THREE FOR TWO
December 3, 1975
Directed by Charles Walters ~ Written by James Eppy
Synopsis
Lucille Ball and Jackie Gleason play three married couples in three stories about married life.
Cast
Lucille Ball (Sally / Rita / Pauline) was born on August 6, 1911 in Jamestown, New York. She began her screen career in 1933 and was known in Hollywood as ‘Queen of the B’s’ due to her many appearances in ‘B’ movies. With Richard Denning, she starred in a radio program titled “My Favorite Husband” which eventually led to the creation of “I Love Lucy,” a television situation comedy in which she co-starred with her real-life husband, Latin bandleader Desi Arnaz. The program was phenomenally successful, allowing the couple to purchase what was once RKO Studios, re-naming it Desilu. When the show ended in 1960 (in an hour-long format known as “The Lucy-Desi Comedy Hour”) so did Lucy and Desi’s marriage. In 1962, hoping to keep Desilu financially solvent, Lucy returned to the sitcom format with “The Lucy Show,” which lasted six seasons. She followed that with a similar sitcom “Here’s Lucy” co-starring with her real-life children, Lucie and Desi Jr., as well as Gale Gordon, who had joined the cast of “The Lucy Show” during season two. Before her death in 1989, Lucy made one more attempt at a sitcom with “Life With Lucy,” also with Gordon.
Jackie Gleason (Herb / Fred / Mike) was born in 1916. He became one of America’s most recognized all-around entertainers but is perhaps best remembered for his iconic character of bus driver Ralph Kramden on “The Honeymooners” which was seen on CBS just like “I Love Lucy.” On “The Lucy Show” Lucy Carmichael frequently referred to Gleason even borrowing his “Away we go” exit in a couple of episodes. In 1968 he did a wordless cameo on “Lucy Visits Jack Benny” (HL S1;E2) as bus driver Ralph Kramden. He died in 1987.
Gino Conforti (Waiter in “Herb & Sally”) began his TV acting career in 1968 and has been continually working since, although mostly as one-off characters. He had a recurring role as Felipe on “Three’s Company” from 1980 to 1982, a series Lucille Ball admired. He played the burglar in “Lucy Plays Cops and Robbers” (HL S6;E14) in 1974. He was also seen in “Lucy Gets Lucky” earlier in 1975.
Vanda Barra (Hostess in “Fred & Rita”) made over two dozen appearances on “Here’s Lucy” as well as appearing in "Lucy Gets Lucky” (with Dean Martin) earlier in 1975 . She was seen in half a dozen episodes of “The Lucy Show.” Barra was Lucille Ball’s cousin-in-law by marriage to Sid Gould.
Irene Sale (Woman #1 in “Fred & Rita”) was a stunt double and played Louise (uncredited) on Desilu's original “Star Trek” in 1966. This is her penultimate screen credit.
Eddie Garrett (Man #1 in “Fred & Rita”) did two episodes of “Here's Lucy” and also played a party guest in Mame (1974). He retired in 1986 and died in 2010.
Mel Pape (Man at Table in “Fred & Rita”) was Jackie Gleason's long-time personal assistant. As such he played small roles in such Gleason projects as Smokey and the Bandit (1977), Nothing in Common (1986), and The Sting II (1983). He died in 1995.
Due to the darkness of the nightclub only Lucille Ball and Jackie Gleason's faces are actually visible on screen. Barra, Sale, Garrett and Pape remain in shadows.
Tammi Bula (Maureen in “Mike & Pauline”) played the recurring role of Marcia Woolery on “The Waltons.” One of her six episodes aired a month before this special.
Maureen is Mike and Pauline's daughter. She is engaged to marry her boyfriend Steven.
Paul Linke (Alfred in “Mike & Pauline”) also appeared on “The Waltons” in an episode that aired the day after this special was first broadcast. He spoke at the memorial service for his good friend John Ritter, who had appeared on “Life With Lucy” in 1986.
Alfred is Mike and Pauline's son. He recently broke up with his girlfriend Betty Dorsey.
Director Charles Walters was an uncredited director on Ziegfeld Follies (1945) which starred Lucille Ball, although not in the segment he staged. He also directed two episodes of “Here's Lucy” and will also direct “What Now Catherine Curtis?” in 1976.
This special is billed as “Renee Taylor and Joseph Bologna's 'Three for Two'” which may indicate that the material was originally written for the married comedy team (who often performed together) instead of Lucy and Gleason. This is James Eppy's only screen credit which may indicate that this was merely a pseudonym for Taylor and Bologna as writers. Screen writer Joseph Bologna will act in Lucille Ball's next special “What Now Catherine Curtis?”
This was Lucille Ball's third prime time special after the end of “Here's Lucy” in 1974. The first two were “Happy Anniversary and Goodbye” and “Lucy Gets Lucky” nine months earlier.
This special is available on DVD from MPI video or can be streamed online. It was originally aired on CBS in the USA and ITV in the UK.
There is no studio audience or laugh track.
Although he made a wordless walk-on cameo as bus driver Ralph Kramden in the second-aired “Here's Lucy”, this is the first time Lucille Ball and Jackie Gleason have acted together on screen. This continues Ball's employment of “Honeymooners” alumni:
Art Carney (Ed Norton) in “Happy Anniversary and Goodbye” and “What Now Catherine Curtis?”
Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden) in “Life With Lucy” (1986)
Jane Kean (Trixie Norton from 1966 on) in “The Lucy Show” (1966)
In form and content, this material resembles Neil Simon's 1968 play and 1971 film Plaza Suite, which is also divided into three stories with actors playing multiple roles. The fact that the first story of the special takes place in a hotel suite strengthens the comparison. The year after this special aired, Simon wrote a similar play titled California Suite which was filmed in 1978.
Like the two previous Lucille Ball Specials, the show reunites many “Here's Lucy” production staff, including hairstylist Irma Kusely, prop master Kenneth Westcott, costumer Renita Reachi, and script supervisor Dorothy Aldworth.
This special was berated by the critics and the ratings were not as large as Lucille Ball's previous specials. CBS worried that it would lose its number one place after more than twenty seasons at the top. This pretty much spells the end of CBS's confidence in television shows featuring Lucille Ball.
“Herb & Sally” (20 minutes) ~ Lucy and Jackie Gleason play Herb and Sally Wolbert, a middle-aged couple from Cleveland with grown children who are on a month-long vacation in Italy after 24 years of marriage. After Rome they are traveling on to Venice, Capri, and the ruins of Pompeii.
As Sally, Lucille Ball has on a black wig with silver highlights. She wears a peach chiffon nightgown (which she also owns in blue and black).
The story opens with Sally singing a carefree verse of “Volare,” a song that Dean Martin sung on the previous Lucille Ball special “Lucy Gets Lucky.”
Oops! When the waiter hands Herb the room service menu, it opens far enough to see that Jackie Gleason has his lines written on the inside. Gleason was not a big fan of rehearsing, while Lucille Ball was a stickler for it.
SALLY: “I gave up a successful career to marry you!” HERB: “You were a screw counter in a hardware store.” SALLY: “I was learning the business.”
Lucy Barker will be co-owner of a hardware store in Lucille Ball's last television series “Life With Lucy” (1986). Herb reminds her that his own career as a bamboo furniture salesman is no fun. Herb demeans himself by entertaining buyers in nightclubs and doing his Peter Lorre impersonation.
HERB: “Do you mean you don't like my impersonation of Peter Lorre?” SALLY: “It stinks, Herb.” HERB: “Then our whole marriage is based on a lie.”
To prove his Peter Lorre impersonation is good, he does it for the waiter: “Did you get the information, Mr. Miller? You didn't get the information, Mr. Miller? You were supposed to get the information, Mr. Miller.” Gleason is paraphrasing Lorre's dialogue from All Through the Night (1942) in which Gleason himself co-starred with Lorre, Humphrey Bogart and Ludwig Stössel as Mr. Miller. The waiter incorrectly guesses he is imitating Gina Lollobrigida!
HERB: (to Sally) “I'm fat! I'm fat! And every pound I've put on you've put there!”
Sally says there are three men in Cleveland that keep her sane: Lou Fergazi, her butcher; Andre Molan, her decorator; and Stu Bridgeman, her family doctor.
SALLY: (yelling to the street from the balcony) “I'm a pleasure object!” HERB: “She's 45 and in two months she'll be a grandmother! You hear that? A grandmother!”
Lucy Ricardo visited Rome in one of the most memorable episodes of “I Love Lucy,” “Lucy's Italian Movie” (ILL S5;E23), where she soaks up local color for a movie role by stomping grapes with her feet.
“Fred & Rita” (5:30 minutes) ~ Lucy and Gleason play banker Fred N. Schneider and homemaker Rita Fledgeman, a couple carrying on a discrete affair and trying to decide whether they should tell their spouses. They meet at Cookie's Tip-Toe Inn, a dimly lit hideaway nightclub.
RITA: “I Love the touch of your aftershave. The sound of your hair when it moves.” FRED: “And I love the smell of your boa.”
Lucille Ball wears an upswept blonde wig and a feather boa. At first, both Fred and Rita wear sunglasses, despite the darkness of the club.
RITA: “I'm only alive when I'm with you. I'm dead at the supermarket. I'm dead at the PTA. I'm dead at the beauty parlor.” FRED: “You think you're dead? I'm dead at the bank. I'm dead at the little league games.” RITA: “Are you dead with Myrna?” FRED: “Of course I'm dead with Myrna. Why? Aren't you dead with Harry?” RITA: “You know I'm dead with Harry. I live only for you!”
Fred is married to Rita's best friend Myrna. Rita is married to Harry, Fred's second cousin. They've been married twenty years.
RITA: (about a possible time to meet again) “The only possible day is Veteran's Day.” FRED: “I'd love to, but I'm marching.” RITA: “You'd rather march than go away with me?” FRED: “I can cheat on my wife, but not the National Guard.”
“Mike & Pauline” ~ Lucy and Gleason play domineering parents involved in a New Year's Eve family crisis as they are forced to recognize their college-aged children's declaration of independence.
As Pauline, Lucille Ball wears a honey-brown wig, topped with a paper crown (because it is New Year's Eve).
Mike lists his best friends as Johnny Bridges, Georgie Shry, Tommy Ritzo, Eddie Kunz, and Lefty Bryan.
MIKE: (about his best friends) “I always listened to their viewpoints and made sure that I had all the facts – before I punched each one of them out. It happens to be the code I live by: logic – and then violence.”
Mike mentions the family's New Year's Eve traditions of watching the ball drop in Times Square, listening to Guy Lombardo, and the kids watching Mike and Pauline dance to “Apple Blossom Time.” "(I'll Be With You) In Apple Blossom Time" was written by Albert Von Tilzer and Neville Fleeson in 1920. It was introduced on big screen by the Andrews Sisters in their 1941 film Buck Privates. In “Lucy and the Andrews Sisters” (HL S2;E6, above), Lucille Ball, Lucie Arnaz, and Patty Andrews sing it as part of a medley of the Andrews Sisters' greatest hits. Guy Lombardo was mentioned on “Lucy and the Drum Contest” (HL S3;E4) when Harry calls him his favorite musician.
MIKE: (to his grown children, angry) “Nobody's going anywhere. No how, no way, no chance! The case is dismissed! Through! Finished! Done!” PAULINE: (calmly) “Now that's fair. Your father's very fair.”
Only one episode of a Lucille Ball sitcom was ever set on New Year's Eve: “Chris's New Year's Eve Party” (TLS S1;E14), originally aired on December 31, 1962.
Alfred wants to quit college and become a nightclub comic. Mike tries in vain to give his son some pointers about the timing of his jokes. Before being signed to a film contract, Jackie Gleason worked as a nightclub comic at New York's Club 18.
In the end, the children go out to be with their dates and Mike and Pauline watch the ball drop on TV to the strains of “Auld Lang Syne.” As they dance in the living room to “Apple Blossom Time” Mike and Pauline become Lucy and Jackie dancing together as the credits roll.
This Date in Lucy History - December 3rd
“Men Are Messy” (ILL S1;E8) ~ December 3, 1951
“The Ricardos Visit Cuba” (ILL S6;E9) ~ December 3,1956
“The Celebrity Next Door” (LDCH S1;E2) ~ December 3, 1957
"Vivian Sues Lucy" (TLS S1;E10) ~ December 3, 1962
“Harry Catches Gold Fever” (HL S6;E12) ~ December 3, 1973
The writing here (whoever is responsible) is what makes the difference. The first segment is familiar territory and feels expected. The shortest segment is the best written and most interesting. The final scene is a family dramedy with some unfunny inferences to spouse abuse and violence. Ball and Gleason are not Meryl Streep and Laurence Olivier, but they do well enough to make it a mostly entertaining hour.
