When you’re a new dad, it’s hard to keep track of yourself, your life. It’s called the “new-dad-dummies,” and it happens to everyone. I’ve done my best here to select 10 high-value pointers and reminders for those afflicted with NDD.
1. You’re a jerk when you’re tired (and you’re going to be tired).
If you weren’t so sleepy, you’d know not to say that jerk thing. Since you are sleepy, and may remain so off-and-on for a few weeks/months/years, you should get used to biting your cranky tongue.
2. Your wife just went through the ringer.
You’re tired, sure, but she’s tired AND she carried a baby before she pushed it out, or had it surgically removed. You are her servant, now, and rightly so. Depending on your pregnancy, you may be more or less prepared for this arrangement.
3. A newborn is hardly a person.
In no time, really, just a few months, your baby will be one of your favorite people. Brand-newborns are fascinating but at first you’re all just getting adjusted.
4. Your job can kiss your ass.
This is easier said than done, I know. But to whatever extent possible, f#*! it. A person just popped out of your wife’s body and together you’re gonna have to keep it alive.
5. It is possible to establish a sleeping schedule.
My wife had a lot of experience with babies so she lead that way on this one. What I learned, though, is that is can happen, and you’ll be glad when it does.
6. Learn all the words to a few songs.
Babies sometimes need a lot of help getting to sleep. Singing helps calm the baby and helps you pass the time. You’ll regret only knowing a few words to a lot of songs. Learn all the words from a few songs, trust me. Eloise really liked a few slow ones by Wilco..
Some babies prefer the intense bounce to the gentle rocking of a rocking chair or glider. Also, when it’s time to put baby to bed, the dismount is a lot easier. For $10 or less, it’s worth a shot, right?
You’ve heard it before, but you need to take this advice very seriously.
9. Breastfeeding is a Lingering Pregnancy
Like pregnancy, the baby’s mommy is solely responsible for sustaining her tiny little squishy baby. And, like the pregnancy, a lot of people will want to tell your wife how to do it. Don’t be one of those people. Just be understanding of the challenge, supportive of her struggle.
Ideally a dad friend, otherwise, anyone will do. The point is, you have the new-dad crazies and you need to keep a foot in reality until you recover.
