Sometimes I just think about Thomas at night. Never asleep. He only sleeps when his body physically passes out from exhaustion.
When he closes his eyes all he sees is Newt’s eyes in his last moments.
All he can hear is the softness in the vulnerable “please Tommy please” in comparison to the volatility of newt’s actions.
He only sees his failure.
That’s all he’ll ever be.
And he never even got to tell him that he loved him…
Thomas remembers the feel of Newt’s soft skin. The sound of the sinking blade. And the smell of metallic blood and rotten flesh.
And his face. His face of utter distress, sorrow and defeat.
🧍♀️
My honest reaction after reading this
I JUST GOT CRUSHED OH MY ACTUAL GOODNESS I'M GONNA BUY A TABLE IRL AND JUST USE IT FOR MY THROWING THERAPY HOW COULD YOU REMIND ME OF NEWT'S FACE DURING THAT MOMENT??!?!?!?!
Nononono he must have gave up right then and there because his letter was in that necklace, so so so so so so he knew he was already saying goodbye to his best friend, aka the one he genuinely loves but never had the chance, guts, or encouragement to tell and he died looking at Thomas with the audacity to smile just a little bit and literally allowed his last word to be "Tommy."
