🐅⭐ Hey I'm back! Tigerstar! The guy who's always here talking about important cats to him or cats that suck. I've been reminded that I never did a direct Sasha one. This could possibly take awhile.
So Sasha, Sasha Sasha Sasha. I just said your name four times...
There really isn't any simple way to put this, well no there is, but I'm not going. Before you, all kittypets in my eyes were bad, they were terrible. Now of course, I didn't know you were an ex-kittypet until later, and when I found out, I wasn't very nice about it. I'm really sorry for that, I wasn't a good cat. I invited you to ShadowClan and I also lied about what Firestar was doing, then the writers kinda messed up the book because the dog attack happend before Firestar was leader-
Anyways Sasha, I wish you stayed with me, I know I don't deserve that but I wish we were together longer, I hate how I never got to properly meet our kits and how I never got to meet Mothwing and Tadpole. I was still so proud of all my kits though, because they were also your kits. I wish we could've been a family. It isn't fair, they deserved a father. I'm sorry I couldn't watch over them right in my death, but I desperately want to be a family.
I wish you would have stayed, even if I didn't deserve it. I was a jerk to your friends and then to you, I know I shouldn't have been but I was much like everyone else in my life. You were the best thing to ever happen to me, I should've tooken advange of that instead of taking it for granted. You still loved me after what I was like and hearing what I did, that's when I knew that you were really my soulmate. If you'd have stayed with me, I KNOW you could have made a difference. You could've changed me, helped me see things differently, all of our kits would've lived, and we'd be able to guide Hawkfrost on a good path together. You would've been an asset to ShadowClan, you'd live a long life because of your kittypet vaccines. It could've all worked out. I know if I wasn't such a bastard then it could've been different. If you didn't stumble into whatever that hole was, you wouldn't have found out about what you did, you would've stayed and maybe you really could've changed me. I know you would've been capable of it. I love you Sasha, I really do, I'd never take you for granted again if I can just see you again, be with you again, just us. I want to reunite our family, you could've met Bramblepaw and Tawnypaw. We could've been happy, happy together. I didn't deserve it, I realise that, but I still want it. When you left, I always longed for you to come back. I miss you Sasha. My adorable siamese cat. I'm proud of you for being able to walk away from me when you saw I was bad, it's not easy for cats or twolegs to do that. I respect that you were able to do that, as much as it hurts. I didn't want you to leave though. I loved you Sasha, I still do love you even now.
I know we were meant to be, maybe I should have chased after you, would've things been different? I should have made more of an effort to show you that I loved you. I know we didn't know eachother for long but it was love at first sight for me, and you too apparently. If I could have apologized, maybe it would've been different. I miss you. I really really miss you Sasha. I should've tried to find you, I know I should've looked for you, if I didn't let you get away from me...it haunts me even now. Everything I did, how I just let you go without even putting up a fight. It was the first time in my life I ever gave up. Maybe because deep down, I thought you'd be better off without me, so for the first time, I just gave up. I was miserable for days when you left, but I had to suck it up, nobody could know I ever got sad, that I was capable of feeling heartbreak, I'm suppose to be Tigerstar.
But I had feelings, feelings I always tried to lock up, because anytime I cared about something, it always left, it was always gone. It never lasted, I'm not aloud to have feelings, I have to be tough! But how tough am I really I'd I can't show my emotions? I'm just weak, I can't be vulnerable and it makes me weak, if you stayed, maybe you could've helped me be more vulnerable and open up to the cats around me, the cats who actually cared and wanted to help me. I know you could have helped me. I needed you more then I realized, and like me, I only realized when you were gone that I needed you so bad.
You will always be my true love Sasha, the only one for me, and that will never change.
I miss you everyday, I hope you're doing better now, and I hope our children are too.