── living in the ruins of a palace in my dreams , and you know we’re on each other’s team.
everything about the college dream is here to set you up for failure. which is tragic because well , back up a couple o’ years and skye’s a kid waiting to grow up. skye’s a kid who’s living each year in hopes of the next one , living six years old waiting for eight so she can take better care of her mom. living eight waiting for ten so her mother buys that very elaborate art set-up they saw in the window of shop. living ten waiting for twelve so she can finally go to middle school and hang with the cool kids. living twelve waiting for sixteen because middle school’s fucking boring and everyone knows high school is where you wanna be. she’s living... what was it? sixteen? seventeen? eighteen? right.. she spent most of those years between smoke or between sheets and admittedly forgot about the whole waiting for a future.
but it all came back rushing a few days into college. she’s supposed to be having the time of her life because.. college dream. but remember , everything about the college dream is here to set you up for failure. it no longer encapsulates the greatest years of youth , but is merely a way to stay suspended in the middle of this hoax of a reality. get high , do whatever , take zero responsibility and conveniently blame it on the said college dream --- and that’s why it sets you up for failure. you never want to leave.
expect ; that’s what high school was. except that’s what every day for the past couple of years had been. except she wasted all her good years and now it was a hamster incessantly running on it’s wheel with no real place to to go but despite knowing that , skye was still here, wasn’t she?
no matter the amount of times she rolled her eyes at the idea of a private house party because jae-hoon’s parents were out of town and jae-hoon wanted to check every stereotypical college kid cliche in the book and jae-hoon had too much time and money on his hands and jae-hoon was a class a chad who made promises like ‘ a night you’ll never forget. ’ .. which is hard to believe considering the amount of white powder being lined on the table with the platinum credit card that could’ve been anyone’s in the room. or the expensive whiskey that everyone only pretended to appreciate but downed like it was dollar-store vodka. the amount of people could be counted on two hands.. it was a private , close friends thing only.. but the empty bottles however , could not.
how’s skye doing in all of this? -- now she loves a rager as much as the next university student with low morals and a high tolerance ; the sleazy music and even sleazier lighting was a bit too much , yes.. but other than that? decent party. it’s... fine. she’ll give a cursory nod and smile as they clink their drinks , she’ll offer a light to the classmate she’s never met before and she’ll even flirt with the girl who’s been sending her signals from across the room all night.
it’s... fine. --- only , fine meant boring here. too much of anything was headache inducing and everything about the night seemed.. too much. the woman’s leaning by the ajar window , away from the action of it all with an unlit joint being rolled between her fingers , looks to be in the midst of questioning some pivotal life choices , but really is just wishing for a saving grace. now , skye was never a party pooper.. so it’s hard to tell why she’s acting like one. doesn’t even pay attention to the crowd getting louder when the door opens and shuts , doesn’t double back to the see when they almost silence and heels echo across the room , doesn’t do anything but turn to the outside view and finally light the hazard sitting between two fingers.
the air shifts and maybe it’s cause of the fumes around her , maybe it’s coming from the outside or maybe it’s something.. in this very room. she has to look , confirm if it was only her dazed mind playing tricks or if it was... “ hyojoo..? ”
@thyuna / 2020