Warnings: Forced Marriage, Cruelty, Death, Gore, talk of Fertility and on page miscarriage
More TWs will be added as the story continues, this is a YA fic!
Summary:
After Voldemort had won the war, everything felt uneasy, being forced into a marriage wasn't in the plan, but after a war, nothing goes according to it.
Anari Moody always got top marks of her class. She had a bright future but that was taken away from her as soon as the words "Harry Potter is dead." Passed voldemort's lips. Her life was over as she knew it. With no family and all her friends either dead of deemed an undesirable, she was alone. Completely and utterly alone.
Blaise Zabini knew who he was born to be, who he was, and who he must be to survive this world. All his cards were laid out in front of him and he knew exactly how to play the game. He'd been prepped for this life and nothing was going to drag him down.
messy sketch for @shirajellyfish 's oneshot, Tied Together ! im. NOT normal about it, at ALL, ouuuugh i love it so so so so much aaaaghhh pain and suffering and agony (<- enjoying it)
"Well that's the compromising position we caught you two in.... we just added some bondage and ring gags. Now please, continue what you were doing. Don't let the camera make you shy!"
Pregnancy wasn’t getting any easier. It was well into April and Anari was almost done being pregnant. She was due in Autumn.
Ana was feeling oddly nostalgic today and decided to go through some of her old photos that she had piled away.
She found one of her, Cho, and Padma at Hogsmeade playing in the snow, they were laughing, and throwing snowballs. She missed those girls more than she could say.
There were many photos of the three of them, one before the Yule Ball all in their dorm. Another at the lake on a sunny day.
A lot of them were of her at her grandmothers or of her grandmother. She was the sweetest woman Ana knew, she’d raised her since she can remember. Her grandmother taught her everything she knew, taught her to be kind, taught her to fight back when she needed to.
There were lots of photos of the ocean, the waves crashing in and pulling out. Her vision blurred as she stared at the moving photograph and it was like she could hear it again, the seagulls above, the wind. Sure, she had the ocean here but it wasn’t the same, not at all. This side of the ocean was different, plagued with haunting memories. Those waves held joyful moments.
When she looked outside her window now and saw the cliffs and water all she could remember was sitting out there her first night in her white gown. Her quiet sobs filtered out by the rush of wind and harsh crash of waves.
This is her sea now, no more of the one she grew up with. This is the one she gets.
She found a couple of letters that she had kept from her grandmother while she was in school. She’d gotten a handful from her uncle in sixth and seventh year but she had been instructed to burn every single one. There were some from her friends during holidays as well. She read through every one carefully.
Anari tried not to think of her old life; it only made her sad but this time of year she couldn’t help but reminisce. Her birthday was tomorrow.
She’d decided not to tell anyone, she didn’t feel like celebrating this year. She was nineteen. She was married. She was pregnant. She always felt alone. She was alone. Her family was dead. Her friends were missing.
I have Blaise. She kept trying to remind herself but did she?
Did she have Blaise for support? If she wasn’t carrying his child would he care if she lived or died?
She has Astoria and Pansy. But she didn’t. Those were Blaise’s friends who had taken pity on her.
She didn’t have anyone to herself, nothing was hers, no one was her friend. Blaise was an ally if anything.
The person around her most was Tilly and her and Blaise still hadn’t decided if she was a spy or not. There was no one in this world that she didn’t have to filter herself around and that was terrifying. Isolating.
Staring at the pile of letters and photos she longed for company of any of those people, her grandmother, her uncle, Padma, Cho, anyone. Anyone from her past life.
But the reality of it, none of them knew her anymore, not really. She wasn’t the same person she was a year ago, she barely recognized herself.
─TIED TOGETHER─
Ana couldn’t sleep, it was officially her birthday. She was nineteen.
She was sitting outside in the grass on the cliffs, it was a clear night, they were getting more of those now that they were officially in spring.
She was sitting outside to stop herself from baking, the last thing she needed was to be handling raw eggs, the smell made her want to throw up recently. There was always an itch to get into the kitchen though, but now she has to find a new calming activity for her nights.
She didn’t know how long she was out there but the moon was still high in the sky and the house was still quiet. Ana made her way back inside and glanced at the clock on the wall– two in the morning. Her sleep schedule was awful and she didn’t expect it to get better anytime soon. Her dreams have been plagued with dangerous memories recently, memories of her friends and her family, and her being able to do absolutely nothing to help them— to save them. Tomorrow—or today, she’ll have to prepare a Dreamless Sleep potion. Ana didn’t know how much longer she could take the lack of rest, even if she was sleeping she wasn’t resting.
Ana slowly made her way up the creaking stairs taking one step at a time to try and not wake Blaise. She tiptoed back to her room and threw off her robe and laid in bed. She stared out into the night through the window and waited for sleep to take her. But sleep never came.
The moon was low and the sky was gaining color when she left it— an uneasy heavy feeling in her stomach, she knew the drill. Sitting up as quickly as she could she rushed into the bathroom, ignoring the book that fell from the table with a slam.
Kneeling over the toilet she gripped the cold porcelain bowl, letting out a gutted noise from the back of her throat. This morning there wasn’t a knock, the door pushed open quickly and a shirtless Blaise rushed into the room.
Blaise kneeled behind her, wrapping his arms around her and using one hand to gather her curls back. He shushed her and rubbed his hands up and down her side from where his arms were surrounding her. While Ana was emptying her stomach once again he whispered into her ear apologies and reassurance.
This is their new normal. But this morning Blaise did something out of the ordinary, when Ana finally deflated, resting her head on her arms he kissed the crook of her neck lingering for maybe a moment too long.
“Did you sleep?” Blaise whispered in her ear, his voice raw and scratched from unuse. Ana shook her head slightly and Blaise clicked his tongue before standing behind her and lifting her up, one arm under her legs and the other around her shoulders.
Anari didn’t have the energy she usually would have to refuse. He sat her on her bed, sitting her up and Tilly was already standing by the bedside table with a glass of water and a vial of something.
Blaise handed Ana the water silently and she took it greedily, her throat feeling raw and tired. Once she drained the glass he took it from her and handed her the vial. Before she could ask, she answered her silent question, “Calming Draught. It’ll help.”
She slightly nodded and drained the potion. When he stood up from his spot next to her on the bed Ana caught his hand, “Thank you.”
After sending her a quick squeeze on her hand he spoke quietly, “Shut up. Go to sleep.”
He took a step away from the bed heading towards the door but Ana spoke up before he made it across the room, “Wait— would you…”
She didn’t have to finish, after she glanced next to her Blaise nodded and rounded the bed to sit on the other side. He laid down with his head resting against the headboard and he looked at Ana, she melted into the bed, feeling the potion kicking in.
Once she was comfortable she felt Blaise’s hands on her head, twisting and running his hands down her hair, slightly massaging her head while he was at it.
It was the easiest Ana had fallen asleep in months and she enjoyed a quiet rest.
─TIED TOGETHER─
When Blaise woke up Ana was still in a deep sleep, her breaths even and heavy, and her body spread out on the bed. He quietly snuck out of the room and down to the kitchen, Tilly was already there cleaning.
“Hello! Can Tilly do anything for you?” She asked from where she was kneeled on the counter.
“No, I’m going to make Anari breakfast.” He replied, heading toward the fridge to gather ingredients, he stared at the eggs in his hand and paused, “Actually, Tilly, would you help me?”
“Of course!” She smiled and instead of hopping down she instantly disappeared. After a moment Blaise heard a quiet shuffling past the closed pantry door. She popped back on the counter with an armful of ingredients. “What would you like to make? We can make pancakes, eggs and toast, bacon, sausage, anything!”
“Let’s do eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast? That will probably be best with how she’s been feeling.” He nodded to himself and Tilly disappeared again before apparating back with only bread in her hands.
“What would you like Tilly to do?” She sets down the bread on the counter and looks to Blaise.
“You can help with the meat, thank you, Tilly.” He smiled and went to grab a pan.
Once breakfast was ready Blaise divided the food up onto two plates after Tilly refused a portion. He found a tray to set the plate and juice on and he walked back upstairs.
When he slowly opened the door to Ana’s room he found her still laying down but eyes staring blankly at the window.
“How’d you sleep?” He asks quietly from his spot at the door, she slightly jumps and sits up quickly.
“Good.” She breathed out, swiping her hair out of her face. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” He muttered, stepping closer with the tray in hand, “Tilly and I made breakfast.”
“You did?” She stares at Blaise almost blankly for a moment before melting a second later and bit her lip slightly, “Thank you.”
“Eat.” He sets down the tray in her lap and sits on the side of the bed by her legs. “Was the potion helpful?”
“Yes. I should make some dreamless sleep potions today though.”
“You’re having nightmares?” He questions, furrowing his eyebrows slightly, Ana hadn’t told him about any dreams she’d been having. He’d assumed she couldn’t sleep because of the baby.
“Yeah, it’s fine though.”
“It’s obviously not if you can’t sleep.” He points out, crossing his arms slowly.
“It’s fine, Blaise.” She tries to send him a sleepy smile. “I’m sure they’ll go away.”
“What are they about?”
“I don’t want to talk about this.” She mutters, taking a bit of her food.
“Tell me anyway.” He uncrossed his arms and put a hand on her knee through the blanket.
“It’s just memories and sometimes…”
“Sometimes?”
“Things that could happen now.”
“Like?”
“Blaise.” She sighs lightly. “Please don’t push this.”
“Okay.” He thinks for a moment, wanting to say this next thought perfectly, “I think— I think it would be beneficial if we slept in the same room for a while.”
“Why?” She jerks back a little, surprised with his words.
“I want to be able to be there if— when you get sick. If you need something I don’t want you to have to get it yourself. I’m your partner in this.”
“It’s really not necessary.” She says, shaking her head at the thought. “I’m fine.”
“You say that word so much it’s lost its meaning. You’re not fine and that’s okay. It would also give me peace of mind if I was there for you. Please.”
She thinks for a moment, “We can try it out for a couple of nights.”
Blaise nods with a small smile and stands slowly, “I’ll get started on that Dreamless Sleep potion.”
“I can–”
“Shut up and eat.”
─TIED TOGETHER─
After Blaise finished making the potion he checked Ana’s room and found it empty. After calling out for her and hearing a small hum from a room down the hallway he found her in the nursery, hand on her stomach and looking around. “I hate this.”
“I know.”
“No– I hate this room.” She walked deeper into the room, dragging a finger down the width of the bassinet, “It’s so dull.”
“Do you want to paint it?” Blaise offers from his spot in the doorway watching her open the curtains.
“I think I do.” She mutters, “I can go into town and get some—”
“No.” Blaise shook his head, leaning against the doorframe, “I’ll get it, I don’t want you walking there.”
“What did I tell you about telling me what to do?” She rolled her eyes, slowly turning to him.
Blaise took two slow steps until he was just a foot in front of her, “I don’t really care about that right now. You’re my wife– pregnant with my child, You’ll stay here.”
“Blaise.” She huffed slightly, “I’m fine.”
“What did I say about that word?” He caught her wrist and gave it a small squeeze, daring her to argue with his eyes. When she didn’t speak up he continued, “Now, what color do you want?”
“I don’t know.” She deflated a little, looking around the room. “A light color, yellow?”
“Green?” Blaise smiled.
“Blue.”
“The kitchen is blue.” Blaise shook his head.
“You just want the baby to be a Slytherin.” She laughed for a moment before coming to a realization. “Is it safe? To go to Hogwarts?”
“I’m not totally sure, but we have time to figure it out.” He tried to smile reassuringly. “Let’s get yellow. We can leave the trim white. It’ll look great.”
“We need curtains too.” She hums, “Oh and maybe a rug.”
“You give me a list and I’ll do the best I can— we can always transfigure it.”
“I don’t like this.” She sighs, “I would like to go.”
“Accept defeat, baby.” He jokes, letting out a low laugh. “Make a list.”
Blaise leaves her in the nursery and goes back to his room to get ready to go.
When Blaise Apparated back from town his arms were full with everything from Ana’s list. Several different shades of paint, a rug, a lamp, and a mobile for above the bassinet.
He laid out the things in the nursery and watched as Ana examined it all. He was a little nervous— he wanted to make her… Happy? Maybe. He wanted to make her feel better. He wanted to do this right for her.
“How many colors did we need?”
“Well you said Yellow.” He crossed his arms a little defensively, “So I got oat, beige, Pale sunshine, sunflower, soft buttercup, and something called fucking bicycle yellow. Don’t say I didn’t give you options.”
Ana let out a light laugh, looking at all the different colors. “Thank you.”
“Shut up and let’s get to work.”
Ana rolled her eyes and picked up the Bicycle Yellow and Blaise got to work on moving the furniture from the walls. Ana went to drag the dresser, “Stop, you shouldn’t lift heavy stuff. Move the chair.”
“I can move the dresser.” She rolled her eyes but moved to the chair nevertheless. “You’re acting like I’m fragile.”
Blaise didn’t respond, moving the heavy objects himself as Ana got the paint ready. They painted in silence for a little until Ana spoke up, “I know we have time but… do you have name ideas?”
“Oh.” Blaise froze for a moment, his hand stopping mid stroke. “I never really thought about it.”
“Me neither.” Ana shrugged.
“I thought every girl had a list of names?” Blaise raised an eyebrow.
“I used to but…” She thought for a moment, “Nothing seems fitting anymore.”
“What doesn’t go with the name Zabini?” He laughed, “What did you assume your kid's last name would be? The Hufflepuff’s?”
“No.” She shook her head playfully, “They just seem too joyful now.”
“Maybe that’s what we need. Some joy.” Blaise turned to look at her, “Tell me them.”
“I uh— I liked Rory.” She shrugged, “I always like Aiofe and Jonah.”
“I like those.”
“No you don’t.” She laughed, still painting with her back to him.
“Yes I do!”
“I thought you might like something like…” She thinks for a moment, “Charles.”
“Charles?” He questioned, “What the hell made you think of that?”
“I don’t know, it’s a traditional name. Wait no– did you want to stick with the unique family names?”
“Don’t even, Anari.”
“That sounds weird.”
“What, your name?”
“No, you saying it. You’ve been doing that more recently.”
“Well, I can’t really call you Moody now can I?” He paused for a second, “Actually I think I can with the way you’ve been acting recently.”
Ana held a hand to her heart, faking a gasp. He dripped her brush in the paint and flicked it at him, getting yellow paint on his cheek.
“This is how you want to play?” He dipped his own paintbrush and splattered it on her shirt. “It’s on, honey.”
─TIED TOGETHER─
When the two had showered after their painting they met in Ana’s bedroom. Blaise stood on one side of the bed and Ana the other just staring at each other, not sure what to do next. “I can sleep on the floor.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, we’re both adults, we can sleep in the bed together.” Ana sighed before opening up the covers to climb into the bed. “Just stay on your side.”
“I could say the same thing to you. This morning you were spread eagle on the bed.”
“I was not!”
“You were, don’t even try to deny it, I woke up with a foot in my back.”
“Lies.” She shook her head while watching Blaise reach for the bottom of his shirt, his movements stuttered for a moment. “Go ahead.”
“You just want a show.” Blaise winked at her before pulling his shirt over his head and climbing into bed, facing her on his side. “You’re sure you’re okay with me staying in here?”
“Yeah. We’ll try it out.” She shrugs, tucking her hand between where her cheek met the pillow, sinking into the bed, and facing Blaise. “If you snore, you’re out of here.”
“I don’t snore.” He huffs offended, Ana gave him a suspicious look for a moment before taking a slow blink and clutching the blanket closer to her body. “Are you sure you’re comfortable?”
“We’ve been married for six months, it’s fine.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“I’m comfortable.” She whispered, “You know I’d tell you if I wasn’t.”
“I know.” He sighed, shuffling around to get comfortable, “Your bed’s better than mine.”
“Sorry. I realised we never discussed who should get what room.”
“I went to the guest room first, we didn’t need to discuss it.”
“I kind of feel bad about you sleeping in the guest room for half a year.”
“Don’t.” He shook his head gently, “We both needed our space.”
“And now?”
“Now? I don’t know.” He shrugs, “We’re different people.”
“Yes, you’re much nicer now.”
“I was never mean.”
“Liar.” She laughed, “You always tried to get on my nerves and push my buttons.”
“That’s not mean.”
“You’re right, it’s annoying.” She sends him a sickly sweet smile.
The whole day Ana hadn’t really thought about her birthday, there was no sadness. It was a good day. She was officially nineteen.
“Shut up and go to sleep.” He laughs, rolling around to turn off the light, leaving them in quiet darkness.
