#tism rant

[dykeeeprincesss]

Hiii :)

Happily Taken by @custos-arcanorum 🫀

28 | femme lesbian | sub | pillow princess | plus sized femme | chronic illness girlie

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🎀main account: @piscesmesss

my butches claimed anon-🫀

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[dykeeeprincesss]

can i just say… bc im rewatching twilight on a random tuesday…. bella shouldn’t have been able to get pregnant at all. if edward is essentially made of crystal… there should be no blood flow right? there’s never any vampire blood split in any of the movies or books… so like… he shouldn’t be able to get hard to even put his dick in bella…. let alone have any viable sperm that would get bella pregnant on the first fucking try… ridiculous

[pheadhones]

I’m really not enjoying being this bad at making, maintaining and understanding friendships. it’s not even that anything ever happens I’m just so used to questioning whether I should be talking or shutting up or trying to participate or if I’m overstepping boundaries. unmasking has been a good thing but it’s made something that was already difficult for me, extra difficult and five times as confusing.

[deadsprout]

so one thing that makes me think my dad was autistic is that he would have these phrases he would say over and over again, regardless of context. "nobody's going to like you" "they're all going to laugh at you" "your ass is grass and i'm smoking it" "you don't live here, you're just visiting." shit like that.

now, out of context, that sounds pretty traumatic. let me reassure you, as a 10 year old, it was. i didn't realize these were movies quotes until i was in my 20s and he was dead. but i realized he wasn't TRYING to traumatize me, he was trying to connect with me with the most ass backwards references that no normal 10 year old in 2000 would know.

i told myself, i'll never do that. i'll never say shit to my kids they would have no way of understanding. i wouldn't ever, ever make references that have a chance of putting them down, confusing them, ruining their brain development. none of it.

but who am I kidding??? I literally just scream for the sake of it, my partner will make echolalia noises until my head is about to pop off. just now, as I was opening netflix, I mumbled to myself "... uncuht gaaaahms." like??? my kid doesn't stand a chance of being well adjusted.