“This could be a trap to get you and Nichole.”
“No, not him.”
“You’re lying to yourself.”
It’s the 2nd episode of season 6. After a seemingly impossible reunion between mother and daughter, this line stings like a slap in the face.
It’s inflammatory. It’s accusatory.
It’s also loaded as fuck.
And it stands on the back of everything the audience has seen and learned.
Holly: The Activist. The Mother.
(In that order.)
In season 2, we get to learn a bit more about Holly. We know she’s a doctor and a feminist. We know it was her connections that help Luke and June nearly escape. Now, though, we get to know what kind of mother she was.
Baggage (2x03) starts with June in the Boston Globe. She’s trying to understand Gilead, how it came to be. She remembers her mom taking her to a Take Back the Night rally and it’s an admission of admiration. For her strength and bravery and passion.
But then it’s followed by her voicing to Nick the shame she feels leaving Hannah behind. He tells her it’ll be better for everyone. (And at this point Serena is reaching her peak cruelty so he might be right.) But June rebuts. “Better never means better for everyone.” Thanks for that one Fred. And all he can do is hold her. Because they both know there is no right answer. There’s just taking the next step forward.
So June spends the rest of her escape trying to find a way to be okay with it by reflecting on her relationship with Holly. Which, evidentially, is a complicated one.
June struggles to meet the expectations of her mother. Holly fails to see the value in her daughter.
It’s not without love, though. And by the end, June recalls a happy memory. Driving with Holly down an open road, bare feet on the dashboard, Gwen Stefani playing in the background. It’s silly and happy and free.
But it does begin a reoccurring pattern for the pair. Because despite the love, they’re at constant odds.
Holly’s unimpressed by June’s publishing job. She disapproves of June’s marriage to Luke. Admonishes her for having Hannah baptized.
And we never really see June defend herself against the criticisms. Not in the kitchen, when she masks her hurt over Holly’s opinions of her job and future marriage. Not in the church, where she chooses to shush her mom rather than state her reasons for doing it.
Holly frames the choices as frivolous and passive.
“It’s time to get out in the street and fight, not play house.”
It’s an unfair assessment that ironically disregards June’s agency. But it’s also not made lightly.
And later, while talking to Moira in the red center, June concedes to Holly.
“You were right,” Moria says.
“So was she,” June admits.
It’s as close to a compromise as these two ever really get. It becomes a spark in June’s transformation.
And by the time she gets to Alaska, June’s no longer the woman she was. She’s not the woman who “played house.” She’s not the woman being led blindly from point A to point G, like in Baggage.
June’s a legend in her own right. She’s saved kids and marthas. She’s survived Serena and Fred; torture and bombs. She’s pissed off Gilead so much so that they’re sending assassins to Canada. And she has, not one, but two commanders in her pocket— Lawrence and Nick.
But Holly doesn’t know any of that. She doesn’t know how her daughter changed.
“You’re not a spy. You’re not a soldier.”
“You don’t really know what I’ve done mom.”
And that’s the moment Holly learns about Nick.
Not “Mom I’ve been psychologically tortured within an inch of my life when they made me and all the other handmaids think we were getting executed.” Not “Mom I was waterboarded.” Not “Mom, I organized getting 80+ kids out.” Not “Mom, I’m the reason those letters made it outand Nick helped.”
Because it’s too late for explanations. Their base dynamic already reared its ugly head:
The critical mother; The daughter who won’t stand up for her choices.
“Drivers are eyes.”
Yes, thanks for that information. This is definitely news. June stays silent.
“And now he’s a commander.”
June is receiving the full weight of what this implies.
“This could he a trap to get you and Nichole.”
That gets a reaction.
“No,” she laughs.
Because the idea of Nick trying to trap them? Insane. Unbelievable. The literal antithesis of everything Nick has done. I don’t even know that Bizarro World!Nick would pull that.
But instead of saying that, she’s bound to the same cyclical pattern she and Holly always end up at.
With a slight change, because this time she reverse Uno cards Holly.
“You have to show up and fight.”
“I was wrong…All you can do is survive and protect the people that you love.”
“All you can do is survive and protect the people that you love.”
Sound familiar?
The fight devolves quickly after that.
You’re fucking a n*zi.
You abandoned me.
Words meant to wound. Statements that beg for context.
Is he a fascist? Or was he just trying to survive and protect the ones he loves?
Did she abandon June? Or did she think she was leading by example?
Questions that ultimately go unanswered even at their resolution. Because June and Holly don’t bend to the other’s perspective. Because Holly doesn’t trust her daughter to make informed decisions. And June doesn’t trust her mother to hear her when she talks.
Instead, they return to territory they’re familiar with.
“No mother is ever completely a child’s idea of what a mother should be. And I suppose it works the other way round as well.” -Baggage, 2x03
Only this time, despite the struggle to accept the other’s POV (old habits die hard), they find common ground in baby Holly’s safety.
And for them, that’s enough.
For now, that’s enough.
“Raise your daughter to be a feminist. She spends all her time needing to be rescued by men.”
It’s worth noting: This is the first time June is ever confronted about Nick.
Luke would rather not bring him up at all, except when necessary for Hannah. Tuello seems to have fairly positive opinions on him, if at least an understanding of the moral ambiguity that goes with the role. And if Moira has reservations we certainly never hear it.
Up until now she’s toed a line with Nick & Luke, letting her geographic location make the choice for her. When she’s in Gileadand no man’s land, she’s with Nick. In Canada, she’s with Luke.
But season 4 ends with a definitive blurring of that line via the location of a literal one: No man’s land. An area that goes on to serve as the back drop for a number of trysts (Fred’s death) and collusions (Noah’s birth).
So, what does that mean for June?
As the series comes to a close, she stands at the precipice of her role as both revolutionary and leader.
And as all of these threads of the story come to a head in New Bethlehem, there’s a glaring problem; a defining choice she has yet to make.
A choice that at first glance appears to be purely romanticnot that there’s anything wrong if it was. A choice rooted in self actualization.
She’s not just picking a partner, she’s choosing the person she wants to be.
Luke & June: A leader. His right hand.
With Luke, she has a tendency to defer to him. To be more passive. It’s a role they’re both used to.
So when they’re reunited, they clash.
And while Luke is more or less who he was, June is far from the woman he knew.
This June is filled with so much unadulterated rage that she is sincerely incapable of containing it.
She’s strategic and fierce, and sometimes cruel. And try as she might to find her way back, Gilead is always there. Taunting her and twisting the knife.
And even when they find new ground, even when Serena gets to Luke and they march off into no man’s land, he’s still trying to lead June.
They dance and sing in the abandoned bowling alley, despite her protest. When they get caught by dollar store Fred, there’s no strategizing how to get out. And rather than listen to June about how to act, he ignores her.
Then when he decides to join Mayday, it’s not hand in hand with June.
“It’s my turn to fight for Hannah.”
Not, let’s do it together. Not, we’re partners in this.
Luke is angry. He intends to be a leader. He intends to be impressive and useful.
It’s admirable.
But he’s as naive as he was the day Zoe stopped him in season 1. And June —the new June— doesn’t soften blows. She tells him he doesn’t know what he’s getting into. Just like Zoe did.
And this dynamic only serves to pull them apart.
Because for June and Luke, the relationship they had has fossilized. Their connecting factor is Hannah. And as important as it is, it can’t save them when they’ve become so different.
If they can’t move forward together, what is it they gain from preservation?
Nick & June: A partnership. A team.
Which brings us to Nick.
The fascist commander of Gilead.
The soldier prodigy who couldn’t keep a job.
The emotional mess who couldn’t get through a temp agency interview without it getting physical but was even tempered enough to be a key player in the destruction of one country and construction of another.
The driver so astute and so important to the cause he wasn’t issued a woman in the three years Gilead existed.
A man so dedicated to Gilead he risked his life to get his girlfriend and baby out (2x) because he knows it’s not a good place?
A man who lives in so much grey you’d think it was a DesiLu production. *cue crickets*
In truth, the fog surrounding Nick is speculation buried in inflammatory language. So, instead we focus on what we know.
Ironically, what we know about Nick can be summed up in a single line spoken by the same woman who called him a n*zi.
“All you can do is survive and protect the people that you love.”
Because that’s what Nick does.
He did it when he fell prey to the Sons of Jacob to support his dad and brother. He did it when he went to Mayday to get June out. Twice.
And not for nothing, but when June showed up at that plane in Baggage, another driver showed up, too. Another driver who was an obvious stand in for Nick. A driver who was shot and dragged out from the plane just before they captured June.
Point to Nick, because he doesn’t just protect the people he loves, he survives while doing it. And June, is the exact same in that regard.
Whatever compromises she has to make, whatever parts of herself she has to sacrifice, is worthwhile if it means getting a step closer to Hannah.
Whatever it takes.
And Nick accepts that. Even if it means trying to free her from Gilead prison. Because his role with her was always clear. He doesn’t lie to her, doesn’t tell her what to do or how to act (except when advising her on how to be safe). He never admonishes her for leaving baby Holly with Emily. And when she pushes back at him at the Boston Globe, he gives her his gun. But he doesn’t stop her.
Because he never stops her.
Because Nick knows exactly who June is. And he may not know what crazy shit she’ll pull next but he knows she will. And he accepts it because he accepts her.
And in exchange, June has offered him purpose. A family. A reason. “More than this bullshit life.” And what a motivator it’s been.
Because as a team, June and Nick strengthen each other. Even apart, their influence is palpable.
It took Tuello 2 minutes in a room with Nick and unconscious June to see it. It took Lawrence even less.
Because together, they’re partners.
