thriceLoved
Starts at the art show (flash forward) - Painter is showing Twice Loved. Cassandra is called up to the stage. She stares at the painting.
I haven't worked in months
On separate occasions, I buy pencils, paper, paint, canvas, carving knife, soap etc. from an art supplies store
Painter does the same only just paint and canvas
We both try our hands at art: she hates all that she paints; I try all these different mediums and become frustrated (burn paper, smash canvas, throw soap into full bathtub). I have fits of sickness
One day we're both in the art shop; she at the back, myself at the counter. The owner tells me I need to fall in love with my art; the Painter overhears
I go out for drinks with Cassandra - tell her about my movie ideas and she encourages me… says that is what I am meant to do
I start writing and I fall in love with it.
I hang out with Guido. He loves the idea and wants to shoot it
He becomes busy and it slips through the cracks. I feel like I'm disappointing Cassandra. I get more sick. The unmet need to create, the actualize myself, starts to eat away at me
I'm timid around her
Go to talk to Guido about the movie. He bushes me off. See Cassandra at a bar. Make no attempt to talk to her. Other girls approach me, I blow them off. My friend asks why and I just look at Cassandra. After she leaves, I turn around and come face to face with Andrew who is my manifestation: "You know, we're getting tired of this. When did you become so weak?" He pushes a finger into my eye. I try to pull away but he follows me. "That won't do you any good." Camera pans around so for a second, my face replaces Andrew's. "So repressed. It's making you sick, you know, the stress. Making us sick. It's causing lesions in your brain. The pressures building. Make the movie. Get the girl. Or we'll die." He disappears. I'm left with a slight twitch in my eye.
I go to see Guido. He begins to brush me off and I fall into my habit of accepting defeat when I see Andrew in a reflection and begin to feel sick. I snap: "I need to make this movie, Guido! And so do you! Is that why you got into this? To shoot advertisements? To work for the corporations? To sell bloody handbags? I'm gonna die if I don't make this movie. Now I don't know how literal that is but I'm going to behave as if that's the case. So make this movie with me or kill me." "I'll be here at 8 tomorrow." Hugs him. Andrew points gun into mouth.
Gather up actors, film crew and begin pre-production. Call Cassandra: "I need a makeup artist"
There are some very heavy scenes and I pull Cassandra in either to act or to demonstrate what I'm looking for. I'm still timid around her but I'm growing stronger. After one particular session I ask her out for drinks.
We go to a garden party with soft rock playing and I make her laugh at the bar (may tell her the one of my uncle who orders 2 shots)
The painter and her boyfriend are at the party as well, playfully filming each other, the party and the moon.
I ask her to dance. She has her arms on my shoulders, holding one arm just below the elbow letting her hand dangle. We talk and laugh more. "You're the best thing in my life." We press our heads together (right side touching). I lean my head down and rest my lips on her shoulder/neck. I look at her: "you're so simple and pure, but you're so complex and intricate." I talk into her left ear: "you're an atomic bomb and I just want to feel your energy - to see you soar through the sky… and detonate… for all of us… but especially me." A server walks by with a stainless steel tray and I see Andrew far behind me. "I'm obsessed with you… I can say that now because I'm an artist," I say half-laughing. "If you feel the same way kiss my cheek and hold me tighter. If not, just stay exactly as you are and we'll keep dancing" The camera pans around and she kisses me, leaving a lipstick stain on my cheek, and holds me tighter. The camera pans around again and the stain vanishes - it was wishful thinking. She hardly moves. I get emotional, tears well up. The same happens to her. Another server walks by and I can see Andrew's reflection again only now he is pointing the gun at me. Her tear falls on my shoulder as people walk by carrying the Twice Loved painting and Andrew shoots. My sickness returns in an instant and I violently cough blood onto it and collapse, dead.
Back to the first scene at the art gallery. The Painter is talking about Twice Loved: the first love was her love for the painting - the reason she was successful. The second love was my love. The Painter romanticized my death saying I died of a love to strong. Cassandra goes to see the painting. The Painter recognizes her and calls her up, delighted she is there. Cassandra stares at the painting first. The camera pans around and she violently coughs blood onto the painting and Thrice Loved flashes across the screen. The camera pans around again and she hasn't coughed but she is crying. She says: "love or die."