Originally I wanted to rant about cinematographié but I guess Im not in the mood enough
Since its christmas time - family time, Ive been thinking a lot. Remembering. I went through the happiest set of memories I got with my family members. I compare it with the relationships we have now. Damn we all grew so so distant with each other. I was remembering all the friends I dont talk to anymore. I remembered my friend who would talk to me about her days, helping to take care of wolves in zoo. She did send me fanfiction in envelope as christmas present. We havent talked in years. Other friends who told me they would love to meet and wanted to invite me over their houses for summer holidays. We too dont talk anymore. Remembering happy moments with my cousin who was for many years in my early teens my closest friend. We do only formal talk now. She has her own family. I remember the people I used to admire, their humour, how they would introduce me to various fandoms and topics. They’re not interested in majority of them anymore and they changed a lot as well.
Im thinking of the shared moments that wont be here anymore. We either dont talk or grew distant. Im very often lost in the past, hoping I could bring it back. I cant make my peace with how people move on in their lives, losing interest in things Im still interested at. And by that I mean they leave.
Im remebering the discussion “why did you stop talking to your childhood/old friend?” And majority of the answers being “we dont have much in common now/have different interests”. It got me thinking how I did always talk to my friends even if they got into “new thing” that didnt interest me. I dont see how is that a reason for abandoning a friend. And yet it seems its very valid reason for majority. I also think of the line “true friendship is seeing the person grow and change and accept them like that anyway”. I wonder about the quality of my relationships a lot.
Anyway Im completely soaked and drenched in nostalgy. And not only for the relationship-sake. I think about the little things of the past as well - the trends, things that used to be common. Recently I remembered I dont see telephone boxes anymore. I cant remember when they stopped being a thing. But I sure as hell remember seeing a random woman using one, holding her small kid in arms, smiling putting the telephone closer to kids ear. Probably to say hello to a relative. How playing hunt the thimble was so common, people would really randomly play it and it wasnt just in my family. How Linkin Park, Nightwish, and czech rock was so common to hear on mainstream radio stations. It’s really the little stuff that fills the whole picture. It’s always the little things.