The roof hadn't changed much since the last time Amy saw it. It was still the image of smoothed brick that expanded atop the Desmond household, the flat surface where she had watched many evenings pass and stars vanish as the sun reemerged for its day's work in the sky. Today as she made her way up with Robbie behind her, she noticed an addition and her eyes widened with subtle, though clearly notable surprise.
She recalled her text with Robbie a few nights ago. He mentioned Kane and him were working on something, something that she would like. She wondered, (minutely), if this was it and then her mind clicked the realization into place. There wouldn't need to be a railing on the roof if no one came up there. The shadows and the air did not require confinement from accidentally falling or sliding off.
Amy turned, one hand on the railing, while the rest of her body faced Robbie. "This is what you were talking about, wasn't it?" A smile made its way onto her lips and remained there. The light weight feeling returned to her stomach, making her feel as if she held very little to her being at all, though she was beginning to get comfortable with it (as much of an oddity and confusion as it was.)
She was able to disengage herself from the conversation with Jordan that stirred up her feelings of a long lost friend. She still recalled the pain she was forcing herself not to cope with and she still recalled her own self telling her how stupid she was for not diving head first into it. The death of Cody was one challenge Amy Harrison backed down from and a part of herself, despised her cowardice.
The thoughts slipped farther and farther away as her fingers were wrapped around the bars and the feeling of like, or love, or somewhere in between still humbled her spirit. The bad didn't seem so bad right now, in this moment, and she realized yet again who was standing before her to ease her burdens.
It always turned out to be Robbie. How quaint it was.
"Hold on," she then spoke, another realization hitting her almost as simultaneously (though slightly delayed), as her happiness. "How did you get your mother to agree to this?" If it was anyone of the Mavericks who understood the workings of Karin, had seen her in action with her own observations, it was Amy. And it was a very slim chance that she would agree to the project on the roof.
Setting: The Park, May 1st, 8:00 PM
Cut For: Length
Robbie had spent the majority of the date wavering between being overly eager about everything and realizing the extent of his own mistakes on the date. Thus far things had been not exactly the way he had hoped though that had little to do with Amy and everything to do with his own behavior. He had managed to shout at the server when he asked if they were on a date before shutting himself up, got his own foot caught in the car door, and torn his jacket with an over eager wave of his knife at dinner. Somehow, Amy had decided to stay and not leave her idiotic best friend and /date/ behind in favor of going home. Once they were done with the dinner, Amy had picked for them to go the park, something that he hoped would be significantly harder to screw up. Everything was planned out so perfectly in his head, a wonderful dinner, a carefully selected outfit, and of course Amy as his date. But reality was much more messy than the many scenarios he had played out in his head since Amy had agreed to the date. Now, Robbie felt a bit like maybe he was disappointing Amy by not being something other than his awful self the whole night. "It's a pretty nice evening, isn't it?" Was all he could manage to say to her after walking in silence once they left his car. He couldn't shake all of his bad thoughts aside. Did she want to go home? Did she hate him? Was this a monumental disaster?
Amy couldn't say she held expectations for the date, for she had never been on a proper date. All she had at her disposal were stories, movies, and book interpretations, all of which Amy knew were never reality (even as close as people would like to believe.) Dinner was, entertaining, and though many saw Robbie's outburst at the server perplexing, Amy laughed, because it was Robbie. Going on a date didn't change his behavior. She didn't expect/want it to either. By the end of the dinner, he asked to do something she wanted to do. Craving simplicity, Amy chose the park nearby. She wanted to walk. With the warmth of the weather at her fingertips, why spend it indoors? "It is," she agreed with a gentle nod of her head. "We had quite a brutal winter. Too much snow and too much wind." Amy glanced at Robbie briefly through the corner of her eye, then tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I liked the restaurant. I also have to ask if your jacket will recover its unfortunate accident."
Robbie shrugged his shoulders before looking over at the jacket where it was torn. "Probably not. It'll be another casualty to my overzealous hand motions. Knowing my mom she'll probably throw it away before I can begin to explain what happened." Robbie bit down on the inside of his lip, watching Amy's movements with no hint of subtlety, he wondered whether or not it was a good idea to reach out and grab her hand. This was a date, they had kissed, but he still didn't know how any of this worked. Did she not want to be smothered by him constantly touching her? Was he the only one who craved to be closer to the other? There were so many questions that came with trying to date it was no wonder he was having a hard time not having an outburst or two at dinner. "It won't be long now until it's summer again. It feels like there's still so much to do. You aren't embarrassed to be here with me are you?"
Amy nodded as Robbie mentioned his mother. As close as she was to Karin, she had the oddest ways about her. "It's a shame she'll throw it away. It's a nice jacket and not to mention, I think it could make it through this ordeal." Amy continued to walk slowly next to Robbie. Her mind was considering what she should do on this date. Was Robbie expecting anything from her? The night they kissed was one of her favorite memories, the ending in particular when she spent the night in his t-shirt and bed. Though they hadn't done much talking since then. She decided to push it aside, for now. "I'm excited for summer. I like it being warm and the sun out late." She paused, shaking her head at Robbie's question. "Are you kidding? Of course not. I'm glad I'm here with you. I'm glad we're on a date."
Robbie could agree with Amy's assessment of his mother and his jacket. It did seem like a bit of a waste to just throw the thing away but what could he really do? "You could always keep it if you want it." Robbie pointed out, moving to take it off before she even had a chance to reply. "I mean I'm sure you could fix it or even just leave it as is, it's not like it's a big huge rip." Offering her the jacket with one hand, somewhere in the back of his head he remembered how guys draped their jackets around the shoulders of their dates but it never made much sense to him. The girls should have just put them on right? What was romantic about picking up a jacket after it inevitably fell off of their shoulders? "It won't be long now before everything is sticky hot and you'll be regretting saying that." He was mostly joking with her, as they both likely would take the humidity if they also got the freedom of summer and the lack of snow. "You are?" Her words took a moment to sink in before a smile slowly spread across his lips. "Because you know, you don't have to be here out of obligation. I mean if you don't want to do this or any of whatever "this" is, that's okay, Amy. I'm not expecting you to do things you don't want. I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do. I respect you and your right to think and do what you want even if that means you'd rather date someone other than me."
Amy would have normally weighed the decision in her mind, though Robbie beat her before reaching any conclusion. The jacket was removed from his body and extended outward towards her with a hand. She smiled as she took it, sliding it over herself. It settled comfortably on her frame. "I think I could fix it, or ask my mom when she's not working late." She laughed then. It was more than likely true that come the humidity, sweat, and stickiness, she would be crying for the howling days of winter. "I am." Amy matched Robbie's smile that appeared. "Though Robbie, you've known me for years. I do very little out of obligation, pity, or any other word resembling the meaning of pity and obligation. I am here tonight, with you, because I want to be. I am here because, I like you as I made clear on the night of Prom. Do you need a reminder?"
Robbie smiled at Amy, flustered by the thought that she was going to kiss him first. "Well maybe, I mean if...I mean verbal reminders are great. It's just going to take a while for me to let it all sink in. I mean, it's kind of new territory for me. For us." He was rambling as he picked at the tear in his jacket, taking tiny clumsy steps toward his beautiful friend, beautiful date. A girl that was infinitely interesting, all too smart, and caring to boot wanted to be on this date with him, she wanted to talk to him, she wanted to /kiss/ him and he just didn't understand how that could be the case but it was. In a quick motion, he grabbed her hand, squeezing it slightly too hard as his eager fingers wrapped around her tiny hand. His eagerness came from his excitement and disbelief about the situation, but if he kept staying in this stunned standoffish world he'd never get to the good parts. And he so desperately wanted all of the good parts with Amy. "How many dates do you want to go on with me?"
Amy: smiled softly, a smile of understanding. "It's new for me too. Dates and I, we've never got properly acquainted." This was new, though she wouldn't want it any other way with Robbie. There was a trust established between them over the years. She knew he was brilliant. She knew he respected her. She knew things would be okay, once the oddity of being together settled (or however they chose to label or not label their relationship later.) She didn't pull back as Robbie squeezed her hand (slightly too tight). Instead, she allowed her fingers permission to slide in between his. "I want many dates, definitely more than one." Amy met his eyes for a moment. "How many dates do you want to go on with me, Robbie Desmond?"
Robbie let out a half laugh, half squawk as she asked how many dates he wanted to go on with her. "I want to go on all of the dates with you. But since I understand that may be a little bit strong and intense for a seventeen year old to be saying to another seventeen year old I will say that I would like to go on many more with you. Like a lot of good dates. Hopefully better than this one. I mean I shouted at our waiter and he was just being nice. I didn't meant to shout I mean it wasn't even anything mean it was just..." Robbie let out a sigh, looking at the trees nearby, his eyes dodging from object to object so he wouldn't have to look at Amy's face. Despite the fact that she was still the same girl, she was now infinitely more intimidating and he couldn't figure out why. "I'd like to feel more comfortable on them though. It feels like a job interview."
Amy smirked as Robbie mentioned the waiter and the outburst he unleashed upon the innocent, unsuspecting, man. "This may make me a horrible person, though I found the shouting kind of funny. I think it was his facial expression, the kind of horror and confusion he had. I know you didn't mean it, though. I do." She squeezed his hand as a way of supporting her words. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel more comfortable on them? I don't want you thinking our dates are job interviews. I'm not expecting a suit and tie. I'm not expecting madame or you holding open every door we pass. This for example is nice. Walking and having a conversation, things we'd normally do. The hand holding is an added, welcomed, bonus."
Robbie couldn't believe she actually /liked/ the way he behaved. The poor waiter had no clue what he was in store for with Robbie, but Amy did. And yet she stayed and wanted to go out on another date with him already. Actually /multiple/ dates and if that wasn't a miracle he didn't want to know what qualified as one. "But I thought that dates were supposed to be...I thought I was supposed to try to impress you and not make a fool out of myself and that you were supposed to look at me and think /wow that Robbie's really something and wouldn't he be a great boyfriend/ not...whatever you must be thinking right now." Feeling self-conscious, he tugged at the collar of his shirt before finally looking at Amy. "Is this what you really want? To talk about anything not like...date stuff?"
Amy: shook her head slowly. "That's what society makes dates out to be. I've started to think about dates as an extension of our friendship. Robbie, I like you for you. I've always liked you for you. It took me a while to realize I liked you more than what being my best friend entailed. You don't have to impress me or make yourself better than you are. Firstly, I already think you're great. Secondly, I don't want you to change because we're on a date." She slowed her pace of moving through the park, feeling as if not moving so fast would place more emphasis on the conversation, on her focus on Robbie. "That's what I want. Not talking about date stuff. Just, talking. We can talk about what we are or want to be of course."
Robbie bounced the toe of his shoe against the ground beneath them, trying to figure out how this all fit into what he had previously learned about dating. Simply put, it didn't. None of this really made sense to him but he was trying to make it all fit into something more logical for his brain to wrap around. "I think you're going to have to pick the first topic then because I'm still a little fuzzy on the details because right now it sounds like you're saying we can have a debate right now but I can also hold your hands and you're probably going to let me kiss you at the end of the night. And that just...that's just too good to be true."
Amy could understand the confusion. Dating was complicated in itself. Juxtapose it to the examples set by society and it become even more muddled. When Robbie spoke, she let the words wrap around her mind and process. Was it that hard to do all of those things? Amy's logic told her no, though Robbie's told him something different and she understood why that may be, how that may be. Each of them had a different representation of dating. Amy was attempting to stray from the stuck in the mold model."You've picked up what I've said correctly. We can have a debate while you are holding my hand. And after we've settled the dispute, you still have permission to kiss me."
Robbie tilted his head. "Well what if we don't settle the dispute? I mean we don't always settle the dispute." Sometimes they just had to call a draw or agree to disagree, and while it was rare there were still the occasions where they'd get so annoyed with each other they'd have to walk away from the situation altogether. Though the prospect of a kiss would make him potentially more inclined to stick the fight out. "And then what about in front of other people? What then? What about my parents? What about your parents? What about at school or my car or anywhere really? Are there rules and regulations about this? I feel like there have to be." Things weren't this easy with Emily and while he knew better than to vocalize such a thought he was pretty sure there had to be a catch somewhere. So he wanted to figure out all of the catches now rather than hit snags in the road down the line. "It can't be that simple."
Amy wasn't certain how to explain what she was thinking in regards to her relationship with Robbie. There was a lot to unpack, to sort. It was a new realm for Amy and all the questions Robbie raised made her think harder. "We've gotten past disputes before haven't we? And disputes that aren't so easily clean cut, we usually fix. It can take a longer time, though it's sorted nonetheless. Besides, nothing is perfect. Our disputes can be the imperfections and I-I'm not anymore clear on the rules of this either. However I'd like to be able to kiss you anywhere. In your car, in school, in front of your parents, though that will be something to tell them." She squeezed Robbie's hand for a moment, then glancing at her feet. "It can be. It can be simple if we work it out."
Robbie arched his eyebrow as he listened to her. "Aren't you going to get sick of me if you're debating with me and in my car with me and kissing me and tell - wait - tell my parents?" Robbie knew this was an inevitable thing in the course of their friendship, but he did not want his mother nosing her way around the finer details of their relationship just yet. Not when he didn't even know what the finer details were or if it was really a relationship and not just something in between friendship and being her boyfriend. "How do we work it out exactly?"
Amy "I'm not going to get sick you, Robbie. In terms of your parents, we're going to have to at some point, right?" Assuming this became something bigger than a kiss a prom, they couldn't tip toe the line around telling Karin and Robert. Amy wasn't certain as to how they'd react. She wasn't certain that they wouldn't try to dig deeper into their relationship, though it would have to be done out of respect, out of not figuring out ways to hide what they potentially were. "We can set rules," she finally said, returning to Robbie's question. "Lay everything out in the open right now."
Robbie couldn't help but let out a laugh. "You're going to get sick of me. Hell, I get sick of me." Of course she didn't have to deal with his constant stream of thoughts because she went home and had different classes and even worked occasionally. "Right now? You want to figure this out in the middle of our first date?" Really, he shouldn't have been so surprised because that was very much like Amy to do that, he was actually surprised that he hadn't thought of it first.
Amy laughed, realizing how silly that must have sounded. It sounded even more silly when Robbie echoed her exact words. Though she stuck with them, nodding in persistence. "That is indeed what I said. Better now than later, don't you think?"
Robbie shrugged and then nodded. "Well I guess you have a point. What do you propose, Miss Harrison? I suppose you've thought about this already." He knew she had, just like he had even if he wasn't prepared to dive into what all their /whatever this was/ would entail that night.
Amy smiled sheepishly at Robbie's comment, the way he seemed to know that she had a plan laid out. Though it wasn't so much a plan as it was random thoughts and things she had been thinking about. "I think we should start by laying out what we think we are. As I said earlier, I think this is an extension of our friendship, something new, something that I'd like to explore. I don't think we should focus on what's expected of us being in whatever this is. You're still Robbie. I'm still Amy. I want to be able to stay over your house. I want to be able to debate with you. I want to be able to go on what is socially sanctioned as a date with you. I want to be able to hold your hand like I am now. I want to be able to, I guess, get to know you better in a different way than before and I'll let you do the same for me."
Robbie was with her right until the end and then he wasn't really sure what to say about it. "I don't...I'm not sure I understand. I mean you know practically everything there is to know about me. What are you missing that you haven't already figured out? I'm a little lost because the only think I can think of is probably too literal for you to mean that." Unless...no, no, he had to keep his mind focused on what was happening right then and there. "We can go on more socially sanctioned dates and hold hands stuff. And all of that other stuff doesn't have to change I guess."
Amy in the midst of her speech didn't take into account how the end of what she said may have come across. She didn't mean it in the physical way (though it was possible in the future, in the very far future). She shook her head, a very faint blush coating her cheeks. "No, I didn't mean it like that. I-that's, that came out a little wrong. I'm sorry. It was a metaphor gone wrong. Call Berkins and tell her to hang me." She laughed, the sound weaker under the influence of embarrassment. "I don't want all the other stuff to change."
Robbie As Robbie watched Amy speak, a smile started to form on his lips. "I'll hold off on telling her for now, Amy. I mean, let's think about it this way. If I do tell her, then you won't be around for any more of these socially sanctioned date things and I'd like to have another chance to not screw it up. Because no matter what you say, I'm a thousand percent certain that things would have gone much better had I not yelled at the waiter. I mean he could have spit in your food to get revenge on me, you could have eaten tarnished food and it was all my fault. How will you ever forgive me for that?" All of this was a brand new idea for him but he was beginning to see that this could possibly be the best of all worlds.
Amy "I have absolutely no idea how I'll forgive you. I'm sure I'll think of something with my brilliant, never ceasing mind," Amy teased. She flashed Robbie a small smile, one that was less shy, instead more confident, more lined with her usual confidence. "I do however, like the idea of another socially sanctioned date. I like the idea very much."
Robbie "Your mind is brilliant and never ceasing. It's like it expands out into space itself just fills up all of everything and maybe that's why the world, and space especially, is so stunning." He hand't meant to go on a rambling compliment journey but there it was regardless of his own wises. "I'm going to take you on another socially sanctioned date then. A better one where no waiters will be scorned or give you tainted foods."
Amy couldn't stop the light blush that grazed her cheeks. She looked at Robbie from the corner of her eye, smiling. Her mind was one of the assets about herself she considered the most valuable and Robbie, had always took the time to compliment it which made her all the more proud of having it. "I will happily allow another date. There is something I have to ask you though, that I've been thinking about a while now."
Robbie bit down on his lip and arched his eyebrows at her before nodding slowly. "Alright so what's the question?" Robbie couldn't think of anything that she'd want to ask him right then so he was especially curious.
Amy "The question," Amy started, (dangling somewhat on the element of suspense) "...Is...." Another pause for suspense. "Can I kiss you?"
Robbie didn't hide the fact that he was overjoyed to hear such a thing come out of her mouth. "I thought you'd never ask." He replied quickly before stepping closer and leaning in, all too happy to feel her warm, soft lips against his.
Amy simply smiled as Robbie leaned in and she too did the same until their lips met. It was an odd thing, being kissed and experiencing a fluttering within her stomach, as if she were lighter than the air itself. She wasn't going to question it (for once, something left untapped by Amy's curiosity). Instead, she allowed it to happen, her body moving closer to Robbie's, the gap between their chests disappearing. His lips were soft, comforting, a warmth unable to be displaced. And Amy wouldn't mind kissing him for a long time, wouldn't mind being entangled with Robbie in such a way as she was with him now, because it felt more than right.
The evening started off quietly, too quiet for the normality that Amy was used to. After arriving home from school, she sat herself on the couch and started on her homework. Calculus, Advanced English, Economics. A piece of cake. A little bit of reading here, getting X to equal some unfathomable, irrational number, and then to round things off, an introduction to the stock market.
She was midway into the Pride and Prejudice, which she despised, when she heard the familiar slamming of her front door. Amy gathered her things, shoved them messily into her bag, and raced up the stairs.
Peter, Petey Harrison stumbled into the living room. He surveyed the empty scene. There was a shattering of glass, the new lamp that Dianne replaced for the third time perhaps, a picture hanging from the wall, the front of the television. That happened before. Amy remembered it clearly as her father raised a fist to swing at her older brother. He ducked and his fist met a painful, blood drawing fate.
Amy wasn’t sorry, then, except for mother having to replace the television. They weren’t cheap and money was a fabric running thin.
Now inside her room, Amy listened by the door. If footsteps grazed her ear in the slightest, she was leaving. She didn’t want another bruise to hide tonight.
As if on cue, stomping arose. “Where is ev-everyone hi-ding?” The question was interrupted by hiccups, liquid drank too fast.
Amy grabbed her phone, tossed a few bits of clothing into her school bag and made the journey to her window. She hoisted it up, bent forward, and slipped out onto the longest branch of the tree that was by her home. The tree granted her many escapes before, this was one of them.
Her feet hit the ground and Amy sent a text to Robbie:
Hey Robbie, I’m coming over. Yes, I’m okay before your worry senses start tingling. I need to crash at yours. x Amy
She didn’t check for a reply. She instead walked to Robbie’s, the journey that was wired into her brain after all these years. There was a small part of her that felt silly for how she always showed up during these situations, a mess of wrinkled clothes, distraught hair with the occasional leaf stuck in the strands, a mask of vulnerability more visible than her skin.
Amy inhaled, the thoughts disappearing. They weren’t important as she knocked on the front door of the Desmond household, rocking on her heels as she waited for an answer.
