It's been so long that I'm starting to forget how your voice sounded
I'm forgetting the details of your skin
And I know there's nothing I can to do to stop this memory decay
Because I will never see you again.
I left the city in a moment of clear headed epiphany
Finally learning what it means to miss someone
Every block and corner store were pictures of your face
And maybe I could have found paths we never strolled on
but that whole damn city was claimed as your place
I don't miss it that much
It's been so long that I'm unsure which memories are real
and which ones I just made up in my head
You'll forever have the starring role in my nostalgia
You were the one I can say I loved for true
How did yesterday end up being tomorrow?
And now my mind doesn't work right anymore
I lost all track of time with you
Now every day I live is an after
and I just can't shake the before
It's been so long that most people wouldn't
remember even half of what I do
But I can see every move with you
as if they just happened yesterday
You never seem to fully fade
And as time goes on, and we drift to just blurry dots
I'll always think of you
The most important love that I lost
Nothing is random, nor will anything ever be... In the end, or rather, as things really are, any event, no matter how small, is intimately and sensibly tied to all others... And, when all is perceived in such a way as to obviate time, justice becomes apparent not as something that will be, but something that is."
A/N: ope, we about to freak poor Tommy out, I am not sorry. It’s pure fluff
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I run my hand through my hair as I walk about the house going through my mental check-list. Cameras? Check. Mics? Check. Extra batteries? Check. Backpack with the rest of my equipment? Checkity-check. I zip up the main zipper as I place it on the kitchen chair to grab my water from out of the fridge. “Tom?”
“Yes, love?”
“Are you sure you’re good to have the kids today?” I place the water bottle into the side pocket, clipping the top to the side strap for extra security.
Tom laughs from the living room, feet shuffling against the floor as he walks into the kitchen, Nathaniel settled on his hip, who upon seeing me reaches for me to hold him. Tom hands him over as I reach for him, Nathan’s head resting against my collar bone. “Love, I’m their dad. Besides, Harrison will be with me. They can’t outnumber us.”
“Mama.”
“Yeah, bud?” I coo, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead.
Nathan nuzzles his head into my skin, grabbing a fistfull of my tee shirt, “‘ungry.”
I giggle, Tom moving past me to grab Nathan’s breakfast. “Daddy is getting it for you, okay?”
“Mama?”
I turn and smile at Claire walking into the room, Spider-Man tsum tsum tucked under her right arm and left hand holding onto Tessa’s collar. “Good morning, Claire-bear, did you sleep well?”
She nods, walking over and wrapping her arms around my leg. “Yeah,” she nuzzles her face into my pants. “Are you going to see Uncle Dan and Uncle Phil today?”
“Yup,” I run a hand through her slightly curled, tangled hair.
“Can I go?” She looks up at me, big brown eyes mimicking Tom’s puppy-dog stare.
I smile down at her, “Don’t you want to spend the day with Daddy?”
“We aren’t going to Grandma and Grandad’s?” Her eyes light up as she lets go to run into Tom’s legs, nearly knocking him over. “Can we go to the park? Please, please, pleeeeeeeease?”
“Absolutely, princess.” Tom laughs, placing his hand on the back of her head to hug her closer.
My phone pinging pulls me away from the sweet moment. I reach for it off the table to see that the boys are outside. “Alright, babies, Mama has to head out.” I crouch so Claire can hug me while I set Nathan on the ground, “Be good for Daddy and Uncle Harrison, okay?” The two nod as I stand and press a quick kiss to Tom’s lips before grabbing my bag and head out the door.
“So Tom has the babies today?” Phil greets as I crawl onto the back seat of the Uber, camera in hand.
“Yeah, him and Harrison are taking them to the park and then they are going to have a picnic with them or something.” I laugh, shifting the bags onto the floor.
Dan smiles as he turns in the front seat, “so that’s why our last stop in filming is the park?”
I shrug, nodding my head. “Figured if I see them, I can check in on them. Nathaniel is one-hundred percent a mama’s boy.”
“He’d want to you to go home too-”
“Or come with me, baby boy is attached to the hip.”
The three of us meet up with the rest of the group to record, ready for a long, long day. As we progress and finally head to the park, I notice that Tom had sent me a few pictures of the babies. He had captioned the text ‘Park Ready ‘ which made me laugh.
While finishing up some of the final shots, I hear a familiar yell, making me turn. I laugh as Claire comes running over, barreling into my legs happily. “Mama!”
“Hey, Claire-Bear, are you having a fun day with Daddy?”
She nods her head, giggling, “Daddy is having a prank war with Uncle Hazza.”
“He is?” She giggles at my voice going higher, nodding her head. “Well, ain’t that fun?”
She sways from side to side, looking up at me before motioning for me to lean down. Once I crouch to her height, she lets out a little giggle, “Can we prank Daddy?”
“You wanna prank your Daddy?” I giggle, pinching her sides so she giggles again. “Doesn’t that sound fun, we can do it once I get home, yeah?”
“Nooooooo,” she whines, “wanna do it now!”
Phil crouches down beside me, chuckling as Claire launches into his arms, calling out his name. “What were you thinking, bug?” Claire goes into a big explanation while I stand, stretching my stiff muscles.
Dan walks over and gives me a funny look, “What you thinking about Howell?”
“She wants to prank Tom?”
“Yeah, we’ve all been in a mega prank war and its been taking over our house.”
He chuckles, “What was the worst thing that’s happened so far?”
“Hmmm,” I scratch the back of my head, “Tom pretended that Claire was having an allergic reaction while I was on a live stream and when I reacted I ended up getting sopped with green goo, in front of 10 million people...”
“So she wants to help her Mum now, I think you should go a little more all out.”
“Like what?” I laugh, replacing my camera battery while we are stopped.
“How would Tom react if your littles disappeared?”
“Freak the fuck out, that’s for damn sure.” I notice the way Dan gives me a knowing look, “No, I am not gonna kidnap my own kids!”
“I know you want this prank war to be done, I can see it in your face, and it’s not kidnapping if someone else on the opposite party knows-”
“No it’s not, Dan!” I shake my head, my focus going back to my daughter as she wraps her arm around my leg, looking up at me with bright eyes.
“Mama, prank Daddy?”
I look at Dan and Phil, both who look at me with mischief in their eyes. “This is a bad idea-”
“We won’t keep them too long, we can go back to your place if you are so worried.” Dan suggests.
“What are we doing?” Phil asks with a raised eyebrow.
“Pranking my husband.” I sigh, setting my bag down on the ground before sitting down beside it. Claire crawls into my lap as I pull out my ideas notepad and pen.
Harrison,
If you say anything about pranking your best friend before the proper point I will pull you into this prank war and it will be 10x worse than what I have had to deal with this month. I am taking the kids back home, and you are the only one who is going to know. Gonna let Tom have his own freak-out moment with the babies. Make sure Tom comes home after at least an hour, and make sure he doesn’t call the police. It won’t be a pretty thing to explain to the police that I took my own kids without telling my husband for a prank.
Much love, your other best friend, (Y/N)
I rip out the page, folding it in half and look at Claire. “Alright, little love, you are going to do two things for me, okay?” I point over at a large tree that isn’t too far from where Harrison and Nathan are seated. “You are going to hand this to Uncle Hazza, then take Nathan’s hand and tell him we are gonna see Mama, then come back to me. Okay?”
“Prank Daddy?”
“Prank Daddy.” I confirm, Claire snatching the piece of paper from my hand before running as fast as her little legs can carry her over to her uncle. I look at Dan and Phil, who have grabbed and rezipped my bag, “I’ll meet you over there, yeah?”
They give me a crisp nod before walking to the closest exit that was happened to be closest to the walk home. I move over to the tree and wait a minute before Nathaniel is beside me, reaching out for me. “Hi, baby baby, wanna go home and watch Totoro?”
“‘Roro.” He hums, eyes falling shut and thumb popping into his mouth as he settles against my chest. Claire grabs my hand as we walk to the exit, only letting go to take Phil and Dan’s hands so they can swing her between them. I smile at the scene, raising an eyebrow when my phone vibrates in my back pocket. When I fish it out, I let out a short, breathy laugh.
~
Hazza Bananza
Tom is gonna kill me for not telling him.
Also, he literally walked away to get Claire and ice-lollie.
I don’t think he will last an hour.
Mama MemeLord
Figure it out Osterfield
~
I roll my eyes as I send out the response, tucking it back into my back pocket. Nathaniel curls closer, breath even. Looks like I am gonna have to just relax for the next hour.
An hour later, Harrison had already texted me to say they were on their way home. I usher the kids into the back yard with Dan and Phil as I get started on dinner. I hear the front door slam open, Tom’s voice shaking as he calls out, “Claire Marie! Nathaniel James! Please tell me you are here?”
“Tom?” I call, a concerned face covering my features.
“Love! Y-you’re home!” He stutters, his eyes wide with fear and anxiety, “(Y/N), I lost the kids, we were at the park and I walked away to get Claire an ice-lollie and when I came back they were gone-”
My heart aches at his fear, and I grab his shoulders in an attempt to calm him. “Tom, Tom, Tom. Take a breathe. The babies are fine-”
“No I lost them, and I thought that maybe they just came home, or went to my Mum’s and Dad’s but they aren’t there.”
“Baby, you didn’t lose them.” I giggle, taking his face in my hands.
“I didn’t- but they were with me-”
“And my last stop was at the park, and our babies were tired and wanted to go home.” I tell him, moving my hands down to hold his.
“You had them? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Dan thought it would be a good prank after what you did to me last week.”
That’s when Tom’s eyes finally lighten, I can feel the weight finally falling away from his shoulders. “So you freaked me out ‘cause I freaked you out?”
“Yup, except, instead of freaking you out in front of 10 million people, I only let you freak out in front of your best friend.”
Tom spins around to point at Harrison, who already has his hands up in surrender. “You-”
Harrison points at me in a panic, “She put me up to it!”
“Daddy!” Claire’s voice pulls us all away from our conversation. Tom’s knees hit the floor as he takes her into his arms. “Pranked you!”
Tom lets out a wet laugh, “Yup, but we aren’t going to do anymore pranks for awhile, okay?”
“Okay! Can we play tea-party?”
Tom chuckles, nodding, “After dinner, okay baby-love?”
“Da’?” Nathaniel’s voice comes from the sliding glass door, Dan and Phil not too far behind.
“Hey, bud!” Tom opens his arm so he can hug Nathan, who just snuggles into him. “Missed you.”
“Well, now that the cat is out of the bag, we are going to leave,” Dan calls, trying to sneak by Tom without being caught.
“You aren’t allowed in my house for three months, Daniel.” Tom calls back, making the kids giggle, Claire running over to Dan calling out a long ‘no’.
“Why three months?” Dan laughs as he snuggles Claire.
“Cause I can’t ground you, and it just keeps you away from giving my wife bad ideas.”
“Leave him alone, Tommy.” I giggle, as he stands, wrapping an arm around his chest, pressing mine to his back. “Everyone is fine.”
“I know, I know, love.” He mutters, taking my hand in his to press a kiss to the back of it. “Have a safe drive home, mates. You too Harrison.”
“I’m out, gotta meet with my mum tonight anyways, bye guys!”
The house grew quiet as everyone left for the evening. Tom lets out a sigh as my timer goes off on the stove. “Dinner’s ready.” I mutter, letting go of Tom to pull the chicken out of the oven.
“Claire, will you take your brother to the bathroom and help him wash his hands for dinner?” I don’t hear a response, but the pitter-patter of feet leaving the room confirms that she was doing just that. The room stays silent as I feel Tom move toward me, the only sound coming from the creaking floorboards. A squeak leaves my parted lips as his hand connects with my toosh. “Love?”
“Yes, baby?”
His head lands onto my shoulder, a shaky breath leaving his parted lips. “I really thought I lost them today.”
“They’re safe, Tom, promise.” I run a hand into his hair.
“And for that I am glad, but darling, you do know that you aren’t getting away with this, right?”
I laugh and his other arm wraps around my waist pulling me flush to his chest. “I’ll make it up to you, promise.”
“Will you make me my favorite cookies?”
My laughter shakes us both, making him laugh along with me. “Sure, handsome.”
“We washed our hands!”
Tom let’s go of me to scoop up the littles and places them at the table as I bring over the meal. I smile at my little family at the table, Claire talking about her afternoon with Uncle Dan and Phil while I help Nathan with his food. Tom smiles at me when we make eye contact. My little family. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
"Claire, where are you, little love?" I call as I walk down the hall to the two year-old's room. I open the door to see toys spread across the floor, a Spider-Man tsum tsum that usually sat on the glider in the corner missing, as well as a Spider-Man blanket that was usually spread across the back. I raise an eyebrow at the lack of the little girl before I make my way down the hall. I smile, nudging my bedroom door open with my foot. I find Tessa and Claire curled up on the bed, her head resting on Tom's pillow, Spider-Man tsum tsum tucked under one arm, blanket spread across her back, and Tess laying her head over the curve of her spine; sleeping soundly. I pull out my phone, snapping a photo before sending it to him.
-
My Life💍
Image Attached
Little lovies miss you.
My Love💞
I miss my girls
My Life💍
I know
Only a few more weeks, Tommy.
My Love💞
A few weeks too long.
I have to get back to work
I love you, darling.
Give Tess and Claire love for me.
My Life💍
I will
I love you too, Thomas
-
"Mummy?" I lift my eyes to see Claire peek out from under the covers, looking at me with her bright, caramel colored irises.
"Hello, little love. How was your nap?" I whisper, sitting on the bed, Claire crawling into my lap.
"I miss Daddy." She whimpers, looking up at me with sad eyes. She pouts out her lower lip, matching Tom's puppy eyes to a t. I brush a curl behind her ear and press kisses all over her face just to get a giggle to escape her chest. She squeals, wrapping her arms around me neck as I cradle her to my chest.
"I know you do, but not long now. We are going to surprise Daddy, remember, but we can't tell him that. What did I tell you about that?" She places her finger to her little lips, letting out a small 'shhh.' "That's right, now. Why don't you and Tess go pack up a few toys in your blue bag-"
"The one Daddy got me when visiting Auntie Z?" Claire squeals in excitement, her hair falling in her face as she bounces on my leg.
"Yes, that one," I giggle, "I'll come in there and pack your things for the trip then Uncle Haz will take us to the airport, alright?"
Claire nods her head feverishly before crawling off my lap, sliding down the side of the bed, and running out of the room with Tessa on her heels. I let out a sigh, grabbing my suitcase from inside the closet and placing it on the bed to pack. I took time to pack a weeks worth of clothing inside the case, excited to see my husband after him being away for the past two months. I check the belongings a few more times before I walk down the hall to see Claire trying to fit as many toys inside the blue bag, so much to the point that it wouldn't zip.
"Little love, I think you have too much in your bag." I giggle, kneeling down beside her.
"But I want to show Daddy my new toys that Uncle Sam and Uncle Harry got me from their trip!" She stated, stomping her foot on the floor.
"Well, how about I repack it and then we can choose the clothes you wanna wear while we are in L.A., yeah?" I say, tucking my hand under her chin. She pouts her lip out, but nods nonetheless. "Alright, princess, let's get to packing."
Harrison shows up an hour later, staying for lunch before he drives us to the airport. Claire bounces on his leg, telling him all the things that she has been doing since the last time he watched her (which was only three days ago). He looks at me with soft eyes. "Are you going to tell him while you're there?"
"Mhm," I giggle, smiling as I sat back at the table. Claire slides off of Harrison's lap and tugs at my jeans. I scoop her up and press a kiss to her cheek.
"He's going to be excited," he laughs, as Claire takes a large bite of the sandwich on my plate, chewing with lips upturned.
"He will indeed."
~
I sigh happily as I make my way out of the airport, Claire's head lulled on my shoulder as I make my way to where Zendaya promised she would pick us up. I smile as I spot her, waving carefully without waking Claire up. Zendaya puts her hands out for me to pass Claire over to her, she smiles as Claire nuzzles her head into her neck, falling more deeply asleep. "I am going to grab our bag then we can go." I whisper, moving to join the crowd at the baggage claim. I stand there for a few minutes, looking back every so often to see Z bounce softly with Claire still sleeping sound in her arms. I reach across and grab the car seat and suitcase from off the belt before making my way back to Zendaya.
"Let's go, Holland," Z says with a wink, making me laugh. I follow her out and let her keep Claire preoccupied as I set the seat in her backseat and set it up. After I finish, I toss my bag in her trunk as Z places my sleeping child in her seat and buckling her in. Zendaya gets back inside the car and makes her way back to her house, letting out a sigh of relief. "So, how was she for the flight?"
"Really good," I tell her honestly, turning my head to look back at her. "She talked to the people across the row for awhile, then ended up talking to some of my fans while we waited for a connecting flight."
"She really is a people person," Z laughs, the sun setting behind the clouds.
"She is indeed," I turn back toward the front looking at her, "And you're okay with taking us to where they are shooting tomorrow, I don't want to be a burden on you-"
"You're not a burden, believe me, the boy misses you two like crazy." She states as she pulls up to her house. The two of us get out, I grab my bag while Z gets Claire out of her seat.
Once we are all settled and I have Claire tucked into bed, I smile pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Only a few more hours, little love, then we will see your Daddy."
~
I smile as Tom's assistant leads Claire and I out to where Tom is shooting. Jake, his assistant, smiles as he talks about how Tom has been doing nothing but talking about his little family waiting back at home. Jake motions for me to sit in Tom's chair while he goes back to finish some things up for Tom. I point out Tom for Claire, he had been playing a Mobster Boss for his latest movie, he was excited to be playing something new.
"There's your daddy, Claire-bear," I whisper. She sits up a little higher before bouncing on my lap. She opens her mouth but I am quick to shush her.
"Cut! Take a break everyone!" The director calls out, the hard expression on Tom's face softens and he lets out a small breath. I smile, setting Claire on the ground.
"Be careful, little love," I whisper, giving her the okay to run over to Tom.
She moves carefully over the cords that litter the ground, me walking behind her, before she runs as fast as her little legs will take her. "Daddy!"
Tom's head whips around, his face brightening as he watches his toddler run over to him. "Claire! My little love, what are you doing here?" Tom kneels down just as she throws herself into his arms, her arms going around his neck.
"Missed you, Daddy." She whimpers into his shoulder, Tom turning his head to kiss hers while he stands.
"Missed you too, princess." Tom's eyes fall on me, softening as he opens his arm to me. "Missed you as well, darling."
"We wanted to surprise you-"
"You definitely surprised me, loves." Tom pulls me into him, pressing a kiss to my forehead. He squeezes us closer before letting me go, but only slightly.
"Daddy," Claire tugs on his hair, messing with the slick hair behind his head.
"Claire-"
"It's fine, darling, they can fix that." He turns his head and presses kisses all over Claire's face, making her giggle. "What's wrong, princess?"
"Wanna cuddle, missed you." She states, tugging on his hair again.
"We get out early today, princess, then we can go get lunch and go cuddle." He tells her, kissing the top of her head as she cuddles into his neck, tugging his hair again. "Why don't you go see Mummy so Daddy can get his hair redone. Then we can finish up here, how's that sound?"
She only nods, reaching out for me to take her as Tom takes my hand to pull me toward his trailer. The makeup artist giggles at the way his hair is tugged out of place as she fixes it. Tom keeps looking at us in the mirror, smiling at us. Claire goes and sits on his lap for a bit until he has to be on set. At that point the two of us sit and watch him work from behind the t.v. monitors.
Tom tugs us back into his trailer after the long day, changing quickly before taking us out for lunch, and as the day progresses, the less Claire wants to nap and the more she tirely clings to Tom as much as she can.
When the evening rolls around, Tom, Claire, and I head back to his condo, only after we grab my luggage from Z's house. Claire is curled up into Tom's chest as he goes to set her in his king sized bed. He lets out a chuckle when she clings to his shirt, kissing her forehead one more time before tucking her in and walking back to where I was standing in the doorway. Tom takes my hand and tugs me out of the room and down the hall to the living room, where he pulls me into his lap and kisses me deeply.
"God, I've missed you." He sighs against my lips, bringing them back to his only after a second.
"I've missed you too, all of us have." I giggle as his lips trail down my jaw to my collarbone.
He lets out a soft chuckle, his nose tracing the mark that was now on my skin. "So, I was wondering, what if we had another one?"
"Another one?" I ask, biting my lip.
"Another baby, I mean, I think she's old enough to have another sibling."
"I don't think we need to work too hard on making that happen." I giggle, waiting for him to get the hint.
Tom lifts his head up to look at me, his eyebrows pulled together in question. "What do you mean?"
I lean down and press a kiss to his ear before speaking, "You remember the night before you left-"
"How could I forget..." His voice started out teasing until it trails off. He pulls his head back to look at me, "Wait, are you? Are you pregnant?" He whispers, looking at me in excitement.
"Claire is going to be a big sister, Tommy, and you're going to be a father again."
Tom let's out a laugh, kissing my lips again, lacing his fingers in my hair. Tom suddenly pulls away. "Oh, God, how are we going to tell Claire?"
"That's a job for another day," I laugh, smiling at him, before tugging at his hair to bring him closer. "All I want to do is spend time with my husband before our little two year old wakes up and disturbs the moment."
"That I can handle, my love. That I can handle." He states, bringing me into another breathtaking kiss, that makes me forget about the world for a moment. Only knowing that this is where I am meant to be, in his arms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are at the end! I cannot thank you all for reading. Let me know what you think, and if you are looking for something else to read (if you haven’t already read it) I have another full series completed on my masterlist.
"How was your day?" I sleepily murmur, turning over only slightly, wincing at the pain in my stomach.
"Fine, are you okay?" Tom asks, laying an arm across my waist as he cuddles into my back.
"Yeah, just not feeling well." I mutter, laying my head down back into my pillow. Tom hums behind me, smiling about being curled up against me for the first time in twenty-four hours. I lay in bed, exhausted, but wide awake. I try and focus my thoughts on breathing in and out slowly, or Tom's breath hitting my neck. After a few hours of being unsuccessful in sleeping, I slowly get out of bed and walk into the bathroom to fill the hot water bottle to place on my back. Tess follows me into the bathroom, letting out a small whine behind me since I should have been in bed.
A gasp escapes my lips at the sharp pain that shoots through my abdomen. It had been progressively getting worse all day, but now it was unbearable. I place a hand on the counter to steady myself when I feel something drip down my legs. At first, I think that I had just pissed myself, a normal occurrence with how far in the pregnancy I am, but as I look down at the floor and the intensity of the pain I come to a very exciting and scary realization: my water just broke.
"Shit, shit, shit." I whisper, Tess whining loudly now that she could see my panic. "Tom?" I call out, not moving from where I had been standing, leaning over the sink. When I don't hear him move, I snap my fingers and point at him so Tess will get back on the bed, calling his name again but now it comes out more shrill, going up an octave.
I can see Tom stir in the mirror, sitting up quickly as Tess jumps on the bed in a panic, lapping at his face. Tom locks eyes with me in the mirror and throws the covers off of himself and comes to my side. "Love-"
"My water just broke." I state as the contraction subsides. Tom's face pales, I slowly stand up and move to place my hand to his cheek. "I need you to go start the car. I am going to change and grab the baby bag-"
"I'll get the bag, you focus on how far apart the contractions are." Tom states, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead before he moves out of the bathroom and out of the room, grabbing a sweater on the way out. I make my way to change into a fresh pair of maternity pants and a sweatshirt before slowly standing from the bed and grabbing my phone. Tom quickly comes up the stairs, Tess on his heels, with his phone pressed to his ear. "Yeah, we will see you there." Tom looks at me as he places a hand on my waist and holds my hand in the other while he helps me down the stairs. "I called my parents and yours, they will meet us there. I texted Haz and he or Mia will let Tess out before coming to the hospital in a few hours."
"Thank you," I breathe. I make Tom stop as I place a hand on my lower stomach, wincing at the contraction. Tom stands by my side, rubbing my back carefully while keeping me steady since we were still standing on the stairs. Once they subside, he helps me walk the rest of the way down and into my shoes, rushing out the door into the bitter February air.
"Today's the day, love." Tom says aloud, but I can see his frazzled state as he takes the familiar route to the hospital. Once there he leaves the car, running inside to grab a nurse. I groan as another contraction occurs, only noticing the door opening when Tom carefully helps me out of the car and into a wheelchair. He hands his keys off to someone and the three of us are rushing into the hospital.
"I hate hospitals." I complain, looking at Tom while they place the I.V. into my arm not long after being settled in the room that would be home for the next few days.
"You're doing well, love, not long now." He whispers, pressing kisses to my cheeks.
As the hours pass, the more anxious I become. Tom has been walking with me up and down the hallways, running through different breathing exercises, dancing with me to help the baby along, and praising me through each contraction.
I let out a groan, shutting my eyes tightly as I press my forehead to his while he runs his hands up and down my back with the slightest bit of pressure. "I can't take it," I whine, tears falling down my cheeks. "Call the nurse, the doctor, anyone, I don't care. I can't do natural, I need the damn epidural," I cry.
Tom mutters a quick, "I'll be back, love." Before someone takes his place.
"Hi, honey," my mom whispers as she pushes the hair away from my face.
"When did you get in here?" I ask, looking up at her.
"Just a minute ago, we all have been taking shifts on who is in here with you and Tom." She states, rubbing the back of my head like she did when I was little.
"It hurts, Mama."
"I know, they will be here in a minute, okay?" She mutters, I nod and focus on my breathing.
Tom returns a few minutes later, followed by my doctor who smiles at me, "Said you wanted an epidural, can you sit up for me? Tom, you will want to be in front of her supporting her." Tom helps me into a sitting position, moving to stand in front of me while I ball up his sweater in my hands and focus on his breathing in front of me. I squeeze my hands together at the pressure in my back until it dissipates, letting out a sigh. "That should start working soon, I'll come back and check you in a few minutes, alright?"
"Thank you, Dr. Wright." Tom whispers, helping me to lay back down on the bed with him positioned behind me to rub my shoulders and press kisses along my shoulder and neck. "I'm sorry, love-"
"Not long now, Holland. Then we can hold our little girl." I whimper, leaning into him so he just holds me. Tom wraps his arms around me before pressing a kiss to my temple. Tom and I stay in that position until Dr. Wright returns to check and see how dilated I am.
"You're about eight centimeters! Within the next half hour we are going to wanna push!" She smiles at us walking out of the room to get ready.
"Ya know? I wanted to record the experience, but I am glad I forgot to bring stuff with us." I laugh half heartedly, laying my head on his shoulder. I whine as Tom moves from behind me so he can stand.
"We can talk about the experience in a video, let's just enjoy our solitude for now." He whispers, kneeling beside the bed before pressing a kiss to my lips.
The half hour rolls by quickly, and soon enough I am getting ready to push. Tom stands by my head, only peeking over the sheet to see how far we had to wait.
"One more push, (Y/N)! She's almost here!" Dr. Wright calls, "Ready?"
I whine as I push again, a sigh of relief escapes my lips as cries are heard in the room, Claire is set on my chest being wiped off quickly. "There you are," I breathe, tears slipping down my cheeks as Tom presses kisses to my hairline. "You're so beautiful."
"She's finally here, love." Tom whispers, tears falling down his cheeks. Tom leans down, cupping my cheeks as he kisses my lips.
"Tom, we need you to cut the cord." Dr. Wright calls, pulling him away from me. Tom is quick to cut the cord before they sweep her away for some final check ups, and the nurse instructs me that I need to push again, then I can finally rest.
I lay my head down a few minutes later, smiling at Tom who is standing slightly behind the doctors while they check our little girl over. I watch as they swaddle her and pass her to Tom, he holds her ever so carefully, smiling down at her as he walks over to sit beside me.
"You did amazingly, love. Look at her, she's perfect." He whispers, handing her over so very carefully. I hold her in my arms, letting out a small sigh, leaning into his side now that he is laying on the bed with me.
"Welcome to the world, Claire Marie Holland."
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tomholland2013 Today, February 17th, marks one of the best days of my life. At 4:56 this morning, (Y/N) and I welcomed our little girl to the world. We are pleased to introduce our daughter, Claire Marie Holland.
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I open my eyes at the soft light coming from the partially opened curtain. I nuzzle my face back into the pillow and listen the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof and Tom's soft breathing. I roll over carefully as to not jar Tom's arm that is across my back.
He's still fast asleep when I finally am able to roll over completely to look at him. His face is free of worry lines and in the glow of the early morning sun he looks younger, like when I'd wake up next to him when we were thirteen after spending the previous day exploring Kingston. His breath releases from his slightly pouted lips in small puffs, and his ruffled curls spread across his forehead wildly from a long, peaceful nights sleep.
I slowly crawl out of bed, only once I am free from under his arm. I slip on my favorite sweatshirt over my t-shirt and shorts before making my way downstairs to start up the coffee and cook breakfast. I turn on my phone and wait for the notifications to come rolling in from the night before. I stretch my arms over my head before I grab eggs, green peppers, cheddar cheese, and ham from the fridge and begin making loaded scrambled eggs while the bread in the toaster toasts. I hum along to some tune that lingers in the back of my mind while I work and smile at the notification that my and Tom's fans enjoyed the update from last night.
My mind is brought back to Tom and his weird behavior the past few days. Now, Tom is a weird person in general, but the way he had been acting was a little further out of the ordinary.
The first incident happened on the second day of our trip. Tom and I had been wandering through the Portland Art Museum, I wandered away from Tom while he is looking at one piece, over to a painting. As I stand there looking at the piece, admiring it, a man comes to stand next to me.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" The man asks, he glances at me from the side, smiling at me.
"Absolutely gorgeous," my hand lifts to point out my favorite features, "I love how they captured the light coming from the back window, it causes the colors of the flowers to darken on this side, and the way the other light source hits the roses makes them look like they are so much brighter, but it also allows the shadows of the petals to contrast making these parts here and here pop that much more."
"You seem to know some things about art." He says moving to face me, "I'm Jared."
"(Y/N), and I would hope so, my best friend and her little sister are both phenomenal artists."
"That's amazing." He mutters, "Have they ever thought to draw you?"
"Uh, no, why do you ask?" I let out a soft laugh.
"Because you, my dear, are a masterpiece," he states with a smirk.
I blush softly and let out a small laugh. "Well, uh, thank you, I definitely haven't heard that one before."
"Well, I'm sure I could think of more when I take you out this evening, my treat?"
I go to open my mouth to politely decline since I wasn't the one to just go out on dates especially since I was on vacation, but Tom beat me to it.
"This piece looks lovely, darling, no wonder you wandered away." He says, wrapping an arm around my waist and places himself on the other side of me before glancing around me to the man to my right. "Wouldn't you agree, mate?"
Jared nods, and gives me a tight lip smile. "Yeah, dude, looks great." He glances at me softly before nodding his head, "It was nice talking to you, (Y/N), have a nice afternoon."
"Uh, you too, Jared." I say as he gives me a soft wave before leaving the room. I glance at Tom and notice his jaw is set and he isn't really looking at the piece. "Wanna head over to the next room? The Asian art is always really interesting." I ask with a small cock of my head. Tom smiles at me and nods before letting me lead him out the other archway away from where Jared disappeared moments ago.
The second incident happened at the Portland Zoo. Tom and I were wandering through the Africa section, hand in hand. Tom tugged me away from the painted dogs exhibit to walk down to where the giraffes were. Tom and I walk up to the area and I let out a soft, breathy "Wow."
"Turn and look at me, love." Tom says I turn and smile at him as he snaps a photo of me on his phone. After, he pays for me to be able to feed them, taking pictures of me laughing happily as a handler talks to me about the specific giraffe that had walked up to have a nice snack. When Tom and I walk away, we both hear people calling our names, making us come to a soft halt to see a group of teens jogging over to us.
"Holy cow, you're Timelock! And you're Tom Holland! Can - could we get a picture with you two? We promise we won't bother you after." One of the girls asks, bouncing on the balls of her feet.
"Yeah, absolutely!" I say, "Do you want pictures separately or all together?"
"All together is fine," she looks at her group who nod excitedly, "can we get it with the both of you in the picture?" She motions for a woman to walk over and from the looks of it, she was the girl's mother. "Mom, can you take the picture, please?"
The woman nods while we get into our poses, once we are done, Tom and I hug each one of them, once we are done his arm attaches itself to my waist while the group talks to us happily before they bid us goodbye.
"Sorry for bugging you on your date!" The girl, Madison, calls as they walk away. Tom chuckles beside me before waving with me and tugging me back in the direction of the small food court.
"That was fun." Tom mutters in my ear, his lips grazing the shell of my ear, making me blush.
"Gotta love our fans." I reply, looking at him to see the soft smile on his face.
The latest incident happened while we were hiking in Mt. Tabor Park. Tom and I had planned a full day of hiking, including packing a lunch, snacks, and waters so we would be good throughout the day. While we walked, Tom held my hand, helping me over fallen logs and other obstacles by either offering a hand or full on scooping me up bridal style and carrying me over several obstacles at a time.
"Tom," I giggle as he sets me down carefully, "I promise, I'm okay. I can climb over those too, you know?"
"I know, I just love to spoil you, I have to." He teases, smiling at me softly, blowing a curl from off his forehead.
"Well, I don't mind you spoiling me, but I feel like you are going to hurt yourself trying to keep me from injuring myself." I say, retaking his hand as we walk the trail, looking over the hills at the scenery below.
"I won't hurt myself," he scoffs, squeezing my hand and pressing a soft kiss to my temple. We stand there in quiet silence, or as quiet as it can be with other hikers walking up and down the trail.
"Enjoying the view?" Someone calls from behind us, Tom and I turn our head to see two guys walking up the hill toward us. We had passed them a mile back while they were taking a break and checking their map.
"It's gorgeous out here." I call once they are close enough to hear.
"Chris and I come out here every weekend to hike, it's wonderful, something new every time we come." The man puts his hand out, smiling, "The name's Zack."
"I'm (Y/N), and this is Tom." I say, motioning to Tom as I introduce him to the men in front of us.
"Nice to meet you both," Chris says smiling. "We were planning on stopping ahead and having our lunch, we were wondering if we could finish this part of the hike with you two. We enjoy talking with new hikers, hope that doesn't sound too weird."
"No, we would love that, we were going to stop and have lunch soon anyways." Tom says, motioning for us to start back up and continue our hike. While we walk, Tom either has his hand laced in mine or has it on the small of my back under my backpack. This doesn't go unnoticed by the two men walking with us. Once we make it to the eating area, Tom runs off to the restroom while I unpack the baby wipes and our sandwiches from my backpack and pull out a water from his.
"So, who long have you and Tom been together?" Chris asks, causing me to stop and lift my eyes from the task at hand.
"Oh, uh, Tom and I aren't dating. We are best friends." I state.
"Friends don't do what he has been doing with you, sweets." Zack stated.
Chris giggles next to him. "He's had his hands all over you, honey. If that's not obvious flirting then the way he has been talking to you is a definite clue."
"It's really not like that, we've known each other since we were very little. It's just how we interact." I say, brushing a strand of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail behind my ear.
"Well, we are just stating what we see." Zack smiles, "Either way, you two are really sweet together, it's nice to see two people so comfortable together."
I smile at them, but never get to respond because Tom plops down next to me.
"The water doesn't work, you grabbed the wipes right?" He asks, I had him one, "Thanks, love." He leans across and presses a quick kiss to my cheek before we start eating, a blush staying permanently on my cheeks for the next hour.
I let out a sigh, convincing myself that it's just me over reacting to the situations.
"Did you hear what I said, love?" Tom mutters into my ear as his hands find their home on my hips, making me jump and giggle against his chest.
"Sorry, my mind was elsewhere. What'd you say?"
"Just said that it smelled good, but I did miss waking up to you this morning." He sighs, resting his head on my shoulder, wrapping his arms around my waist while swaying us side to side as I continue humming. "What song are you humming, love?"
"Um," I mutter, "Life Changes by Thomas Rhett."
He lets out a hum before unwrapping an arm from my waist to do something behind my back. After a minute, the song I had been humming is playing behind me. I turn and look at him smiling. He sticks his hand out for me and I quickly turn down the burner to take his hand and sway with him to the tune of the song.
"Ain't it funny how life changes, 'y wake up, ain't nothing the same and life changes. You can't stop it, just hop on the train and you never know what's gonna happen, you make your plans and you hear God laughing. Life changes, and I wouldn't change it for the world, the world, oh no-." I sing along before the toast pops out of the toaster, scaring us half to death. We look at one another and laugh at one another before he takes his place at the stove finishing the eggs while I butter the toast and fill our mugs with coffee so we can eat and get our day started.
"I missed that." I hear him sigh behind me, I lean away from the table and look at his bare back in front of me.
"Missed what?"
"Just, missed you, doing things that only we appreciate. The whole works." He says, a small blush coloring his cheeks.
"Missed you too, Tom." I smile, hugging him from behind and pressing a kiss into his tee-shirt covered shoulder.
He hums before patting my hands so I let go and he loads our plates with food. We eat in silence for awhile, scrolling through our phones to see what we had missed the last few days. I go to GameSquad's twitter and giggle at the latest post. "What are you giggling at, (Y/N/N)?"
"Let me read this tweet from GameSquad, I'm sure it's from Jac. 'The fact that everyone is bombarding this page because @Timelock is away on vacation means one thing, she is not allowed to go on vacation again, unless we come with. #whatareyoudoing #gamesquad #weloveyoubut'"
"Oh my God," Tom laughed loudly, wiping a fake tear from his eye. "That's amazing."
"Only my friends," I giggle back, quickly commenting '@GameSquad sorrynotsorry' in the comment section. I let out a sigh and notice Tom watching me, "Whatcha looking at, Holland?"
"Just staring off." He states, rubbing a hand under his nose, "I was wondering what you wanted to do today?"
I sip my coffee and let out a soft hum, "Well, I think it should be done raining soon. I really want to go the Japanese Garden in Washington Park, and I was wondering if we could go to that bar in town that we have passed several times for dinner? Because you and I both know neither of us will wanna cook tonight."
"That sounds like a plan, we will probably want to dress a little more warmly since it's a little cool out." Tom states, wiping his lips with a napkin. "I'll clean up so you can get ready."
"You sure?" I ask standing and scraping what was left in the trash, "I can help clean up."
"No, go ahead and get ready. This won't take me too long." He states, motioning me to go upstairs. I smile and peck the top of his head before ascending the steps. I dig through my drawers looking for something to wear. "Love?" Tom calls.
I walk over to the edge to see Tom looking back up into the balcony. "What's up?"
"I don't think the rain is gonna let up, why don't we just stay in then we can go to the bar tonight and the Japanese Park tomorrow?"
"Okay, I'm up for that, gives me a bit to do some laundry and we can sit on the couch and relax."
"Don't bother changing out of your comfy clothes then, but will you grab my hoodie?" He calls, smiling. I turn and grab it from off the bed and toss it down to him. "Thanks, love. Want me to put in a movie?"
"Please!" I call, grabbing an arm full of laundry before walking down the stairs. Oh what a perfect, lazy day it was going to be.
~
"Ready to go in there?" Tom bangs on the bathroom door, almost messing me up while I fix my hair.
"I'll be out in a minute, asshole." I laugh, curling the last strand of hair before I check my makeup one more time. I smile at my reflection, happy with the way I look dressed in a pair of tight black jeans and a red, lacy shirt where the sleeves stop just above the elbow, the neckline plunging in a deep v. I walk out and find Tom sitting on the bed scrolling on his phone. I grab my ankle boots, sit on the bed next to him to slip them on and zip them up.
"Uh, (Y/N/N), isn't that a little revealing?" Tom asks, his voice shaking slightly as he looks at me.
"It's not that bad, Tommy." I giggle at him as I smile at him. "C'mon, the Uber is here and I don't wanna have to pay extra for making them wait." Tom sighs and follows me down the steps, I turn and admire the dark pair of jeans and burgundy button up tee-shirt he is donning before he hands me my jacket and purse. Tom locks the door behind us as I walk over to the car and smile at the female driver to confirm our ride. We drive to the bar in silence, beside the radio playing in the background. Once we pull up I thank the woman and step out of the car with Tom close to my heels. Tom wraps an arm around my waist and walks up with me to the door.
Inside is a quaint bar, an old jukebox sitting in the corner, two walls are lined with booths, the wall left of the door is the bar, and tables litter the rest of the space. Tom and I walk up to the bar and sitting down.
"Hey, what could I get you two to drink?" The bartender asks, his eyes lingering on my chest, but I decide to ignore it.
"I'll have a (F/A/D)." I say with a small smile.
"And I'll have a beer on tap. We'd also like some menus, we heard the food here is very good." Tom states, his jaw set as he speaks.
"You got it," the bartender, Jeff, states. He hands us each a menu before getting our drinks ready. I glance over the menu and watch Tom out of the corner of my eye. He barely looks at the menu and watches the bartender as he works.
"Tom, did you find something you might wanna get?" I ask innocently, leaning a little closer to him. He looks at me, but shrugs.
"Don't know yet, did you find anything?"
"I think I'll get a cheese burger, just sounds good." I hum, laying my head on his shoulder in hopes that it will comfort him.
"I think I'll get that too, make it easy on them." He states, pressing a quick kiss to my head.
The bartender comes back and sets our drinks down in front of us. "Here you go, did you figure out what you wanted?"
"We both would like the cheese burger, she would not like (Y/L/F/T) on her's." Tom states, handing back out menus.
"Sounds good, those will be out soon." The bartender states before leaving again. Tom lets out a sigh and I lace my fingers into his under the bar. He turns and smiles at me, but his eyes still linger on the bartender down the bar, glaring at his lingering gaze.
As the night goes on, Tom becomes more on edge, making me more annoyed. Whether it's the bartender making comments on my shirt or the lingering gazes of other men in the bar, Tom just can't seem to relax.
Tom squeezes my hand softly, moving to whisper in my ear. "I'll be back, just running to the loo. You think you'll be okay?
"I'll be fine, Tom." I state, faking a smile. He nods, squeezing my hand before leaving. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in, moving the straw around my third drink of the evening.
"I thought he would never leave." I turn to see a guy sitting a chair away. He gives me a bright smile, making me smile back. "I'm Josh."
"(Y/N)," I say, bringing my drink to my lips.
"What is up his ass? If you ask me you look absolutely amazing, and if you were my girl I'd be showing you off."
I let out a laugh, "Tom is just protective."
"Well I guess that is fair, I mean," he licks his bottom lip, eyes lingering on my figure, "look at you."
I feel my face get hot, and I avert my gaze from the man to my left. A soft, awkward laugh escapes my lips. Josh keeps looking at me up and down, biting his lip after a minute before he standing from his chair, taking two strides to stand next to me.
"Why don't we get out of here, I can show you what you're really missing out on in a man." He states, putting his hand out in hopes that I will take it. Instead I feel another hand on my shoulder, squeezing almost too tightly.
"She's not interested." Tom's voice comes from behind me, tone cold.
"I wasn't talking to you-"
"Well, when you get into my girls face, you suddenly are. She isn't going home with you."
"I hope you have a great night, Mr. Holland." The bartender muses, coming into my view, handing Tom his credit card and a receipt before telling us to have a good night. Tom carefully tugs me from my place and hands me my coat before making our way outside. Tom leads me to a car and opens the door for me, he greets the driver, but I don't even hear it. All I can focus on is the anger and embarrassment bubbling up in my veins.
The drive is short, and once we get to the house I get out and walk to the door, waiting for Tom to make his way over to unlock the door. He fishes the key from his pocket and opens the door. I walk in ahead of him, throwing my jacket over the couch and turn to look at him. "Okay, explain to me what the hell is going on with you-"
"He was harassing you so I stepped in-"
"That's not what I am talking about, that I can understand you stepping in." I pace in front of him. "You were being an ass all night: the bartender, the other guys at the bar-"
"I was keeping the creeps away from you!" He tries to reason, waving his hand in the air.
"You don't know if they were creeps, Tom!" I yell, raking a hand through my hair.
"Did you not notice how they looked at you, they were looking at you like you were a piece of meat!" Tom yells tugging at his hair.
"It doesn't matter!" I shake my hand in the air before pinching the bridge of my nose, "I wasn't acknowledging it so why did you feel the need to glare at everyone tonight! We couldn't have just a nice night, out at a bar-"
"I'm a guy, I know what was going through their heads as they looked at you!" He shakes his head and lets out a bitter laugh while he runs a hand through his hair.
"Okay, let's face it, Tom." I pull my hand away from my face and stand unmoving, "I know there is something else going on," I strode forward toward him, fuming. "Cut the bullshit, what is going on in that head of yours, Tom. Why does it bother you so much for someone to be flirting with me-"
"Maybe because it kills me to think of you with someone that isn't me!" He yells, throwing his hands into his hair to tug at the roots. "Maybe I want it to be me, because God dammit, (Y/N), I love you. I've loved you my entire life!"
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