#thought challenging

[mental-health-advice]

Hey. I've been struggling a lot with intrusive thoughts for the past few weeks. Now they've gotten to the point where I've been thinking that I "enjoy" these thoughts but I really don't?? I'm afraid of giving in these thoughts because they've given me nothing but distress. Any advice I should read through? Thank you! -Iddy

Hi Iddy, 

Thank you for getting in touch with us here at MHA! I’m sorry that you have been struggling with intrusive thoughts, I can only imagine how hard that must have been for you recently. I hope I’ll be able to give you some advice and tips about what you can do to start tackling this issue.Please remember that just because you are having these thoughts, does not make you a bad person! 

I’m sure this is something you know, but honestly, the most effective way of dealing with these thoughts is to seek some professional help. A therapist or counsellor will be able to guide you into understanding your thoughts, why you are having them, and how you can learn to manage them. If seeing a counsellor or therapist isn’t immediately an option for you, you could go to your GP who can then refer you onto a mental health professional. I’m linking our page about getting help here because I know how hard it can be to ask for help and to admit the issues you are facing out loud. Professionals are trained in dealing with situations like this, and this will not be something shocking or necessarily bad to them, so I promise that they won’t judge you or treat you differently for going to them with these issues - you have nothing to be ashamed of, lovely!

Intrusive thoughts can be super hard to deal with, but there are some techniques that you could try and use to help you manage them. The most important thing with intrusive thoughts is to avoid giving them too much power - easier said than done - but if you don’t give the fire and fuel then the fire can’t burn, you know? So, if you try and avoid milling over the intrusive thought and attempting to analyse it you are giving it the attention and fuelling the thoughts further.  This is not to say you should completely ignore the thoughts, but simply acknowledge the thought is present and then move on and try to distract yourself.  Instead of repressing them, I think an important thing to do is challenge the thoughts - you can do this directly, or some people find it helpful to challenge them sarcastically, for example ‘‘Oh yeah, what a greeeeat idea that is!!’

To help with distracting yourself from the thoughts here is our page about distraction techniques. Grounding techniques might also be something you could try? Grounding techniques help to bring your focus away from any intrusive thought, bring it back to your consciousness and back to reality. We have a page of them here! I suggest, to begin with, you try something like saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly, or running your hands under really cold water. One I find particularly useful is:

Describe 5 things you can see

Describe 4 things you can hear

Describe 3 things you can feel

Describe 2 things you can smell

Describe 1 thing you can taste

I am going to share a couple of resources with you which are helpful interactive guides to help you start dealing with the intrusive thoughts:

This four-step programmeIntrusivethoughts.orgSuppressionMoodsmith

I hope some of this has been of use to you, lovely. Please don’t hesitate to get back in touch if there is anything else that we can do for you. Having these thoughts does not make you a bad person, they literally intrude into your thoughts and you can’t control them. They don’t reflect personally on you. Please take care!

Rhiann xo

[mental-health-advice]

URGENT please answer this soon or at least let me know if you can't. I have pics and lately I've been really struggling bad with it and this is the worst it's ever been, I've really geuniely been doubting whether Im sexually attracted to kids like I'm so scared I don't know anymore. I just had a dream (think I was half awake?) of a woman doing something inappropriate to a guy and in my dream I got turned but knew it was wrong, then I got the thought "think about kids" and it was like in the-

dream I got turned on even more at the though (although I didn't think about any specific scenario) but in the dream whilst I knew it was wrong when I had the thought to think any kids and git turned on more it was like I was so overwhelmed by the turned on feeling k didn't even care and just allowed that thought and then I actually orgasms and woke up! I feel bad about it. The scariest think is that when I had the thought to think about a kid I think I thought about my niece, not on any sexual-

way, but I'm afraid I had the innocent image of my niece whilst I had that thought. Another awful thing about this is that I feel like I don't feel bad enough about it. Right now I writing this I feel like I don't even feel that bad and that makes me feel bad. Please answer I don't wanna be alive anymore. What does this mean.

Hi friend,

Thank you for getting in touch with us here at MHA, I realise that this must have been really difficult for you and I’m sorry that we couldn’t get to your ask any sooner.  I’m sorry that you are having these thoughts and it is causing you some level of distress. I hope that I’ll be able to give you some reassurance and advice.

I think the most important thing for you right now is to remember that these are just intrusive thought - they can’t be controlled, they’re literally unwanted things that intrude into your consciousness. They are not a reflection of you and your worth or anything like that, please don’t feel bad for having them, lovely! Personally, I believe that the fact you are questioning these thoughts and you felt horrified by them, shows that you don’t really want it and that this is just something you are struggling with. Maybe looking at it like this will help you to feel a little better about yourself and the situation? I promise that you are not bad or wrong for this.

I’m just wondering if you have ever reached out to a professional regarding your worries? The most effective way of dealing with these intrusive thoughts is to seek some professional help. A therapist or counsellor will be able to guide you into understanding your thoughts, why you are having them, and how you can learn to manage them. If seeing a counsellor or therapist isn’t immediately an option for you, you could go to your GP who can then refer you onto a mental health professional. I’m linking our page about getting help here because I know how hard it can be to ask for help and to admit the issues you are facing out loud. Professionals are trained in dealing with instances like this, and this will not be something shocking or ‘wrong’ to them, so I promise that they won’t judge you or treat you differently for going to them with these issues - you have nothing to be ashamed of, lovely!  You could call a helpline or use web counselling anonymously if seeing someone face-to-face is too difficult for you.

Intrusive thoughts like these can be super hard to deal with, but there are some techniques that you could try and use to help you manage them. The most important thing with intrusive thoughts is to avoid giving them too much power - easier said than done - but if you don’t give the fire and fuel then the fire can’t burn, you know? So, if you try and avoid milling over the intrusive thought and attempting to analyse it you are giving it the attention and fuelling the thoughts further.  This is not to say you should completely ignore the thoughts, but simply acknowledge the thought is present and then move on and try to distract yourself - try to picture them leaving you, like clouds moving across the sky or something similar, and this can help you to realise that these thoughts will pass.  Grounding techniques might also be something you could try? Grounding techniques help to bring your focus away from any intrusive thought, bring it back to your consciousness and back to reality. We have a page of them here! I suggest to begin with you try something like saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly, or running your hands under really icy cold water.

Instead of repressing them, I think an important thing to do is challenge the thoughts - you can do this directly, or some people find it helpful to challenge them sarcastically, for example ‘‘Oh yeah, what a great idea that is!!’ or ‘‘I have so much evidence to support this thought… not.’’  These thoughts are not a representation of you; they are literally things that are intruding on your brain and have nothing to do with you and what you want/need, try not to give them any power, but still acknowledge that they exist!  

I am linking you to our page about OCD here! We have some really great informative pages which may help with your own understanding of what you are going through. Also, the following webpages might be helpful for you to read and they have some good interactive information about trying to overcome the thoughts too:

This four step programme

Intrusivethoughts.org

Suppression

I hope this has been of some use to you, friend. Please don’t hesitate to get back in touch if there is anything else that we can help you with! Please take care.

Rhiann xo

[mental-health-advice]

Hi! I'm having a hard time dealing with my OCD. I'm really afraid to leave my room, because I'll get 'dirty' if I do. Sometimes I just want to step outside of my room, so I have to deal with my fear. But I'm (hopefully) getting help within two weeks, so there's also the thought that I should wait until then. But that's a really long time.. I do think it's a great step in the right direction, to be able to move around in my own house. Yes, I'll feel dirty, but I know that's temporarily. Opinions?

Hi friend,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at MHA! I apologise for not being able to get to your ask any sooner - I believe that by now you will have started receiving some professional help for your OCD? How is that going? I completely agree that taking that first step is fantastic, and being able to move out of your room will really benefit you. I think it’s so good that you have been able to recognise this yourself, it shows just how brave you are! Although you wanted this answered before getting help, I’m going to go ahead and answer anyway just in case I can still help you with something, or help some of our other followers.

OCD is a type of anxiety disorder which is characterised by the suffered facing repetitive thought patterns which cause anxiety and stress, often accompanied by rituals or tasks. It is perfectly normal to experience a certain level of distaste or anxiety about something and to try and prevent it, but when you are worrying about these excessively and they are interfering with your daily life because of the severe fear, it is unhealthy and is certainly something that is worth getting checked out!I am linking you to our page about OCD here! It is also worth remembering that there are different types of OCD (our page here explain some of the forms), so it might be worth you doing some of your own research and looking at whether you feel like you relate to anything described. The following webpages might be helpful for you to read:

NHSOCD-UKIntrusive Thoughts.Org

Something which will hopefully help you, and cost you nothing, are self help methods. Here are some which I find particularly useful:

Avoid caffeine as it can make anxiety worse

Mindfulness

Distractions

Grounding techniques

This 4 step programme

Something else you can try, is when you find yourself facing an intrusive thought caused by your anxiety, is to stop, acknowledge it, but then challenge it with something like ‘’Do you have any evidence to support that?’’ or sarcastically saying ‘’Wow, what a fab idea that is!!’ By challenging your thoughts, it gives them less power and shows that you are in control. Do you think this is something you can try? Grounding techniques might also be something you could try? Grounding techniques help to bring your focus away from any intrusive thought, bring it back to your consciousness and back to reality. We have a page of them here! I suggest to begin with you try something like saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly, or running your hands under really icy cold water.

I hope some of this has been of use to you, lovely. I am so proud of you for wanting to take these positive steps and reaching out for help! Please don’t hesitate to get back in touch if there is anything else that we can do for you. Please take care!

‘‘Keep fighting, people, and your little monsters will never get the best of you.’’

Rhiann xo

[mental-health-advice]

Sorry, this might be silly. I have a twitter and I'm 23 and like a bunch if 16-20 ur olds followed me cause of fandom things and I talk to them very occasionally, like replying on twitter and make jokes about out common jnterest, but I have POCD and I'm starting to wonder if what I'm doing is weird? I've made sure to display my age on twitter now cause I don't wanna make young ppl uncomfortable but most followed me before I'd did that. I'm not doing anything untiwrd and keep my conversations-

-with them light and just about the movie we like. Like I'm very aware I'm older than those people and I watch what I say but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable and I wonder if it's weird that I enjoy joking with them or something? I'm not even looking for friendship with them cause they're teens and I'm an adult and I make sure when I talk to them it's kind of at a distance like I'm not getting chummy with them, but is it wrong to speak with them?

Hi friend, 

Thank you so much for getting in touch with us here at MHA! I’m sorry that you are having these thoughts and it is causing you some level of distress. I hope that I’ll be able to give you some reassurance and advice.

Firstly, no, I don’t think it is wrong or weird for you to be talking to people younger than you at all! You share a common interest with those people and so you have found a way of communicating and celebrating that interest with other people, which is a really healthy activity for your mental health. You are taking all of the steps you can to ensure that people are not fooled about your age, and you aren’t using your age against them, you are also not talking to those younger than you inappropriately - I honestly see no problem with these connections you have made on Twitter! Please try not to stop yourself from enjoying the connections and friendships you have made or will make in the future - having this outlet and companionship is a really good thing, so we need to try and maintain this healthy activity without letting your POCD overwhelm any enjoyment it was/is bringing you.

I’m just wondering if you have ever reached out to a professional regarding your POCD?  The most effective way of dealing with these intrusive thoughts is to seek some professional help. A therapist or counsellor will be able to guide you into understanding your thoughts, why you are having them, and how you can learn to manage them. If seeing a counsellor or therapist isn’t immediately an option for you, you could go to your GP who can then refer you onto a mental health professional. I’m linking our page about getting help here because I know how hard it can be to ask for help and to admit the issues you are facing out loud. Professionals are trained in dealing with instances like this, and this will not be something shocking or ‘wrong’ to them, so I promise that they won’t judge you or treat you differently for going to them with these issues - you have nothing to be ashamed of, lovely!  You could call a helpline or use web counselling anonymously if seeing someone face-to-face is too difficult for you.

I am going to share a couple of resources with you which are helpful interactive guides to help you start dealing with the intrusive thoughts:

This four step programmeIntrusivethoughts.orgSuppressionMoodsmith

Intrusive thoughts like these can be super hard to deal with, but there are some techniques that you could try and use to help you manage them. The most important thing with intrusive thoughts is to avoid giving them too much power - easier said than done - but if you don’t give the fire and fuel then the fire can’t burn, you know? So, if you try and avoid milling over the intrusive thought and attempting to analyse it you are giving it the attention and fuelling the thoughts further.  This is not to say you should completely ignore the thoughts, but simply acknowledge the thought is present and then move on and try to distract yourself - try to picture them leaving you, like clouds moving across the sky or something similar, and this can help you to realise that these thoughts will pass.

Instead of repressing them, I think an important thing to do is challenge the thoughts - you can do this directly, or some people find it helpful to challenge them sarcastically, for example ‘‘Oh yeah, what a greeeeat idea that is!!’ or ‘‘I have so much evidence to support this thought... not.’’  These thoughts are not a representation of you; they are literally things that are intruding on your brain and have nothing to do with you and what you want/need, try not to give them any power, but still acknowledge that they exist!

Grounding techniques might also be something you could try? Grounding techniques help to bring your focus away from any intrusive thought, bring it back to your consciousness and back to reality. We have a page of them here! I suggest to begin with you try something like saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly, or running your hands under really icy cold water.

I hope some of this has been of use to you, lovely. Try to continue using Twitter and the friendships you have formed as a way of celebrating a passion of yours, having these connections helps to maintain a positive mental health. Please don’t hesitate to get back in touch if there is anything else that we can do for you. Please take care!

Rhiann xo

[mental-health-advice]

I have bad homicidal thoughts, do you know of any coping mechanisms for it?

Hi love,

I am so sorry you are going through this right now, intrusive thoughts can be really hard to deal with. Well done for reaching out for help though, I know how hard it can be to admit you are having these horrible thoughts! Please remember that just because you are having these thoughts, does not make you a bad person!

I do just need to say that if you have taken any action to harm yourself or someone else, please contact your local emergency services immediately (e.g. 999). If you are reaching a crisis point then try to get yourself to a safe place, or contact someone who can keep you safe and get you to the hospital if necessary. I promise that you are so much stronger than these thoughts!

I’m sure this is something you know, but honestly, the most effective way of dealing with these thoughts is to seek some professional help. A therapist or counsellor will be able to guide you into understanding your thoughts, why you having them, and how you can learn to manage them. If seeing a counsellor or therapist isn’t immediately an option for you, you could go to your GP who can then refer you onto a mental health professional. I’m linking our page about getting help here because I know how hard it can be to ask for help and to admit the issues you are facing out loud. Professionals are trained in dealing with situations like this, and this will not be something shocking or necessarily bad to them, so I promise that they won’t judge you or treat you differently for going to them with these issues - you have nothing to be ashamed of, lovely!

When dealing with intrusive thoughts like this many people opt for trying to suppress the thoughts and ignore them. Unfortunately, this often doesn’t work and can actually make the thoughts much worse.  This has been described as the white bear effect: if you ask someone to sit for 30 seconds and not think of a white bear, thoughts of a white bear will actively occur more so than normal. So instead, it is actually good to acknowledge to yourself that you are having these horrible thoughts, as this starts taking the power away from them - try to picture them leaving you, like clouds moving across the sky or something similar, and this can help you to realise that these thoughts will pass. These thoughts are not a representation of you; they are literally things that are intruding on your brain and have nothing to do with you and what you want/need, try not to give them any power, but still acknowledge that they exist!Instead of repressing them, I think an important thing to do is challenge the thoughts - you can do this directly, or some people find it helpful to challenge them sarcastically, for example ‘‘Oh yeah, what a greeeeat idea that is!!’

I am going to share a couple of resources with you which are helpful interactive guides to help you start dealing with the intrusive thoughts:

This four step programme

Intrusivethoughts.org

Suppression 

Grounding techniques might also be something you could try? Grounding techniques help to bring your focus away from any intrusive thought, bring it back to your consciousness and back to reality. We have a page of them here! I suggest to begin with you try something like saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly, or running your hands under really cold water. One I find particularly useful is:

Describe 5 things you can see

Describe 4 things you can hear

Describe 3 things you can feel

Describe 2 things you can smell

Describe 1 thing you can taste

I hope some of this has been of use to you, lovely. Please don’t hesitate to get back in touch if there is anything else that we can do for you. Please take care!

Rhiann xo

[mental-health-advice]

I have really violent homicidal thoughts and I’m scared I’m going to hurt someone because I can’t hurt myself and I don’t really feel anything about it, I don’t feel anything at all, I’m just so numb, I saw something about homicide and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about killing dozens of people since then, I want to kill and then kill myself so everyone calls me pathetic and evil scum. Then people will call me what I really am. I don’t want to hurt anyone except myself, just want to feel

Hi lovely,

Thank you for reaching out to us here at MHA! I’m really sorry that you are experiencing this right now and it is causing you so much distress, it must be really hard to deal with. Asking us for advice was a great step to take though and is already a positive move forward. I hope I’ll be able to give you some advice and reassurance!

I do need to say that if you ever take any action to hurt yourself or someone else than please reach out to your local emergency services (e.g. 911) for immediate help. If you are reaching a point of crisis then try and get yourself to somewhere safe and contact someone who can help to keep you safe/take you to the hospital if necessary. 

I realise it may be extremely difficult but I think the best idea for you right now is to speak to a professional about how you are feeling. A therapist or counsellor will be able to guide you into understanding your thoughts, why you having them, and how you can learn to manage them. If seeing a counsellor or therapist isn’t immediately an option for you, you could go to your GP who can then refer you onto a mental health professional. Your GP will be able to discuss treatments options for you, and will diagnose any underlying mental health condition. I’m linking our page about getting help here because I know how hard it can be to ask for help and to admit the issues you are facing out loud. You could call a helpline or use web counselling anonymously if seeing someone face-to-face is too difficult for you. I do really think seeking some support would be good for you, you don’t have to face these feelings alone! Professionals are trained in dealing with situations like this, and this will not be something shocking or necessarily bad to them, so I promise that they won’t judge you or treat you differently for going to them with these issues - you have nothing to be ashamed of, lovely!

Intrusive thoughts like these can be super hard to deal with, but there are some techniques that you could try and use to help you manage them. The most important thing with intrusive thoughts is to avoid giving them too much power - easier said than done - but if you don’t give the fire and fuel then the fire can’t burn, you know? So, if you try and avoid milling over the intrusive thought and attempting to analyse it you are giving it the attention and fuelling the thoughts further. This is not to say you should completely ignore the thoughts, but simply acknowledge the thought is present and then move on and try to distract yourself. Instead of repressing them, I think an important thing to do is challenge the thoughts - you can do this directly, or some people find it helpful to challenge them sarcastically, for example ‘‘Oh yeah, what a greeeeat idea that is!!’ 

To help with distracting yourself from the thoughts here is our page about distraction techniques. Grounding techniques might also be something you could try? Grounding techniques help to bring your focus away from any intrusive thought, bring it back to your consciousness and back to reality. We have a page of them here! I suggest to begin with you try something like saying the alphabet forwards and then backwards slowly, or running your hands under really cold water. One I find particularly useful is:

Describe 5 things you can see

Describe 4 things you can hear

Describe 3 things you can feel

Describe 2 things you can smell

Describe 1 thing you can taste 

I am going to share a couple of resources with you which are helpful interactive guides to help you start dealing with the intrusive thoughts:

This four step programmeIntrusivethoughts.orgSuppressionMoodsmith

I really hope this has been of some help to you, please don’t hesitate to get back in touch with us if there is anything else we can do for you! Remember these thoughts do not make you a bad person and you can overcome this and come out the other side stronger. ‘’Fall down seven times, stand up eight’’.

Please take care,

Rhiann xo

[mental-health-advice]

Is it possible for stress to trigger social anxiety? I've always been shy and had a very low self esteem but I naturally overcame it when I was 15. After that, I kinda grew out of my social anxiety. Now I'm almost 21, third year of college (the reason I'm always stressed) and all my fears of being judged, calling strangers on the phone (such a food delivery, a particular store) or answering messages from almost everyone is back and stronger than ever. I'm afraid of those things I'm feeling ...

Hey love,

Thanks for getting in touch with us here at MHA! I am sorry that you are going through such a stressful time right now and it is having a negative impact on your mental health. I hope I’ll be able to share some techniques and reassurances to start making things a little easier for you again. 

In short, yes, stress is definitely a big trigger for mental health issues such as anxiety. Around two years ago I was in the same position as you going into my 2nd year at University and suddenly the increased pressure and stress causes a major relapse in my mental health. But hopefully I can use this to show you and others that it is possible to overcome and you can succeed with anything you desire! We need to look at ways in which we could begin to reduce that stress. This may involve something like creating a daily schedule for the important tasks that you need to complete. So this could involve a revision schedule, or a homework timetable? If you start of small with maybe just half an hour of work a day, then gradually build it up; it’s important to keep small and manageable goals! But please remember that it is really important to leave time, at least an hour or two a day, for self care. For example, I take around 2 hours before I go to bed and fill that time with things I enjoy like creating art and music, and I also make sure to spend time caring for my hair and skin etc. Self care also involves things like making sure you are eating well, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. If you are struggling with stress right now, it may also help you to begin practising some mindfulness - here is our page about it!

To begin with, I’m going to link you to our page about social anxiety here; this has a lot of information about social anxiety and some of the diagnostic criteria.

Have you considered seeing a professional about this, lovely? If not, I think it would be a really good idea for you to reach out to your doctor or a therapist for support. They will be able to diagnose you if applicable, begin treatment, and hopefully share some great coping mechanisms with you. Here is our page about getting help if that is something that you want to consider; if this page leaves you with any questions about seeking treatment, then please drop us another message and one of the other admins or I will be more than willing to help you out!

It is important to note that when dealing with any type of mental illness, including social anxiety, there will be times during recovery when you struggle more again and feel as though you have gone back to square one - that is completely normal! But just because you may be having a bad day or period of time, it doesn’t mean that the progress you previously made has gone; now you know that you can do those great things and it gives you something to keep striving towards. You have made such good progress, love, and you can get there again!

To challenge negative thoughts, I found it really useful to stop, acknowledge my thought, and then ask myself whether I have any evidence to support that thought. For example, if I find myself thinking ‘he thinks i’m stupid’, I stop and ask myself ‘Are you just mind-reading? What evidence do you have to say that he thinks you’re stupid?’ Normally, you will find that you don’t have any evidence to support that thought, and challenging it can help you to dismiss and move over the thought.  I suggest you have a look at our anxiety page series, specifically the self-help and calming down pages. 

Grounding techniques are personally my go to method for dealing with my anxiety. Grounding techniques help you to reconnect with reality and keep your mind from wandering off in the negative thoughts. Here is a link to our page about different methods. Personally, I recommend something physical like running your hands under icy water. You could also try something like playing a categories game with yourself; so, try to think of ‘’breeds of dogs’’, ‘’states of the USA’’, or ‘’billboard charts’’ etc. It may take you a little while to find the most effective grounding techniques for you, but hopefully the ideas on our page will be of some use to you

Something I want you to try, if you feel able to, is to start looking at the patterns in your social anxiety. So think back to some of the times when you have experienced social anxiety, and start to break it down into:

Your thoughts before a social event (e.g. everyone will think i’m stupid)

The physical symptoms you experience (e.g. panic attack)

The negative view you have of yourself (e.g. i look really ugly today)

Avoidance behaviours you use (e.g. playing on my phone)

Your thoughts after a social event (e.g. everyone hates me and won’t want to spend time with me again)

It may also be really good to keep a diary for whenever you feel anxious in the future and note down how each attack fits into the above categories. This can be really useful as it helps you to understand what is behind the anxiety and it means you can start tackling it in smaller sections. Recognising and tackling it in smaller sections can help you to feel less overwhelmed and lost in the negatives!

I hope this has been of some use to you, lovely, Please remember that you are welcome to get back in touch with us whenever you want to. Please take care!

Rhiann xo