Three Month Dating Challenge

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Dungeons & Dragons DATE 13:

Brussels

After a few days of tindering with this Brussels chap I exchange phone numbers and we carry on via whatsapp. My subject of interest is a French speaking chap with reasonable level of English, it causes a few misunderstandings but overall open and direct conversation. Which I like!

He even brings op his ex, not in a bad way, more to show he is emotionally adept and we exchange a few holiday pics (nothing dodgy, but I feel I get to know him a little better, he went to Lapland with dogs and slays, it looks cool). The day comes I'm back in Brussels and we arrange to meet. I'm excited as I usually end up with room service (I'm there for work) so going to a bar or even restaurant would be a genuine treat....... Nothing is further from the truth; he thinks he is picking me up in his car from the hotel, eeehh I don't think so! My suspicion is on full alert now, how does this guy have other plans or is he really naive? 

He does live just outside of Brussels so maybe he is just being kind, driving the car anyway. Instead I get a cab to what is a lovely wine bar, one where we can help ourselves via a clever credit system. We have one glass each and chat, it's nice to meet him, but I do feel awkward. Also if he is driving why did he suggest a wine bar which is not that central? He can only drink one glass and there no restaurants nearby, unless we drive somewhere....no thanks again. He does order a cab for me and we say or goodbyes. I think his intentions were nothing but friendly, but you can't be careful enough! We exchange a few messages after wards, but that's that, definitely not again. Not sure I'll do this again, maybe I'll try the hotel bar next time! 

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Queen of Silks date 20

I ate more than him

Considering he is such a nice guy I decided I should do my best to overlook the height issue and go on another date with the motorbike racer. He’d sent a message to me while I was away with a photo of himself not fitting into his racing trousers - ‘they were meant to be a 30” waist’ he said. Oh dear, 30” is quite small, and meeting him for the second time I could’ve sworn he’d shrunk in height in the past two weeks. I’d now put him at about 5ft 6”, meaning if I wore heels the top of his head would reach my chin. Oh deary deary me.

We had a lovely dinner and a couple of drinks and I tried, I really did. But I just. Can’t. Do. It!. I even tried getting drunk to see if that would help but unfortunately it didn’t.

I know it sounds bad that I'm heightest but I want to defend myself. Height is really the only thing I have an issue with. I’m not too fussed about what a guy looks like, as long as he’s keeping himself in reasonable shape, but I just can’t date a guy that is shorter, and weighs less than me. As a person who loves food the most embarrassing moment on the date came when I ordered a much larger meal than him and finished mine off. He didn’t finish his.

I looked like such a porker. I don’t like feeling like a porker.

I’m annoyed at myself for not being attracted to him - he’s a lovely guy who has done everything right so far. But the attraction’s just not there. We get along well and I enjoy his company; I want to tell him I’d like to be friends (genuinely) but I know men don’t like hearing that. He’s been texting me quite a bit, I’m going to have to get the balls to do it. I just feel really bad telling him I’m not keen.

So alas, I continue my quest to find someone I have a little chemistry with. Will I be able to find that in London? I’m now having thoughts about leaving this big cold city.

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Bad Idea Bear DATE 10

Mr. Keen

Mr. Keen and I met while I was out with Queen of Silks in the lead up to Christmas.  It had been a busy night with perhaps a few too many glasses of wine consumed, so I may or may not have had some wine goggles on.. Anyway, Mr. Keen and I had been snogging almost all night (as you do when you're that merry and it's nearly Christmas).. I'm sure there had been mistletoe somewhere in the vicinity...

He took my number and we exchanged a few texts over the next few days - they were funny and he seemed cool.  I remember him being tall, dark and ok looking - but as is my fashion - a really nice guy. He asked for a date (a few times because I accidentally kept forgetting to answer the question - honestly!) but it just seems to have made him more keen!  

**I am learning some serious magic here.   I'm having texts with a few guys I've met out/ through friends/ online, and the more flippant I am, or the more fun/ funny/ couldn't care, the more they are telling me they want a relationship (not indicating with me necessarily, just that they are serious about getting serious), the more they text, the more they ask me out!!! WHO KNEW! lol.. and I am having a BALL! 

So eventually we met for a drink yesterday and there was a bit of a problem with his phone so timings and places got muddled up.. slightly irritating being left to stand in the freezing cold for 20 minutes and then he made us walk 10 minutes down the road to a bar when there were about 5 we passed along the way.. I suspected it was because he was trying to get closer to where his car was parked so he didn't have far to walk after the drinks, or the bar was cheap for his pocket.  I made a joke of it being for his car and he assured me it wasn't. I'm still not sure I believe him but hey-ho, I'm not one to let it ruin my night... just make a mental note for when I am assessing whether to date him again or not.

At first I wasn't feeling it. I thought we might be too different but as we started finding common ground, things looked up a bit.  We chatted about travelling for the most part and then he asked if I was dating.  I told him I'd been on one on the weekend (to the sports game) and he kind of got defeated and said I probably thought this was a lame date. I told him no, it's a quick get together and I look for connection more anyway.  I then also reminded him that he didn't know what this guy was offering and how I felt about that.. then he completely turned around.. He started telling me how he wants to see me again and we can go have a great date and he'll raise his game and and and.... it was quite something but it seemed like it was from a genuine place and I like that he's so open and honest.  Maybe he's not totally refined and might need a bit of teaching/ guidance, but you know, I believe there's opportunity for love to grow anywhere.  And as I said to him, I'm dating with a variety of people because you never know where you'll find it.

As it came time to go he said he'd walk the opposite way to me at the door - I mentioned his car again and he quickly backtracked realising he sounded totally ungentlemanly and then said he would walk me to the station.. I told him he really didn't need to (mock damsel in distress), but he insisted and to be honest, I'm not going to stop a man doing the right thing.  See what I mean about needing guidance.. I think he may not have been on many dates/ used to girls who accept whatever a guy will give them...

As I write this blog, he's already texted a few times to say he's looking forward to the next one.  He is sweet, I'm not 100% certain he's right for me but I like that he's genuine and a nice guy.  Definitely worth a second date so I'll keep you posted ;p

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Bad Idea Bear DATE 9

Mr. Sportsman

I met him while out with a friend one night and there had been an instant chemistry.. looking back, even though we had bounced between a few bars, we had stayed together the whole night - chatting, flirting, dancing... so I was pleased when he texted a few days later to ask me out (to watch a live sports game with him).  A great date idea!  On the day, we met at the station and instantly I was teasing and flirting with him again.. I felt so comfortable around him.  And very attracted to him!  As you'll see from my profile, I tend not to go for the guys I'm attracted to, rather favouring the safe, nice guys.  But that was before I learnt my lesson with Mr. Got My Attention (see date 7) and now I'm really on form! Anyway, so back to Mr. Sportsman... Thanks to his sports, he's got a very strong body with these beautiful, muscular arms that I kept touching using any excuse I could find.  I also like that he's taller than me and has a gentle accent that kind of makes me melt a bit.. We chatted easily about various things on the train, even when we were squished up together when the carriage got crammed with other people going to the same game. It could have been awkward but it wasn't and soon we were at the game where he bought us drinks and we carried on chatting about the countries we're from, our pets and generally finding out a little bit more about each other.  The atmosphere at the game was brilliant and we hung out like we had known each other for years.  I felt so at ease and comfortable with him and because of that was just totally myself (the cheeky me) and overall we had the perfect mix of banter, touching, laughing, flirting and finding out about each other.  After the game we avoided the crowds heading to the station and instead took a stroll, arm in arm, to another nearby station which had a cosy pub next door, where we had a couple of drinks before heading back to our local area (we live relatively close to each other).  We ended up going for a quick dinner and then for another drink before heading home - so all in all, a 7 hour date.. not bad! 

I get the sense we may be slightly different on the lifestyle side of things (he might be a little less open to trying new things and more on the 'quiet life' side of the scale) but I think he's smart, fun, kind, healthy, a total gentleman and has already made it clear he's not just looking for a fun time.. He hasn't asked for it yet, but I'm really looking forward to date 2. I just hope he asks for it...  

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Bad Idea Bear DATE 8

Lacking in Confidence Guy

The second I saw him, I knew I didn't feel it.  He looked like his picture which I had actually been quite attracted to, but in person, he lacked a certain air.. I couldn't put my finger on it, but for some reason a voice in my head said 'run...now!'.. I resisted because I'm too polite but you know when you know.  We had agreed to go for a walk in the park so I thought I'd do that and then make my excuses.  As we walked, he was polite and made conversation - some of it a bit random - I think he was nervous but because I was trying to fight the voice in my head, I just couldn't think of any small talk to help the situation as I would normally do.  I could tell though, that he was really sweet which made it easier to find a way to make the next hour as pleasant as possible. We chatted easily and about some really deep and meaningful things so at least the conversation was good... but he kept dropping in unprompted and unexpected comments about why he wasn't good enough, or how uneducated he was, or that he was sorry he hadn't made an effort with his clothes (he looked fine).. I can see he was trying to explain himself rather than trying to put himself down, but it came across badly and did nothing for my already flooded chemistry centre.  After our walk around the park (more a sprint!), I felt bad saying I had to go so I agreed to go for a drink at the pub.  It was a bit odd that he didn't sit directly across from me at the table (he sat at on the opposite corner) but I realised as I got to know him a bit, that he did that out of perceived gentlemanliness.  He pulled a few rehearsed and cheesy lines (one of which I totally fell for so kudos to him for that one) and otherwise, like before, we had some very deep conversation about real stuff - which appeals to me - so at least I could enjoy the conversation.  At the end I made my excuses and he asked to see me again.. I didn't have the heart to say no outright but played it casual and thought I had said something along the lines of 'maybe, I'll see' but he then said 'great, we both want to see each other again' so perhaps I hadn't been as clear as I should have been.  I think I'll have to do the 'you're great, but I've met someone in the real world' text.. because I did - two of them - and I've got dates lined up for after Christmas.. :)

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Bad Idea Bear DATE 7

Date 3 with Mr. Got-My-Attention

Wow, what a date... It was perfect! We had a race to see who could get there on time (I did), the food was amazing (another top London restaurant), the conversation flowed and afterwards we went for a nightcap where he proceeded to tell me how much he liked me and why...so when he asked me for dating exclusivity, I said yes...

Fast forward a few weeks and I'm back on the challenge as it didn't work out with him after all.  We had fun together but, without going into all the various reasons, it's safe to say we're actually very different people and there were a few core areas where we didn't align so, very amicably, we parted ways.  I've learnt a lot about myself as a result - and probably the reason for why I am still single which was HUGELY insightful.  And now I can fix it.  Initially I was beating myself up as I usually do, but one of the cleverest girls I know (my best friend), gave me some really solid advice the next day about not letting this knock my confidence and I took it to heart.  I spent another few days looking at the situation objectively and realised I wanted to be in a relationship so much that I consciously decided to overlook certain qualities about Mr. G-A-M that normally would have had me dumping him on the spot!  I think it's good to compromise and that no man will ever be a 10 out of 10, but I don't need to be with someone so badly, I'll accept a 6 out of 10.  

So, one week later, here I am back on the challenge. And I feel great.  I've learnt from the insight and have sorted out my mindset in that regard.  I've found my confidence through all of this and I am super excited for getting back out there.. and even signed up to a dating website which is reaping some excellent rewards so far... dating blogs to follow :)

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Queen of Silks date 19

The motorbike racer

Met: Tinder

His height: 5’7”

Reminder of my height: 5’8”

Oops. My relaxed attitude to the dating scene obviously reflected in my ability to commit to a time. I had to cancel on this poor guy last minute because work was getting out of control in the lead up to xmas. Luckily he hadn’t booked the bouldering session we were meant to go to (yes, bouldering….cheeky me suggested we do something different and that’s what he came up with. Fair play).

Running 20 minutes late with him patiently standing in the rain, I greeted him apologetically and we went for a short walk around the xmas markets at Southbank until we both caved in and went to a cosy bar. With a pianist and lounge singer who wore a shirt he bought in the 70s.

Cute and blonde, I tried to ignore the fact he was shorter than me in flats. Something that is a little out of my comfort zone. I’m heightest, don’t judge me. Looks generally don’t matter but I come from a family of tall men, height normally matters to me. My ears pricked up though when he mentioned his motorbike racing. As someone who used to ride a ZX6-R I have total respect for someone who also shares a passion for motorbikes. And he races them. This must explain the bouldering idea (he also like a bit of adventure).

The date was lovely and as I walked in to my flat later that night I’d already received a text asking to meet up for coffee the next day. It has taken 19 dates for me to get a guy that’s actually this keen on me. Yay me! And he's quite nice so all round it was just a lovely, normal date. Maybe my mojo is back. Actually, my mojo is definitely back. And I’m off to Ecuador for Xmas to have some fun. Hopefully I’ll have some stories for when I return.

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Queen of Silks date 18

Good on paper, not in person

Another day, another less-than-creative date idea. Drinks again at a standard bar #yawn I swear to god I’m blaming this dating challenge for my skin starting to look yellow from liver damage.

This guy was another set up, and was sounding quite promising with his email banter and photo (quite cute!). This was his opening email:

PS. I must say I think it's most unkind of your friend to mark you as a charity case, unless I have grossly misread the situation, but I'm happy to do my part for the cause...

PPS. Yes, I'm afraid you're in for a lot of really awful dad-joke humour. Not big, not clever, not even very funny. Mildly amusing At Best. Ho hum. Or good luck, I should say.

PPPS. I make up for it by smelling good and wearing A Nice Watch. If I'm painfully tedious, you can stare at it, counting down the seconds until it's socially acceptable to make excuses and leave. You're welcome!! ;)

We ventured to the Charlotte St Hotel for a drink and I found him sitting up at the bar. Hmm actually quite cute. We grabbed a comfy seat and he kicked off the discussion talking about the business he had just started up. We work in similar industries so the conversation got rather ‘work-related’. Interesting if you’re in a work meeting, not on a date. I panicked that he would find the conversation boring (although he was leading it) so I changed to topic by referring to his watch.  Suddenly we got into a flirty flow and we both ordered another drink. Yay! This guy was actually as interesting as his emails after all! I was enjoying our flirty chat but had to excuse myself for the bathroom and on my return I saw him paying up the bill. What happened all of the sudden??? Did this man have a fear of women needing the toilet? What could’ve possibly gone wrong? I promise I was quick!

His tone changed and I hurriedly finished off my drink as he was putting on his jacket. We walked to the tube station awkwardly and said our goodbyes. Confused and quite upset I called the Ranga Ranger who had dated his friend the week before. She’d had a relatively similar experience...wtf? I sent him a text message thanking him for a nice evening and didn’t receive a response. Even more bizarre when this was a set-up. Isn’t that quite rude??? It doesn’t take much to be polite back, I honestly wouldn’t read that as a confession of love - I’d read that as manners! Like most women, the next two days I was analysing things thoroughly; what had I done wrong? Why wasn’t he interested in me? Was I that unattractive? Could it be my fat arms? (see date 13).

Three days later I receive a random text out of the blue, confessing that he actually had a girlfriend. But oh, he still wanted to see me again.  I see, that explains it. 

And it’s this experience that encouraged me to take 3 weeks out from the dating scene. Life’s been too busy anyway and before I become a bitter man-hating cat lady I thought it best I have some time out. Three weeks have now passed and I’m now ready to get back in the game. Back in the game, and I also can’t get a particular guy off my mind. Sigh.

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Dungeons & Dragons DATE 12:

The Nose

It's Friday night and my 3rd date this week; after a dry hump and a really boring date I wonder what fun tonight will bring!

I've been texting with this tinder man for a little while, but no big build up so I look forward to getting to know him a little better. On the day he gives me two options and I opt for Lab in Covent garden (the cocktails are yum and it's all rather down to earth which is a nice change from the b*** at Cirque le soir I.e the tinder party). He also asks me to send a pic as he can't remember what I look like, I blocked him on tinder so it's a fair enough question. When I finally send him one I get a lovely complement and a pic in return; one that's normal and one very camp fancy dress one. He definitely has humor! 

We meet outside and upon walking in get talking to the people at the bar next to us. They seem to be ahead of us and the ginger tall guy proceeds to ask if we are on a date and whether it's online, again! Why do people feel the need to turn the spotlight on like that? To be fair his mates make him feel bad enough about it and a few more jokes he offers to but the first drink. We turn it down (really I learned my lesson during the tequila shots with Mr Storyteller!) And I turn my back to him, time to really "start" or date. This guy is really lovely, giving me lots of compliments, we have a really nice time talking about jobs, life, exes and the pictures. It appears the fancy dress wasn't him....oops! We had at least two strong cocktails and no food, "do I have such a big nose?" ehm, no, but it's sort of prominent....Oh dear! He takes it well and for the duration of the date we have a few more nose jokes. By the end we have had 4 cocktails,a really good laugh and when I suggest to get the bill he has taken care of it already. 

I genuinely like The Nose, he is smart, funny, seems emotionally switched on, had a good job, sadly I genuinely don't fancy him :( 

I received a text asking if I got home and saying he had a great night, that's one out of very few men to check I got home ok, he really is a good one, damn!!

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Queen of Silks DATE 17:

The overachiever

He works for the UN in social policy, has a PHD and in his spare time has competed in triathlons. My colleague certainly set the bar high for me when she agreed to introduce me. ‘Just don’t talk about people on benefits’ I was warned. Oh dear, this is not normally a topic of conversation for me but the minute you put something in my head I’m likely to accidentally let it slip out. Must not make judgement of this potential righteous know-it-all.

He came to my work for a few drinks and we were quickly shoved together off in a corner so we could get to know each other better. As it turns out, we immediately hit it off and there was quite a bit of fun banter. He had lovely blue eyes and a rather cheeky smile. I think we both felt a little awkward because neither of us really knew how much we’d been told about each other, and if it was a set up or not. After a few drinks and some great chat the overachiever panicked, and suggested we join my colleague and her sister for dinner. It turns out he lives in Geneva and was staying with my colleague. Dinner was fun and a little more relaxed with the others there, and we got into a couple of good debates. An intelligent man is incredibly attractive!

As a group we moved on to join some other friends for a few drinks and this is where the overachiever apologised. He took me aside and said he was sorry that he didn’t take me out to dinner on my own, he’d just chickened out and thought I just wanted to be friends. The thing is, I can understand how he might have thought this because I can come across quite reserved until  I get to know someone. And I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about him just yet. I was intrigued, and would like to see him again to get to know him more, but for me it takes time to get to know someone and him living in Geneva makes things a little difficult.

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Dungeons & Dragons DATE 11:

Lancashire Hot Pot

A few of the girls discussed "dating fatigue" the other day, during date 11 I definitely felt the same. In all honesty there was very little "vetting" beforehand. It was another tinder one, he seemed tall, serious rather than a player and we had a decent enough chat beforehand, so when suggested meeting for a drink I said yes. 

We meet at a pub which turns out to be very local to his place, and it's nice enough, but definitely nothing special. I suspect he is the type that likes convenience rather than the type to drag girls home....We have a friendly chat, he is indeed very tall and our knees keep touching, I've no interest at all in touching his knees so in the end decide to sit sideways, which gets uncomfortable every 10 minutes so I change, touch knees again and move immediately back to the awkward sideways position. He doesn't even notice.

He is looking at me intently when we talk, his eyes are quite nice, but I find him incredibly boring. I need to do much of the talking (tried to leave a silence or two, but that's just too painful). We do have another drink and when he suggests ordering food I can't think of a good enough excuse to decline plus I'm hungry so decide to order. I order the Lancashire hot pot, the first bite nice, the next not so; I'm pretty sure I'm tucking into liver or kidney and I'm about to gag (I love meat, but not anything with organs yuk yuk). I take a big gulp of my drink and focus on the veg instead. When he has finished he eats some of mine and thank God it seems like a good moment to suggest leaving. I mumble something about having to get up early and make my excuses. Outside we say goodbye, he even says it was really nice to meet me, a kiss on the cheek and we each walk our own way. When I Google the Lancashire hot pot on the train I want to gag again!! This was a painfully boring evening, wish I was at home in my pjs instead, oh well we need to have a few boring ones to appreciate the exciting dates, right?!

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Dungeons & Dragons DATE 10:

Hump or No Hump?

Dear tinder; thank you for directing lots of single men our way, thank you for the fun, weird and wonderful dates, thank you for all the fun I'm having with the girls discussing these and thank you for making us wait an hour and a half in the queue for your so called launch party!!!

Really that was so uncalled for; I wouldn't mind if we would have been treated with a bit of respect, but everybody in the queue was made to wait without ever being let in, rubbish! We finally saw the light and decided to find fun elsewhere :-) :-)

On our way back at the end of the night we randomly bumped into one of the guys who was in the queue in front of us (and didn't get in either). After a mutual moan about the queuing we walked on, but not before he asked my number; his reasoning being that I need the numbers for my challenge so why not? Well yes, I couldn't really argue with that one.

On Sunday evening I get what is the longest text message I've ever received. I'm surprised, there is a bit about the night,a bit about him, a bit on tinder and a few great questions for me to reply to! And I do reply, with an almost equally long message, we whatsapped for the entire week......my first free night was a whole week away, but he didn't seem to mind, we used it to get to know each better via text/whatsapp. 

Monday evening, we finally meet! We go to a Lebanese place have a few drinks and small bite to eat, lots of conversation. It's flowing as well as it was on whatsapp and there is definitely an attraction. We end up kissing in the restaurant, which I still find very embarrassing and exciting at the same time, and leave to get the last tube home while kissing some more in the street. 

And then it happens; he starts humping!! I'm really not making this up and please don't think it was the alcohol, we didn't drink a single drop......up against a wall, we walk some more, another wall another bit of humping, I tell him I'm not comfortable with this and he suggest going back to his place, no thank you very much!!! What a shame, I'm honestly a bit gutted but there you go. 

We said our goodbyes and discussed meeting up again, had a few more exchanges on whatsapp the days after, but he was "suddenly" very sexually motivated. I told him yesterday I didn't enjoy the humping and got a response along the lines of "I shouldn't have wasted my time on you". I'm so pleased I didn't entertain a 2nd date, he showed his true character and I haven't bothered to respond. 

Thank you lovely friends for inviting me into this challenge, had this been a one of date I might have felt a lot more hurt or over analysed things. Instead I'm not taking it personal, but putting it away as a lesson learned, plus he did give me a few great questions to use on my next date!

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Jazz Hands DATE 16:

The Mystery Man

I've had 2 weeks off from the challenge, 'cos basically I was over it. Over meeting guys I wasn't interested in. Over the guys I was remotely interested in only wanting down my pants. Over all the messaging back and forth.

OVER IT. 

I had a mild meltdown and was ready to chuck the challenge. I stopped answering Tinder dudes, cancelled two dates and sat around in my jim jams generally feeling sorry for myself.

Then at some point, I gave myself a half-assed kick in the pants, dragged myself out of my deep deep I'm-never-going-to-ever-find-anyone-and-I'm-going-to-be-single-forever hole and replied to a few messages... 

Mystery Man's first contact was asking me straight out if I'd like to meet him in an hour for lunch, 'cos I was only one mile away. With no previous banter to speak of, that was a definite 'no', so I agreed to an after work drink another day. Although, I'm pretty sure my complete dating disinterest was evident- "sure" I said- "that nonchalant 'sure' of yours has loads of poorly hidden enthusiasm! :-p" (At least he was witty and perceptive.) When 'another day' came, still in can't-be-assed mode, I cancelled. I figured a night in with Made in Chelsea was far more important!

I rescheduled and made him meet near my house. I got home from work, took all of about 5 minutes getting ready and walked down to the tube station to meet him.

'Oh....he was cute.' I wished then I'd made a bit more effort with the hair (I looked like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards!) It appears I had taken no interest in this guy whatsoever- I obviously hadn't bothered to look at his photos properly and our brief banter revealed nothing at all about each other (I was surprised to find out he was Spanish and the same age). As we walked towards the nearest bar, it also appeared that I didn't even know this guy's NAME! "Paul* isn't my real name by the way" he said. 'Ah...excuse me?', I was pretty certain that was his name on Tinder. "It's actually...." and then he told me his actual, very Spanish sounding one. ''WTF?' (Turns out it was nothing malicious- his Tinder/facebook one was just a nickname, he wasn't married or indeed some sort of Euro-spy.)

Sitting down with drinks he got at the bar, I discovered he was an engineer, had lived an interesting life stationed in a few places across the world, and was actually rather amusing. Cute, smart, funny and Southern European. Tick. (Before my thing for black guys, if you were Italian, Spanish, Greek or Portuguese- I was yours!)

We got chatting about relationships. Turns out he finished quite a long term and long distance one early in the year, which made me wonder if he was really after anything serious now, or just using Tinder for a bit of fun. 

Then we got chatting about Tinder- "met up with any nice girls?' I asked. "Four" he said. "How about you?" "Twelve." "Twelve??!!" he gasped. I wasn't sure why this was so shocking, (I realised later he probably thought I'd slept with them all!) "Did you see any of them again?" he enquired. I figured I should be honest and told him I'd seen Butler in the Buff 3 times. "What happened?" he asked ('Sheesh, 20 questions!') "Well, he was 31 for a start and was a Butler in the Buff....not exactly relationship material." "But you had your fun....?" 'Hmmnn...how to answer this one...?' I thought. "I 'spose" I replied, trying to evade the truth. It was about this time that I realised Mystery Man had taken off his jumper and had inched his chair closer to me. I then went on a rant about how I wasn't looking for a younger guy and that all my exes were younger and that I knew B in the B was just after sex, and he was really pushy about it, blah blah blah...Then I told him about some of the guys I wasn't interested in (which was most of them) and how I had applied a 'one drink rule' with them. One drink and I was outta there! "I have that rule too!" he laughed...

I then showed him the screen shots of 'Tinder twats' us ladies had found on our dating search- 'man with gun', 'man doing martial arts' and my personal favourite 'morbidly obese man with shirt off, weird tattoos and baseball bat.' He found these all as highly amusing as we did and we started going through his Tinder girls to compare. As I have discovered in the past doing this, the majority of the girls are far more attractive and appealing than the men in their photos!

I noticed then that he was sitting with no drink in front of him, and as I was enjoying his company I asked if I should buy the next round. "No I can't. One drink rule. Remember?" 'Hmmmnm, curious' I thought, 'I only do that with the guys I'm not interested in. That's obviously what he's doing with me.' "I guess we should go then" I said, rather taken aback and we made our way out.

Standing outside the bar, I couldn't work out if he'd done the 'one drink' thing 'cos he was expecting an invite to my house (which he knew was up the road), or had taken the I-don't-like-it-when-guys-push-me-for-sex talk and given up 'cos he figured he wasn't getting laid, or because he wasn't the slightest bit interested in me. It was a mystery...I was intrigued and completely stumped! Then, he looked me straight in the eye and in a kind of surprised, but kind of friendly way said "I like you". 

I was so unsure how to respond, I just stood there smiling at him- 'who says that unless they're 12 years old?!' I thought. 'Maybe its a language barrier thing?' I was thinking....'I like Paris in Springtime, I like cheese, I like you...' I didn't know what to say so I just said "It was lovely to meet you", kissed him on the cheek goodbye and off I went. And that was that. 

I normally find men easy to work out. This one was an absolute mystery.....

* Names have been changed. (Even though, ironically, names had been changed.)

[threemonthdatingchallenge-blog]

Dungeons & Dragons DATE 9: ‏

The Eye Surgeon

After some straightforward, easy going banter with my Greek friend on tinder we decide to meet up. At this point I'm a little tired from all my traveling and the date feels more like something I've got to do rather than something I want to do (basically dying for a decent 8 hour sleep) at least I'm not nervous anymore, one dating challenge accomplished!

We meet outside the tube station and he is not bad looking, lovely face, slightly shorter than I thought, but we are equal height so it's ok. I'm not impressed with his lack of organisational skills, especially after hearing he works around the corner (in one of his txt messages he also said this particular station is good because it suited HIM better....I put it down to a culture/language barrier, but really?? zero panther points!). He doesn't like the first pub we walk into to so we settle for the second. Finally we sit down order a drink and have a chance to talk......I thought. INSTEAD he reaches for my glasses, puts them on the table, puts his hands around my face draws me close.........and asks what's wrong with my eyes!!! 

Coming back from hiding half underneath the table thinking he was going to kiss me (which I wouldn't have entertained) I'm feeling a hot flush. Not only did he come right in my personal space, he also has the cheek to make me feel rather uncomfortable. I quickly grab my glasses and then he explains he is an eye surgeon, maybe this is normal in Greece or during daytime in the hospital where he works, but I'm feeling a bit violated! To be fair he had a point as I was recovering from an eye infection, maybe he tried to show off his knowledge or maybe I need to stop over analysing. It was definitely awkward. 

For the duration of our drink I keep the conversation flowing, he does mention he is tired and yes he is hard work. When we finally finish our drinks we walk to the tube and he is under the impression we are going to the same platform which we aren't. As I can't find my oyster card I tell him he doesn't need to wait and he looks a bit perplexed while we kiss goodbye on the cheek and he leaves. 

I haven't heard from him so sent him a text after 3 days (saying thanks for the drink, nice to meet you, no spark...etc), there was definitely no spark, but when you have had a few online conversations and made the effort to meet in person it's only normal to do that right? 

[threemonthdatingchallenge-blog]

Queen of Silks additional note

Well, just after posting that last date story I got a Whatsapp message from the German banker saying his new company has asked him to work in the Munich office. I guess that answers any confusion on my part. It was quite a nice message at least!

[threemonthdatingchallenge-blog]

Queen of Silks DATE 16:

The German banker date two #yawn

The German was the first guy I’d had a slight connection with so I was really looking forward to meeting for a second date, until I received this text: I thought it might be nice if we cooked dinner together or do you prefer a restaurant/bar?

And the alarm bells went off. Warning! Warning! This man is looking for a shag! Oh boy, I hadn’t read this at all. I consulted a couple of friends on what to say (I can be a little too direct sometimes) and kindly suggested we eat out somewhere ‘Hey! It sounds like a great idea for another time but how about we let someone else take care of us tonight so we can concentrate on each other’. It worked and we met up for dinner at a cute little Italian restaurant by Liverpool St. I practiced not leading the conversation and just sitting back waiting for him to lead. And you know what I found out? He seemed a little boring! Oh dear, had I enjoyed the conversation last time we met up because I’d lead it?? Eek! He was definitely downing the wine very quickly…

I got distracted by an older couple at the table next to us who seemed incredibly in love. They were about my parents age and were so cute! They clearly only had eyes for each other. For those that know me you’ll know I’m quite a friendly and chatty person so I got chatting with our neighbours and found out they’d known each other since they were teenagers. They’d dated in their teens and then the man went to the US. They both moved on with their lives, married other people, had kids and both got divorced before randomly bumping in to each other again - reigniting their love for each other all these years on. I could’ve talked to them all night - they had such an amazing energy about them. It was clear I was starting to be rude as my date wasn’t as chatty as I was so I got the lady’s phone number and said we should meet up for coffee (I LOVED her!). The banker and I finished off our wines and then walked to the tube. It was getting late for a Monday night. I asked him what his intentions were and he said he is looking for someone special. I told him that sometimes if a guy invites a girl to cook it can be taken as something else. He said he’d asked me to cook with him because that’s what he and his girlfriend used to do, and he was a good assistant. Oh oh. He’s looking for a serious relationship really early! I told him that perhaps that was a little too quick for me as I like to take my time and he seemed ok with that. We kissed goodbye and he asked me to let him know when I’m next free. Things have been a little busy for me but I’ll probably see him again to see if he actually is boring, or if he was just nervous. Here’s hoping it was the latter.

[threemonthdatingchallenge-blog]

Dungeons & Dragons DATE 8:

The Stalker

Don't ever trust a man who sends you picture of his cooking skills!! Why not, well he was too open and too full on from the start. I may have it all wrong, but going with gut instinct here, he gave himself his nickname......

Me and Mr stalker had a fun click from the word go so it didn't take long to exchange phone numbers and continue on whatsapp......which was all good banter until I woke up one morning to a few drunken txt messages. I dismissed it as a drunk mistake, we hadn't even met at this point and let him off with 36 hour silence. To safeguard my sanity and precious Friday nights I also changed the Friday date into a Thursday lunch, he took it well.

When we actually met he was very friendly, easy to chat too and made sure he got all his questions in quickly. Have I been engaged? Have I been married? Showing off talking about his house in the country and how he is considering buying property in Notting hill. Clearly nothing wrong with his career or his bank balance. Sadly for him that didn't tick my boxes; I may not have my own property but I'm definitely saving for one and looking for a man to be my guy, not my provider!!! He then proceeded to discuss work, I should really forward my cv as he has a mate who would have the perfect job for me......and our next date (this isn't even a question)...oh really.....

Apparently we are going on a cocktail crawl, in the most fancy bars and places so he can wooooo me off my feet, honestly what am I supposed to respond with? Underneath it all I think this chap is nice, maybe even a big softy, but he scares me with his tactics. I'm not at all convinced on a 2nd date!

Luckily we only met for lunch and it's time to get back to work, he does pick up the bill and kisses me goodbye even tries to get a real SMOOCH in...yuk yuk I don't let him and now really know I'm not feeling him!!

We are still texting, but I'm not going to reply as the last message was; "when am I going to see you and get to kiss you?"

No thanks!!

He called himself my stalker after our lunch date....why would anyone ever say that?....