May 21, 2025
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Imagine youre not a great person. Imagine you've done some bad stuff to some people, but hey, some people have done some bad stuff to you, so maybe it evens out. And then you meet a man who clearly knows his shit- easily doubles your money the very first time you meet. He's a little skittish, maybe a little sleazy, but he's clearly got a skillset and a knack for making money. Only, he says he's left that all behind. He doesn't do that anymore, he's quit and gone straight. But he clearly wishes he hadn't- whatever he substituted it with is not fulfilling him. So you get closer to him, you meet his friends, you listen to him talk about his boring job and then contrast it with the way he lights up when he talks about his old schemes, his tricks and grifts and plays. And you, well... you're not a great person either, and hell, you like money, who doesn't? So you give him a nudge in the right direction- and that's all it takes. His resolve breaks immediately, and the two of you plunge headfirst into the grift. You establish a safe word for when it's time to grab the cash and go: you land on "hotshot", as you both down one, and then you're off.
And then you're in it. You're doubling, tripling, quadrupling your money. It all started from your money, and you've put up quite a lot of it, but this man is making good on his promises. Even here he's apprehensive, as if he still feels he shouldn't be doing this, and again you remind him, this is the way to live. Why leave it behind, isn't this so much more fun? Isn't this easier and more fulfilling? Why continue living if you're going to do so free from joy in your life? And you see it. You see the last of his reservations crumble, and you almost laugh to yourself. What an idiot. Whatever, doesn't matter, you're rich now. He whips himself up into a frenzy, and you make the easiest money you've ever made. You tell him the two of you make a pretty good team. He replies that this'll be a good start. And this makes you pause. You tell him it's time to go, you've made a shit ton of money. Staying in this any longer brings way more risk than reward. And then when he looks at you, you don't even recognize him anymore. His pupils are wide and his hair is slicked back and you've only just now realized how he's clutching all the money you've made. You think, now this is enough. You say the safe word, expecting him to snap out of it.
"Hotshot. Did you hear me? Hotshot!"
And he stares at you, but doesn't see you. He looks past you like there's an audience watching him. And he doesn't even process it, barely even hears the word. Instead he cracks a wide smile, and says, consumed by hubris;
"I'm the biggest hotshot that you've ever met."
And your eyes go wide, and you finally realize that you're in too deep. This guy isn't a grifter, he's an addict. And you've been enabling him the whole time. He might have made it out, but every time he got close, you dragged him back down by the collar. And now he's going to destroy himself, and you alongside him.
And then also imagine that your name is Double Cheeseburger
The doctor wrote “Botnia Paradise Yaoi” on my prescription
imagining bertel getting cancelled on twitter because he ignored tupla's safe word
Botnia Paradise English Covers
Just for fun I translated and recorded my two favourite Botnia Paradise songs! I worked off the literal translation from this video, and tried to rewrite the lyrics to fit the meter, vibe, and theme!
Tracks might be a bit quiet, so be prepared to turn up your volume <3
Lyrics for both below the cut!
constantly thinking abt tupla's experience on botnia paradise... you meet an otter dilf who wins you a cool ten thou and then takes his midlife crisis way too seriously and loses it all instantly and you have to make time between fujoing out about him and his buddy, geeking on that same guy's endeavours towards his crush, and beating up a man and taking his binoculars just so you can break even back home... insane, nobody is doing situationships like them