would be "You've seen my diligence and determination, haven't you?" and I'm sure he's actually more referring to his determination and relentless efforts in getting close to Fadel.
I just really like the way Style phrases all his questions here in Thai. Fadel has enclosed his heart deep within him in very thick and high walls and no one gets access to it. And Style's task isn't that he has to get Fadel to simply just fold to him, surrender to him, but what he actually needs to do is to search for a way to reach Fadel's heart. His options are either to tear down Fadel's walls by sheer force or to somehow get Fadel to trust him so much that Fadel will willingly unlock and open up the doors leading to the depths of his heart. And it's like Style is asking You're finally letting me in, right? You're finally recognizing my diligent efforts to reach you, right? You no longer hate me, right? You like me now, don't you?
And I don't think Style is necessarily flirting here and means to ask if Fadel likes him romantically. On the surface, yes, he is definitely also asking if the flirting (attempts) have worked and if Fadel is starting to fall for him. But I think a lot of this is also about how he has on multiple occasions now tried to form a genuine connection with Fadel. Just in this episode alone we can see it in the way he asks Fadel if he likes heavy metal at the heavy metal bar and then tries to get him to socialize, tries to include him. We can see it the entire time at the restaurant just now where he's voluntarily helping because he genuinely cares. There are even more instances in the first two episodes, which I talk about in my first meta post of this meta series. Style has tried to bond with Fadel multiple times now, but Fadel has always blocked his attempts and I think a big part of Style also wants to know if Fadel is finally starting to have at least friendly feelings towards Style. That Style is finally going from being an annoying presence in Fadel's life to being a pleasant presence in his life.
But Fadel shoots him down. "Don't get your hopes up. This is your wage." (Fun fact: in Thai Fadel actually tells Style not to เวอร์ [wer], which is a slang word coming from the English word "over" and, if I remember my Thai friend's explanation from a month ago correctly, is used to indicate that what someone is doing/saying is "too much", so what Fadel says here could be taken as "don't exaggerate" or "don't be so overly dramatic" or "don't be so hyped")
Style immediately complains that the burger is too little of a wage, but also won't let Fadel take it away from him again, insisting on eating it anyway. It might not be much of a wage, but that burger is important to Style. When Fadel sends him home, Style dramatically laments being exploited and thrown away. I think this is yet another one of Style's attempts to get some friendly banter out of Fadel. But Fadel isn't having it. Fadel makes it clear that he wants Style gone asap and Style is annoyed that Fadel keeps making him leave. I think Style is genuinely enjoying hanging out with Fadel at the burger joint and also genuinely wants to stay. His positive feelings continue to develop.
Special shout-out also to the way Style loudly goes "Mmh! Mmmh!!" while chomping down on the burger to make sure Fadel knows exactly how much he's enjoying Fadel's food. Which isn't just food in this instance, no, the burger also stands for an unspoken thank you for helping me and symbolizes the first time Fadel has actively reached out to Style on his own and done a nice thing for him. Style is making sure Fadel won't miss just how much he appreciates this gesture.
No. 8: A Fly on the Wall
Oh, how desperately I wish we knew at which point of the conversation between the brothers Style came in exactly! This is going to drive me insane, because I have no idea just how much of the conversation Style overheard, which unfortunately is important information for the interpretation of his interactions with Fadel from this point on. Most of all I really NEED to know if Style happened to hear this specific line: "Didn't the dude you wanted to rely on just disappear?"
Fun fact: in Thai Keen doesn't actually say "you wanted to rely on" but he says (ที่)มึงจะไปอยู่ด้วย [(thêe) - mueng - jà - bpai - yòo - dûuay] which should translate to something like "(that) you were gonna be with" or "were gonna live with" (disclaimer: I didn't double-check this with a native speaker) which (at least in English) sounds much more like a serious relationship to me rather than when phrased as "dude you wanted to rely on". And we'll get the confirmation of an ex-boyfriend later in the episode.
Now the question is: DOES STYLE KNOW ABOUT THE EX-BOYFRIEND NOW?? DOES HE KNOW FADEL WAS IN LOVE BEFORE?? PLEASEEE I NEED TO KNOW 😭😭😭
In my quest to find an answer to these questions I did come across a strange background noise that comes right after this line, though. A background noise that could very well be interpreted as Style sliding open the door. So for the sake of my own sanity I'll go with Style only having heard this part of the conversation for sure:
F: Why did you bring this up?
K: I just want you to tell your brother how pipe dreams always end. In this line of profession, no one waits for you.
This is yet another incident that gets Style genuinely curious about Fadel, about who he is exactly. Style will certainly be wondering about what that profession is from now on. And he will certainly be wondering about what that profession could be after he watches Fadel beat up three grown men like it's nothing. And he won't know that he will have hit the jackpot with his guess.
No. 9: Private Show
Where the masturbation scene from episode 2 confirms that Fadel feels genuine physical/sexual attraction to Style, this scene confirms that the feeling is mutual on Style's side of things as well. Style, too, finds Fadel's body hot. What's more, he never stops looking at Fadel. And not just at his body, but throughout his fantasy, Style is always searching for Fadel's eyes. In fact, he rarely takes his own eyes off of Fadel's face, and when Style does direct his eyes somewhere else it's always only for a very short moment. I think this once again shows that Style desires an emotional connection next to a physical one as well. Sex isn't just sex to Style, he wants more with it.
It is said that eyes are the windows to the soul, so another reason for the intense eye contact could be that Style also wants to stare deep into Fadel's soul to get to know him better in a quest to find answers to who this mysterious person really is. Because by now Style is genuinely curious. He has genuinely started to care.
Remember how I mentioned that arguments could be made for Style actually liking being pursued more than doing the pursuing and that I would get into this later? Later is now.
At this point I want to plug @clemelntine's extremely interesting perspective on the two sexual fantasies that we've gotten so far and what that means for the storage room hook-up. I'm not gonna reiterate everything, but I do want to pick up on what she says about Style specifically:
No matter how much he annoys Fadel in the day to day and how much he seems to take the upperhand in those interactions, when it comes to sex he likes in the idea of letting Fadel do what he does/wants.
In Style's own fantasy, Style is sitting back, he's letting Fadel take the reins, do the work. This is also in line with @secriden's excellent meta on Style's true desire being to be pursued, which I also really encourage you to read. Again, I won't repeat the entire post, but she highlights how Style will downright create opportunities for Fadel to lay his hands on him and how "every single time Fadel even shows a HINT of wanting Style, he immediately falls pliant, like he can't wait to let Fadel take the reins" (quoted from @secriden). And we see this desire in the fantasy too. Style imagines Fadel being the active one while Style gets to sit there and enjoy. Our little attention hoe here likes it when people are actively after him.
I was struggling to really make sense of Style this episode. In the first two episodes, whenever Style was being annoying there would be some sort of trigger for it. I was confused especially in the beginning of this episode, because I didn't understand how and why Style would go from trying to genuinely bond with Fadel at the heavy metal bar to being annoying at the running track and at the market when nothing seemed to have triggered it. I could tell Style was being annoying on the sports field and at the market, but I really couldn't figure out the "but why?" of it all. But if we look at his behavior through the lens of "Style actually prefers being pursued over doing the pursuing", I think it makes more sense. Style prefers for others to put in the effort of pursuing and now that he's forced to do the pursuing himself he doesn't really know how to go about it, especially when the person he's trying to woo has walls high up to the sky and continuously shoots him down. Style shows up and drops flirty lines but he doesn't even really mean them because he doesn't actually want to do the pursuing. The inauthenticity in his insistent approach is what makes him annoying in those scenes. And it's also not what works on Fadel – it's when Style is being genuine that he actually reaches Fadel, like when he was helping him wait tables (which Fadel recognizes by rewarding him with a burger) or when Style was being playfully flirty in the sauna (which results in Fadel fantasizing about him at night).
No. 10: Mark Style Down As Scared AND Horny
We will later learn that Style doesn't believe Fadel about needing more money for the restaurant and was just acting stupid to gain Fadel's trust, but when I first sat down to take notes for my meta I wasn't sure if Style was being entirely accurate/truthful when he said this, since he witnessed Fadel taking on three grown men only after that whole conversation about the restaurant. So why would he feel a need to gain Fadel's trust before that? At first I thought that maybe Style did believe Fadel for a moment there, especially also because he presented Fadel with an excuse as to why he was working there right away and then also sounded a bit too sincere when he offered support to Fadel. However, on second thought I'm now thinking that he really does distrust Fadel's claims from the start.
Outside the host club Style approaches Fadel and I don't think it's with the motivation to flirt with him but rather to find out why exactly Fadel would be here stripping for some ladies. It's a bit odd that he immediately offers Fadel an out of "You need the money for your restaurant, right?" when he's trying to get answers, but maybe this clumsy approach at digging for answers is already part of Style playing dumb on purpose to gain Fadel's trust. But why would he need to gain Fadel's trust when he hasn't even seen yet what Fadel is really capable of?
While it is true that up until the "why are you working as a stripper" conversation Style hasn't witnessed the real danger that Fadel poses, there've still been enough incidents to make him suspicious of Fadel. It already starts right during their first meeting when Fadel won't let Style get near his car. That's weird, Style finds it weird. Next thing Style knows is that Fadel also doesn't have any papers for said car which is very odd again. In episode 2 Style gets a little hint of Fadel's dangerous side when Fadel ambushes him in the locker room. In episode 3 he learns that Fadel opened the burger place just for fun rather than to earn money and that apparently Fadel isn't rich and yet somehow still has the resources and the time to run a whole restaurant for fun. Shortly after that he (likely) overhears something about a "profession" which clearly can't refer to the profession of being a burger joint owner. Style has enough reasons to be suspicious of Fadel, even before he witnesses Fadel's badass fighting skills. Style has reasons to gain Fadel's trust and to stay on his good side, especially since Style himself is hiding ulterior motives and can't risk Fadel getting suspicious of his own true intentions. So Style plays dumb, offers Fadel an out, and when Fadel takes that out Style raises his eyebrows and hesitates for a moment like Oh, okay. We're going with the lie, then, before he offers Fadel support.
The conversation gets interrupted by those three men looking for a fight and for the first time Style gets to see just how dangerous Fadel can get when he wants to. This is where Style truly realizes that something really is very, very OFF about Fadel. It's no longer a joke or a gut feeling, no, this is confirmation that something is incredibly shady here. And Style wants to get to the bottom of it.
No. 11: Hit by Apollo's Ball of Prophecy
There've been a few incidents that got Style curious about who Fadel really is behind his thick walls and his tough exterior, a few incidents that got Style curious about Fadel's lore. But watching Fadel take on three grown men without any major problems and having them run away in fear was the last straw. Style's motivations officially change. Getting Kant's car is less important now than finding out the truth about Fadel. Style definitely exaggerates a bit when he says that Fadel must be some kind of hitman, is being dramatic as usual. It won't be much longer until Style finds out that Apollo has actually hit him with the gift of prophecy.
No. 12: Rise Up
Style is determined to find out more about Fadel's life and promptly shows up at yet another location he knows Fadel will be at. I'm not sure Style was aware this meeting was gonna be about grief and loss before he arrived and saw the sign. At least from the notebook it's hard to tell, because the drawing only shows a group of people sitting in a circle of chairs with the caption "rise up". That could really be about anything. For me personally, my first association (especially in combination with the words "rise up") would be a Christian bible study group, although I doubt that Style, having been raised in a predominantly Buddhist country, would necessarily have this specific association with that image and those words, too. Point still stands that nothing about this drawing strictly points to loss specifically. (Technically we could say that since there's no address in the notebook, Style might have googled "rise up" in order to figure out where to go and seen on the website that it was a meeting for grief and loss. However, as we didn't actually get to see Style do any research and find this information, I'm just gonna run on the assumption that he genuinely didn't know and that maybe he got the address via Bison or something. Or maybe he actively stalked and followed Fadel, idk.)
Style stops in front of the sign, double-checks that he's at the right place, and then nods in determination, kinda like alright, let's do this, then, before he enters.
Another reason why I don't think Style was aware of what this group meeting was gonna be about before he arrived is the way he's kinda confused when the group leader asks him to tell his story. The group leader elaborates ("Something you've lost, or the changing point in your life.") and Style, who was looking at the group leader while listening to his explanation, turns his head to look at Fadel right after the group leader says the word จุดเปลี่ยน [jùt bplìian] (= changing point). He stares at Fadel as if he's wondering Did he lose something? Was there a changing point in his life?
Style can't dwell on it for too long, though, because he has just been asked a question and now needs to come up with a cover story.
And this is where Style really starts to get out of line. He dishes out a story about some dog, which I don't really want to get into right now since at the point of me writing this we're only 4 episodes into the series and who knows, something might as well happen later down the line that could recontextualize Style's story (looking at you, Boonterm mention! 👀), but I think it's safe to say that Style isn't too involved in his story emotionally. When he cries, the crying is cringe and it's NOT because Dunk is a bad actor (far from it!!) but rather it's because Style the character isn't taking himself seriously here. This is also highlighted in the smug look and nod he shoots Fadel in the middle of his crying performance:
His behavior is very disrespectful, but I don't think he's being disrespectful on purpose. I think this is another one of his idiot boy moments where he is just really fucking stupid. Style is impulsive and doesn't think things through a lot and I think in this scene he is also so absorbed in his goal of getting to the bottom of Fadel and Fadel's mysteries that his tunnel vision on his goal prevents him from realizing the effect his actions can have on those around him, the consequences his behavior could bring. We saw it before that Style sometimes doesn't see things as much of a big deal as they actually are when he doesn't think much of texting while driving (as elaborated in my ep1 meta). Besides, his behavior has worked out pretty well for him all episode, with the worst consequence being Fadel simply just walking away from him, and Style even got to celebrate small victories like when Fadel made him a burger. So why would Style be changing his behavior now? There is no reason for Style to act differently, and so he continues to bug Fadel as usual and it genuinely doesn't occur to him that his behavior could be disrespectful or out of line.
Maybe if Style had had more time to dwell on the thought of Is Fadel here because he's lost someone? he might have realized that the situation was a lot more serious than he had originally thought and that his words/actions were gonna be out of line and that he shouldn't have been doing this, but alas that is not what happened. He didn't have the time and so he immediately gets distracted fabricating an elaborate story to answer the group leader's question and doesn't spend a single one of his brain cells thinking about his behavior and its consequences. He will soon learn about the consequences, though, because Fadel is seriously pissed now.
No. 13: Giving You What You Want (But Is It?)
Fadel is pissed and goes to confront Style in the privacy of a random storage room. Style is obviously lying to Fadel through his teeth. I do think there's some truth to it when Style says "I have my own problems. You're not the only one" but whatever problems in life Style currently has (especially if there's anything connected to loss and grief), these problems really aren't at the forefront of his mind right now. We know for a fact that Style is lying when he explains that he found the support group via the internet, that meeting Fadel was a coincidence and Fadel doesn't buy it either. What we, the audience, also know but what Fadel doesn't necessarily guess is that Style is also lying about how he is hitting on Fadel because he likes him and because he wants him. "Nothing more than that" he says, but as the audience we know that this is also bullshit, because we know he was specifically sent by Kant and we know that a car is waiting for Style when he succeeds. What we also know, though, is that Style is definitely physically/sexually attracted to Fadel, so when Fadel offers to hook up with him, who is Style to say no?
I think this nc scene surprised a lot of us, because it didn't go the way most of us were expecting it to go. As has already been pointed out in various posts by various people, Style is surprisingly passive during the entire act (at least that we get to see). They have next to no eye contact, Style doesn't initiate a single kiss and barely touches Fadel except to hold him and to run his hand through Fadel's hair. But why is that?
Many a thing has already been said about this scene and about the characters' motivations and I don't think there is one specific interpretation that is the One Truth. I think many truths exist in this scene simultaneously and there are many factors as to why the characters are acting the way they are acting. Emotions are complicated and sometimes you can have many of them at one and the same time.
An interpretation that I haven't seen floating around yet is that part of Style's passiveness could also stem from the fact that he was caught off-guard. I don't think he was expecting Fadel to go Alright fine, have me, then. In fact, I think when Style told Fadel "I like you" and "I want you" those were mainly empty words again. Because this time he didn't seek out one of Fadel's usual places in order to to hit on him, but because he wants to find out the truth about Fadel, wants to figure out the reason why Fadel is so shady. But then he ends up pissing Fadel off who then promptly starts a fight with him and Style needs to cover up his own intentions when he throws those words into Fadel's face. Style says "I want you", but he doesn't actually mean it in that moment and his actions do not reflect the I want to bang you sentiment at all either. I don't think he was planning on actually hooking up with Fadel that evening. We've all seen the sauna scene, we know how Style behaves when he actually wants to get into Fadel's towel pants. And this isn't it. So when Fadel suddenly and uncharacteristically does let Style get into his pants gets into Style's pants, I think this throws Style off and he momentarily doesn't know how to respond to the situation.
Plus, as @nnnn99999 writes in her meta, there is also the emotional disconnect. At this point of the story, neither of them is in love with the other just yet. Yes, there is mutual physical attraction and yes, by now Style has taken an interest in Fadel beyond the car, has started to develop positive feelings for Fadel and has at times actively enjoyed interacting with Fadel, but they still have their own motives and intentions and emotionally they simply just aren't quite on the same page yet. Style desires both body and heart, but both of their hearts simply aren't properly in it just yet. I don't think Style minds hooking up, he's definitely consenting to it and also enjoying it, but it's just not quite what Style dreams of, not like this. In a way, yes, it actually is what Style has dreamed of, because his fantasies of Fadel doing things to him rather than him doing things to Fadel are now becoming reality, as @clemelntine beautifully explained in her meta, but in the real situation there's one important detail missing from Style's fantasy: the intense eye contact. In addition to Fadel's body, Style also wants that emotional connection. We've seen this time and time again whenever Style has tried to make friends as well as to genuinely bond with Fadel, and this desire extends also to the sex.
Another interesting perspective of this scene I want to share is that of my mother when I watched this episode with her. After we finished the episode I mentioned that many of us were surprised at just how passive Style is in this entire scene. We went to rewatch it and this is what my mom had to say: to her it reads like Fadel is drowning and Style functions as his lifesaver, his lifebuoy ring. And Style is trying to analyze Fadel, is trying to understand what exactly Fadel is doing here, what Fadel is playing at here, what's happening all of a sudden. Style is passive, almost as if he's observing the scene from an outside perspective, watching Fadel, trying to figure him out. And then, by the end of the scene, Style has understood. Well, he hasn't understood what exactly is going on with Fadel. I mean, how can he at this point in time? It's not like Fadel is an open book. There are so many things Style doesn't yet know about Fadel. So right here in the storage room Style wouldn't actually be able to sit down and pinpoint all the things that are happening inside Fadel right now, list all the thoughts running through Fadel's head, describe the crisis Fadel is having. No, intellectually Style doesn't understand what is going on with Fadel. Oh, but emotionally. Emotionally, Style does understand that Fadel is drowning, is falling apart. And so he holds him together. And while Fadel's walls start to collapse as he's starting to give into Style, Style holds him and holds him and holds him.
And lastly I want to leave you with @braceletofteeth's excellent tags on this post, which is something that I think also factors into why Style goes from being proactive to being passive in the blink of an eye:
#Fadel said he would give himself to Style #and Style let him do that #he barely touched Fadel except to hold him and caress his hair #he reciprocated the kisses but did not initiate them #he didn't try to take any more of Fadel than what Fadel willingly gave him #[head in hands]
During the entire nc part I kind of get the sense like Style is waiting. Waiting to see with a certain curiosity what Fadel will be doing next, what Fadel wants to do next, ready to happily take up whatever Fadel offers. Style is letting Fadel control the situation completely and doesn't push him once.
No. 14: Kiss or Slap?
Once again we see that Style isn't too much of a fan of casual hook-ups. And while I do think part of his motivations for saying the things he says and for trying to stop Fadel from abandoning him again is because making Fadel his boyfriend specifically rather than just hooking up with him is the aim of the game here after all, but I do think that Style isn't lying this time. He's just a bit too annoyed when he asks "What kind of man do you take me for?" for it to be an act. I think he is genuinely offended that Fadel would think of him this way. And I think he's genuinely a little upset and hurt that Fadel is perfectly happy to sleep with him and to ditch him immediately after. We get foreshadowing to Style being very much Team Anti Hit-and-Run in episode 1 when he tells Fadel "It ain't like me to hit and run" in the context of an actual car crash and earlier this episode when he laments "Oh, the nature of man. He will exploit you and then throw you away". Style is very much not happy with this turn of events and it's not purely because he hasn't yet completed the mission Kant has sent him on. We also get another hint of Style looking for a connection in his hook-ups in the way Style is looking at Fadel when they're getting dressed while in contrast Fadel has turned his back to Style completely, avoiding eye contact and avoiding any interaction:
Another thing that I want to point out is that Fadel says "I gave you what you wanted" and "We agreed on it" when Style tries to stop him from leaving. However, they didn't exactly agree on anything? Fadel started kissing Style before they could even come up with any terms and conditions and the thing is when Style said he wanted Fadel, he never said he wanted Fadel only once. And he also never said he wanted Fadel to run away immediately afterwards.
So Style puts up a fight. He firmly stands between Fadel and the door, blocking Fadel's way. Fadel threatens to punch Style if he doesn't move, but Style refuses to stand down even though he knows very well from personally witnessing it that Fadel is perfectly capable of punching him if he wished to. Despite that, Style is not scared of Fadel. I think Style takes Fadel's sudden willingness to sleep with him as a sign that Fadel has finally developed some sort of positive feelings towards Style after all, too. And Style is confident enough about it that he trusts that Fadel wouldn't hurt him. When Style says "You like me" I don't think he necessarily means it in the sense of you're in love with me or you're crushing on me. I think he's calling out Fadel's change of heart (that is negative feelings turning into positive feelings) and is making it very clear just how confident he is about Fadel not hurting him. I'm not scared of you. I've become a positive presence in your life now. You wouldn't dare to injure me. It's a counterattack to Fadel's threat. But Fadel's trauma runs deep. And so he punches Style, because giving him a bit of a beating is still better than risking to face the consequences of what might happen if he lets anyone get behind those thick high walls. And he punches Style also a little bit to put him in line for his cockiness.
I may be a Style apologist and a Style enabler, but after that shit Style pulled at the group meeting that punch was totally deserved.
Please don't expect me to write a proper conclusion bc my brain is absolutely fried now bye <3
