@badassjetsteele ~ continued by Rose
Rose hadn’t really intended for the mood to grow so heavy, but she could tell that she hadn’t just been stating the obvious. The dhampir had also struck a cord with Adrian. And to be fair, she should have known better. Hadn’t he been the one to shock his parents with promises of raising little dhampir babies, while Rose herself went out and made a living protecting other Moroi from danger?
Until now, she hadn’t realized just how serious he’d been in his desires for a different kind of future than the one laid out by his parents. Rose had just discarded it as a somewhat childish attempt at trying to earn his parents’ disapproval. It had been uncomfortable then and the thought now still made her feel the same way. Probably because of the mention of children, which wasn’t really in any of her future plans.
“I’d rather die for you than a lot of the other Moroi out there,’ she told him, trying to lighten the mood a little. It was true though, from as early as she could remember, it had all been about them. Protect the Moroi, at any cost. And she didn’t or wouldn’t question it. That was just the way it was, and Rose knew that nothing would ever change that now. And although she’d likely step in front of any Moroi in trouble, it being so ingrained in her, the dhampir had been honest in saying she’d rather die saving Adrian than anyone else. Well, except Lissa perhaps, but the lengths she would go for the one she’d been bonded with was general knowledge by now.
Not ever having considered a life outside of becoming Lissa’s guardian and protecting the princess, Rose appeared utterly dumbstruck at the question. What did she want to be? It seemed an easy enough question, but it wasn’t. Never in her entire life, had she ever really considered there to be any other possility than fulffilling her duty towards the Moroi. Not even when she’d been living on the outside with Lissa, because even that had all been about keeping her charge safe. Was there really anything else she COULD be?
“I don’t know. I don’t think there’s anything else I can want to be for myself, because that would mean giving up Lissa and I can’t do that.” The honesty stung her like a bee with every word, because saying it only made it that much more true. Rose was stuck. Where she would have rebelled against it to a certain degree in the past, free will was non-existent to her now, because she was just too good a dhampir.
“So I guess best I can hope for is being your sexy, not-so-secret lover until they ship you off to marry some beautiful, tall Moroi girl.” Rose winked, chuckling softly as she moved forward to sit on his lap, wrapping her arms around him as she did. it was time to get him out of whatever mood she had carelessly put him in, and bring out her more funloving boyfriend to brighten her day. “And maybe even then.”
Unlike Adrian, she wasn’t going to delude herself into thinking he’d ever end up marrying her. And even if he was willing and she would give into this love which was undeniably growing for him as time passed, she knew she’d never want to ruin him in such a way. For a Moroi to actually marry one of her kind, they might just commit social suicide. It just wasn’t accepted.
