STATUS: closed for @izuluzakwe LOCATION: toni's dining room
Antonio’s been staring at this one donor for longer than he should have been by now, probably. But the man — or at least the man as a child — has such an interesting face, in a way that’s not bad, but it’s not — good, either. His interests include rock climbing and crocheting, which feels like a bullshit combination to Antonio, and it’s what finally makes him throw the folder into the ‘no’ pile. “Some of these can’t be real, can they?” He turns to Izzy as he grabs for his now-third glass of wine, expression contorted into something like disbelief.
“You expect me to believe that—” he grabs randomly at one of the folders from the ‘maybe’ pile and quickly scours through the hobbies section. “This ‘celebrated piano virtuoso’ with an IQ of 150 who ‘regularly exercises’ and ‘composes symphonies in his head while skydiving’ also has a thriving Etsy shop for hand-carved soap sculptures and ‘casually dabbles in falconry and experimental beekeeping’ in his spare time?”
He pauses, staring at the page for a beat, before looking back up at Izzy. “What the fuck does that even mean, experimental beekeeping? Is he training the bees to do their taxes?” Antonio closes the folder and sets it back down carelessly, shaking his head in incredulous disdain. “I swear to God, Izzy, the next one’s gonna tell me they won a Nobel Prize for inventing an app that teaches dolphins how to knit.” He snatches up another folder as he takes a drink of his wine, muttering, “This isn’t like online dating at all, Izulu, it’s somehow worse. How do you even root out the frauds?”