#thoughttrain

[gastronomicsynesthesia-blog]

#disconnected #commuting #moleskine #thoughttrain #handwritten Head to my website www.gastronomicsynesthesia.com or click on the link in my IG profile

[sinner5aint]

Thought Train 3:48

My name is not my name. Obviously what I’ve learned over the few years is that my individuality transcends just my name.. it goes deeper than that even. Even though for laments terms it stops at social security. It boils down to essence. Purpose. Drive. Fears. Desires. Things that we all have just go about differently. I have the name of a murderer. I’ve been treated as such for the past few years being blind sighted and set back for so long without my knowledge everything just seemed bleak and pointless. Having reproduced in this time period and breaking so many promises I had made before to myself and others brought me to an extreme low point for years. Where I constantly looked inside and towards so many people for comfort and direction that I lost sight of myself for a short while on the way. I was there in appearance. Even down to what everyone would call me. Then it became something deeper than that. Once I discovered I couldn’t get what I needed or I couldn’t have whatever or whoever I thought I needed to make it through whatever I was going through. I’d just sink deeper and deeper, finding myself more confused and more lost than I was the last time. It was dreadful and probably one of the most defining points in my life. I eventually sunk so low I turned to diving into myself on acid trips amidst the death of a new friend I thought I could rely or at least lean on to find my way back to where I needed to be. After that, it seemed like it could only get worse since I was so lost and depending on myself seemed like the worst option I could go to or amount to, it actually ended up being the exact opposite. I started to get more and more in tune with myself in all of my natures and sooner than I could realize, the love I always wanted to give away to anyone I readily felt and had available for myself. This changed and transformed my life in so many way it doesn’t even seem possible now that I look back on it. There were so many people I had attributed to my sanity, but now it’s a memory of the few people who actually did help me find my way back and people whom I just used as distractions to sway me from finding the path I walk now. I wish to be able to connect with some of these people again whenever things are better on my end to see if that makes any difference, but for now.... it’s me, myself, and I. Hip Hip.

[hashtag-startalk-blog]

Hmmm is what I do unproductive and immature? I waste a lot of time and I dislike responsibility so yeh maybe it is. Sick of fukn never being motivated to do anything. I guess motivation doesnt just come along