It’s my turn to pay...
Fortunately for me, many of the times that I am invited to breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee or for adult beverages my friends find a way to be ninja like and buy for me. It is annoying when you go a full week of meetings and events without paying for a single thing and it made me feel dirty...
Those that are considered of the “haves” and those of the “have nots” handle situations like this differently.
Those that come from a background of having many resources know that in order to be successful, they will need to rely on others to get there and it is ok to accept kindness and gifts. It has little to no impact on their pride. This does not mean that they never offer to pay but they do not let pride get in the way of others doing nice things for them.
Those that come from a background of having few resources feel differently. They strive to be able to take care of themselves. They let pride get in the way because they no longer want to always be the person that needs to take help. Instead of being the person needing a hand up they would like to be the person offering a hand to someone else.
When offering to help or offering to pay for them, they can become offended because of their past experiences.
After a while my pride gets in the way and I feel the need to pay. Many of those times in the last three years resorted in me overdrawing my account and taking an overdraft fee in addition to the overall bill. That could make for a couple really pricey lattes. What was even worse was when I felt it was my turn to pay and my card was declined. I had gotten used to it happening and was quick to make an excuse about that particular card and swap it out for another one or cash.
If you can not pay for you and your friends glass of wine, you probably should not be going out for wine.
Pride can be a really bad thing. Be honest with yourself. Do not be afraid to take help. Do not put yourself in the situation.