Feb 24, 2025
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It's so fluffy, I could die!
I will never understand the connection that internet "Nice Guys" have made between a 12 dollar canvas trilby from Target and talking like Thor.
"Lo, I weareth mine fedora with pride. Why art I not yet awash in female companionship? Forsooth, the race be not to the Nice Guy."
So I changed my Dad's name for everything (phone, email, etc) from 'Daddy' to 'Odin Allfather' and started responding to his messages in 'Thorspeak'. Here is one such convo:
Dad: Lmfao
Me: FATHER, WHY ARE YOU "LAUGHING YOUR BUTTOCKS OFF"?
D: Bean. Y are you talking like that?
M: HOW IS THE ONE OF BEANS AMUSING YOU, DEAREST FATHER?
D: I still don't get y you are talking like that. It was just part of the movie.
M: I SEE. I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE MAGIC BOX OF MOVING PICTURES.
D: .....okay.
Skype convos.
ohyesweareskip: I think Skype is going to continue to be an Odin-sized bag of Dicks
O: So maybe we should go
notalifetobehad: YES I NOTICED
O: (Also I wrote dicks Dicks so I imagined a bag full of Dick Graysons)
O: (Imagine that)
O: (You're welcome)
N: CAPSLOCK MAKES ME FEEL LIKE THOR
N: VERILY
N: OH THAT SOUNDS AMAZING
N: ME GUSTA
O: WHAT IS SO AMUSING ABOUT A BAG OF RICHARDS
O: I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS MIDGARDIAN JEST
N: (snort)
N: BECAUSE HE HAS A MOST ACTRACTIVE ASS, THOR. THUS WE MUST ADMIRE IT
O: AH, I HAVE DONE RESEARCH ON THE MIDGARDIAN ANIMAL, "THE ASS"
O: AS FAR AS I HAVE FOUND, MIDGARDIANS DISCOURAGE SEXUAL ATTRACTION TO ANIMALS
O: IS THIS AN EXCEPTION TO THE RULE?
N: NO! ASS ON MIDGARd IS IN REFERENCE TO THE REAR END
N: AND RICHARDS IS MOST GLORIOUS
N: IT SHOULD BE WORSHIPED
Hail, mortals of tumblr!
For today's fine holiday, I shall be Thorcito, irate-I-do-not-deign-to-respect-talking-inanimate-objects son of Odin!
Sadly, I could not acquire Mjolnir, but fear not, for I have a weapon worthy of mine masquerade!
Behold! Mjolnyan!
And, to use thine mortal slang...