#timothy dowling

[mikyapixie]

𝕁𝕦𝕤𝕥 𝔾𝕠 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕀𝕥 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝔸𝕕𝕒𝕞 𝕊𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕝𝕖𝕣 & 𝕁𝕖𝕟𝕟𝕚𝕗𝕖𝕣 𝔸𝕟𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕟 𝕆𝕡𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕕 𝕀𝕟 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕤 𝟙𝟝 𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝔸𝕘𝕠, 𝔽𝕖𝕓𝕣𝕦𝕒𝕣𝕪 𝟙𝟙, 𝟚𝟘𝟙𝟙!!!

𝓘 𝓙𝓾𝓼𝓽 𝓛𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓜𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓮!!

[adamwatchesmovies]

Pixels (2015)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Based on the 2010 short of the same name by Patrick Jean, Pixels has some neat visuals… and nothing else to offer. Even video game and arcade enthusiasts won't like it, as the film is more concerned with giving Adam Sandler’s posse pay checks and indulging in nostalgia than utilizing the tools at its disposal to full effect.

As a child, Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler) became a champion of arcade games until he was defeated by his rival Eddie Plant (Peter Dinklage) in the world championship’s final round. Years later, Sam has a chance to make a name for himself when aliens misinterpret old video game footage as a declaration of war and attack our planet with arcade-inspired creations.

Kevin James as the President of the United States. Pixels is a sci-fi comedy but even so, our suspension of disbelief only goes so far! The man just doesn’t fit the role. For the most part, however, everyone else who appears in the film - Adam Sandler as himself, Josh Gad as the conspiracy-theory obsessed nerd who lives in his basement, Michelle Monaghan as a weapons developer who will inevitably fall for Sandler’s character even though they hate each other upon first sight - do fine with their parts. It’s the material they’ve been handed that spells "game over".

There are many unkind words we could use to describe Pixels. “Self-indulgent”, “unfunny”… but I’m going to choose is “lazy”. It’s a movie about arcade games which gets basic things about the games it’s showcasing wrong. Cheat codes for arcade games? Why would those exist when the machines were designed to eat quarters? A Smurfs arcade game? I couldn’t find evidence that one ever existed. Apparently the barrels and fireballs in Donkey Kong move without pattern… even though they do in real life. And that’s just scratching the surface. This film operates without any semblance of logic. In one battle between mankind and the aliens, the players must operate under rules which emulate the game - Pac Man being a good example. In other scenes, like when the heroes play a jumbo-sized version of Centipede, our “team” is allowed hundreds of players. When we get to the final challenge (Donkey Kong), anyone can do whatever they want regardless of whether it’s possible in the game they’re supposedly playing.

This is a significant disappointment from director Chris Columbus, whose career has had its ups and downs but doesn’t typically churn out this type of Happy Maddison slop. Every fifteen minutes, the film seems to be think that someone screaming is the pinnacle of hilarity. Over and over, a lame sex joke gets snuck in there and we get a speech from someone about how the good old days were awesome and how today, well things just aren’t the same. Many aspects of Pixels feel like they’ve been pulled from a time long gone that we'd rather forget. Most notably, the romantic sub plots, who are so awful you’re tempted to give the actresses standing ovations for playing their parts without cringing.

If you’ve seen the 2010 Pixels short, there’s no reason to see this full-length film. Adam Sandler’s usual comedic antics add nothing to the cool voxel look and the visual gags in its 2-minute running time isn't improved by cameos by Serena Williams or Nick Swardson. I suppose Happy Madison fans may find some of it enjoyable but that's just a theory. (May 10, 2019)

[genevieveetguy]

- Suck it, "Reindeer Games"! - I'm not Ben Affleck. - You white, then you Ben Affleck. - You are white. - That's true, I am white.

Role Models, David Wain (2008)

[bylaw]

An innocent and silly tribute to the eighties and the classic video games of the time that is actually a lot of fun if you are into those kind of things...

[bylaw]

This Means War

Lauren: FDR has these tiny, like, girl hands. Like little T-Rex hands.Trish: Eeww gross, that means he's got a mike and ike for a penis.FDR Foster: [to Tuck] You know that's not true. This Means WarStarring Reese Witherspoon, Chris Pine, Tom HardyWritten by Timothy Dowling, Simon KinbergDirected by McGPlot: Two CIA operatives battle each other in comical ways for the heart of girl."Love the chemistry of the cast... A cute romantic comedy with some great action sequences."