I literally just found out why I am terrified of wasps. So the other day I was talking to my incredibly infuriating wife who is gonna get the silent treatment (or a kick to the shin) as long as she don't know how to fucking talk to me about how I think I found out why I am terrified of wasps. So I remmeber when I was a little girl my Daddy built me a tire swing for...some kind of celebration thing or whatever on one of the trees in our back yard. A literal tire swing y'all, how many people can say they were able to swing on a tire ( lol like that's such a big ass deal)? Anyway so my Daddy's only stipulation for building me the thing that I'd been asking for for literal months is that I dont go bouncing around like I "don lost my mind" cause quote: "That branch WILL come down and those wasps up there in that nest WILL come after yo ass." Kids are stupid yo; like kids are intelligent af but they're also stupid too when it comes to having fun. Like when a kid starts to have fun, their minds completely shut off to common sense; absolutely nothing else matters other than the thing that makes them do that weird head shake shit. I think I was swinging and doing that handshake thing in my tire swing when I accidentally bounced; I bounced and surprise the sky didnt fall down, the world didn't end like Daddy made it seem like was gonna happen, nothing happened. Fuck yeah! Daddy was wrong...my Daddy was wrong, Daddy: the wise old black man was wrong. HA!!! Five jumps later I hear a crack but remember what I said about kids and fun and common sense and how it leaves them? I bounce two or three more times before the branch snaps and my ass hits the ground. I take off, my Daddy's words flashing through my mind. "....those wasps WILL come after yo ass." Down that branch came along with that big ass red wasp next. I barely and I mean BARELY made it to the house. You never truly know how UGLY a bug truly is till you see its mouth parts up close...so many undulating mouth parts. Anyway that ladies and gentlemen is why I hate wasps.
