Whispers of the Years We Lost.
summary — you john b and jj have been best friends since the third grade. you are pressured into going to UCLA, you apply for UCLA and get accepted, you leave without any goodbye. you come back to obx four years later after you graduate UCLA, and you go to the beach when you run into a familiar face.
w/c — 5130.
pairing — bsf!jjmaybank x fem!pogue!reader
a/n — it’s hurt/comfort trust also my longest fic ever :)
You, John B, and JJ met in the third grade, and you guys have been together ever since. When you reached your senior year, your parents started to pressure you into going to UCLA because they wanted you to be a nurse.
You knew that UCLA was across the country and that it would destroy both JJ and John B if you moved all the way to California. You either had to stay in OBX and get cut off by your parents or go to UCLA and break both John B and JJ into two.
You had to choose one. You chose the second option, to go to UCLA and make a career for yourself. You couldn’t live off surfing and being reckless with them.
You started distancing yourself from both of them, which they didn’t notice at first, but as time went on, they started noticing your absence, how you started showing up less at the Château, how you missed mandatory pogue meetings even if you were a kook. Kiara and Pope even started to notice that you were around less.
You started getting texts from everyone, most of them asking if there was anything wrong. There was so much wrong, and you knew it, but you answered their concerned texts with reassurance, using the “just tired” or “I have hw to do” excuse. They fell for your excuse every time.
You had applied to UCLA a while back and have just now gotten a response back. You were terrified to open it. If you had gotten rejected, then avoiding the group was a waste and they would probably hate your guts, but if you did get accepted, then you should be happy about it, right?
you opened the letter in your room, it was almost like time froze, you had did it, you had gotten accepted. you should have been screaming, jumping with excitement, should have been happy.
Instead, you felt… empty?
Once you graduated, you already had your things ready to get shipped off to California. All you had to do was say goodbye to everyone, but you hadn’t even uttered a word about UCLA. You couldn’t just say “Hey guys, I got accepted to UCLA and now I’m leaving. Bye!”
So you left without saying a word.
You came back four years later. You never came back for breaks or anything, just stayed in California. You didn’t want to run into JJ on accident. He probably hated you, hell probably all of the Pogues must hate you. You left without saying anything, just got up and went.
It felt… weird being back in OBX. There weren’t loud cars, no yelling people, no people talking over each other because they were in a loud place. It was quiet, and you didn’t have that constant annoyance with loud places.
You went to the beach, where you and JJ would surf.
You expected it to be empty; it always was empty when you two were kids. You walked down, almost going into the water but stopping short at where most of the washed-up seaweed was.
You should have been over the moon for finishing your degree, but it didn’t feel like an accomplishment; it felt like a weight dragging you down. You didn’t want to be a nurse; you wanted to surf and make something of it with JJ.
Your dreams were just dreams though. You couldn’t go back in time now. You had already gotten your degree.
You stared out at the sea, like it owed you something, something you’d never get. You sat there for a while, listening to the waves crashing, and staring at it before you heard a voice, a really familiar voice.
You froze, you knew that voice all too well; it was JJ’s voice.
“Y/N…?” he said with hesitation in his voice, like it was something that was foreign. He thought he was seeing things.
You stood up and turned around facing him. He froze, like he was a deer in headlights. Before he could stop himself, he ran to you. He crashed into you so hard that it knocked both of you down. He broke down. You knew he hated being vulnerable.
You held him there for a long time.
He kept repeating “I thought we had lost you” and “We thought you died” over and over again, like a broken record. You kept reassuring him that you were okay and present, that he wasn’t just seeing things.
Once he calmed down, he looked up at you. You held eye contact with him, just like you two used to do when you wanted to skip class or to go do something dumb together.
“Where did you go, Y/N?” he asked with a hint of hurt in his voice. “I went to UCLA, JJ.” You said softly. You didn’t want to shake him the wrong way and get him mad.
“I was pressured into going JJ. I couldn’t do anything. I didn’t want to hurt you or John B, or anyone for that matter. So I pushed you guys away when I needed you guys the most.” You said, your voice cracked at the end.
“Y/N…” he started to speak softly before you cut him off. “It was all my fault, JJ. I shouldn’t have pushed you guys away. It was a stupid mistake.” JJ put his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. You felt safe again.
You two had talked for a while before JJ blurted out something accidentally.
“Y/N, I have liked you ever since we’ve met.” He froze, his face was turning red. He turned away and covered his face with his hands. You took his hands away and spoke softly, looking into his eyes. “I like you too, JJ Maybank.” And with that, he kissed you.
And now you realized that he was the reason you came back to OBX forever.