#threemonthdatingchallenge

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Bad Idea Bear DATE 10

Mr. Keen

Mr. Keen and I met while I was out with Queen of Silks in the lead up to Christmas.  It had been a busy night with perhaps a few too many glasses of wine consumed, so I may or may not have had some wine goggles on.. Anyway, Mr. Keen and I had been snogging almost all night (as you do when you're that merry and it's nearly Christmas).. I'm sure there had been mistletoe somewhere in the vicinity...

He took my number and we exchanged a few texts over the next few days - they were funny and he seemed cool.  I remember him being tall, dark and ok looking - but as is my fashion - a really nice guy. He asked for a date (a few times because I accidentally kept forgetting to answer the question - honestly!) but it just seems to have made him more keen!  

**I am learning some serious magic here.   I'm having texts with a few guys I've met out/ through friends/ online, and the more flippant I am, or the more fun/ funny/ couldn't care, the more they are telling me they want a relationship (not indicating with me necessarily, just that they are serious about getting serious), the more they text, the more they ask me out!!! WHO KNEW! lol.. and I am having a BALL! 

So eventually we met for a drink yesterday and there was a bit of a problem with his phone so timings and places got muddled up.. slightly irritating being left to stand in the freezing cold for 20 minutes and then he made us walk 10 minutes down the road to a bar when there were about 5 we passed along the way.. I suspected it was because he was trying to get closer to where his car was parked so he didn't have far to walk after the drinks, or the bar was cheap for his pocket.  I made a joke of it being for his car and he assured me it wasn't. I'm still not sure I believe him but hey-ho, I'm not one to let it ruin my night... just make a mental note for when I am assessing whether to date him again or not.

At first I wasn't feeling it. I thought we might be too different but as we started finding common ground, things looked up a bit.  We chatted about travelling for the most part and then he asked if I was dating.  I told him I'd been on one on the weekend (to the sports game) and he kind of got defeated and said I probably thought this was a lame date. I told him no, it's a quick get together and I look for connection more anyway.  I then also reminded him that he didn't know what this guy was offering and how I felt about that.. then he completely turned around.. He started telling me how he wants to see me again and we can go have a great date and he'll raise his game and and and.... it was quite something but it seemed like it was from a genuine place and I like that he's so open and honest.  Maybe he's not totally refined and might need a bit of teaching/ guidance, but you know, I believe there's opportunity for love to grow anywhere.  And as I said to him, I'm dating with a variety of people because you never know where you'll find it.

As it came time to go he said he'd walk the opposite way to me at the door - I mentioned his car again and he quickly backtracked realising he sounded totally ungentlemanly and then said he would walk me to the station.. I told him he really didn't need to (mock damsel in distress), but he insisted and to be honest, I'm not going to stop a man doing the right thing.  See what I mean about needing guidance.. I think he may not have been on many dates/ used to girls who accept whatever a guy will give them...

As I write this blog, he's already texted a few times to say he's looking forward to the next one.  He is sweet, I'm not 100% certain he's right for me but I like that he's genuine and a nice guy.  Definitely worth a second date so I'll keep you posted ;p

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Bad Idea Bear DATE 9

Mr. Sportsman

I met him while out with a friend one night and there had been an instant chemistry.. looking back, even though we had bounced between a few bars, we had stayed together the whole night - chatting, flirting, dancing... so I was pleased when he texted a few days later to ask me out (to watch a live sports game with him).  A great date idea!  On the day, we met at the station and instantly I was teasing and flirting with him again.. I felt so comfortable around him.  And very attracted to him!  As you'll see from my profile, I tend not to go for the guys I'm attracted to, rather favouring the safe, nice guys.  But that was before I learnt my lesson with Mr. Got My Attention (see date 7) and now I'm really on form! Anyway, so back to Mr. Sportsman... Thanks to his sports, he's got a very strong body with these beautiful, muscular arms that I kept touching using any excuse I could find.  I also like that he's taller than me and has a gentle accent that kind of makes me melt a bit.. We chatted easily about various things on the train, even when we were squished up together when the carriage got crammed with other people going to the same game. It could have been awkward but it wasn't and soon we were at the game where he bought us drinks and we carried on chatting about the countries we're from, our pets and generally finding out a little bit more about each other.  The atmosphere at the game was brilliant and we hung out like we had known each other for years.  I felt so at ease and comfortable with him and because of that was just totally myself (the cheeky me) and overall we had the perfect mix of banter, touching, laughing, flirting and finding out about each other.  After the game we avoided the crowds heading to the station and instead took a stroll, arm in arm, to another nearby station which had a cosy pub next door, where we had a couple of drinks before heading back to our local area (we live relatively close to each other).  We ended up going for a quick dinner and then for another drink before heading home - so all in all, a 7 hour date.. not bad! 

I get the sense we may be slightly different on the lifestyle side of things (he might be a little less open to trying new things and more on the 'quiet life' side of the scale) but I think he's smart, fun, kind, healthy, a total gentleman and has already made it clear he's not just looking for a fun time.. He hasn't asked for it yet, but I'm really looking forward to date 2. I just hope he asks for it...  

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Bad Idea Bear DATE 8

Lacking in Confidence Guy

The second I saw him, I knew I didn't feel it.  He looked like his picture which I had actually been quite attracted to, but in person, he lacked a certain air.. I couldn't put my finger on it, but for some reason a voice in my head said 'run...now!'.. I resisted because I'm too polite but you know when you know.  We had agreed to go for a walk in the park so I thought I'd do that and then make my excuses.  As we walked, he was polite and made conversation - some of it a bit random - I think he was nervous but because I was trying to fight the voice in my head, I just couldn't think of any small talk to help the situation as I would normally do.  I could tell though, that he was really sweet which made it easier to find a way to make the next hour as pleasant as possible. We chatted easily and about some really deep and meaningful things so at least the conversation was good... but he kept dropping in unprompted and unexpected comments about why he wasn't good enough, or how uneducated he was, or that he was sorry he hadn't made an effort with his clothes (he looked fine).. I can see he was trying to explain himself rather than trying to put himself down, but it came across badly and did nothing for my already flooded chemistry centre.  After our walk around the park (more a sprint!), I felt bad saying I had to go so I agreed to go for a drink at the pub.  It was a bit odd that he didn't sit directly across from me at the table (he sat at on the opposite corner) but I realised as I got to know him a bit, that he did that out of perceived gentlemanliness.  He pulled a few rehearsed and cheesy lines (one of which I totally fell for so kudos to him for that one) and otherwise, like before, we had some very deep conversation about real stuff - which appeals to me - so at least I could enjoy the conversation.  At the end I made my excuses and he asked to see me again.. I didn't have the heart to say no outright but played it casual and thought I had said something along the lines of 'maybe, I'll see' but he then said 'great, we both want to see each other again' so perhaps I hadn't been as clear as I should have been.  I think I'll have to do the 'you're great, but I've met someone in the real world' text.. because I did - two of them - and I've got dates lined up for after Christmas.. :)